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"Mum grew great dope": Son's hilariously honest tribute goes viral

<p>Two brothers from Sydney have made headlines around the world for their hilarious tribute to their late mother. </p> <p>Sean and Chris Kelly wrote a death notice for their mum Jennifer Ann Kelly when she passed away aged 88 on Monday last week. </p> <p>“Farewell Jennie Kelly, our wild and wayward mother,”  the notice which was posted in the Sydney Morning Herald began. </p> <p>Jennifer Ann lived most of her life outside Nimbin and The Channon in northern NSW until she moved to a nursing home in Turramurra 18 months ago. </p> <p>Her sons' tribute has triggered a call for more honesty about death as they opened up about their unconventional upbringing.</p> <p>They revealed that their mum refused to say "passed" when someone died, believed exposing youth to religion was a form of child abuse, and "it was impossible to watch the news in her presence due to her vocal outrage."</p> <p>And while the two brothers had spent most of their lives "compensating for our upbringing", their mother's "rare attempts at 'responsible' parenting or grandparenting were always touching". </p> <p>They also added: “Mum grew great dope, never wanted to leave a party and gave up champagne or gin frequently, but never simultaneously.”</p> <p>“News on what’s next to follow. Bring a shovel," they ended the notice. </p> <p>Their good-humoured grief and honesty gained global attention after it was posted on Reddit. It was also included in British outlet<em> The Independent </em>and <em>US People Magazine</em>.</p> <p>“Your mum sounds phenomenal. The amazing tribute has reached thousands of people in the UK,” one Reddit user said. </p> <p>“I wish I’d known Jenny, she sounds wonderful. Thank you for a wonderful obituary – clearly Jenny lived until she died,” added another. </p> <p>Others praised their candidness, with one saying: “[It’s] honest, as opposed to all those people who suddenly become heroes/Mother Teresa when they die.”</p> <p>In an interview with <em>7NEWS</em> Sean admitted that the unconventional obituary was a first for him. </p> <p>“I’d never done a death notice, I’d never really looked at them,” he said.</p> <p>“I swear I spent less than four minutes on that.”</p> <p>He added that he wasn't even sure it would be published, and “the next thing I knew, the day after, someone said ‘I think we heard someone on the radio talking about your mother this morning’.” </p> <p>“She would say that she was mortified, but all my friends tell me she would be absolutely delighted at the attention.”</p> <p>Jennie leaves behind her two sons and three grandchildren. </p> <p><em>Images: 7News/ SMH</em></p>

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“Is it really that bad?”: New mum slammed for baby name choice

<p>One woman has taken to social media to explain her dilemma after people around her made her second-guess the name she and her husband chose for their unborn son. </p> <p>The woman shared her situation on Reddit, and explained that the name has a special family significance to her, but so far people around her have absolutely hated it. </p> <p>"My grandpa was my favourite person in the whole world. Growing up, I always loved his name because I thought it was unique and I loved him. I always said if I had a son I would name him after my grandpa," she explained in the post. </p> <p>"Now I'm pregnant, and the very few people I've told the name to HATE IT. The name is Earl. Is it really that bad?"</p> <p>She added that she doesn't want her son to grow up hating his name, but she still wants to use it as it is so special to her. </p> <p>"Few other things: husband is on board and loves it, and it does sound really nice with our last name," she added. </p> <p>Many of the commenters urged her to go with the name if she loves it and to disregard what anyone else says. </p> <p>"This. Is. Your. Baby You don't need to poll the audience or tell anyone the baby's name before he is born. Protect your peace, and Earl's," replied one person. </p> <p> "I love Earl! Easy to say and spell. Uncommon but not made up. The emotional connection is wonderful too!" commented another. </p> <p>"It's a lovely name!!! Don't let other people shame you out of using it because you'll regret listening to them later," a third person assured her. </p> <p>"Earl is dated and country but it's cute and it means something to you and you both love it. It will be fine," another woman said. </p> <p>Some suggested that if she was really struggling with the name after the hate she received, there are other ways to incorporate it. </p> <p>"It's extremely dated but not bad. I personally think it's better as a middle name," replied one person. </p> <p><em>Image: Shutterstock</em></p> <p> </p>

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Fergie's touching tribute to late mum who died in "cruel accident"

<p>Sarah Ferguson has reflected on her mother's death 26 years on. </p> <p>The Duchess of York took to Instagram to share the emotional tribute to her mother, Susan Barrantes, who died "far too young" in a car crash almost three decades ago. </p> <p>"My much-loved mother Susie died 26 years ago today," she began. </p> <p>The royal shared a series of photos of her mother, including one of them on the iconic Buckingham Palace balcony, after Fergie married Prince Andrew in 1986. </p> <p>She also posted framed photos she kept of her mother as well as professional photos that were taken when she was younger. </p> <p>"She was far too young to be taken from us and I often reflect on the fact that at just 61, she was younger than I am now when she died in a cruel accident," Ferguson continued.</p> <p>"I think constantly of her zest for life and her shining spirit. Like all of us, she made mistakes but she taught me to value each and every day and to always seek to treat people with kindness."</p> <p>She ended her post saying: "I miss her greatly."</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/DAGEaHBO_ii/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/DAGEaHBO_ii/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Sarah Ferguson (Fergie) (@sarahferguson15)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Ferguson's daughter, Princess Eugenie, reposted the images to her Instagram story, with her own message. </p> <p>"Miss beautiful Granny Susie," she wrote. </p> <p>The Duchess of York's post was met with messages of love from fans and celebrities alike. </p> <p> "So beautiful," wrote Riley Keough, Lisa Marie Presley's daughter. </p> <p>Actor William Moseley, who starred in <em>The Royals</em> television series left three red heart emojis. </p> <p>"I lost my mother seven years ago, I miss her each and every day. Sending love," wrote one fan. </p> <p>"She is incredibly proud of you, and now it’s clear where you get your kindness from. Sending continued prayers and strength your way," added another. </p> <p>Barrantes, who was a documentary filmmaker, died in a car accident in 1998. Her death came one year after Princess Diana's tragic car crash. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

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New mum admits she hates her baby’s name

