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How can I stop using food to cope with negative emotions?

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/inge-gnatt-1425767">Inge Gnatt</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/swinburne-university-of-technology-767">Swinburne University of Technology</a> Have you ever noticed changes in your eating habits when you are sad, bored or anxious? Many people report eating either more, or less, as a way of helping them to cope when they experience difficult emotions. Although this is a very normal response, it can take the pleasure out of eating, and can become distressing and bring about other feelings of <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.eatbeh.2018.02.008">shame and self-criticism</a>. Adding to the complexity of it all, we live in a world where <a href="https://butterfly.org.au/diet-culture-101/">diet culture</a> is unavoidable, and our relationship to eating, food and body image can become complicated and confusing. <h2>Emotional eating is common</h2> “Emotional eating” refers to the eating behaviours (typically eating more) that occur in response to difficult emotions. <a href="https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18041744">Research shows</a> around 20% of people regularly engage in emotional eating, with a higher prevalence <a href="https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0285446">among adolescents</a> and women. In a <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0285446#sec012">study</a> of more than 1,500 adolescents, 34% engaged in emotional eating while sad and 40% did so while anxious. Foods consumed are often fast-foods and other energy-dense, nutrient-poor convenience foods. <h2>Stress, strong emotions and depression</h2> For some people, emotional eating was simply a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-017-09519-0">habit formed earlier in life</a> that has persisted over time. But other factors might also contribute to the likelihood of emotional eating. The physiological effects of stress and strong emotions, for example, can influence hormones such as <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/S0306-4530(00)00035-4">cortisol, insulin and glucose</a>, which can also increase appetite. Increased impulsivity (<a href="https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.158.11.1783">behaving</a> before thinking things through), vulnerability to depression, a tendency to ruminate and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/1047840X.2014.940781">difficulties regulating emotions</a> also <a href="https://doi.org/10.1097/FBP.0b013e328357bd4e">increase the likelihood</a> of emotional eating. <h2>So what do you do?</h2> First, know that fluctuations in eating are normal. However, if you find that the way you eat in response to difficult emotions is not working for you, there are a few things you can do. Starting with small things that are achievable but can have a huge impact, such as prioritising <a href="https://theconversation.com/no-sleep-challenge-the-dangers-of-sleep-deprivation-236608">getting enough sleep</a> and <a href="https://insideoutinstitute.org.au/podcasts/episode-3-the-mindful-dietitian-fiona-sutherland">eating regularly</a>. Then, you can start to think about how you handle your emotions and hunger cues. <h2>Expand your emotional awareness</h2> Often we label emotions as good or bad, and this can result in fear, avoidance, and <a href="https://youtu.be/NDQ1Mi5I4rg?si=lv9d8qjUThSsemXG">unhelpful coping strategies</a> such as emotional eating. But it’s also important to <a href="https://www.pspnet.ca/assets/the-gottman-institute-the-feeling-wheel-v2.pdf">differentiate</a> the exact emotion. This might be feeling isolated, powerless or victimised, rather than something as broad as sad. By <a href="https://headspace.org.au/online-and-phone-support/interactive-tools/activities/understanding-emotions/">noticing</a> what the emotion is, we can bring curiosity to what it means, how we feel in our minds and bodies, and how we think and behave in response. <h2>Tap into your feelings of hunger and fullness</h2> Developing an intuitive way of eating is another helpful strategy to promote <a href="https://insideoutinstitute.org.au/blog/what-is-normal-eating">healthy eating behaviours</a>. Intuitive eating means recognising, understanding and responding to internal signals of hunger and fullness. This might mean tuning in to and acknowledging physical hunger cues, responding by eating food that is nourishing and enjoyable, and identifying sensations of fullness. Intuitive eating <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/eat.23509">encourages flexibility</a> and thinking about the pleasure we get from food and eating. This style of eating also allows us to enjoy eating out with friends, and sample local delicacies when travelling. It can also reduce the psychological distress from feeling out of control with your <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jand.2013.12.024">eating</a> habits and the associated negative <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2015.10.012">body image</a>. <h2>When is it time to seek help?</h2> For some people, the thoughts and behaviours relating to food, eating and body image can negatively impact their life. Having the support of friends and family, accessing <a href="https://nedc.com.au/eating-disorder-resources/interactive-digital-resource-for-eating-disorders">online resources</a> and, in some instances, seeing a trained professional, can be very helpful. There are many <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s00787-020-01498-4">therapeutic interventions</a> that work to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2015.02.010">improve aspects</a> associated with emotional eating. These will depend on your situation, needs, stage of life and other factors, such as whether you are <a href="https://nedc.com.au/eating-disorders/types/neurodivergence">neurodivergent</a>. The best approach is to engage with someone who can bring compassion and understanding to your personal situation, and work with you collaboratively. This work might include: <ul> <li>unpacking some of the patterns that could be underlying these emotions, thoughts and behaviours</li> <li>helping you to discover your emotions</li> <li>supporting you to process other experiences, such as trauma exposure</li> <li>developing a more flexible and intuitive way of eating.</li> </ul> One of the dangers that can occur in response to emotional eating is the temptation to diet, which can lead to disordered eating, and eating disorder behaviours. Indicators of a potential <a href="https://nedc.com.au/eating-disorders/eating-disorders-explained/whats-an-eating-disorder">eating disorder</a> can include: <ul> <li>recent rapid weight loss</li> <li>preoccupation with weight and shape (which is usually in contrast to other people’s perceptions)</li> <li>eating large amounts of food within a short space of time (two hours or less) and feeling a sense of loss of control</li> <li>eating in secret</li> <li>compensating for food eaten (with vomiting, exercise or laxatives).</li> </ul> <a href="https://nedc.com.au/eating-disorders/treatment-and-recovery/treatment-options">Evidence-based approaches</a> can support people experiencing eating disorders. To find a health professional who is informed and specialises in this area, search the <a href="https://butterfly.org.au/get-support/butterflys-referral-database/">Butterfly Foundation’s expert database</a>. <hr /> If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call Lifeline on 13 11 14, or the <a href="https://butterfly.org.au/get-support/helpline/">Butterfly Foundation</a> on 1800 ED HOPE (1800 33 4673).<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/238218/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/inge-gnatt-1425767">Inge Gnatt</a>, PhD Candidate, Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/swinburne-university-of-technology-767">Swinburne University of Technology</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-can-i-stop-using-food-to-cope-with-negative-emotions-238218">original article</a>.

