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How was Halloween invented? Once a Celtic pagan tradition, the holiday has evolved to let kids and adults try on new identities

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/linus-owens-457047">Linus Owens</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/middlebury-1247">Middlebury</a> “It’s alive!” Dr. Frankenstein cried as his creation stirred to life. But the creature had a life of its own, eventually escaping its creator’s control. Much like Frankenstein’s monster, traditions are also alive, which means they can change over time or get reinvented. Built from a hodgepodge of diverse parts, Halloween is one such tradition that has been continually reinvented since its ancient origins as <a href="https://press.uchicago.edu/ucp/books/book/distributed/T/bo46408548.html">a Celtic pagan ceremony</a>. Yet beneath the superhero costumes and bags of candy still beats the heart of the original. The Celts lived in what’s now Ireland as far back as 500 B.C. They celebrated New Year’s Day on Nov. 1, which they called <a href="https://www.loc.gov/folklife/halloween-santino.html">Samhain</a>. They believed that leading up to the transition to the new year, the door between the worlds of the living and the dead swung open. The souls of the recently dead, previously trapped on Earth, could now pass to the underworld. Since they thought spirits came out after dark, this supernatural activity reached its peak the night before, on Oct. 31. The Celts invented rituals to protect themselves during this turbulent time. They put on costumes and disguises to fool the spirits. They lit bonfires and stuck candles inside carved turnips – the first jack-o’-lanterns – to scare away any spirits looking for mischief. If all else failed, they carried a pocketful of treats to pay off wayward spirits and send them back <a href="https://global.oup.com/academic/product/halloween-9780195168969?cc=us&lang=en&">on their way to the underworld</a>. Sound familiar? <a href="https://theconversation.com/halloweens-celebration-of-mingling-with-the-dead-has-roots-in-ancient-celtic-celebrations-of-samhain-191300">Although focused on the dead</a>, Samhain was ultimately <a href="https://utpress.org/title/halloween-other-festivals/">for the living</a>, who needed plenty of help of their own when transitioning to the new year. Winter was cold and dark. Food was scarce. Everyone came together for one last bash to break bread, share stories and stand tall against the dead, strengthening community ties at the time they were needed most. When Catholics arrived in Ireland around A.D. 300, they opened another door between worlds, unleashing considerable conflict. They sought to convert the Celts by changing their pagan rituals into Christian holidays. They rechristened Nov. 1 “All Saints Day,” which today remains a celebration of Catholic saints. But the locals held on to their old beliefs. They believed the dead still wandered the Earth. So the living still dressed in costumes. This activity still took place the night before. It just had a new name to fit the Catholic calendar: “All Hallows Eve,” which is <a href="https://www.loc.gov/folklife/halloween-santino.html">where we got the name Halloween</a>. Irish immigrants <a href="https://www.irishpost.com/heritage/how-irish-great-famine-brought-halloween-to-america-161376">brought Halloween to America in the 1800s</a> while escaping the Great Potato Famine. At first, Irish Halloween celebrations were an oddity, viewed suspiciously by other Americans. As such, Halloween wasn’t celebrated much in America at the time. As the Irish integrated into American society, Halloween was reinvented again, this time as an all-American celebration. It became a holiday primarily for kids. Its religious overtones faded, with supernatural saints and sinners being replaced by generic ghosts and goblins. Carved turnips gave way to the <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/the-history-of-jack-o-lantern">pumpkins</a> now emblematic of the holiday. Though trick-or-treating resembles ancient traditions like guising, where costumed children went door to door for gifts, <a href="https://www.bakersfield.com/opinion/jack-santino-five-myths-about-halloween/article_6fe79e19-d106-52cc-a895-4a3a72d09c93.html">it’s actually an American invention</a>, created to entice kids away from rowdy holiday pranks toward more wholesome activities. Halloween has become a tradition many new immigrants adopt along their journey toward American-ness and is increasingly <a href="https://www.cambridgescholars.com/product/978-1-4438-0153-9">being exported around the world</a>, with locals reinventing it in new ways to adapt it to their own culture. What’s so special about Halloween is that it turns the world upside down. The dead walk the Earth. Rules are meant to be broken. And kids exercise a lot of power. They decide what costume to wear. They make demands on others by asking for candy. “Trick or treat” is their battle cry. They do things they’d never get away with any other time, but on Halloween, they get to act like adults, trying it on to see how it fits. Because Halloween allows kids more independence, it’s possible to mark significant life stages through holiday firsts. First Halloween. First Halloween without a parent. First Halloween that’s no longer cool. First Halloween as a parent. Growing up used to mean growing out of Halloween. But today, <a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/business/2012/10/24/halloween-adults-costumes-elvira-mistress-of-the-dark/1593177/">young adults</a> seem even more committed to Halloween than kids. What changed: adults or Halloween? Both. Caught between childhood and adulthood, today’s young adults find Halloween a perfect match to their struggles to find themselves and make their way in the world. Their participation has reinvented Halloween again, now bigger, more elaborate and <a href="https://www.newsweek.com/halloween-prices-cost-more-expensive-pumpkin-candy-costumes-1754635">more expensive</a>. Yet in <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-has-halloween-become-so-popular-among-adults-104896">becoming an adult celebration</a>, it comes full circle to return to its roots as a holiday celebrated mainly by adults. Halloween is a living tradition. You wear a costume every year, but you’d never wear the same one. You’ve changed since last year, and your costume reflects that. Halloween is no different. Each year, it’s the same celebration, but it’s also something totally new. In what ways are you already reinventing the Halloween of the future today? <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/linus-owens-457047">Linus Owens</a>, Associate Professor of Sociology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/middlebury-1247">Middlebury</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-was-halloween-invented-once-a-celtic-pagan-tradition-the-holiday-has-evolved-to-let-kids-and-adults-try-on-new-identities-192379">original article</a>.

Art

Who let the wrong dog out? Dad's hilarious doggy daycare blunder

Leigh Terrell entrusted her dad to pick her dog up from daycare. Little did she know that the pup he had with him was not hers, and now the moment she realised her dog had been left behind at the daycare has gone viral. "This is what happens when you let a man pick up your dog from daycare," she captioned the post shared on <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@leigh.terrell/photo/7403459903190289695" target="_blank" rel="noopener">TikTok</a>. She shared a series of text messages between her and her dad, after he sent her a picture of the dog he collected, to which she replied: "Let me see his face haha that doesn't look like him." She then jokingly sent a follow up text saying: "make sure you got the right dog," with no idea that he actually collected the wrong dog. Her dad then sent another photo of the dog, now facing him, and wrote: "His collar [is] on," and that was the moment it clicked for Terrell. "That's not my dog dad. That is not Archie, you need to go back and switch him out," she replied. It appeared that both dad and the daycare had mixed up the two dogs who looked pretty similar. The father then replied with a photo of Archie, to which Terrell replied: "Alright that's my dog thanks." The video has racked up over 4 million views, and many were amused at the dad's blunder. "The way the first dog is looking out the window for his real dad, too," one user wrote. Another joked: "I'm imagining the first dog thinking 'my name is NOT Archie' as your dad tries to get his attention for a pic lmao." "The way your dad didn't reply, I bet he was panicking and thinking he did not just dognap someone's baby," another wrote. "That dog knew he wasn't supposed to be there" another joked. Images: TikTok

Family & Pets

Woman “bullied” on plane over budget seating trick

A young woman has recalled a flight from hell when she was “bullied” by a couple who were trying to utilise a seating hack that went viral on TikTok. The solo traveller took to Reddit to recount the story and ask social media users if she was in the wrong for her action. The woman began by saying she usually pays more to select her plane seat ahead of time, but a medical emergency on another plane had her waiting on standby and left with no option other than to sit in a middle seat. When she was finally able to board, she was greeted by a couple who had purchased both the window and aisle seats in a bid to have more space, utilising a travel “trick” that has been popular on TikTok. The method, which has been dubbed the 'poor man's business class', usually leaves travellers with an empty middle seat and more space, and few travellers opt to pick a middle seat. “When I got to my row the man and woman were chatting and sharing a snack... it was obvious they were together. I mentioned to the man that I'm in the middle, and he got up to let me in,” the unsuspecting traveller wrote on Reddit. “I asked them if they would prefer to sit together, I said I was totally okay with that. The woman reacted rudely to this and said ‘you're not supposed to be sitting here anyway’.” After noticing how the plane was full, she offered to show the pair her new ticket with the correct seat number on it. “She flicked her hand at my ticket and made a disgusted sound. I offered again if they wanted to sit together to which she didn't reply, her partner said it's okay and... made some small talk,” she continued. The man’s girlfriend then interrupted their conversation to ask,”'Did you use one of those third party websites to book your flight? It's so frustrating when people cheap out to inconvenience others.” The American woman explained that she had booked her flight directly and she had been placed on standby like everyone else and didn't choose the middle seat - she was assigned it. She then tried to keep the peace by refusing to engage with the furious woman. “I was so done with her attitude, I put my headphones on and attempted to do my own thing,” she explained. But the “entitled” girlfriend wasn't letting it go, as the woman explained, “This woman kept reaching over me and tapping her partner and trying to talk to him in a way that was super intrusive.” “I could tell even her partner was trying to engage her less so that she would hopefully stop, but she didn't.” “I think they tried to pull that tactic where they don't sit together on purpose...hoping no one will sit between them. But on full flights it doesn't work. And even so - it's not the other person's fault.” The traveller's post was met with hundreds of comments slamming the girlfriend’s behaviour, as one person wrote, “It's like a toddler having a tantrum.” “She was disappointed and a total a**hole. Gross entitled people,” another added. Another person applauded the traveller’s level-headed behaviour, writing, “Wow! You are my hero for keeping it classy - I’m afraid I would not have been as kind as you.” Image credits: Shutterstock