<p dir="ltr">A woman has asked for advice after admitting that she hates her new baby’s name and “can’t stand to say it out loud”.</p> <p dir="ltr">The new mum took to Reddit to explain that she had given birth to a baby boy a month ago, and had been discussing potential names for her son with her boyfriend since she fell pregnant. </p> <p dir="ltr">The mother explained that her partner “immediately bombarded” her with names “that he would name” their son, and many of them were family monikers.</p> <p dir="ltr">She said that her boyfriend was keen to name the baby after either his grandfather or great-grandfather, whose names were Oliver and Chad.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I HATE the name Chad,” she said. “We know a couple of Chads and they are not great people. I also don’t love the name Oliver but I’d rather that than Chad.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The woman explained her partner was “very sentimental when it comes to anything in his life that has to do with his family”, while she was “not that sentimental”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“He was adamant on the name Chad because it belonged to his dad’s grandpa, whom his dad never met due to him passing away in the war,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I asked him to compromise and make Chad the middle name ‘cause I’d rather the name Oliver, his response was ‘maybe’ but in a tone that meant ‘no.’”</p> <p dir="ltr">The woman went on to explain that she and her partner reached a stalemate in the name discussion and it wasn’t brought up again until their son was born. </p> <p dir="ltr">The new mother said the couple planned on “waiting until she was relaxed and situated before they signed the birth certificate”, but when she went to sign it, she saw his name had been written as ‘Chad Beau Smith’ by her boyfriend. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I had had no say in the name whatsoever, my partner had seen me bare-down and drugged up, going through the hardest experience of my life and gave me no say in what we name our son,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">The woman was shocked and ended up arguing with her husband for about an hour or so but was so exhausted from the birth, she gave up and said “fine you win”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“My boyfriend then smirked as he handed the birth certificate in. I was too tired to fight anymore. I felt like I just needed to focus on taking care of my new baby,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">The mum said she has been avoiding saying his name and also hadn’t posted anything to social media because she “just hates the name”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I also now feel like I am disconnecting from my relationship with my partner because after all he watched me go through, I feel that I don’t matter,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Am I overreacting?” she asked on Reddit.</p> <p dir="ltr">The woman’s post quickly went viral on the platform, with people quick to side with the new mum. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Your boyfriend is a bully, and he sucks. Names are a two yes, one no situation. He took advantage of you, and kept calling your little boy by his middle name. I’m enraged for you.” said one.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Why are you with this person?” asked another.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Have his name legally changed. Leave your husband. This is abuse,” said a third.</p> <p dir="ltr">“This guy has no respect for you, you’re not overreacting, you’re under-reacting,” added another.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

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Susan Sarandon's daughter claps back at wedding dress critics

<p>Susan Sarandon's daughter has spoken out against body-shaming trolls who were criticising her wedding dress. </p> <p>Eva Amurri, who like her mum is also an actress, became the subject of online criticism after she shared photos from her wedding day online. </p> <p>Writing on her blog <em>Happily Eva After </em>the 39-year-old admitted that the comments left her in tears, "in a way that brought me right back to Middle School".</p> <p>"Here were people I didn't even know and who didn't know me, spending time and energy typing something that they hoped would bring me one thing and one thing only: Shame," she recalled the moment she came across the "hundreds of cruel comments". </p> <p>"It wasn't what they were saying per se, I've had much more horrible things directed at me on the internet, but it was the yucky feeling of knowing that there are people out there (and lots of them!) whose immediate reaction upon witnessing my little family's joy was to try to hurt us."</p> <p>She continued to explain that she was shocked that her wedding photos had gone viral due to something beyond her control. </p> <p>"I was so taken aback by the fact that it was already viral... and for two reasons completely out of my control: My Breasts," she wrote.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/C82pK8juxqM/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C82pK8juxqM/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by People Magazine (@people)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>"I've always been naturally very large-chested, and my breast size fluctuates with my weight (as real breasts often do)," she wrote, adding that she is a mother of three and she had breastfed all of her children. </p> <p>"Are my breasts the same perkiness they were at 20 years old before they sustained human life three times over? Definitely not. Do I care? Some days more than others. But my body isn't something I'm ashamed of."</p> <p>She then said that she chose the dress because she wanted to feel "sexy and elegant" on her special day. </p> <p>"I had purposefully gone into my wedding dress shopping wanting to show my figure and really celebrate myself as a woman - body parts included," she shared.</p> <p>"It had never occurred to me that people I don't even know would find my body so offensive, and especially that they would care so much about what I would choose to wear on my own wedding day."</p> <p>She then criticised the online trolls for their "embarrassing" behaviour and how unfortunate it was that women still experience this kind of criticism. </p> <p>"You don't need anybody's permission to make the choices you make for yourself," she wrote.</p> <p>"And when people feel something about those choices? Well, that's none of your business."</p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p> <p> </p>

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Savvy mum shares her unique packing hacks

<p dir="ltr">A savvy mother and experienced traveller has shared her ultimate hacks for packing your suitcase when heading on your next holiday. </p> <p dir="ltr">Melbourne mum Chantel Ibbotson, who goes by the name Mama Mila online, shared the helpful hacks with her 2.8 million followers, with many people praising her ingenuity.</p> <p dir="ltr">Her go-to tips ranged from keeping your luggage smelling fresh, utilising your space, and how to prevent breakages. </p> <p dir="ltr">One tip Chantel shared, that has been labelled a “game changer”, involves placing necklaces through a straw to prevent them from tangling. </p> <p dir="ltr">One follower commented on the video saying, “I used your straw tip for necklaces last time I travelled and it was awesome.”</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C81L4KYSeAA/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C81L4KYSeAA/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Chantel Mila Ibbotson (@mama_mila_au)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">The mum-of-two also showed her followers how a simple button can be used to keep pairs of earrings together by fastening each earring through one hole in the button.</p> <p dir="ltr">Chantel also recommended hanging packing cubes that can be purchased online as a great solution for “making packing and unpacking so quick and easy”.</p> <p dir="ltr">The influencer also suggested spraying perfume on cotton pads to keep your suitcase smelling fresh, as well as placing cotton pads in makeup compacts to prevent breakage.</p> <p dir="ltr">Another tip was to pack a separate bag, whether it's a plastic bag or a dust bag, to hold your dirty laundry. </p> <p dir="ltr">This tip allows travellers to easily find clean clothes while also keeping dirty, smellier clothes separate in their own bag.</p> <p dir="ltr">The video racked up thousands of views, with many saying they will try out the unique tips next time they travel. </p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Travel Tips

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"Ruined our trip": Mum shell-shocked by $130k fine