Body

Does language work to make the world a happier place?

In fiction, Pollyanna was a young girl who tried to cheer everybody up by urging them to look on the bright side of life. It turns out she was simply encouraging a natural human tendency. Recent research published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, shows that human language has a “universal positivity bias”. The idea that we humans are essentially a positive bunch is not new. In 1978 psychologists Margaret Matlin and David Stang found that people tended to remember positive experiences more vividly than sad or painful ones. They dubbed their finding “the Pollyanna principle”. But the latest research suggests language itself helps create that frame of mind. Peter Dodds and Chris Danforth at the Computational Story Lab at the University of Vermont led the research that looked at the most commonly used words in English, Spanish, French, German, Brazilian, Portuguese, Korean, Chinese, Russian, Indonesian and Arabic. Native speakers from each language were asked to rate their responses to about 10,000 words on a nine-point scale (one being the saddest and nine the happiest). A computer program then analysed the rated words as they appeared on social media, in web searches, The New York Times, Google books (including Melville’s Moby Dick, Dumas’s The Count of Monte Cristo and Dostoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment) and film scripts. Their analysis found that, to quote the old song, humans naturally tend to accentuate the positive, although there are slight cultural variations. Spanish speakers in Mexico and Portuguese speakers in Brazil were found to be the most positive overall, while the Chinese were at the dour end of the spectrum, or, as the academics put it, the “most constrained”. English speakers were the third most positive in the group. <blockquote> The hedonometer found a dip in happiness in France after the Charlie Hebdo terror attack, and a spike in Mexican happiness over the Christmas holidays. </blockquote> The latest research builds on work begun in 2009, when the same team constructed <a rel="noopener" href="http://hedonometer.org/about.html" target="_blank">a hedonometer</a>, an online instrument that its creators claim can “measure the happiness of large populations in real time”. It chiefly does this by analysing the number of positive words in Twitter feeds. Recently the hedonometer found a dip in happiness in France after the Charlie Hebdo terror attack, and a spike in Mexican happiness over the Christmas holidays. The current research “takes a similar sort of idea and looks at the (emotional) temperature of a large body of work,” says Lewis Mitchell, a mathematician at the University of Adelaide who worked on the hedonometer and also took part in the latest research. He says it shows we are “inherently positive creatures” – although whether our language is the cause is hard to say. But what excites him most about the research is that it gives mathematicians the opportunity to apply their skills to areas that were once the domain of linguists, psychologists and social scientists. Mitchell says the analysis of big data gives mathematicians the opportunity “to measure what was previously unmeasurable”. It also raises intriguing questions about how we frame the stories we share about the human experience. For his part in the language project, Mitchell downloaded 1,000 English language film scripts from the internet to see if he could devise a simple algorithm by which it might be possible to identify the emotional signatures of basic story types. The idea isn’t new. Literary theorists, psychologists and script-writing manuals have all argued that human stories follow predictable patterns. An inspiration for Mitchell’s story research was a brief talk by the US author Kurt Vonnegut on the shapes of stories, in which the author draws a graph of the biggest story of all, which he summarises as “man falls in a hole”. Bad or unexpected events can overtake our protagonist, but experience and resilience can redeem him (he climbs out of the hole). Which brings us back to the positivity bias in language. The big story sees man falling into a hole as an opportunity – a set up that calls forth the adventure and happy ending. Professor Hugh Craig, the director of the Centre for Linguistic and Literary Computing at the University of Newcastle says the research is “impressive” and “something quite new”. “When you start to think about it, it does make a lot of sense,” he says. “When you ask people how they are, they tend to say ‘fine’ rather than ‘terrible’ … people do get rewarded for being optimistic and positive.”  <img id="cosmos-post-tracker" style="opacity: 0; height: 1px!important; width: 1px!important; border: 0!important; position: absolute!important; z-index: -1!important;" src="https://syndication.cosmosmagazine.com/?id=6348&title=Does+language+work+to+make+the+world+a+happier+place%3F" alt="" width="1" height="1" />  <div id="contributors"> <a rel="noopener" href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/people/social-sciences/does-language-work-to-make-the-world-a-happier-place/" target="_blank">This article</a> was originally published on <a rel="noopener" href="https://cosmosmagazine.com" target="_blank">Cosmos Magazine</a> and was written by <a rel="noopener" href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/contributor/katherine-kizilos" target="_blank">Katherine Kizilos</a>. Katherine Kizilos is a staff writer at Cosmos. Image: Getty Images </div>

Mind

Losing speech after a stroke can negatively affect mental health – but therapy can provide hope