Travel Trouble

Announcing Kate Middleton’s cancer diagnosis should have been simple. But the palace let it get out of hand

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/victoria-fielding-236389">Victoria Fielding</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/saira-ali-1522239">Saira Ali</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a> The British royal family is famous for its carefully curated media image. That’s why it was a surprise to see them lose control of the narrative in the wake of what we now know is a serious health crisis befalling Catherine, Princess of Wales (or Kate Middleton as she’s popularly known). It is clear the nearly 1,000-year-old institution of the monarchy and its tradition of “<a href="https://news.northeastern.edu/2024/03/14/kate-middleton-photo-pr-crisis/">never complain, never explain</a>” is being tested by social media and its power to spread rumours and misinformation. The palace’s public relations team has underestimated how difficult it is to manage relationships with social media audiences. Their reactive attempts to rein in speculation has turned Catherine’s health challenge into a PR disaster. Social media, with its lax regulations and freer environment, offers a more open forum for users to say whatever they like about the royals. It’s served as a hotbed for Catherine conspiracies, particularly on TikTok. These theories are as wild as they are ridiculous, from Catherine being a prisoner in the palace to her hiding in <a href="https://www.prdaily.com/kate-middleton-stanley-alabama-retail/">Taylor Swift’s London home</a>. What should have been a simple announcement to a sympathetic public about a popular royal having cancer turned into a spider’s web of competing conspiracy theories across social media. How did it all go so terribly wrong? <h2>I’ve lost track, what happened?</h2> All was well with the Prince and Princess of Wales when they were filmed attending church on Christmas Day. As usual when royals are out in public, the scene was picture perfect with everyone dutifully smiling for the cameras in “<a href="https://www.harpersbazaar.com/celebrity/latest/a46227698/kate-middleton-royal-blue-christmas-day-church-service-prince-william-kids/">co-ordinated</a>” outfits. Two weeks later, Kensington Palace announced Catherine had undergone planned abdominal surgery, with <a href="https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Culture/princess-kate-hospitalized-after-planned-abdominal-surgery-palace/story?id=106441561">palace sources</a> telling media the surgery had been “successful” and she would need two weeks to recover. On January 29, the palace announced Catherine had returned home to recuperate. <a href="https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/tradition/a46569739/king-charles-discharged-from-hospital/">Unlike King Charles</a> when he released news of his cancer diagnosis on February 5, Catherine was not photographed leaving hospital. This was the first PR misstep. She had appeared outside hospital soon after giving birth to her three children, but this time she remained uncharacteristically out of the public eye. Almost a month later, when Prince William <a href="https://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/prince-william-pulls-memorial-godfather-211406977.html?amp;guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAG6tOzuXsqZXP6G2nLLd-lnWzZhYKHVJ5TJ-w5XCCfgMjerRrR8v1R8unjtcoQTbvPDsVt3mtTcZ_g0os6zwOuEFfMKCh0kfEExvz-dB2FG0uqcy6-GoryjvG99TEhMli66hNZLjLENmMhq1mwoV7GmM0AYezMDsZtZVtONH9C1b&guccounter=2">unexpectedly withdrew</a> from his godfather’s memorial citing “personal reasons”, social media users started asking “Where is Princess Kate?”. Used to a steady stream of content about the royal family, the public were unsurprisingly questioning if there was more to Catherine’s abdominal surgery than they were being told. In a rare reactive move, the palace tried to quell questions about Catherine’s whereabouts by releasing a <a href="https://people.com/palace-responds-kate-middleton-conspiracy-theories-online-surgery-recovery-rare-statement-8602191">statement</a> reiterating that she would not be returning to public duties until Easter. On March 4, US outlet <a href="https://www.tmz.com/2024/03/04/kate-middleton-seen-spotted-public-first-time-mystery-hospitalization/">TMZ published</a> a paparazzi photo of Catherine driving with her mother. Social media audiences asked if it really was Catherine. Over the next week, conspiracy theories about Catherine’s absence reached frenzied levels. To show everything was fine, Kensington Palace released a <a href="https://twitter.com/KensingtonRoyal/status/1766750995445387393?s=20">Mother’s Day photo</a> of Catherine and her children on their social media accounts. Social media users spotted apparently edited flaws and global news agencies announced “<a href="https://apnews.com/article/kate-princess-photo-surgery-ca91acf667c87c6c70a7838347d6d4fb">kill orders</a>”, saying the image had been manipulated. The next day, Catherine <a href="https://twitter.com/KensingtonRoyal/status/1767135566645092616">apologised</a> on social media for editing the photo. Although royals have been <a href="https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/tradition/a60191061/royal-photoshop-history/">editing their pictures</a> for centuries, it seems particularly digitally naive of the palace’s PR team to release such an obviously edited image into an already cynical social media environment, creating fodder for more conspiracy theories. Mainstream news outlets then joined social media users in asking questions about Catherine’s absence. Although this media attention did not legitimise wild conspiracies, in some ways it fuelled them. Days later, TMZ <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erWJNmbrECs">published footage</a> of Catherine and William shopping. At this point in the media chaos, many social media users claimed it was fake. This intense public speculation finally ended on March 23, when Catherine <a href="https://twitter.com/KensingtonRoyal/status/1771235267837321694?s=20">released a video</a> explaining her extended absence after abdominal surgery was caused by the surgeons discovering cancer. During a crisis, the public crave transparency, authenticity, honesty and reassurance. These elements were missing in the royal PR team’s carefully worded statements made directly to mainstream media along with reactive, overly curated social media posts. By providing scant details, the palace seemed to believe they could control public perception. But public image is increasingly difficult to control. <h2>The double-edged sword of social media</h2> After Princess Diana’s death in a paparazzi-chase car accident, privacy laws and <a href="https://time.com/4914324/princess-diana-anniversary-paparazzi-tabloid-media/">media regulations</a> forbade the most invasive breaches of the royal family’s privacy, particularly for her children, princes William and Harry. However, tabloid appetite for uncontrolled access soon returned once the princes became adults. Recently, Harry and his wife Meghan have been involved in <a href="https://www.reuters.com/world/uk/prince-harry-his-many-lawsuits-against-press-2023-12-15/">several lawsuits</a> against media companies over breaches of privacy, including phone hacking. The rise of social media has typically been viewed as a tool that gives royals more control over their image through the curation of their own personal content. Previously, the fact Catherine was the one <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/kate-middleton-cutest-family-photos-2018-5">taking photos</a> of her children was seen as a sign of authenticity and being down to earth (as much as a princess could be). Yet, social media is both a blessing and a curse for the management of public reputations. The perpetuation of contested facts and theories on social media in the wake of Princess Catherine’s unexplained absence shows how difficult it is to curate a controlled image using social media. Lack of verified information in mainstream media helps fuel speculative flames. While <a href="https://www.thedrum.com/news/2024/03/22/where-the-palace-lost-the-plot-and-what-we-can-learn-about-pr-and-empathy-kategate">PR experts</a> believe it is understandable and appropriate for Catherine and her family to have privacy during this time, more timely, direct and honest communication would have gone a long way to prevent relentless gossip. Once rumours and conspiracies gained momentum, the palace perhaps thought the less information provided, the better. However, silence during a crisis just fuels more speculation because the lack of information makes it look like there is something to hide. Catherine’s personal video announcing her cancer diagnosis helped end the social media frenzy. This shows a simple, clear statement posted by Kensington Palace to social media weeks ago would likely have avoided the PR disaster and provided Catherine the privacy she so clearly needs. The palace is now <a href="https://www.sheknows.com/entertainment/articles/2986509/kate-middleton-cancer-pr-disaster/">being criticised</a> for complicating a situation that was relatively simple in retrospect. Many social media users are also upset Catherine took public blame for the photoshopping incident. Any organisation that deals with the media to maintain positive reputations, including the British monarchy, has no choice but to adapt to all kinds of media, including social media. The long-time practice of keeping calm and carrying on amid controversy and the 24-hour gossip cycle doesn’t work in the era of TikTok, X and YouTube. In the absence of trusted information, social media will do what it does best: take mostly innocuous online chatter and amplify it until it goes viral.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/226490/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/victoria-fielding-236389">Victoria Fielding</a>, Lecturer, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/saira-ali-1522239">Saira Ali</a>, Senior Lecturer in Media, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/announcing-kate-middletons-cancer-diagnosis-should-have-been-simple-but-the-palace-let-it-get-out-of-hand-226490">original article</a>.