<p>A mother has been slapped with a hefty fine after her children were caught in a seemingly innocent act while on a beach holiday. </p> <p>Charlotte Russ took her five kids on a trip to Pismo Beach in California, where her children started enthusiastically collecting what they thought were ordinary seashells. </p> <p>"My kids they thought they were collecting seashells, but they were actually collecting clams, 72 to be exact,"  Russ told local news outlet <em><a href="https://abc7.com/post/fresno-woman-fined-88k-after-kids-collect-clams/14859295/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noreferrer noopener">ABC 7</a></em>.</p> <p>Clamming is highly regulated in California, meaning if you don't have a fishing license, you cannot catch the small sea creatures. </p> <p>She received a citation right there on the beach and was later notified she has to pay close to $89,000, or $133,000 AUD, for her kids' seemingly innocent treasure hunt. </p> <p>"It made me really sad and depressed, and it kind of ruined our trip," said Russ.</p> <p>Department of Fish and Wildlife's Lieutenant Matthew Gil defended the fine, saying there are rules in place for a reason. </p> <p>"The reason we got it we have these regulations is because we have to let them get to 4 and a half inches so they can spawn so they can have they can have offspring every year, and they have juvenile clams," said Lt. Gil.</p> <p>Russ said her kids have learned their lesson, saying, "They know now at the beach don't touch anything, but they know now what a clam is, compared to what a seashell is now, I've had to explain that to them."</p> <p>The mother was able to plead her case with a San Luis Obispo County Judge, who reduced her fine to $500 dollars, and after she "won" her case, Russ got a shellfish tattoo to commemorate the incident.</p> <p>"It was definitely one expensive trip to Pismo, unforgettable," said Russ.</p> <p><em>Image credits: ABC 7</em></p>

Travel Trouble

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Don’t give mum chocolates for Mother’s Day. Take on more housework, share the mental load and advocate for equality instead

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/leah-ruppanner-106371">Leah Ruppanner</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p>With Mother’s Day right around the corner, many grateful and loving families are thinking about what to give mum to show their appreciation.</p> <p>Should you give her chocolate? Nope. Fancy soaps? Nope. Fuzzy slippers, pyjamas, scented candles? No, no and no.</p> <p>On this Mother’s Day, keep your cash and give your wonderful mother gifts that will actually have a long-term impact on her health and well-being.</p> <h2>1. Do a chore that mum hates and hold onto it … forever</h2> <p>Research <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13545701.2020.1831039">shows</a> men have increased the amount of time spent on housework and childcare and that mothers, over time, are doing less (hooray!).</p> <p>But, women <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2008.00479.x">still do more housework</a> than men, especially when <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12497?fbclid=IwAR2dp04p2sFqbDqdehXmXgDSfTYwX3GRzP7ScMJhSOrMePTGQVErR2TTX88">kids are in the home</a>.</p> <p>Further, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0891243205285212">men tend to pick up the more desirable tasks</a>, like <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/3598304">cooking and playing with the kids</a>, leaving mothers to do the less pleasurable chores (think cleaning toilets and clearing out fridges).</p> <p>The chore divide in same-sex relationships is generally found to be more equal, but some critique suggests equality may suffer <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/16/upshot/same-sex-couples-divide-chores-much-more-evenly-until-they-become-parents.html">once kids are involved</a>.</p> <p>This year give your mum (or mums) the gift of equal housework and childcare sharing – start by taking the most-hated tasks and then hold onto them… forever.</p> <p><a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12727">Research</a> shows housework inequality is bad for women’s mental health. Undervaluing women’s housework and unequal sharing of the chores deteriorates <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-022-01282-5">relationship quality</a>, and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0038038516674664">leads to divorce</a>.</p> <p>Housework and childcare take up valuable time to keep the family happy, harmonious and thriving, often at the expense of mum’s health and well-being.</p> <p>So, skip the chocolates and show mum love by doing the worst, most drudgerous and constant household chores (hello, cleaning mouldy showers!) and keep doing these… forever.</p> <h2>2. Initiate a mental unload</h2> <p>The <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2017-09-14/the-mental-load-and-what-to-do-about-it/8942032">mental load</a> is all of the planning, organising and management work necessary to keep the family running.</p> <p>The mental load is often perceived as list making or allocating tasks to family members.</p> <p>But, it’s so much more – it is the <a href="https://theconversation.com/planning-stress-and-worry-put-the-mental-load-on-mothers-will-2022-be-the-year-they-share-the-burden-172599">emotional work</a> that goes with this thinking work.</p> <p>The mental load is the worry work that never ends and can be done <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13668803.2021.2002813">anywhere, anytime and with anyone</a> (in, for example, said mouldy shower).</p> <p>Because the mental load is performed inside our heads, it is invisible. That means we don’t know when we or others are performing this labour unless we really tune in.</p> <p>In fact, it is often when we tune in through quiet time, relaxation or meditation that the mental load rears its ugly head. Suddenly you remind yourself to buy oranges for the weekend soccer game, organise a family movie night and don’t forget to check in on nanna.</p> <p>Women in heterosexual relationships are <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0003122419859007">shown to do more</a> of the mental load with serious consequences for their mental health. But we don’t have a comprehensive measurement of how much women do it nor how it is allocated in same-sex couples.</p> <p>So, on this mothers’ day spend some time talking about, cataloguing, and equalising the family’s mental load.</p> <p>This isn’t just making a list about what has to be done but also understanding <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2017-09-14/the-mental-load-and-what-to-do-about-it/8942032">how the mental load</a> connects to the emotional health of the family, and the person carrying this <a href="https://www.newamerica.org/better-life-lab/blog/making-the-mental-load-visible/">invisible labour, worry and stress</a>.</p> <h2>3. Speak up for your mum and all caregivers</h2> <p>Families alone cannot bear the brunt of the caregiving necessary to keep us thriving.</p> <p>Governments, workplaces and local communities also play a critical role. For this mothers’ day, pick an issue impacting mothers (for example, equal pay, affordable childcare or paid family leave) and do one thing to help move the needle.</p> <p>Write a letter to your boss, your local MP, or donate money to an advocacy organisation advancing gender equality.</p> <p>Or, role model these behaviours yourself – normalise caregiving as a critical piece of being an effective worker, create policies and practices that support junior staff to care for themselves, their families and their communities and use these policies.</p> <p><a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0891243216649946">Research</a> shows men want to be equal carers and sharers but often fear what taking time off for caregiving will signal to their employer despite evidence that fathers who request flexible work are perceived more <a href="https://academic.oup.com/sf/article-abstract/94/4/1567/2461609?login=false">favourably</a>.</p> <p>Appearing to be singularly devoted to work was shown to be impossible during the pandemic with kids, spouses, partners, and pets home all day long.</p> <p>Learning to create more care-inclusive workplaces and communities is critical.</p> <p>Paid parental leave, affordable and accessible high-quality childcare, flexibility in how, when and where we work and greater investments in paid sick leave, long-term disability support and aged care are just a few policies that would strengthen the care safety net.</p> <p>We will all be called upon to care at some point in our lives – let’s create the environments that support caregiving for all, not just mum.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/182330/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/leah-ruppanner-106371">Leah Ruppanner</a>, Professor of Sociology and Founding Director of The Future of Work Lab, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/dont-give-mum-chocolates-for-mothers-day-take-on-more-housework-share-the-mental-load-and-advocate-for-equality-instead-182330">original article</a>.</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Nicole Kidman's daughters help celebrate mum's historic first