Around <a href="https://www.nejm.org/doi/10.1056/NEJMoa1804492">25% of adults</a> will have a stroke in their lifetime. And <a href="https://www.archives-pmr.org/article/S0003-9993(16)30041-7/fulltext">around one-third</a> of stroke survivors will be left with damage to the part of their brain that decodes and organises language – leaving them with a disability known as <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/02687038.2020.1852003">aphasia</a>. Aphasia can affect speaking and understanding as well as reading and writing abilities, but does not affect intelligence. It can vary in severity from getting a few words mixed up, to being unable to say any words. Aphasia can be a difficult and frustrating disability to live with, and can disrupt many aspects of a person’s life – including relationships, holding down a job, and social activities. As such, depression is common, affecting an <a href="https://www.karger.com/Article/Abstract/16107">estimated two-thirds</a> of people with aphasia. Yet many people with aphasia <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/02687038.2019.1673304">struggle to access</a> the psychological support they need – psychological therapies, or “talk therapies”, can feel inaccessible to someone with a language disability. <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/10497323211020290">Our research</a> explored how psychological therapy could be made to work for people with aphasia. Working with speech and language therapists, mental health professionals and stroke survivors, we adapted a form of psychological therapy so that it was accessible for people with aphasia. We found that this form of therapy was valued by people with aphasia, and could make a positive difference in their lives. Accessible therapy The therapy that we delivered to our research participants was adapted from a form of psychological therapy called “<a href="https://www.taylorfrancis.com/books/mono/10.4324/9780203116562/solution-focused-brief-therapy-harvey-ratner-evan-george-chris-iveson">solution-focused brief therapy</a>”. This form of therapy supports a person in building meaningful change in their everyday lives. It invites people to describe their hopes for the future, and explores their skills, talents and resources to support them in when adapting to their new circumstances. It also gives them a chance to discuss their experiences and thoughts. Thirty people with post-stroke aphasia received the therapy in our study. Fourteen of our participants had severe aphasia, while 16 had milder aphasia. They were all at least six months post-stroke – and some were as many as 12 years post-stroke. Participants were offered up to six therapy sessions, each of about an hour, spaced over three months. The therapy was delivered by speech and language therapists who had received specific training and supervision from experts in solution-focused brief therapy. To make the therapy accessible, we made sure that the therapists worked closely with participants to help them communicate their thoughts and feelings, using whatever method they could – so as well as talking, participants communicated through drawing, gestures, pictures, objects, mime, or writing key words. Although their intelligence was not affected, many participants found it harder to understand language when spoken rapidly. To support participants’ understanding, therapists used simpler language, slowed their pace of speech and supported communication visually such as by writing key words, or using gestures or pictures. Above all, the therapists gave people time – time to express their thoughts and time to process what the therapist was saying. <img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/406699/original/file-20210616-3629-1d6qq4s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" alt="A young man reads a book with an elderly woman." /> Participants communicated using whatever method they could. <a href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/young-male-nurse-spending-time-elder-300626726" class="source">Photographee.eu/ Shutterstock</a> Therapists encouraged participants to describe what “living well” with their aphasia meant to them. They invited participants to notice small signs of progress and share their successes and achievements with the therapist. These could be seemingly small events, such as making porridge with one hand for the first time, and also profound conversations around how they