Caring

Why you shouldn’t let guilt motivate you to exercise

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/martin-j-turner-489218">Martin J Turner</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/manchester-metropolitan-university-860">Manchester Metropolitan University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anthony-miller-679114">Anthony Miller</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/staffordshire-university-1381">Staffordshire University</a> The hardest part of consistently exercising is finding the motivation to do it. But using the wrong type of motivation for your workouts could militate against you – and could even have consequences for your mental health. Our research, which <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/02640414.2022.2042124">investigated the motivations</a> of 650 frequent exercisers, found that people who believed things like “I am a loser if I do not succeed in things that matter to me” and “I have to be viewed favourably by people that matter to me” were more likely to use self-pressure and wanting to avoid guilt as motivation to exercise. Not only was this group more likely to not want to exercise at all, we also found that those who used guilt and self-pressure as motivation were at greater risk of experiencing poor mental health. The tendency to hold dogmatic beliefs like “I must” or “I have to”, and harmful beliefs about yourself creates a negative and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10413200.2018.1446472?casa_token=ObBghnn3ab4AAAAA%3ATpiEvunYBqKbIqI2_kuC5fM2zMvhhYLP72TVplW3Noc4PYhQUaMBkq1pEabaXXid0hwnE3R5kNYvnA">unhealthy approach to exercise</a>. But the darker side of this mindset is that people who held these beliefs reported higher symptoms of anxiety, depression and stress compared with exercisers who didn’t use self-pressure and guilt as motivation. While it’s possible that people already experiencing poor mental health would be more likely to have negative beliefs about themselves, there’s a deeply reciprocal relationship between mental health and how we think and act. Research shows that extreme, rigid, negative ways of thinking are <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26609889/">risk factors for mental health problems</a>. Repeating negative thoughts many times, over many years, can lead to deep self-loathing which can corrode your <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2019-59628-001">mental health</a> and leave you in a continuous state of <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/02640414.2022.2042124">stress and depression</a>. It can also make you even less likely to positively change your thinking and <a href="https://journals.humankinetics.com/view/journals/tsp/8/3/article-p248.xml">exercise habits</a>. On the other hand, our study found that people who reported lower symptoms of depression, anxiety and stress had significantly less extreme, rigid and negative ways of thinking. These participants were less likely to endorse ways of thinking that involved self-demands (“I must”), magnification (“things are awful”), and self-condemnation (“I am a failure”). These exercisers reported using more useful forms of motivation to workout, such as exercising because they loved the activity and recognised the value and importance of exercise as a part of their identity. These findings show us just how important the thoughts you use to motivate your workouts can be, especially when it comes to your mental health. One solution to these ways of thinking is a psychological approach called <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01423/full">rational emotive behaviour therapy</a> (REBT). REBT aims to understand and challenge deeply held beliefs and develop helpful alternatives. This approach may help an exerciser go from “I have to exercise” and “I’d be worthless if I didn’t exercise” to thinking “I really want to exercise, but if I didn’t exercise, I would be disappointed, but I would not be worthless.” Improving a person’s beliefs about exercise can change their motivation from being centred on self-pressure and guilt to seeing the value and potential enjoyment in working out. There are many <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Rational-Practitioner-Performance-Psychologists-Practicing/dp/1032060409">ideas and tools</a> we can apply from REBT even without having to step foot inside a psychologist’s office. So if you find yourself falling into this cycle of self-loathing and losing motivation to exercise, here’s what you can do. <h2>Think critically about your thinking</h2> When you think about exercising, are your thoughts negative, unhelpful and self-pressuring? Be more critical of your thoughts about exercise, and ask yourself whether they make sense – and if they’re helping you. If the answer is no, try to work on adopting thoughts that do make sense and help you achieve your exercise goals, such as seeing exercise as something to enjoy, instead of something you have to do out of guilt. Being able to challenge your own unhelpful beliefs, and learning to harness more helpful ones, can help you <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/sms.12926?casa_token=fbVymZ3SxrAAAAAA:SiNRAlz0Xh11xbeWDUtxjwlP40gDfurptgas5SSHYLtLD9v06uLm8ztlTvi1AnwTSvTReT_u-fdgiJ0h">achieve your goals</a>. <h2>Realise you’re not what you do</h2> As human beings, we’re imperfect. We mess up – but we also do great things. When things don’t go to plan, it’s important to try and accept this. And remember that failing doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Realise that you aren’t <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1469029222001662">defined by your shortcomings</a>. Recognising that failing does not make you a failure may help you better bounce back from times when you fall short of your goals and expectations and keep on track with reaching your goals and finding solutions. <h2>Harness the power of want</h2> You’re far more likely to stick to your exercise goals if you <a href="https://selfdeterminationtheory.org/SDT/documents/1997_RyanFrederickLepesRubioSheldon.pdf">want to do them</a>. Find an activity that offers you something more than just exercise. Perhaps join an exercise group where you can make new friends or rekindle your passion for something you used to do. If you’re only exercising because you believe you have to or to avoid guilt, then you probably won’t stick with it. Nobody likes to be pressured into doing difficult things. Finding an activity you don’t have to force yourself to do may help you move from seeing exercise as something you have to do to something you love to do. Exercise is, of course, important, but guilting yourself into doing it will probably do more harm than good. The best way is by finding things you enjoy, accepting yourself unconditionally if your motivation does wane, and removing “have to” from your thoughts about exercise.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/220342/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/martin-j-turner-489218">Martin J Turner</a>, Reader in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/manchester-metropolitan-university-860">Manchester Metropolitan University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anthony-miller-679114">Anthony Miller</a>, Senior Lecturer in Sport and Exercise Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/staffordshire-university-1381">Staffordshire University</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-you-shouldnt-let-guilt-motivate-you-to-exercise-220342">original article</a>.

Body

Pizza chain's delightfully devilish scheme lets you pay when you die

A delightfully devilish pizza chain is taking the 'buy now, pay later' scheme to the next level, giving customers the chance to pay for their pizza when they die. HELL Pizza is inviting pizza fans to apply for the trial scheme, which involves amending their wills to have their total cost included. The chain has one store in Brisbane, with the rest of its stores located around New Zealand, with customers from both countries able to apply for the scheme, which involves no late fees or penalties. The restaurant will select 666 applicants from each country, who will be invited to sign a real amendment to their wills allowing the cost of their pizza to be collected upon death. According to HELL Pizza CEO Ben Cumming, pizza is one of the simple joys of life, and AfterLife Pay means diners can get their fix without having to dip into the bank account immediately. The scheme emerged after the business was approached by popular 'buy now, pay later' providers who wanted HELL Pizza to offer the service to its customers. The pizza chain's unique AfterLife Pay came as a direct response to this proposal, as a statement against “schemes trapping a growing number of Aussies in spirals of debt”, Cumming said. “We’re seeing a growing number of people using the schemes to buy essential items like food, and we think it’s taking it a step too far when you’ve got quick service restaurants like ours being asked to offer BNPL for what is considered a treat,” he said. “Especially when you consider people are falling behind in their payments and 10.5 percent of loans are in arrears." “AfterLife Pay is a light-hearted campaign that reinforces HELL’s stance on BNPL schemes - you can have your pizza and eat it too without any pesky late fees or penalties.” Applicants can apply for the scheme <a href="https://hellpizza.nz/wickedpedia/2023/05/25/buy-now-pay-much-later/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">online</a>, with the chain's restaurant assuring that you will you won't pay anything for your order until "you're resting six feet under". Image credits: HELL Pizza