<p>Nicole Kidman taken to the red carpet with her family in tow for a rare appearance, as Nicole accepted a lifetime achievement award. </p> <p>The Aussie actress was joined by her husband Keith Urban and their two daughters, Sunday, 15, and Faith, 13, who were all dressed to the nines for the occasion.</p> <p>Nicole was also surrounded by her sister Antonia Kidman, brother-in-law Craig Marran and their family for the glitzy event. </p> <p>The 56-year-old actress has now become the first Australian to win the American Film Institute Lifetime Achievement Award, with the award often being dubbed the highest honour in American cinema. </p> <p>The accolade has also been won by the likes of Julie Andrews, Al Pacino, Denzel Washington, George Clooney, Meryl Streep Morgan Freeman and many other iconic figures in the industry. </p> <p>The Academy Award winner who grew up in Sydney said on social media she was "deeply moved" to receive such a prestigious award. </p> <p>"Thank you to all of you and to the American Film institute for including me in this illustrious group of honorees — now let's have some fun!" she wrote on Instagram. </p> <p>When announcing Kidman as the recipient of the award, AFI released a statement saying, "Both a powerhouse performer, spellbinding movie star and accomplished producer, Nicole Kidman has captured the imaginations of audiences throughout her prolific career, delivering complex and versatile performances on-screen."</p> <p>"She is a force both brave in her choices and bold in each performance. AFI is honoured to present her with the 49th AFI Life Achievement Award."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

Family & Pets

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The problem with shaming people for Auschwitz selfies

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/craig-wight-1514086">Craig Wight</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edinburgh-napier-university-696">Edinburgh Napier University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/phiona-stanley-1514087">Phiona Stanley</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edinburgh-napier-university-696">Edinburgh Napier University</a></em></p> <p>Selfies have become the modern day equivalent of postcards, a way to share our travel experiences with family and friends on social media. It’s one thing to strike a goofy pose and snap a photo for Instagram on a beach or town square, but what if you are visiting a Holocaust memorial site?</p> <p>Taking fun, playful, even silly selfies at <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9566811/">dark tourism</a> sites such as <a href="https://www.dazeddigital.com/life-culture/article/45182/1/chernobyl-grenfell-tower-unpacking-the-rise-of-the-dark-tourism-tragedy-selfie">Chernobyl</a> Japan’s <a href="https://www.selondoner.co.uk/life/12122023-dark-tourism-in-london">“suicide forests”</a> or concentration camps has become a regular occurrence. It is widely regarded as controversial and distasteful.</p> <p>In 2017, Israeli-German artist Shahak Shapira launched a project aimed at shaming visitors taking selfies at the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe in Germany. The project was <a href="https://yolocaust.de/">called Yolocaust</a> – a portmanteau of internet slang Yolo (you only live once) and Holocaust. It juxtaposed historical photos of Nazi murder victims with visitors’ photos of themselves, juggling and jumping, posing and playing at the Berlin memorial.</p> <p>Ever since, online vigilantes have been empowered to shame Holocaust-site selfie takers on social media. Many have used “yolocaust” in comments as shorthand for censure, judgement, and moral panic.</p> <p>We <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/02508281.2022.2153994">analysed hundreds</a> of these posts, captions and comments to see how the selfie-takers are perceived and punished by others online. We examined posts with location tags at the Auschwitz Memorial Museum in Poland and the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe in Berlin.</p> <p>Based on our analysis, we think it may be better that young people engage with Holocaust sites in their own way, rather than not engaging at all. We also suggest that some commenters may be just as guilty as the selfie-takers, using their comments to show themselves in a positive light. Paradoxically, this is precisely what they are shaming the selfie-takers for doing: centering themselves, using the Holocaust as a prop.</p> <p>Vigilantism and public shaming has been around for centuries – think angry villagers with pitchforks raised. Vigilantes take it upon themselves to prevent, investigate and punish perceived wrongdoings, usually without legal authority.</p> <p>Online vigilantes (often called “<a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/bjc/azv118">digilantes</a>”) punish others for perceived transgressions online. They act when they feel that someone has committed a crime or social wrongdoing on the internet as a form of <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2021/05/19/americans-and-cancel-culture-where-some-see-calls-for-accountability-others-see-censorship-punishment/">cancel culture</a>. There is, of course, a fine line between constructively questioning someone’s choices and publicly shaming them.</p> <h2>Who gets shamed?</h2> <p>We found that it wasn’t just any photo (we also looked at non-selfie tourist photos) that attracted online shaming. Some people were more likely to receive negative comments than others, depending on age, gender, cultural identity, photo pose, facial expression and the captions accompanying the photos.</p> <p>Younger, more conventionally attractive people – especially women, and especially people posting in English or German – attracted many negative comments. In contrast, older and less conventionally “sexy” selfie-takers, men, and those posting in, for example, Italian or Russian tended to be ignored.</p> <p>Some of these patterns appear related to how young women are often sexualised and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14680777.2018.1447345">demeaned online</a>, especially when it comes to the selfies of women holding their bodies in “model-like” poses. To some commenters, it appears more acceptable to shame those who society already deems unserious and flippant.</p> <p>Location was also important. While the Berlin Memorial saw plenty of tourist behaviour deemed “disrespectful” by commenters, it was rare to encounter selfie-taking at Auschwitz. This may because Auschwitz is a paid visitor attraction offering structured tours.</p> <p>In contrast, the Berlin memorial is an art installation, always open and part of the streetscape. Its purpose and meaning may not be immediately apparent. This leaves room for the possibility that some Holocaust-site selfie-taking is an innocent, accidental part of tourism in Berlin.</p> <p>Another predictor of negative comments was the captions on the photos we examined. If the caption was flippant or suggested a lack of serious engagement with Holocaust history and memory, the photo attracted more critical comments. Those who made some attempt to justify or even intellectualise their selfie-taking were often excused censure.</p> <p>In one example, a young woman is pictured jumping between the concrete slabs of the Berlin memorial. But her picture is accompanied by a careful caption that explicitly questions whether her behaviour is ethical.</p> <p>She writes, “One part of you comes out, simply wanting to explore the structure for what it is physically. Another part of you says that you cannot take part in anything that brings you joy here”. As the caption appears to neutralise the fun selfie, her post escapes critical comments.</p> <h2>Think before you shame</h2> <p>Although the Auschwitz Memorial Museum <a href="https://twitter.com/AuschwitzMuseum/status/1108337507660451841?lang=en">tells visitors not to take selfies</a>, and while playful selfie-taking seems disrespectful, we don’t think it should be banned, as some online commenters have called for.</p> <p>We argue that it is more important to keep alive – however clumsily and imperfectly – the memory of the more than six million Jews and <a href="https://holocausteducation.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/1.-Non-JewishVictimsOfNaziPersecutionMurder-Digital.pdf">millions of others</a> who were killed by the Nazis. Perhaps this is best done through people living their ordinary, complex, messy and often joyous lives, precisely as the Nazis’ victims could not.</p> <p>We also think it is important to question the motives of digilantes themselves. Some seem to be using their comments to display their own moral superiority, rather than trying to educate or influence the behaviour of the selfie-takers.</p> <p>Before you join the ranks of the digilantes and comment on something you think is disrespectful, think about why you’re doing it – these images, their captions and the comments show that there is often more nuance to “ethical” behaviour than can be captured in a photo.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/224304/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/craig-wight-1514086">Craig Wight</a>, Associated Professor in Tourism, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edinburgh-napier-university-696">Edinburgh Napier University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/phiona-stanley-1514087">Phiona Stanley</a>, Associate Professor of Intercultural Communications (Tourism and Languages), <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edinburgh-napier-university-696">Edinburgh Napier University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-problem-with-shaming-people-for-auschwitz-selfies-224304">original article</a>.</em></p>