experienced aphasia, their early times in hospital, or describing the process of recovery and adjusting to their stroke. The therapists invited them to notice their own skills and the resources that they had drawn on, and how they could use these to help them continue to adjust to their new circumstances. Our participants agreed that the therapy worked well for people with aphasia – and that it was important for them (and others with aphasia) to have access to psychological support if needed. Many valued being able to talk about their hopes and achievements, and share how they found living with stroke and aphasia. They also valued the companionship and connection they felt with their therapist. Many participants also described experiencing positive changes in their life after attending therapy – including having the confidence to start using the phone again, doing things they used to do such as cooking dinner, or starting a volunteer role. For some, it gave them courage, and let them feel more like themselves again. Our research shows that even people with a severe language disability can benefit from this therapy when it is adapted specifically for them. A challenge is ensuring that mental health professionals and speech and language therapists have the training, skills and confidence to provide appropriate psychological support for people with aphasia. There are around <a href="https://www.stroke.org.uk/what-is-aphasia/aphasia-and-its-effects">350,000 people</a> living with aphasia in the UK. Yet <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/1460-6984.12204">public awareness</a> of the condition remains low, making it a poorly understood and often lonely disability to live with. If we give people with aphasia the time to express themselves – noticing and valuing them as people, and not just seeing their disability – it can make a real difference in improving their lives. <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sarah-northcott-1227983">Sarah Northcott</a>, Senior Lecturer in Speech and Language Therapy, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/city-university-of-london-1047">City, University of London</a> This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/losing-speech-after-a-stroke-can-negatively-affect-mental-health-but-therapy-can-provide-hope-160581">original article</a>.

Mind

Cashing out for happiness: Why you should outsource "negative" household chores

According to a Harvard professor, outsourcing “negative” experiences, such as laundry or mowing the lawn can result in more happiness. Ashley Whillans, who researches time-money trade-offs says that more people would be happier if they spent more of their money to “buy themselves out of negative experiences”. She spoke to the <a href="https://hbr.org/ideacast/2019/01/use-your-money-to-buy-happier-time">Harvard Business Review’s IdeaCast podcast</a> and explained the idea in more detail. “We really like to flip Benjamin Franklin’s adage on its head and say, ‘Well, if time is money, maybe also we can think that money can buy a happier time’,” she said. “Any way that we spend money in a way that might save us time — such as also buying ourselves into positive experiences — has reliable and positive effects on the happiness that we get from our days, our weeks, our months and our lives.” However, Whillans has said that we need “retraining” in order to be comfortable with strangers helping them out. “I find in my studies that people feel really guilty about outsourcing even though they’re giving up money to have more time that they’ve earned … People feel guilty about burdening other people with their tasks.” Whilst it might be tempting to outsource every chore you dislike, it can end up with negative consequences. Whillans noticed that people who outsource too much “experienced the lowest levels of happiness, in part probably because … they feel like their life must be so out of control if they can’t even do one load of laundry on the weekend”. People on the lowest incomes also benefit more from time saving purchases. Whillans explained: “What we think is going on there is that people who are materially constrained also tend to be time-poor,” she said. “They might be working multiple jobs, they might be a single parent. They might have to commute really far away because the only place that they could live is somewhere that’s quite far away from where they work.” Do you outsource your chores? Let us know in the comments.