Food & Wine

I’m a psychotherapist – here are the 5 keys to letting my stress go

Going to therapy? Lately, the growing answer to that question is an emphatic Yes. Thanks to the increased interest in psychotherapy – especially in light of the stress the pandemic caused – some authorities suggest the coming years are likely to see a shortage of therapists…which is perhaps one of the few disadvantages of this trend. As more individuals recognise the need to manage stress, process trauma, and talk through challenges we face in work and our professional lives, many therapists are finding it likewise necessary to ratchet up the ways we take care of ourselves. When your job is to make space for others to process through struggle and heal – and complete the work that’s necessary to effectively manage your practice (and fulfil your role as a parent who works, in the case of myself and many others) – it is essential to take steps to stay feeling spiritually light and come back replenished to work every day. Every April during Stress Awareness Month, I take a conscious inventory of my own self-care strategies, keeping in mind that I can’t be at my best for others unless I’m taking care of myself first. Here are my best practices for getting into a good space, even when the day feels heavy. Engage in meaningful work The time we spend working often takes us away from other things that bring us joy. The truth is, it wears on all of us to think that we may be spending more time in connection with our co-workers than even our families. As often as you can remember to do so, recognise: Yes – your personal sacrifices provide you with what you need to survive – but also, consider how your work translates to the difference you make in the world. Burnout is a key problem facing our workforce today, but you’re less likely to experience burnout if you enjoy, and feel connected to, the work you do. Often at my job, I feel so connected to and proud of the work we do improving access to mental health care that it doesn’t seem like work at all! However, I am careful to make sure I disconnect at the end of the day so I can be present with my family when I’m not at work. Spend time with family and friends It’s important to spend time with those who are important to you. As we emerge from the pandemic (when we were often disconnected from friends, family, and other loved ones), it’s important to reconnect. Even if you can’t physically be present with each other, a key to managing stress is to set aside time each week to video conference with friends and family. Get fresh air I’ve always found that getting outside and doing something enjoyable helps me fill my cup. Whether it’s taking the dog for a walk, walking my son in his push-along sports car, or sitting in a rocking chair and taking in the sights and sounds…a little time outdoors is so good for the soul. Keep a gratitude journal We all know there is plenty of negativity in the world around us. I find it particularly helpful to focus on the positives by keeping a gratitude journal. This requires me to sift through the noise, zoom out from the daily minutiae, and focus on what I’m grateful for each day. Being intentional to think about what I’m grateful for improves my overall outlook and centres me. From time to time, it’s also nice to flip through the journal and reflect on all of the things that I have to be grateful for on a tough day. Go to therapy I wouldn’t be a good psychologist if I didn’t practise what I preach. Regardless of what is happening in your life, it is wonderful to have a non-partial, confidential sounding board. While my therapist has helped me through the toughest times in my life, she has also helped me focus on and celebrate the best times of my life. Therapy is really such a gift to give yourself. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/healthsmart/im-a-psychotherapist-here-are-the-5-keys-to-letting-my-stress-go" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>.

Mind

Don’t let financial shame be your ruin: open conversations can help ease the burden of personal deb

Nearly <a href="https://www.ipsos.com/en-nz/19th-ipsos-new-zealand-issues-monitor">two-thirds of New Zealanders</a> are worried about the cost of living, and a quarter are worried about <a href="https://www.canstar.co.nz/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Consumer-Pulse-Report-NZ-2023-Final-4.pdf">putting food on the table</a>. But the <a href="https://visionwest.org.nz/food-hardship-part-one/">shame</a> that can come with financial stress is preventing some people from seeking help. According to a recent survey, a third of New Zealanders were not completely truthful with their family or partners about the state of their finances, and 12% <a href="https://www.stuff.co.nz/business/money/129477493/financial-infidelity-research-finds-kiwis-hiding-debts-from-their-partners">actively hid their debt</a>. This shame and worry about money can spill over into <a href="https://www.nzherald.co.nz/bay-of-plenty-times/news/concerns-buy-now-pay-later-schemes-could-fuel-addiction-as-kiwis-spend-17b-last-year/VOV3VIDIG2MZBGJEGPMLGWDMJI/">addiction</a>, <a href="https://www.newsroom.co.nz/i-had-serious-concussion-bad-credit-and-15000-debt-abuse-survivor">violence</a> and <a href="https://corporate.dukehealth.org/news/financial-strains-significantly-raise-risk-suicide-attempts">suicide</a>. Considering the effect of financial stress on our wellbeing, it is clear we need to overcome the financial stigma that prevents us from getting help. We also <a href="https://www.apa.org/topics/money/family-financial-strain">owe it to our kids</a> to break the taboo around money by communicating our worries and educating them on how to manage finances better. <h2>The burden of growing debt</h2> <a href="https://www.stuff.co.nz/business/money/300817697/mortgage-pain-homeowners-facing-repayment-hikes-of-up-to-900-a-fortnight">Ballooning mortgage repayments</a> are compounding the financial distress of many New Zealanders. At the beginning of 2023, an estimated 11.9% of home owners were behind on loan payments, with more than <a href="https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/business/485045/data-shows-430-000-new-zealanders-behind-in-credit-repayments-in-january">18,400 mortgagees in arrears</a>. <div data-id="17"> </div> Given the <a href="https://www.treasury.govt.nz/publications/an/an-21-01-html">majority of household wealth</a> in New Zealand is in property, our financial vulnerability is closely linked to the ebbs and flows of the <a href="https://content.knightfrank.com/research/84/documents/en/global-house-price-index-q2-2021-8422.pdf">second most overinflated property market</a> in the world. There are also cultural reasons for growing financial distress. Many households have taken on significant debt to “<a href="https://www.stuff.co.nz/business/7616361/Keeping-up-with-the-Joneses">keep up with the Joneses</a>” and to pursue the quintessential <a href="https://www.interest.co.nz/property/99890/westpac-commissioned-survey-suggests-many-new-zealanders-still-pine-quarter-acre">quarter-acre dream</a>. Social comparison and peer pressure act as powerful levers contributing to problem debt and over-indebtedness. The average household debt in New Zealand is more than <a href="https://tradingeconomics.com/new-zealand/households-debt-to-income">170% of gross household income</a>. That is higher than the United Kingdom (133%), Australia (113%) or Ireland (96%). <h2>The rise of problem debt</h2> And we are digging a deeper hole. Over the past year, <a href="https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/business/485045/data-shows-430-000-new-zealanders-behind-in-credit-repayments-in-january">demand for credit cards increased by 21.7%</a>. The use of personal debt such as personal loans and deferred payment schemes <a href="https://www.nzherald.co.nz/business/demand-for-personal-credit-rises-arrears-also-up-as-cost-of-living-bites/YCEM74CII5FQBPJXO3UOG4Y3GY/">is also climbing</a>. There is a real risk this debt could become problem debt. Problem debt can have severe and wide-reaching consequences, including <a href="https://theconversation.com/over-300-000-new-zealanders-owe-more-than-they-own-is-this-a-problem-173497">housing insecurity</a>, <a href="http://www.socialinclusion.ie/publications/documents/2011_03_07_FinancialExclusionPublication.pdf">financial exclusion</a> (the inability to access debt at affordable interest rates), <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/07409710.2012.652016?journalCode=gfof20">poor food choices</a> and a plethora of <a href="https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1471-2458-14-489">health problems</a>. Yet, the hidden <a href="https://spssi.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/sipr.12074">psychological</a> and <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11205-008-9286-8">social cost of financial distress</a>remains often unspoken, overlooked and underestimated. Even before the pandemic, <a href="https://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/BU1909/S00616/research-shows-financial-stress-impacts-mental-wellbeing.htm">69% of New Zealanders were worried</a>about money. The share of people worrying about their financial situation was higher for women (74%), and particularly women aged 18-34 (82%). It is no coincidence that the latter are particularly at risk of problem debt through so-called <a href="https://acfr.aut.ac.nz/__data/assets/pdf_file/0008/691577/Gilbert-and-Scott-Study-2-Draft-v10Sept2022.pdf">“buy now, pay later” schemes</a>. The stigma of financial distress extends beyond the vulnerable and the marginalised in our society. A growing number of <a href="https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/political/467417/middle-income-families-hoping-for-help-in-budget-as-rising-costs-sting">middle-class New Zealanders </a> are quietly suffering financial distress, isolated by financial stigma and the taboos around discussing money. When pressed, one in two New Zealanders would rather <a href="https://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/BU2203/S00384/research-shows-wed-rather-talk-about-politics-than-our-finances.htm">talk politics over money</a>. <h2>Time to talk about money</h2> Navigating financial distress and <a href="https://digitalcommons.law.seattleu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2526&context=sulr">stigma</a> can feel overwhelming. Where money is a taboo subject, it may feel safer to withdraw, maintain false appearances, be secretive or shun social support. This tendency to avoid open discussions and suffer in silence can lead to <a href="https://loneliness.org.nz/lonely/at-home/financially-struggling/">feelings of isolation</a> and contribute to <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-financial-stress-can-affect-your-mental-health-and-5-things-that-can-help-201557">poor mental health</a>, such as depression, anxiety and emotional distress. Sadly, the trauma of living in financial distress can also <a href="http://irep.ntu.ac.uk/id/eprint/39442/1/1307565_Wakefield.pdf">break up families</a>. Losing the symbols of hard-gained success and facing the prospect of a reduced lifestyle can be tough. It often triggers feelings of personal failure and self doubt that deter us from taking proactive steps to talk openly and seek help. But what can families do to alleviate some of this distress? <h2>Seek help</h2> First, understand that <a href="https://www.ft.com/content/86767aac-98e0-4dae-8c5a-d3301b030703">you are not alone</a>. Over 300,000 New Zealanders <a href="https://theconversation.com/over-300-000-new-zealanders-owe-more-than-they-own-is-this-a-problem-173497">owe more than they earn</a>. Second, seek help. There are many services that help people work through their financial situation and formulate a plan. In the case of excessive debts, debt consolidation or <a href="https://goodshepherd.org.nz/debtsolve/">debt solution loans</a> may help reduce the overall burden and simplify your financial situation. For those struggling with increasing interest on their mortgages, reaching out to your bank early is critical. During the 2008 recession, banks in New Zealand <a href="https://www.beehive.govt.nz/release/banks-exchange-letters-crown-support-distressed-mortgage-borrowers">worked with customers</a> to avoid defaulting on mortgages, including reducing servicing costs, capitalising interest and moving households to interest-only loans. It is essential to understand that the <a href="https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/homed/real-estate/130677426/are-we-on-the-brink-of-a-wave-of-mortgagee-sales">banks do not want mortgagees to fail</a>, and that options exist. To help future generations avoid debt traps, we need open communication about money – also known as “<a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10834-020-09736-2">financial socialisation</a>”. This includes developing values, sharing knowledge and promoting behaviours that help build <a href="https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1241099.pdf">financial viability and contribute to financial wellbeing</a>. The lessons about handling money from family and friends are crucial for <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.02162/full">improving our children’s financial capability</a>, helping them be <a href="https://www.fsc.org.nz/it-starts-with-action-theme/growing-financially-resilient-kids">more financially resilient</a> and better able to survive the stresses we are experiencing now – and those <a href="https://www.stuff.co.nz/business/money/300836616/heres-how-much-household-costs-are-expected-to-increase">yet to come</a>. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/dont-let-financial-shame-be-your-ruin-open-conversations-can-help-ease-the-burden-of-personal-debt-202496" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Retirement Income