International Travel

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How to look after your mental health while packing up Mum or Dad’s home

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/erika-penney-1416241">Erika Penney</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-technology-sydney-936">University of Technology Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alice-norton-1516505">Alice Norton</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/avalon-tissue-1515840">Avalon Tissue</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p>So Mum or Dad has died, or moved to aged care, and now you’ve got to pack up their house. It’s a huge job and you’re dreading it.</p> <p>It’s normal to feel grief, loss, guilt, exhaustion or even resentment at being left with this job.</p> <p>So how can you look after your mental health while tackling the task?</p> <h2>It’s OK to feel a lot of feelings</h2> <p>Research has documented how this task can exert an intense <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15267431.2021.1943399">physical and emotional toll</a>.</p> <p>This can be more intense for those who had strained – or even <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/epub/10.1177/0030222819868107">traumatic</a> – relationships with the person whose house they’re packing up.</p> <p>Decisions around distributing or discarding items can, in some families, bring up painful reminders of the past or end up <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1074840711428451">replaying strained dynamics</a>.</p> <p>Family members who were carers for the deceased may feel exhaustion, overwhelm, <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/hec.1512?sid=vendor%3Adatabase">burnout</a> or a sense of injustice they must now continue to be responsible for their loved one’s affairs. Grief can be compounded by the practical challenges of deciding how to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/0148-2963(94)00054-I">store or discard belongings</a>, <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/30000385">arrange the funeral</a>, execute the will, deal with the aged care place or, in some cases, navigate legal disputes.</p> <p>But packing up the house may also be cathartic or helpful. <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15267431.2021.1943399">Research</a> has shown how the task of cleaning out a loved one’s belongings can provide an opportunity for family and friends to talk, share memories, and make sense of what has just happened.</p> <p>It’s also normal to grieve before someone dies. What psychologists call “<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29206700/">anticipatory</a> grief” can happen to <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1615888/">relatives packing up the house</a> of a parent who has moved to aged care or palliative care.</p> <h2>What to do with all this stuff?</h2> <p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/0148-2963(94)00054-I">Some</a> treat their loved one’s items with sanctity, holding onto as many of their belongings as possible and creating “shrines” in their honour.</p> <p>Others alleviate the weight of grief by clearing out a loved one’s house as soon as possible, giving away, selling or discarding as much as they can.</p> <p>But if you experience a mix of these – enthusiastically getting rid of some stuff, while desperately wanting to hold onto other things – that’s OK too.</p> <p>One <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10253866.2017.1367677">study</a> identified a process punctuated by four key periods:</p> <ol> <li> <p>numbness and overwhelm at the task of packing the house</p> </li> <li> <p>yearning to maintain a link to the loved through their belongings</p> </li> <li> <p>working through grief, anger and guilt regarding the loved one and the task of managing their belongings, and</p> </li> <li> <p>healing and making sense of the relationship with the deceased and their belongings.</p> </li> </ol> <p>However, it is important to note everyone’s approach is different and there is no “right” way to do the clean out, or “right” way to feel.</p> <h2>Caring for your mental health during the clean out</h2> <p>To care for your mental health during these difficult times, you might try to:</p> <ul> <li> <p>make space for your feelings, whether it’s sadness, loss, resentment, anger, relief or all the above. There is no right or wrong way to feel. <a href="https://guilfordjournals.com/doi/abs/10.1521/jscp.2011.30.2.163">Accepting</a> your emotions is healthier than suppressing them</p> </li> <li> <p>share the load. <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1046/j.1365-2648.1999.01220.x">Research</a> has shown practical support from close friends and family can help a lot with grief. Accept help with packing, planning, dealing with removalists, selling or donating items and cleaning. Don’t be afraid to reduce your mental load by delegating tasks to friends, who are likely wondering how they can help</p> </li> <li> <p>take a systematic approach. Break tasks into their smallest component. For example, aim to clean out a drawer instead of an entire bedroom. This can help the mental and physical task feel more manageable</p> </li> <li> <p>reflect on what’s meaningful to you. Some belongings will have <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/0148-2963(94)00054-I">meaning</a>, while others will not. What was valuable to the deceased may not be valuable to you. Things they probably saw as pretty worthless (a handwritten shopping list, an old sewing kit) may be very meaningful to you. Ask yourself whether retaining a small number of meaningful possessions would allow you to maintain a connection with your loved one, or if clearing out the space and discarding the items is what you need</p> </li> <li> <p>share your story. When you feel ready, share your “<a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15267431.2021.1943399">cleaning out the closet</a>” story with trusted friends and family. Storytelling allows the deceased to live on in memory. <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1046/j.1365-2648.1999.01220.x">Research</a> also suggests we cope better with bereavement when friends and relatives make time to hear our feelings</p> </li> <li> <p>remember that professional help is available. Just as a solicitor can help with legal disputes, a mental health professional can help you process your feelings.</p> </li> </ul> <p>The home of your loved one is not merely a place where they lived, but a space filled with meaning and stories.</p> <p>Packing up the house of a loved one can be incredibly daunting and challenging, but it can also be an important part of your grieving process.</p> <p><em>If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.</em><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223956/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/erika-penney-1416241">E<em>rika Penney</em></a><em>, Lecturer in Clinical Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-technology-sydney-936">University of Technology Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alice-norton-1516505">Alice Norton</a>, Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/avalon-tissue-1515840">Avalon Tissue</a>, Associate Lecturer in Clinical Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-look-after-your-mental-health-while-packing-up-mum-or-dads-home-223956">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

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"I almost cried": Mum shocked by stranger's random act of kindness