Money & Banking

Aussie baker hits back at customer's negative review: "$6 croissant is a joke"

An Aussie bakery has defended its AU$6 (NZ$6.3) croissants against a negative review. When a customer took to social media to complain about the croissants from bakery Flour and Stone, founder Nadine Ingram responded with a thorough explanation. On Sunday, a customer wrote on the business’s Facebook page about her less than impressive experience. "Not the best croissants I have eaten. They're too buttery. 6 dollars [for] the croissant is a joke." Ingram replied with a long statement, which she shared on Facebook and Instagram, to justify why the item is priced so high. "It's true $6 is a lot for a croissant and you're not the only one to raise an eyebrow or two at the price increase," Ingram wrote. "The $6 croissant pays for the training, the ingredients, the purpose." <iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fpermalink.php%3Fstory_fbid%3D2127585853988397%26id%3D191275080952827&width=500" width="500" height="664" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" allow="encrypted-media"></iframe> She explained that the price increase was to facilitate pay rises and training for her staff. "I allocate 3 training shifts a week just on croissant for the bakers in my team because they said that’s what they want to learn," she wrote. “In addition I have a career mentor program where my staff go and spend the day with one of my peers making coffee, cheese, bread or chocolates. Flour and Stone pays for this and I add, this type of scheme is almost unheard of in hospitality. It’s my purpose.” She also said the use of quality materials for the baked goods, such as Pepe Saya butter and Country Valley milk, also influences the price. She also mentioned her refusal to reduce the number of employees on her payroll. "Did you know there are manufacturers out there getting creative about avoiding payroll tax (a privilege I will have for the first time this year) by investing in machines and reducing their workforce? I’m not going to do this! Because I don't believe this is a sustainable way for Australia to move forward." Many of the bakery’s fans have applauded Ingram’s response. "Excellent response. I would rather pay $6 for a great croissant than $2-$5 for a crap one," commented one user on Instagram. "It's a tough gig running a bakery and people just don't understand the price of ingredients from paddock to plate, adding on wages, electricity... and so many more," another chimed in. However, some customers also came in defense of the reviewer. "It's totally out of line to berate a customer personally with feedback in this condescending manner. [The reviewer] is entitled to leave an honest review of their experience with your product," a Facebook user replied. "I don't think it's reasonable to expect everyone to know what goes in to making the highest quality croissants (or what Pepe Saya butter is)," another customer wrote on Instagram. "A lot of people don’t grow up being able to access high quality produce. So it's great to teach people about what does go into producing your amazing and high quality products, but I don't think it's a good idea to undermine people who don't know." Ingram told <a rel="noopener" href="https://kitchen.nine.com.au/2019/02/11/15/41/six-dollar-croissant-bakery-flour-and-stone-outrage" target="_blank">9Honey Kitchen</a> she did not expect her posts to stir up an outrage. "I went to a hospitality symposium before Christmas and listened to a lot of people in the industry who are hurting every day. People who are trying to keep prices low but maintain their integrity,” she said. "I made this flippant remark at the end that there should be a revolution to change the way people perceive food to be produced." What do you think of the baker's explanation on her $6 croissants? Share your thoughts in the comments.