"Let's not worry too much": Sam Neill's devastating diagnosis

Sam Neill has revealed he has been battling blood cancer, but has remained in remission for the last eight months. The 75-year-old actor, who is most known for his work in the Jurassic Park franchise, told <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/film/2023/mar/17/sam-neill-cancer-memoir-interview" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Guardian</a> he had angioimmunoblastic T-cell lymphoma, or stage III blood cancer, and underwent chemotherapy. He will remain on chemo drugs for the rest of his life, but is currently cancer free. “I’m not off the hook as such, but there’s no cancer in my body,” Neill told the publication. Despite being in remission, the actor has battled some "dark moments" since his diagnosis. “I can’t pretend that the last year hasn’t had its dark moments,” Neill added in the interview. “But those dark moments throw the light into sharp relief, you know, and have made me grateful for every day and immensely grateful for all my friends. Just pleased to be alive.” Neill has detailed his journey with cancer in his upcoming memoirs, which he began writing while undergoing treatment. He shared a video to Instagram to give his fans an update on his health after news of his diagnosis broke, and revealed more about his book. He said, “I’m alive and kicking and I’m going to work and I’m very happy to be going back to work." “We start filming in seven days’ time. I’m doing a thing called Apples Never Fall [with] Annette Bening and a really wonderful cast. Here I am, and I wish the headline wasn’t that thing because the main thing is that I have written this book, it’s called Did I Ever Tell You This?. And it does mention cancer because that’s the sort of context in which I wrote it. " “But I didn’t really mean to write a book, I needed something to do while I was undergoing treatment, and I am used to going to work and I suddenly couldn’t go to work. So that’s why I wrote the book, and I have to say there’s been great response to it. People seem to love it, which is great." “I was very nervous, obviously as a first time author. Anyway, I think it’s fun. We subtitled it Movies, Life, Love and Other Catastrophes. So it gives you an idea of all the crazy things that have happened to me." “So I hope you enjoy it, and let’s not worry too much about ‘all that’ because I’m fine. OK!” When speaking to The Guardian about his upcoming memoir, Neill revealed that the opening chapter of his book contained the line, “The thing is, I’m crook. Possibly dying. I may have to speed this up.” Image credits: Getty Images

Caring

Dame Helen Mirren lets her “radical” hair down

Dame Helen Mirren has put her foot down over the idea that older women are meant to keep their hair short. While chatting to Lorraine Kelly on the UK breakfast TV show Lorraine, the award-winning actress - who has openly spoken out in the past against ‘beauty standards’ and the unfair stereotypes imposed on her generation - shared her latest take on the matter. “You’re not supposed to have longer hair after a certain age,” the 77-year-old stated. “But during Covid, I started growing my hair and I hadn’t actually had long hair since I was in my 20s,” she continued. “And it sort of grew and grew and grew, and I couldn’t be bothered to cut it, basically. “I thought, ‘do you know what? It’s pretty cool, I think I’ll stick with it for a little while. It will come off eventually’. “But I’m kind of enjoying it, it’s quite radical.” And when it came to the idea that Helen was “fly[ing] the flag” for women over 60, the actress shared that “life doesn’t stop. And creativity doesn’t stop and passion doesn’t stop and energy doesn’t stop, unless you decide to stop it. “So it’s just [to] be self-motivated, really, and never give up. And find enjoyment, if it’s possible in your life.” Helen has been stunning with her long hair and natural glow for years, on film sets and red carpets alike, and speaking out against ageism in life and the industry alike for many before that. In a 2021 interview with The Cut, she confessed she was opposed to the term ‘anti-ageing’, and that she found it to be quite “demeaning”. “We age. It happened. I’m really sorry, but you know what? It happens, and there’s no way out,” she explained. “It’s a part of the human condition. So to talk about ‘anti-ageing’ is like saying ‘anti-human’, ‘anti-real’, ‘anti-wisdom’, ‘anti-experience’, and so on, you know? “But you can put on your best possible face. It doesn’t mean you have to go, ‘oh my God, it’s all over for me!’ because it’s not all over for you … in a way, with each era, it’s the start of something new, so I absolutely believe in beauty products for all ages, and all skin types, but I don’t like the word ‘anti-ageing’. I think it’s demeaning, actually.” Similarly, in 2019, she told Grazia that ageism had been forced upon her generation for “far too long”. “It’s extremely annoying to women of my generation and others following mine to have beauty products sold on a 15-year-old face,” she said. Helen went on to explain in the interview that she didn’t feel comfortable using terms like “beauty” in that context, as it led those who are insecure about their appearance feel “immediately excluded” from the conversation. As she explained, “they’ll think ‘well, I’m not very beautiful. It’s all very well for these beautiful women, but I don’t feel beautiful’. “I don’t want to exclude these people from feeling fabulous about themselves.” Images: Getty

Beauty & Style

Let’s dance! How dance classes can lift your mood and help boost your social life