<p>A mother-of-two has almost been reduced to tears by a stranger's random act of kindness in a busy cafe. </p> <p>The mum, a woman named Tyne, was at a cafe in the Sunshine Coast suburb of Mooloolaba with her husband and two young sons, when she struck up a conversation with a woman reading a book nearby. </p> <p>She said she felt a wave of guilt that her rowdy children were disrupting the woman's peaceful morning, and leaned over to apologise. </p> <p>The woman assured the mother there was nothing to apologise for, with the woman's next act leaving the mum speechless. </p> <p>“A beautiful (and full on) weekend away with Mr 3.5y &amp; Mr 1.5y my husband and I sat with coffees at a beautiful cafe waiting for breakfast for us,” Tyne wrote in a Facebook group called The Kindness Pandemic, where people share stories of their heartwarming interactions with strangers. </p> <p>“I immediately apologised to the lovely lady sitting near us as she had a book and I was afraid the boys wouldn’t be too peaceful." </p> <p>“We were chatting for a little and then she left after her breakfast.”</p> <p>When the mum went to pay for her family’s bill, the cashier informed her that the stranger had “taken care of it” and handed her a heartwarming note.</p> <p>“It was such a pleasure sharing my brekkie space with you,” the note read.</p> <p>“Please keep doing what you’re doing. You’ve got a beautiful family.”</p> <p>Tyne said she “almost cried” when she realised that the stranger had paid for her family’s entire breakfast.</p> <p>The cafe was situated close to one of the Sunshine Coast’s most popular attractions, Sea Life Aquarium, where the family had planned to spend their day.</p> <p>“Hopefully you can splurge a little more at Sea Life today,” the stranger added in the note, before signing off, “Love Em.”</p> <p>The mum said she was overwhelmed by the stranger’s incredible act of kindness, saying she "almost cried".</p> <p>“She paid for us … And her kind words were what I needed to hear.”</p> <p>Tyne said the stranger was an “amazing soul” and vowed to pay it forward”.</p> <p>“If you are Em staying in Mooloolaba for work and went to a quirky local that’s your favourite … YOU ARE AN AMAZING SOUL!” she said.</p> <p>People in the comments also shared their reactions to the heartfelt gesture.</p> <p>“Lovely lady. Your children would be being just that, children. Don’t apologise about them,” one wrote.</p> <p>“What a beautiful person Em clearly is. This was so gorgeous to read.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Facebook</em></p>

Family & Pets

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“It’s not personal”: New mum shares divisive list of rules

<p dir="ltr">An expecting mum has divided opinions with an extensive list of strict rules her family and friends must follow if they want to meet her new baby. </p> <p dir="ltr">KIIS FM hosts Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O read out the list live on air, as they debated the rules and regulations put in place by the pregnant woman. </p> <p dir="ltr">The rules included not touching the baby, being vaccinated and only going to see the child if you've been asked, with the hosts asking listeners if they thought the rules were “too strict” or “reasonable”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“We're drawing closer to the birth of our daughter, and we couldn't be more excited, but unfortunately we have to implement some boundaries. We hope you can respect our wishes and no one takes these personally,” the mum's announcement read.</p> <p dir="ltr">First, the mum declared that there will be no information about the baby put online, including photos and information of the child’s name, or even an announcement that she had given birth. </p> <p dir="ltr">“If we want you to know, you'll know,” the mum outlined. </p> <p dir="ltr">Next, she said that only those who have “checked in” with the expecting parents since the announcement of the pregnancy will be notified of the birth. </p> <p dir="ltr">The mum took a brutal swing at anyone else she hasn't heard from and wrote, “Otherwise we have taken your silence as not being interested in our friendship and it is also reciprocated.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The couple went on to add that for the first two weeks following the birth, they will not be having any visitors. </p> <p dir="ltr">“No exceptions, no texts, no calls,” the mum wrote in capital letters, further explaining that no visitors will be welcome at either the hospital or at home. </p> <p dir="ltr">The couple also expect those who want to meet the baby to be vaccinated. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Don't be offended if we ask for proof. We will not be putting her health at risk,” the point read. </p> <p dir="ltr">The mum also asked visitors to “not smell of cigarettes or wear cologne or perfume that is too strong when meeting the baby”. </p> <p dir="ltr">Lastly, if family or friends visit the couple at home they will need to bring their own snacks and drinks.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Please do not expect to be hosted. Mum will probably be tired,” the list read. </p> <p dir="ltr">After sharing a video on TikTok, some mentioned the number one parenting rule of all: “their baby, their rules”. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Not a single one of those rules is unreasonable,” one person commented online. </p> <p dir="ltr">“The people triggered over this are the type of people these boundaries are intended for,” another added. </p> <p dir="ltr">However, others deemed the list as “passive aggressive”.  </p> <p dir="ltr">“Yeah right, nice knowing ya,” one wrote, while another said, “I hope she knows what she's doing.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Mum's list of chores for babysitter divides internet

<p>An American mum and schoolteacher has divided social media after she shared a list of chores that her 17-year-old babysitter could do for extra cash. </p> <p>Katrina Ivan hired a former student, who is now a senior in high school, to babysit her two-year-old son.</p> <p>The busy mum, who had been struggling to maintain her home, left an optional list of chores the babysitter could do for some extra cash. </p> <p>“You are more than welcome to hang out and watch TV but if you want to earn some extra cash these are up for grabs,” the note read.</p> <p>She claimed that her son was already asleep when the babysitter arrived at 7:30pm and she would be looking after him until 11:30pm.</p> <p>The babysitter was being paid $115.45 for the four hours of work.</p> <p>The extra chores included organising the kitchen island, which would earn the student $15, as would cleaning the windows and mirrors in the house and sweeping and mopping the kitchen floor.</p> <p>Cleaning out the fridge would earn the her $23, while vacuuming the couch would earn her $4.</p> <p>A few other optional chores included re-organising the toys, organising the kitchen island, and re-organising the silverware, which were all chores that would earn the student $15. </p> <p>The babysitter earned an extra $92 for the chores she chose, and a few social media users have said that this was a great idea. </p> <p> “I wish they did this when I was a babysitter. Would have loved the opportunity to earn extra," one wrote.</p> <p>“This is a great idea!! Sometimes it’s boring to just to sit and watch TV, this makes time go by quicker and sometimes it’s things I would do to help," another said. </p> <p>“I think since it’s optional or not you can give whatever amounts. It’s still the babysitters choice whether to do it or not,” a third added. </p> <p>However a few others weren't as impressed. </p> <p>“Those are 1990 prices,” one social media user wrote. </p> <p>“$23 for the fridge that’s wild," another added. </p> <p>“I think if you mention it ahead of time ‘oh I left a chore list if you’re interested in any of them it’s extra cash for you!’ Because if I just arrived to this note I might be a little uncomfortable,” a third said. </p> <p><em>Images: TikTok</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Mum slammed for being "stingy" after refusing to buy $2 snack for daughter's playdate