News

Fish and chips shop owner’s hilarious responses to negative online reviews

Most of the time, a negative review can be a real downer for business owners – but one fish and chips shop owner decided to use his quick wit to respond to the unsatisfied customers in the most hilarious fashion. The Bunker fish and chip shop in the English seaside village of Seahouses is known by many as the best chip shop in the entire village. But while business is booming, co-owner Rod White tends to receive the odd negative comment here and there via TripAdvisor and Google, and always determined, Mr White has fired back with his own responses. His witty comments have garnered popularity, with Mr White now having fans of his own – and some, visiting the chip shop to meet the man for themselves. <img width="496" height="165" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7820202/eb009eeeb2a9ea8e573469a065617fa4_496x165.jpg" alt="Eb 009eeeb 2a 9ea 8e 573469a 065617fa4"/> <img width="498" height="245" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7820203/931e43bbf77bce64732f4d6d9681d798_498x245.jpg" alt="931e 43bbf 77bce 64732f 4d 6d 9681d 798"/> One review complained about the lack of gluten-free options, and that the fish was covered in grease, to which Mr White responded: “Your comments are duly noted sir and from now on we shall be frying our fish and chips in daffodil extract. “Once cooked, the fish will spend 5 minutes in a tumble drier, while at the same time, staff member X will be blow drying the chips, with one of those Dyson hair dryers, you know the one that doesn’t even look like a hair dryer? until there is no sign of grease whatsoever. “Then, and only then, will the plate of Atlantic cod and Northumbrian chipped potatoes be presented to our customers.” One customer complained about the price for chips and mushy peas, to which Mr White responded: “We take note that you and your nine friends won’t be visiting here in the future and will take this into account when preparing next year’s budget forecasts.” Another complained about the long wait for his food, and that the chips were “greasy and soft”, the fish “dry” and the portions “miserably small”. To which Mr White issued a lengthy response, where he offered a chip colour chart for his servers to consult. He wrote: “Each customer will be asked when placing their order, exactly what shade of chip they’d prefer. After pointing to a chip chart at the back of the shop, our fryer can then leave each separate customer’s chips in frying, until they reach their particular favourite shade. “That way, there’ll be no worry that customers, like your good self sir, will be going away with chips of the wrong hue. Absolutely brilliant, even if I say so myself. “So, let me thank you again for taking time out of your busy schedule to moan in length about the catastrophe that happened in your day. “I hope you’ve managed to calm down now, got a good night’s sleep, and can get on with the rest of your disaster-filled life without too much worry. Anyway, must dash, got a chip chart to prepare.” Mr White, who co-owns the business with his brother-in-law, doesn’t have an explanation as to why he signs his responses with “Lionel Blair” or “Montgomery Applegate” but has said that the comments are a result of “exasperation". “You deal with hundreds of people a day and you cannot please everybody,” he said.

Food & Wine

4 negative habits you really need to give up

Just like your physical health, your mental health can be greatly influenced by your everyday habits. Avoiding eating junk food should help with some weight issues; giving up cigarettes will reduce your risk of cancer; going for a brisk walk daily will combat heart disease. If we examine our mental states with the same analytic eye, there are many bad habits we are all guilty of, and they can each be adversely affecting our mental wellness. If you notice yourself doing any of these, try your best to curb the habit and reap the rewards. 1. Feeling guilty Believe it or not, there are <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201208/the-definitive-guide-guilt" target="_blank">many different kinds of guilt</a>, but <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201509/6-mental-habits-will-wear-you-down" target="_blank">research</a> tells us that the only good kind of guilt is the one relating to “something harmful that you did”. This particular kind of guilt is helpful in teaching us how to be better people – how not to lie to someone, or not to intentionally hurt another, and how to make amends when we slip up. But with the good comes the bad, and there are other kinds of guilt that you should banish from your mind. These include feeling guilty for being more successful in your relationships or finances that those around you, feeling jealous of someone close to you (but not acting upon those thoughts), not doing enough to help others. 2. Not forgiving others Many people see forgiveness as an act of selfless generosity towards someone who has wronged you. But that’s not quite right. A better way to think about forgiveness is allowing yourself to let go of the resentment you feel when you’ve been wronged, and actively <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/forgiveness" target="_blank">choosing to move on from that feeling</a>. It truly is an act of letting go and moving forward for the sake of yourself – not the other party. It’s helpful to remember that when you forgive someone, you’re not saying that the way the other person acted is acceptable, or that what they did doesn’t matter. It simply “<a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/friendship-20/201603/9-mental-habits-can-make-you-feel-bitter" target="_blank">allows you to be no longer hurt by them.</a>” The act of forgiveness is credited with stress reduction, lower rates of depression, and better self-esteem. 3. Focusing on regret Like guilt, there are different kinds of regret. This negative mental or emotional state comes from blaming oneself for a bad outcome, wishing for the power to undo a previous choice, or feeling loss for what might have been. The helpful kind of regret can help us move forward in a healthy way – moving on from behaviours that are hurtful to ourselves or others. The less healthy form comes when we have no power to change the situation. Constantly focusing on regret can release chemicals like adrenalin into your body – which can be stressful for your physical and mental health. Instead of focusing on regret, try to concentrate on the here and now. Do your best to turn a nagging regret into the good kind that helps you move forward in the best way for your own wellbeing. 4. Not feeling gratitude Dr Andrea Bonior Ph.D. writes, “<a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/friendship-20/201603/9-mental-habits-can-make-you-feel-bitter">being grateful for things big and small</a> brings big changes to your mental health.” Gratitude is the act of focusing on acknowledging and feeling thankful for the good moments you experience – no matter how small. Focusing on the interesting scenery or wonderful sunset instead of your frustration at heavy traffic can shift your focus away from negative thoughts to positive ones. <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/friendship-20/201603/9-mental-habits-can-make-you-feel-bitter" target="_blank">Practicing gratitude</a> is linked with lessened depression, greater heart health, and improved immune system functioning.<a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/friendship-20/201603/9-mental-habits-can-make-you-feel-bitter)"> </a> Do you agree? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Mind