If your new year’s resolutions include getting healthier, exercising more and lifting your mood, dance might be for you. By dance, we don’t mean watching other people dance on TikTok, as much fun as this can be. We mean taking a dance class, or even better, a few. A growing body of <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/17482631.2020.1732526">research shows</a> the benefits of dance, regardless of the type (for example, classes or social dancing) or the style (hip hop, ballroom, ballet). Dance boosts our wellbeing as it improves our emotional and physical health, makes us feel less stressed and more socially connected. Here’s what to consider if you think dance might be for you. <h2>The benefits of dance</h2> Dance is <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1077800417745919">an engaging and fun</a> way of exercising, learning and meeting people. A review of the evidence <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/17482631.2020.1732526">shows</a> taking part in dance classes or dancing socially improves your health and wellbeing regardless of your age, gender or fitness. Another review focuses more specifically on benefits of dance across the lifespan. It <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/17482631.2021.1950891">shows</a> dance classes and dancing socially at any age improves participants’ sense of self, confidence and creativity. Researchers have also looked at specific dance programs. One UK-based dance program for young people aged 14 <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/14647893.2011.561306">shows</a> one class a week for three months increased students’ fitness level and self-esteem. This was due to a combination of factors including physical exercise, a stimulating learning environment, positive engagement with peers, and creativity. Another community-based program for adults in hospital <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/17533015.2020.1725072">shows</a> weekly dance sessions led to positive feelings, enriches social engagement and reduced stress related to being in hospital. If you want to know how much dance is needed to develop some of these positive effects, we have good news for you. A useful hint comes from a <a href="https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12889-015-2672-7">study</a> that looked exactly at how much creative or arts engagement is needed for good mental health – 100 or more hours a year, or two or more hours a week, in most cases. <h2>Dance is social</h2> But dance is more than physical activity. It is also a community ritual. Humans have <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/223398">always danced</a>. We still do so to mark and celebrate transitory periods in life. Think of how weddings prompt non-dancers to move rhythmically to music. Some cultures dance to celebrate childbirth. Many dance to celebrate religious and cultural holidays. This is what inspired French sociologist <a href="https://iep.utm.edu/emile-durkheim/">Emile Durkheim</a> (1858-1917) to explore how dance affects societies and cultures. Durkheim <a href="https://archive.org/search?query=external-identifier%3A%22urn%3Aoclc%3Arecord%3A689172179%22">saw</a> collective dance as a societal glue – a social practice that cultivates what he called “collective effervescence”, a feeling of dynamism, vitality and community. He observed how dance held cultures together by creating communal feelings that were difficult to cultivate otherwise, for example a feeling of uplifting togetherness or powerful unity. It’s that uplifting feeling you might experience when dancing at a concert and even for a brief moment forgetting yourself while moving in synchrony with the rest of the crowd. Synchronous <a href="https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/10.1086/529447">collective activities</a>, such as dance, provide a pleasurable way to foster social bonding. This is due to feelings Durkheim noticed that we now know as transcendental emotions – such as joy, awe and temporary dissolution of a sense of self (“losing yourself”). These can lead to feeling a part of something bigger than ourselves and help us experience social connectedness. For those of us still experiencing social anxiety or feelings of loneliness due to the COVID pandemic, dance can be a way of (re)building social connections and belonging. Whether you join an online dance program and invite a few friends, go to an in-person dance class, or go to a concert or dance club, dance can give temporary respite from the everyday and help lift your mood. <h2>Keen to try out dance?</h2> Here’s what to consider: <ul> <li> if you have not exercised for a while, start with a program tailored to beginners or the specific fitness level that suits you </li> <li> if you have physical injuries, check in with your GP first </li> <li> if public dance classes are unappealing, consider joining an online dance program, or going to a dance-friendly venue or concert </li> <li> to make the most of social aspect of dance, invite your friends and family to join you </li> <li> social dance classes are a better choice for meeting new people </li> <li> beginner performance dance classes will improve your physical health, dance skills and self-esteem </li> <li> most importantly, remember, it is not so much about how good your dancing is, dance is more about joy, fun and social connectedness. </li> </ul> In the words of one participant in our (yet-to-be published) research on dance and wellbeing, dance for adults is a rare gateway into fun, "there’s so much joy, there’s so much play in dancing. And play isn’t always that easy to access as an adult; and yet, it’s just such a joyful experience. I feel so happy to be able to dance." Images: Getty <em style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, 'system-ui', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;">This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/lets-dance-how-dance-classes-can-lift-your-mood-and-help-boost-your-social-life-197692" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Body

“We can let you rest now”: Devastating development in missing Nicola Bulley case

Police in the United Kingdom have confirmed that a body found in a cluster of weeds by the River Wyre has been identified as missing mother-of-two Nicola Bulley. Nicola was last seen in St Michael’s on Wyre, Lancashire, just after 9am on January 27. Her body was discovered just over a kilometre from where she disappeared. Nicola was walking her dog along the river after dropping her children off at school when she failed to return. Her mobile phone was found on a bench, still connected to a conference call for work, and her dog - a springer spaniel named Willow - was nearby. “We were called today at 11.36am to reports of a body in the River Wyre, close to Rawcliffe Road," local police reported. "An underwater search team and specialist officers have subsequently attended the scene, entered the water and have sadly recovered a body." Formal identification was required before it could be confirmed that it was Nicola's body, with police announcing the process was complete and the confirmation made at a press conference on Monday. “Sadly, we are now able to confirm that yesterday we recovered Nicola Bulley from the River Wyre,” Lancashire Police's Assistant Chief Constable Peter Lawson said. "Nicola’s family have been informed and are, of course, devastated. Our thoughts are with them at this time, as well as with all her loved ones and the wider community. "We recognise the huge impact that Nicola’s disappearance has had on her family and friends, but also on the people of St Michael’s. "We would like to thank all of those who have helped during what has been a hugely complex and highly emotional investigation. "Today’s development is not the outcome any of us would have wanted, but we hope that it can at least start to provide some answers for Nicola’s loved ones, who remain foremost in our thoughts.” Assistant Chief Constable Lawson added that the case was now being handled by HM Coroner, and that the cause of her death is being treated as unexplained. In the wake of the tragic news breaking, Nicola’s family also issued a statement and emotional tribute for their late loved one. “Finally, Nikki, you are no longer a missing person, you have been found. We can let you rest now,” they said. “We will never be able to comprehend what Nikki had gone through in her last moments and that will never leave us. “We will never forget Nikki - how could we? - she was the centre of our world, she was the one who made our lives so special and nothing will cast a shadow over that. “Our girls will get the support they need from the people who love them the most.” Images: Getty

Caring

Should you let pets sleep in your bed?

Snuggling up to your furry friend in bed is not unusual in this animal-loving country of ours, with a 2010 survey of 610 pet owners finding that 32 per cent of pets were sleeping in their owner’s bed. But the big question is should you let your pet sleep with you in bed? If you’re a poor sleeper than perhaps it’s time to evict your furry friend from the bedroom. There is growing evidence that letting your dog or cat in your bed does significantly decrease your chances of a good night’s sleep. A study by the Mayo Clinic Sleep Disorders Center found that half of the 152 pet-owning patients reported their pets disturbed their sleep in some way every night. A further 21 per cent of dog owners and seven per cent of cat owners complained that their pets snored. Another 2014 study on sleep surveyed 148 pet owners, finding that 30 percent reported waking up because of their pets at least once a night. Around two-thirds reported poor sleep quality and five per cent said they always had trouble falling to sleep after being woken up by a pet. Despite these statistics, you would be hard-pressed to convince a pet-owner to give up the snuggling presence of their beloved pet. While it’s worth considering the impact of pets in the bed for those who suffer from insomnia or poor sleep quality, for everyone else who is a sound sleeper it is perfectly fine, medically at least, to let your furry friend under the convers. The research shows that owners are comforted by their pets presence in bed – a factor that trumps all other considerations. Image: Getty Images

Family & Pets

"Let's dance!": Women let loose in support of partying PM

Women all over the world are sharing their support for Finland's partying Prime Minister by sharing videos of themselves dancing online. The Finnish PM, 36-year-old Sanna Marin, made headlines in recent weeks after leaked footage of her dancing at an event with celebrity friends went viral. The videos, which were taken as she danced with friends in two private apartments and then at a nightclub in Helsinki, have led to her being criticised and forced to denounce the use of drugs on her night out. She also was questioned about her alcohol intake on the night in question, and while she denies waking with a hangover or drinking to excess, she said she has as much right to a night out as anyone else, saying, "Everyone needs a fun and relaxed evening out." As the controversy around her party night continues, professional women around the world have been dancing in solidarity, as they stand with the Finnish PM and her right to a night off the top job. A clip shared by the Danish magazine Alt on Instagram showed several women celebrating, with some clubbing or at home to show their support for the Prime Minister. The magazine said they had "leaked" their own dancing videos online, in reference to the video of the prime minister, which was leaked last week. <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/ChcBl-LqcRH/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/ChcBl-LqcRH/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by ALT for damerne (@altfordamerne)</a> </div> </blockquote> "SYMPATHY LEAK! In solidarity with Finland's Prime Minister Sanna Marin (whose party video has been leaked, so that certain types are now questioning what one can allow themselves to do as Prime Minister)," the post's caption read. "We at ALT for the ladies' editorial office have emptied the camera roll of clips that should never have seen the light of day." "And no, you don't become a worse prime minister, director, school teacher...put in a job yourself...by firing it up on the dance floor at the weekend." Others have been posting messages of support with the hashtags #solidaritywithsanna and #istandwithsanna. Comments of support have flooded online spaces, with one woman saying, "I say ALL women across the world need to post videos of themselves dancing and partying with friends!! Let’s blow up the internet women!!" Another said, "Let’s show those with a “crotchety old men mentality” that they can stick it where the sun don’t shine!!!" Image credits: Instagram / Getty Images