<p>A mum has come under fire for being "selfish" and "stingy" after refusing to buy a $2 snack for her 11-year-old daughter’s best friend.</p> <p>The woman, believed to be from the US, and her daughter Ellie were invited for a playdate at an indoor playground with 12-year-old Sophie and her mum.</p> <p>Sophie's mum offered to put them on her membership card so that Ellie and her mum could go to the indoor playground for free. </p> <p>“Sophie’s mum called me... and Sophie wanted to know if Ellie could come and play," she began in a Reddit thread called <em>Am I the a****** .</em></p> <p>"She offered to put me on her membership card so it would be free for me so I got Ellie in the car and we met them at the playground.” </p> <p>Trouble started when the girls got hungry after an hour of playing, and Ellie's mum only packed a snack for her daughter. </p> <p>“Sophie’s mum didn’t have any snacks on her,” she said.</p> <p>“I told her they sell snacks in the front but she claimed that she didn’t have any money on her and asked me to buy Sophie some Goldfish."</p> <p>Ellie's mum agreed to grab the crackers on one condition - Sophie's mum had to transfer the money to her. </p> <p>“She says she paid for my kid to get in so I could cover the $2 for the Goldfish. I said no, I took care of my kid and it’s not my job to take care of hers too.</p> <p>“I told her if she wanted me to bring snacks she should’ve told me when she invited me but I won’t be wasting $2 for a 50 cent bag of Goldfish because she was unprepared.”</p> <p>She added that Sophie's mum eventually managed to get snacks for her own daughter, and wondered "if she lied about not having money".</p> <p>She then accused Sophie's mum of being "petty" for asking her to pay back for “all the times” she's used her membership to get a guest pass at the indoor playground, adding that "they regularly pay for us to join them on outings.”</p> <p>Her post was met with over 2500 comments slamming her for being “selfish”, “stingy” and “ungrateful”.</p> <p>“You were invited to a place for free that you would otherwise have had to pay for. You only packed snacks for your child? Why didn’t you also take snacks for the other child?" one wrote. </p> <p>“Yes, you did not have to do so, and that child is not your responsibility, but if I was meeting someone for a playdate for my child, not paying to get in, knowing, at some point both girls were going to be hungry, I would have packed snacks for both, as a thank you for the invitation and just because," the commenter continued. </p> <p>“If someone asked me to transfer them $2, I’m rolling my eyes big time. It’s petty, especially when someone gave you something likely far more valuable," another added. </p> <p>“Seriously. I don’t even think I could tell a stranger no when it comes to feeding their hungry child, much less a person I know and spend time with," a third commented. </p> <p>Others called the mum a "fool", for potentially causing Ellie to lose her best friend.</p> <p>“Don’t be an idiot. Apologise. You might care about 50 cents. But your daughter will lose her best friend. And that is worth a lot more. Your daughter might never get a friend like that... And the fact that universe gift wrapped a friend for your daughter. And you choose to throw it in the trash. Wow, you are truly a fool," they said. </p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Oprah's weight-loss backflip: "I'm done with the shame"

<p>Oprah Winfrey has become one of the first A-list celebrities to openly admit that she has resorted to using weight loss medication after months of speculation, according to <em>Page Six</em>. </p> <p>“I now use it as I feel I need it, as a tool to manage not yo-yoing,” she told <em>People Magazine</em>. </p> <p>“The fact that there’s a medically approved prescription for managing weight and staying healthier, in my lifetime, feels like relief, like redemption, like a gift, and not something to hide behind and once again be ridiculed for.”</p> <p>The 69-year-old added, “I’m absolutely done with the shaming from other people and particularly myself.”</p> <p>This reversal comes after the actress rocked a <a href="https://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/body/slimmed-down-oprah-addresses-ozempic-rumours" target="_blank" rel="noopener">slimmed down look</a> at the premiere for the reboot of <em>The Color Purple </em>last week. </p> <p>She had previously denied using weight loss drugs in an episode of<em> Oprah Daily’s The Life You Want: The State of Weight, </em>where she said turning to weight loss medication is "the easy way out.”</p> <p>Although she did not disclose exactly which drug she took, or whether it was the celebrity favourite Type II diabetes medication Ozempic, the media mogul revealed the reason why she had a change of heart. </p> <p>She told <em>People Magazine</em> that she became more open to using a pharmaceutical after conducting a panel discussion with medical experts in July.</p> <p>“I had the biggest ‘aha’ along with many people in that audience,” she said. </p> <p>“I realised I’d been blaming myself all these years for being overweight, and I have a predisposition that no amount of willpower is going to control.”</p> <p>She also shared the success she has had with the unnamed medication, claiming that she gained only half a pound “instead of gaining eight pounds like [she] did last year,” after Thanksgiving. </p> <p>Winfrey added that ultimately it wasn't about the number on the scale but “it was a second shot for me to live a more vital and vibrant life.”</p> <p>The O Magazine founder also said that the medication were just a larger part of her health and fitness regimen, which includes hiking. </p> <p>“I know everybody thought I was on it, but I worked so damn hard. I know that if I’m not also working out and vigilant about all the other things, it doesn’t work for me.”</p> <p><em>Images: </em><em>Arturo Holmes/The Hollywood Reporter via Getty Images</em></p> <p> </p>

Body

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“If you’re reading this, it means I have passed away”: Young mum announces own death