Why we dwell on the negative and how to stop

You’re more likely to remember more clearly the times when you felt unhappy compared to the happy times. That’s because these negative moments are processed in the brain in a different way to happy times, which is why we can remember them in such detail. Think about your time at work – there’s a good chance you can recall huge amounts of detail from the time your boss hit you with some criticism, or when you had a bad performance review, rather than the positive feedback you got after securing a deal or delivering a project on budget. The reason for dwelling on the negatives could be that they give us a chance to learn from our mistakes, and do better in the future. But if analysing past mistakes is taking up too much brain space, and you are struggling under the weight of regret, try some of our tips for moving on. See the past for what it is If you’re thinking constantly about something that happened, it might be time to let it go. If you can’t go back and change it, at least learn from it and don’t make the same mistakes next time. Find something else to think about If you let yourself wallow in self-pity for too long there’s a good chance you won’t get much else done. Now could be the time to find another way to fill the quiet moments in your life. Sport, fitness, art, photography – there are loads of ways to keep yourself busy. Think about what advice you’d give a friend Often it’s very difficult to be objective with ourselves. But think about the issue and decide what advice you would give if your friend came to you with the same issue. Thinking like this can help you to look at both sides of the story. Know that change is possible It’s easy to beat yourself up or think that you are doomed to failure. But simply having the courage to try again can be enough to pull you out of the depths of negative thought. Acknowledge the timeline It takes time to get over past hurts or negative experiences. It’s not about putting it all behind you, rather it’s about knowing that it could take time to bounce back, and that’s OK. Focus on the things that you can control, and just keep moving forward. Have you got any tips for moving on from negative thoughts? We would love to hear from you in the comments. Related links: <a href="/health/mind/2016/06/overcoming-pain-using-the-power-of-the-mind/">Overcoming pain using the power of the mind</a> <a href="/health/mind/2016/06/trick-to-make-you-a-morning-person/">The 4 tricks guaranteed to make you a morning person</a> <a href="/health/mind/2016/06/extraordinarily-simple-ways-to-be-happy/">5 extraordinarily simple ways to be happy</a>

Mind

New research links Alzheimer's risk with negative thoughts about ageing

How you feel about ageing could influence your risk against Alzheimer’s, according to recent research. A study by Yale University found a link between negative thoughts on ageing and an increased risk of developing Alzheimer’s. The findings, published in the journal of Psychology and Aging, analysed data from the Baltimore Longitudinal Study of Ageing, where 158 healthy people were asked to rate their agreement with statements like “older people are absent-minded” or “older people have trouble learning new things”. The participants answered the questions in their 40s and 25 years later underwent annual MRIs for a decade. Researchers found the people who believed in negative age stereotypes had “significantly steeper decline” in their hippocampal volume – the brain region which is associated with Alzheimer’s disease – than their peers who were more age-positive. People who believed ageist stereotypes showed the same amount of decline in three years as their age-positive group in nine years. In the first study to look at the link between ageist stereotypes and age-related diseases, the researchers noted there was no conclusive proof that negative thoughts on ageing impacted the decline, but speculated the stress could be a reason. “We believe it is the stress generated by the negative beliefs about ageing that individuals sometimes internalise from society that can result in pathological brain changes,” Becca Levy, a lead researcher from the Yale School of Public Health, said in a statement. “Although the findings are concerning, it is encouraging to realize that these negative beliefs about aging can be mitigated and positive beliefs about aging can be reinforced, so that the adverse impact is not inevitable,” Levy said. Related links: <a href="/health/mind/2016/01/holistic-ways-to-promote-good-vibes/">10 ways to bring good vibes in your life</a> <a href="/health/mind/2016/01/quotes-about-self-improvement/">Inspiring quotes from the world’s most successful people</a> <a href="/health/mind/2015/12/questions-to-work-out-what-makes-you-happy/">10 questions to work out what really make you happy</a>