Beauty & Style

"Let's do it!" How this couple came to be married mid-flight

A couple from the US have eloped onboard a Southwest flight, after their elopement in Vegas fell through. The couple from Oklahoma, Pam Patterson and Jeremy Salda, were flying from Dallas to Las Vegas to get married in a chapel on the Vegas strip. However, when their flight was cancelled, their elopement was thrown into disarray. While thinking of a plan B, the couple got talking with Chris Kilgora, who was also destined to be on their cancelled flight. When the couple told Chris of their situation, he told them that he was an ordained minister and would be happy to marry them himself. The three travellers booked flights on the next plane from Dallas to Las Vegas, and made it onto their Southwest flight with just minutes to spare. As the couple were dressed in their wedding attire, the captain began talking with Pam and Jeremy at the gate and joked about them getting married on the plane. Astonishingly, they said, "Let's do it!" The Southwest cabin crew decorated the plane with anything they could find, while air hostess Julie stepped in as Pam's maid of honour. The couple were married 37,000 feet in the air by the ordained minister in a ceremony none of the staff, or other travellers, are likely to ever forget. One traveller handed around a notepad for everyone to write their names and seat numbers as a makeshift guest book, while a professional photographer who was onboard immortalised the ceremony with offical wedding snaps. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> Pam and Jeremy were traveling on one of our competitors to elope in Vegas when their final leg from DFW to LAS was canceled. Little did they know, their luck was about to turn. 🧵 <a href="https://t.co/D1aU9452An">pic.twitter.com/D1aU9452An</a> — Southwest Airlines (@SouthwestAir) <a href="https://twitter.com/SouthwestAir/status/1520478095521857537?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 30, 2022</a></blockquote> The Southwest Airlines official Twitter page shared a series of tweets detailing Pam and Jeremy's extraordinary wedding story, which quickly went viral. "Southwest has been the love airline for nearly 51 years," Southwest wrote in a statement to CNN. "We always enjoy an opportunity to celebrate our customers in special ways." Pam and Jeremy plan to follow hold a more traditional ceremony in Mexico where they can celebrate with family and friends. Image credits: Twitter

Relationships

Cafe won’t let guests leave until they finish their work

If you struggle a lot with procrastination then the only thing left for you to do is to book a ticket to Japan and head to this one cafe. Unless you procrastinate that too, but hear us out. Manuscript Writing Cafe in Tokyo is the one-stop destination for procrastinators looking to get their work done. There are 10 workstations and people are allowed to leave ONLY when they have finished their work. And the staff will make sure you have completed your projects as they come to check in on you at least six times an hour. They also bring with them free snacks, tea, coffee, water and high-speed wifi. Once you have completed all your tasks, you are given a paper with an orange stamp and you are free to leave. The video was shared to <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@leanneinjapan/video/7095383871398694149?is_copy_url=1&is_from_webapp=v1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">TikTok</a> and has been viewed more than 624,000 times and has received around 120,000 likes with many commenting about how they need to be at the cafe all the time. “Yup, I definitely need to work there.. ah.. maybe later,” one wrote. “Kindness and torture at the same time,” someone commented. “I guess I'm bringing a sleeping bag,” another joked. “I’ll go later,” another joked about procrastinating their visit. “So essentially I'd be living there,” read another. Images: TikTok

International Travel

Stuff-up or conspiracy? Whistleblowers claim Facebook deliberately let important non-news pages go down in news blackout

On Friday, the Wall Street Journal published information from Facebook whistleblowers, alleging Facebook (which is owned by Meta) deliberately caused havoc in Australia last year <a href="https://www.wsj.com/articles/facebook-deliberately-caused-havoc-in-australia-to-influence-new-law-whistleblowers-say-11651768302">to influence the News Media Bargaining Code</a> before it was passed as law. During Facebook’s news blackout in February 2021, thousands of non-news pages were also blocked – including important emergency, health, charity and government pages. Meta has continued to argue the takedown of not-for-profit and government pages was a technical error. It remains to be seen whether the whistleblower revelations will lead to Facebook being taken to court. The effects of Facebook’s “error” The <a href="https://theconversation.com/in-a-world-first-australia-plans-to-force-facebook-and-google-to-pay-for-news-but-abc-and-sbs-miss-out-143740">News Media Bargaining Code</a> was first published in July 2020, with a goal to have Facebook and Google pay Australian news publishers for the content they provide to the platforms. It was passed by the House of Representatives (Australia’s lower house) on February 17 2021. That same day, Facebook retaliated by issuing a <a href="https://about.fb.com/news/2021/02/changes-to-sharing-and-viewing-news-on-facebook-in-australia/">statement</a> saying it would remove access to news media business pages on its platform – a threat it had first made in August 2020. It was arguably a reasonable threat of capital strike by a foreign direct investor, in respect to new regulation it regarded as “harmful” – and which it believed fundamentally “misunderstands the relationship between [its] platform and publishers who use it to share news content”. However, the range of pages blocked was extensive. Facebook has a label called the “News Page Index” which can be applied to its pages. News media pages, such as those of the ABC and SBS, are included in the index. All Australian pages on this index were taken down during Facebook’s news blackout. But Facebook also blocked access to other pages, such as the page of the satirical website <a href="https://www.betootaadvocate.com">The Betoota Advocate</a>. The broadness of Facebook’s approach was also evidenced by the blocking of its own corporate page. The <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2021/feb/18/time-to-reactivate-myspace-the-day-australia-woke-up-to-a-facebook-news-blackout">most major harm</a>, however, came from blocks to not-for-profit pages, including cancer charities, the Bureau of Meteorology and a variety of state health department pages – at a time when they were delivering crucial information about COVID-19 and vaccines. Whistleblowers emerge The whistleblower material published by the Wall Street Journal, which was also filed to the US Department of Justice and the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC), includes several email chains that show Facebook decided to implement its blocking threat through a broad strategy. The argument for its broad approach was based on an anti-avoidance clause in the News Media Bargaining Code. The effect of the clause was to ensure Facebook didn’t attempt to avoid the rules of the code by simply substituting Australian news with international news for Australian users. In other words, it would have to be all or nothing. As a consequence, Facebook did not use its News Page Index. It instead classified a domain as “news” if “60% [or] more of a domain’s content shared on Facebook is classified as news”. One product manager wrote: <blockquote> Hey everyone – the [proposed Australian law] we are responding to is extremely broad, so guidance from the policy and legal team has been to be over-inclusive and refine as we get more information. </blockquote> The blocking approach was algorithmic and based on these rules. There were some exceptions, that included not blocking “.gov” – but no such exclusion for “.gov.au”. The effect of this was the taking down of many charity and government pages. The whistleblower material makes it clear a number of Facebook employees offered solutions to the perceived overreach. This included one employee proposal that Facebook should “proactively find all the affected pages and restore them”. However, the documents show these calls were ignored. According to the Wall Street Journal: <blockquote> The whistleblower documents show Facebook did attempt to exclude government and education pages. But people familiar with Facebook’s response said some of these lists malfunctioned at rollout, while other whitelists didn’t cover enough pages to avoid widespread improper blocking. </blockquote> Amendments following the blackout Following Facebook’s news blackout, there were last-minute amendments to the draft legislation before it was passed through the Senate. The main change was that the News Media Bargaining Code would only apply to Facebook if deals were not struck with a range of key news businesses (which so far has not included SBS or <a href="https://twitter.com/ConversationEDU/status/1440562209206128653?s=20&t=FsviAWBLX7mKumr80Qiwzg">The Conversation</a>). It’s not clear whether the amendment was as a result of Facebook’s actions, or if it would have been introduced in the Senate anyway. In either case, Facebook said it was “<a href="https://about.fb.com/news/2021/02/changes-to-sharing-and-viewing-news-on-facebook-in-australia/">satisfied</a>” with the outcome, and ended its news blackout. Facebook denies the accusations The definitions of “core news content” and “news source” in the News Media Bargaining Code were reasonably narrow. So Facebook’s decision to block pages so broadly seems problematic – especially from the perspective of reputational risk. But as soon as that risk crystallised, Facebook denied intent to cause any harm. A Meta spokesperson said the removal of non-news pages was a “mistake” and “any suggestion to the contrary is categorically and obviously false”. Referring to the whistleblower documents, the spokesperson said: <blockquote> The documents in question clearly show that we intended to exempt Australian government pages from restrictions in an effort to minimise the impact of this misguided and harmful legislation. When we were unable to do so as intended due to a technical error, we apologised and worked to correct it. </blockquote> Possible legal action In the immediate aftermath of Facebook’s broad news takedown, former ACCC chair Allan Fels <a href="https://www.news.com.au/technology/online/social/facebook-could-face-lawsuits-for-unconscionable-conduct-over-nonnews-wipe-out/news-story/b312cef33b8e2261e8b5743f9bf87ca6">suggested</a> there could be a series of class actions against Facebook. His basis was that Facebook’s action was unconscionable under the <a href="http://classic.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/caca2010265/toc-sch2.html">Australian Consumer Law</a>. We have not seen these actions taken. It’s not clear whether the whistleblower material changes the likelihood of legal action against Facebook. If legal action is taken, it’s more likely to be a civil case taken by an organisation that has been harmed, rather than a criminal case. On the other hand, one reading of the material is Facebook did indeed overreach out of caution, and then reduced the scope of its blocking over a short period. Facebook suffered reputational harm as a result of its actions and apologised. However, if it engaged in similar actions in other countries, the balance between its actions being a stuff up, versus conspiracy, changes. The Wall Street Journal described Facebook’s approach as an “overly broad and sloppy process”. Such a process isn’t good practice, but done once, it’s unlikely to be criminal. On the other hand, repeating it would create a completely different set of potential liabilities and causes of action. <hr /> Disclosure: Facebook has refused to negotiate a deal with The Conversation under the News Media Bargaining Code. In response, The Conversation has called for Facebook to be “designated” by the Treasurer under the Code. This means Facebook would be forced to pay for content published by The Conversation on its platform.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/182673/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rob-nicholls-91073" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Rob Nicholls</a>, Associate professor in regulation and governance, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414" target="_blank" rel="noopener">UNSW Sydney</a> This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/stuff-up-or-conspiracy-whistleblowers-claim-facebook-deliberately-let-important-non-news-pages-go-down-in-news-blackout-182673" target="_blank" rel="noopener">original article</a>. Image: Getty Images

