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A humorous poem about “man flu”

<p><em><strong>Barbara Binland is the pen name of a senior, Julie Grenness, in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. She is a poet, writer, and part-time English and Maths tutor, with over 40 years of experience. Her many books are available on Amazon and Kindle.</strong></em></p> <p align="center"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Colds for Older Men</span></p> <p align="center">Wifey flings open the bedroom door,</p> <p align="center">Not gazing kindly, a picture she draws,</p> <p align="center">Wife blows her nose, her cheeks a’rose,</p> <p align="center">Her husband lies there, full of moans,</p> <p align="center">Her husband begs,</p> <p align="center">Wifey takes a breath,</p> <p align="center">“Yes, dear, I know you have a man-cold,</p> <p align="center">But, dear, I too, have a man-cold,</p> <p align="center">But women are not allowed to groan,</p> <p align="center">or nag, says men, you are alone,</p> <p align="center">I, too, have a cold,</p> <p align="center">But, well, this washing’s getting old,</p> <p align="center">I’m cooking tea, and minding the grandkids,</p> <p align="center">No, I shan’t make soup like your mother did,</p> <p align="center">Yes, dear, the undertakers are near,</p> <p align="center">Here’s your last will for your man-cold,</p> <p align="center">Your whinging, is like, well, old!</p> <p align="center">I have to iron your shirts now,</p> <p align="center">Yes, dear, I know I am a fat old cow,</p> <p align="center">But, dear, I have your balls in my purse,</p> <p align="center">I do hope our man-colds don’t get any worse!</p>

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A humorous poem about ageing

<p><em><strong>Lynn Fowler can’t remember a time she didn’t write. As a Christian minister, much of her writing has been Christian non-fiction and poetry. She’s recently ventured into fiction and released her first general market novel.</strong></em></p> <p style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Growing old (dis)gracefully</span><br /> <br /> Youth says age<br /> should be discreet<br /> soft and gentle<br /> and ever so sweet<br /> <br /> should dress in a manner<br /> that befits our days<br /> featuring mostly<br /> dark blues and greys<br /> <br /> should potter in garden<br /> or else in the house<br /> and when out in public<br /> be quiet as a mouse<br /> <br /> and never, never<br /> make a fuss<br /> “today” is all about<br /> them, not us.<br /> <br /> Well, I've news for you, Darling,<br /> and none of it's good:<br /> and don't answer back<br /> 'cause I'm not in the mood.<br /> <br /> I intend to keep being<br /> sassy and loud<br /> I don't need to be<br /> approved by the crowd.<br /> <br /> I intend to keep speaking<br /> my mind when I care<br /> I intend to keep fighting<br /> for what's right and fair.<br /> <br /> I intend to keep dancing<br /> to music that's cool:<br /> I couldn't care less<br /> who thinks me a fool.<br /> <br /> I plan to keep talking<br /> to strangers on trains<br /> and jumping in puddles<br /> whenever it rains<br /> <br /> and to keep running<br /> through grass that is long<br /> and flying a kite<br /> and singing a song;<br /> <br /> swinging on branches<br /> playing in sand<br /> and spending some days<br /> without anything planned.<br /> <br /> I plan to keep traveling<br /> and seeing new places<br /> experiencing life<br /> with all kinds of races.<br /> <br /> I want to ride rapids<br /> and fly a balloon -<br /> give me half a chance<br /> and I'll fly to the moon.<br /> <br /> I want to keep learning,<br /> expanding my mind,<br /> I've experienced much<br /> but there's much more to find.<br /> <br /> I might learn to juggle<br /> or speak Cantonese,<br /> but whatever I do<br /> will be just what I please.<br /> <br /> I'm going to keep wearing<br /> purple and green<br /> I don't care if those colors<br /> should never be seen<br /> <br /> with bright red and yellow<br /> and orange and blue -<br /> I might throw a splash<br /> of magenta in, too.<br /> <br /> I'll make no apology<br /> for what I say:<br /> my “use by date”<br /> is still far, far away.<br /> <br /> So don't let me hear you<br /> “Oh Grandma!”-ing me:<br /> I've waited a lifetime<br /> to become this free.</p> <p><em>Lynn’s short general writing can be found <strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://niume.com/profile/50152#!/posts">here</a></span></strong> and her books <strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://birdcatcherbooks.com/">here</a></span></strong>.</em></p> <p><em>*Picture is a stock image and not of Lynn Fowler. </em></p> <p><strong><em>Do you have a story to share? Share your story with the Over60 community <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://www.oversixty.com.au/community/contributor/community-contributor/">today</a></span>. </em></strong></p>

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