<p>Casey McIntyre, 38, has announced her own death in a heartbreaking post shared on Instagram. </p> <p>The mother-of-one from New York, passed away after a battle with stage four ovarian cancer on November 12. </p> <p>Casey's death was announced on Tuesday via <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CzmnPArO37i/?img_index=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">a post</a> that she had penned before her passing, which was shared by her husband Andrew. </p> <p>The post showed a carousel of images highlighting special moments of Casey's life, including her childhood, their wedding and a few photos with their 18-month old daughter. </p> <p>The statement began: "A note to my friends: if you’re reading this it means I have passed away. I'm so sorry, it's horses*** and we both know it." </p> <p>"The cause was a recurrence of my previously diagnosed stage four ovarian cancer.</p> <p>"I loved each and every one of you with my whole heart and I promise you, I knew how deeply I was loved.</p> <p>"The five months in home hospice that I got to spend with my family and friends in Virginia, Rhode Island, and New York were magical." </p> <p>Tragically, Casey did not have the chance to finish her post, with her husband adding a tribute to his wife in an "editors note" which read: </p> <p>"Casey meant to finish this post with a list of things that were a comfort &amp; a joy to her during her life, and I am heartbroken that I will never see that list.</p> <p>"As she grew sicker, she couldn’t finish it," he explained. </p> <p>"I imagine it would’ve included our daughter Grace, whales, ice cream, her beloved friends, being at the beach, her niece and nephews she incorrigibly doted on, reading 10 books on a weeklong vacation, her beloved parents and sister and their amazing extended family, swimming, a perfect roast beef sandwich, and me, her sweet, sweet honey.</p> <p>"Oh Casey! I don't know how we will do it without you but we will," he ended the tribute, before asking loved ones to share "a note that was a comfort or joy" that they shared with Casey. </p> <p>He also shared details of Casey's memorial service and revealed his wife's last act of kindness, where she hoped to "celebrate" her life by setting up a <a href="https://ripmedicaldebt.org/campaign/andrewrosegregory-47569/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">fundraiser</a> to help pay off others' medical debt. </p> <p>"We will celebrate her life by anonymously purchasing medical debt and then anonymously forgiving it, hopefully with a bonfire if they will let us," Andrew wrote. </p> <p>As of today, $47,343 out of their $50,000 goal has been raised in honour of Casey. </p> <p>Tributes have poured in from loved ones in the comment section of her post. </p> <p>"Casey, in April 2019 on a phone call, you dreamed such big dreams for a book I didn’t yet believe in. They all came true. Your authors and colleagues were so lucky to have your humour, wit and light," wrote one friend.</p> <p>"You have left a beautiful legacy and you will be deeply missed. All my love to your family and your beautiful baby Grace. ❤️" </p> <p>"Casey you were so funny and sharp and beautiful and that light that shone through your eyes lit up the world," wrote another. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

Caring

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"Shame on you!" Robert De Niro's courtroom outburst

<p>Robert De Niro has lost his temper in court, as his former assistant accused him of being abusive. </p> <p>The Oscar-winning actor is being sued by Graham Chase Robinson, who worked as his assistant from 2008 until several months into 2019, for millions of dollars after claiming he was abusive when they worked together. </p> <p>Robinson, 41, seeks $US12 million (approximately AUD$18 million) in damages for emotional distress and harm to her reputation, that she claims has left her jobless and unable to recover from the trauma of working for De Niro.</p> <p>The jury is also considering evidence pertaining to a lawsuit De Niro filed against Robinson in which he claimed that she stole things from him, including five million points that could be used for airline flights.</p> <p>De Niro is countersuing his former employee, seeking the return of three years of Robinson's salary.</p> <p>Robinson's attorney Andrew Macurdy interrogated the actor over some of his questionable behaviour, including allegations that he spoke to Robinson while he was urinating, and claims that he called her a "b***h" to her face.</p> <p>De Niro admitted that while he "got angry" at his former assistant, he was "never abusive".</p> <p>Growing frustrated with the line of questioning, he exclaimed, "You got us all here for this?" </p> <p>Eventually, he angrily looked toward Robinson and shouted, "Shame on you, Chase Robinson!"</p> <p>De Niro was also asked by Macurdy if he he sued Robinson before she sued him because he wanted publicity.</p> <p>"It draws attention to me. It's the last thing I wanted to do," De Niro said.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Legal

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Dawn French hits back at "shameful" weight loss comments

<p>Dawn French has hit back at hurtful comments about her drastic weight loss almost a decade ago, admitting she "never rejected" the size she was. </p> <p>In 2014, the British comedian and actress dropped over 45kg after undergoing a hysterectomy following a terrifying cancer scare. </p> <p>The dramatic weight loss came after French's surgeon said she would heal better from the procedure if she lost weight. </p> <p>At the time, dozens of articles were written about French's transformation, praising her weight loss. </p> <p>Now, the 65-year-old has taken umbrage with the comments, telling <a href="https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/id-never-felt-so-ugly-how-dawn-french-learnt-to-love-her-flaws-3z95kc823" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>The Times</em></a> how unfair it is that women are in the public eye are often “reduced” to descriptions of their appearance.</p> <p>“I have never rejected the bigger woman I have been. Lots of people do it and say, ‘Oh, you look so much better – now you look well.’ And I think, ‘F*** off! Don’t judge that other person who I loved,’” she said.</p> <p>“[British singer] Alison Moyet is a very good friend and so often she has been reduced to descriptions of her physicality.”</p> <p>“She’s this giant talent, why reduce her to that? I’m not taking any s*** from anyone about any of it,” she said.</p> <p>French went on to reflect on the early days of her career, which began in the late 1980s alongside Jennifer Saunders. </p> <p>Despite the success of their BBC show <em>French and Saunders</em>, they were often described by how they looked, something she says “never” happened to their male colleagues.</p> <p>“For many years Jennifer [Saunders] and I were always described by how we looked, especially me, because I was the bigger one.”</p> <p>“It was always about ‘running to fat’ or ‘plump’, and they never said that about any of the male comedians.”</p> <p>“I absolutely own whatever my size is and I will call myself whatever I want. But if I feel like the intent is to shame me, I will not have it,” French said.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Body

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Richie and Gemma McCaw shame barefoot passenger on flight

<p>All Blacks star Richie McCaw and his Olympian wife Gemma have shared their displeasure after an inconsiderate passenger invaded their personal space on a flight to the Rugby World Cup in France. </p> <p>The couple - who were seated in economy class - were travelling with their young daughters Charlotte, 4, Grace, 2, and five-month-old Ella, when Gemma shared the video on Instagram. </p> <p>"Lovely pedi colour but I think I'll have to put my foot down for this one," she captioned the Instagram story, as she panned to reveal the strangers barefoot on her daughter's armrest.</p> <p>From across the aisle, Richie can be seen shaking his head in disgust. </p> <p>In the next update, the Olympian showed her eldest daughter Charlotte writing a polite message for the stranger. </p> <p>"Please put your foot down," the four-year-old wrote. </p> <p>"I don't want to put my foot in it so Charlotte thought of trying this approach," Gemma captioned the story. </p> <p>A few hours later Gemma revealed that the issue had been solved after a flight attendant stepped in. </p> <p>"Update on the foot gate: hostess stepped in and asked her to kindly remove her foot from the seat. All is well."</p> <p>Fans were quick to back the star, in an earlier post of the McCaw family at the airport. </p> <p>"Please tell that guy resting his bare foot on the arm of your daughters seat to bugger off and to put on some socks and to remove his foot from that personal space," wrote one fan. </p> <p>"Give that disgusting foot a shove after your daughter has drawn all over it," another commented. </p> <p>"Off to watch some footie," quipped a third with a foot emoji. </p> <p>"I hope you said something to the foot person, that is disgusting!!!" wrote a fourth. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

Travel Trouble