Technology

“I don’t let it dictate who I am”: Billy Connolly opens up on living with Parkinson’s

Billy Connolly has opened up about living with Parkinson’s in a rare interview as he prepares to receive one of the highest accolades from the British Academy of Film and Television Arts (BAFTA) at the awards next week. Connolly will be receiving the BAFTA Fellowship - which is awarded to those who have made outstanding contributions in film, games and television - at the May 8 ceremony. Speaking to <a href="https://www.bafta.org/media-centre/press-releases/sir-billy-connolly-to-be-honoured-with-bafta-fellowship-2022" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Bafta.org</a>, Connolly discussed his neurodegenerative condition and how he doesn’t let it “dictate” his day-to-day life. “It’s really important to work, to draw, to write, to walk silly for your grandchildren,” he said. “Doing the same thing you’ve always done is good for you. “I don’t let Parkinson’s dictate who I am - I just get on with it. I’ve had a very successful career and I have no regrets at all.” <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CdGDwIKDgfy/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CdGDwIKDgfy/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by BAFTA (@bafta)</a> </div> </blockquote> Connolly was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in 2013 and retired from live performances in 2018. He still continues to record projects and make TV appearances. Although his extensive filmography has earned him a slew of awards, Connolly revealed that he was never in show-business for the accolades. “I have a collection of shiny things that I’m very proud of. But I never set out to get them or hunt them down,” he said. He added that he was humbled to be receiving the award, which has previously been awarded to David Attenborough, Dawn French, and Jennifer Saunders. “I don’t believe in aiming at it because if you don’t get it for whatever reason you’re all disappointed. Just do what you do well and you’ll find yourself a fellow before you know it.” Image: @bafta (Instagram)

Caring

Let's look at Larry's luxury loft

Famed Channel 7 personality Larry Emdur, and his wife Sylvie have are parting ways with their luxurious home in Sydney's exclusive Rocks district – and it is an absolute cracker. After briefly trying to find a buyer via private appointment inspections, the New York-style warehouse conversion is coming up for auction. The vast open layout is a creation of Tanner Kibble Denton Architects, who have fused the original feel of the building with a luxury New York vibe, in a warehouse in Sydney’s Rocks precinct. Containing a two-car garage and private lift entry, the apartment has two bedrooms, each with open-style ensuites. The host of Seven’s The Chase Australia and co-host of The Morning Show is off to live in Darling Point. This follows the couple’s recent whole-floor 200sqm-plus apartment purchase off the widow of Professor Ron Penny, the pioneer of clinical immunology, who passed away in 2019. The Emdurs originally purchased The Rocks apartment in 2017 after their Dover Heights clifftop home was bought by accountant Anthony Bell for a record-breaking $11.5 million. The warehouse cost $3.09 million in the conversion of a 1924 building that was once the Sydney depot for the Cadbury confectionary company. Check it out. Images: Realestate.com.au

Real Estate

“This is too serious to let go”: Name change furore divides family

A new mother has been left fuming after finding out that her husband changed their baby’s name without her permission. The woman took to Reddit to vent her frustration and explain how she and her husband had already agreed on a name. Prior to agreeing to the name, her in-laws pressured her to name their baby son after her husband’s late brother. “After waiting for five years, I finally got pregnant with my son,” she wrote in her post. “There was so much fuss about the name choice because my in-laws wanted to use my deceased brother-in-law’s name. “My husband sided with them and insisted we go with it, but [after] seeing their obsession with it, I refused.” After suffering complications during childbirth, the new mother had to extend her stay at the hospital while her husband dealt with the papers. It was only a few weeks later when they received the birth certificate, she found that her husband had deceived her and named their son after his late brother. “When we received the birth certificate, I discovered that he put brother-in-law’s name and not the one we picked. “I lost it and had a breakdown then I shut down completely,” she said. “I stopped talking to him after telling him that I won’t speak to him until he changes the name.” She said the husband didn’t care at the beginning and even told her “good riddance” but changed his tune when she completely shut him out. “Days went by, he’s now turned to full-on begging me to speak to him over and over. “He said he had to do this otherwise his family would shun him.” Her husband tried to convince her why it was a good idea to name their son after his late brother, even giving her a paper with a list of pros. “He handed me a paper with all the ‘pros’ of keeping this name, explaining that our son will be the ‘golden grandchild’ and my in-laws will favour him over the other grandchildren because of his name.” The mother was also promised money, inheritance, a car for her newborn son but she refused to accept the name. “I don’t want my son to be my brother-in-law's surrogate,” she said. “He offered me endless nicknames, a second middle name choice but I wasn’t having it. “Eventually, he broke down crying calling me stubborn and difficult, also called me selfish, robbing our son of a good life and good future provided by his grandparents and said I was driving him crazy with my silence. “But I feel like this is too serious to let go. I’m just doing it for my son.” Image: Shutterstock

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How was Halloween invented? Once a Celtic pagan tradition, the holiday has evolved to let kids and adults try on new identities

Who let the wrong dog out? Dad's hilarious doggy daycare blunder

Woman “bullied” on plane over budget seating trick

Announcing Kate Middleton’s cancer diagnosis should have been simple. But the palace let it get out of hand

Why you shouldn’t let guilt motivate you to exercise

Pizza chain's delightfully devilish scheme lets you pay when you die

I’m a psychotherapist – here are the 5 keys to letting my stress go

Don’t let financial shame be your ruin: open conversations can help ease the burden of personal deb

"Let's not worry too much": Sam Neill's devastating diagnosis

Dame Helen Mirren lets her “radical” hair down

Let’s dance! How dance classes can lift your mood and help boost your social life

“We can let you rest now”: Devastating development in missing Nicola Bulley case

Should you let pets sleep in your bed?

"Let's dance!": Women let loose in support of partying PM

"Let's do it!" How this couple came to be married mid-flight

Cafe won’t let guests leave until they finish their work

Stuff-up or conspiracy? Whistleblowers claim Facebook deliberately let important non-news pages go down in news blackout

“I don’t let it dictate who I am”: Billy Connolly opens up on living with Parkinson’s

Let's look at Larry's luxury loft

“This is too serious to let go”: Name change furore divides family

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How was Halloween invented? Once a Celtic pagan tradition, the holiday has evolved to let kids and adults try on new identities

Who let the wrong dog out? Dad's hilarious doggy daycare blunder

Woman “bullied” on plane over budget seating trick

Announcing Kate Middleton’s cancer diagnosis should have been simple. But the palace let it get out of hand

Why you shouldn’t let guilt motivate you to exercise

Pizza chain's delightfully devilish scheme lets you pay when you die

I’m a psychotherapist – here are the 5 keys to letting my stress go

Don’t let financial shame be your ruin: open conversations can help ease the burden of personal deb

"Let's not worry too much": Sam Neill's devastating diagnosis

Dame Helen Mirren lets her “radical” hair down

Let’s dance! How dance classes can lift your mood and help boost your social life

“We can let you rest now”: Devastating development in missing Nicola Bulley case

Should you let pets sleep in your bed?

"Let's dance!": Women let loose in support of partying PM

"Let's do it!" How this ﻿couple came to be married mid-flight

Cafe won’t let guests leave until they finish their work

Stuff-up or conspiracy? Whistleblowers claim Facebook deliberately let important non-news pages go down in news blackout

“I don’t let it dictate who I am”: Billy Connolly opens up on living with Parkinson’s

Let's look at Larry's luxury loft

“This is too serious to let go”: Name change furore divides family

"Let's do it!" How this couple came to be married mid-flight