Mind

Negative feelings can affect hearing

A recent study has revealed that older adults who have negative feelings toward ageing are less likely to perform well in hearing tests due to confidence issues. The study, led by the University of Toronto in Canada, explored the associations among three variables in the same group of older adults: views on aging, self-perceptions about one's hearing and memory ability, and one's actual performance in those skills. Published in the journal Psychology and Aging, it involved 301 older participants aged from 56 to 96 who completed a series of tests on hearing and memory, and who also underwent assessments of their views and potential concerns about getting older. The participants were asked to listen to and repeat a list of five words straight away, and then recall them again after a wait of five minutes. To assess participants' perception about their own hearing and memory abilities, the researchers asked them to respond to a series of questions and statements. For example, whether they agreed or disagreed with statements like: "I am good at remembering names," or "I can easily have a conversation on the phone." The participants were also asked to rate their level of concern about being able to find contentment, being alone as they aged or about losing their independence, or being more forgetful as they got older. When they analysed the results, the team found that participants who had negative views about aging – and who believed they had problems with their hearing and memory - also performed less well on tests of those abilities. First author Alison Chasteen says "People's feelings about getting older influence their sensory and cognitive functions. Those feelings are often rooted in stereotypes about getting older and comments made by those around them that their hearing and memory are failing." Professor Chasteen also suggested that older adult could benefit from learning how to proactively change their ageing experience. This can be done through hearing, memory and physical exercises and casting off stereotypes of ageing. Related links: <a href="/health/hearing/2015/12/audio-illusions-asapscience-video/"></a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/hearing/2015/12/audio-illusions-asapscience-video/">Can you trust your ears?</a> <a href="/health/hearing/2015/12/audio-illusions-asapscience-video/"></a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/hearing/2016/01/childhood-illnesses-linked-to-hearing-loss-later-in-life/">Childhood illnesses linked to hearing loss</a> <a href="/health/hearing/2015/12/audio-illusions-asapscience-video/"></a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/hearing/2016/02/best-online-hearing-tests/">3 best online hearing tests</a>

Hearing

7 ways to banish negative thoughts

If you find yourself getting caught up in thoughts about “what if” or “if only” these can become negative thought patterns that can lead to depression and anxiety. Although it’s common to have negative thoughts sometimes, if you regularly focus on them it can stop you from enjoying your life. So if you’re interested in turning your thoughts in a more positive direction, you can follow our ideas below to reduce the negative thoughts that could be holding you back from your true potential. 1. Observe the negative ideas First of all you need to work out when you are having these negative thoughts in order to get them out of your head. Some common ones that you might have include the idea that everything is black or white with no middle ground; taking on the blame when things go wrong, even when things are not necessarily your fault; focusing only on the negatives in any situation without seeing the positive side; and always assuming that the worst is going to happen. 2. Take action against negative thoughts Once you notice these types of thoughts creeping in, try to think objectively so that you don’t get caught up in a negative spiral. What advice would you offer a friend who came to you with the same thoughts? More than likely you would give her a logical answer like “there’s no need to blame yourself for things that are out of your control.” You can apply this to your own situation and think of other reasons why things have not turned out the way you had planned. 3. Limit the thoughts Often it is difficult to just stop the negative thought altogether. Instead, allow yourself a five-minute session with it before you take a break from dwelling on it and get on with your day. 4. Be kind to yourself It’s easy to feel down in the dumps when we compare ourselves to other people or some unattainable goal. Notice when you are doing this, and give yourself a break. You are human after all. Try to think of a positive quality when you are caught up in the negatives, as this can help you see from another point of view. 5. Be thankful for what you do have Even when you are going through a difficult time, there are usually still parts of your life that you can be grateful for. Gratitude can give your mood a real boost, and if you write it down you can even refer back to your notes later for a quick lift. 6. Write down your good points It’s too easy to get caught up in what you aren’t happy with about your life. By making a list of your strengths and talents you can help to kick those negative thoughts out of your mind. Plus you can refer back to it when you need a boost. 7. Ask for help If you find that your thoughts are holding you back from what you need to do each day it might be time to source some professional support. Taking part in counselling or joining a support group can help to reduce the anxiety that you feel and allow you to make a positive action plan for the future.

Mind

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