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Why sending a belated gift is not as bad as you probably think − and late is better than never

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rebecca-walker-reczek-232584">Rebecca Walker Reczek</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-ohio-state-university-759">The Ohio State University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/cory-haltman-2240693">Cory Haltman</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-ohio-state-university-759">The Ohio State University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/grant-donnelly-1250966">Grant Donnelly</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-ohio-state-university-759">The Ohio State University</a></em></p> <p>If finding the right present and making sure the recipient gets it on time leaves you feeling anxious, you’re not alone. More than half of Americans say <a href="https://www.lendingtree.com/credit-cards/study/holiday-gift-stressors/">that gift-giving stresses them out</a>.</p> <p>Concerns about on-time delivery are so common that people share holiday <a href="https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/living/story/christmas-shipping-deadlines-2024-74159960">deadlines for each shipping service</a>. And in the event that you can’t meet these deadlines, there are now handy <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/home/package-delays-christmas-gifts-etiquette/2020/12/23/578a369e-43a5-11eb-b0e4-0f182923a025_story.html">etiquette guides</a> offering advice for how to inform the recipient.</p> <p>If you’ve sent late gifts thanks to <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2020/12/15/postal-service-holiday-packages-delays/">shipping delays</a>, <a href="https://nymag.com/strategist/article/top-gifts-to-buy-before-they-sell-out-2022.html">depleted stocks</a> or even good old-fashioned <a href="https://wwd.com/feature/last-minute-holiday-shopping-survey-reveal-curious-consumer-trends-1234684998/">procrastination</a>, our new research may offer some welcome news.</p> <p>In a series of studies that will soon be published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology, we found that people overestimate the negative consequences of sending a late gift.</p> <h2>Trying to follow norms</h2> <p>Why do people tend to overestimate these consequences? Our findings indicate that when people give presents, they pay more attention <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/jcpy.1318">to norms about gifting</a> than the recipients do.</p> <p>For example, other researchers have found that people tend to be reluctant to give <a href="https://doi.org/10.1348/014466604X23428">used products as presents</a> because there’s a norm that gifts should be new. In reality, though, many people are often open to receiving used stuff.</p> <p>We found that this mismatch also applies to beliefs about the importance of timing. Many people worry that a late gift will signal that they don’t care about the recipient. They then fear their relationship will suffer.</p> <p>In reality, though, these fears are largely unfounded. Gift recipients are much less worried about when the gift arrives.</p> <p>Unfortunately, aside from causing unnecessary worry, being overly sensitive about giving a late present can also influence the gift you choose to buy.</p> <h2>Compensating for lateness</h2> <p>To test how lateness concerns affect gift choice, we conducted an online study before Mother’s Day in 2021. We had 201 adults participate in a raffle. They could choose to send their mother either a cheaper gift basket that would arrive in time for the occasion or a more expensive one that would arrive late.</p> <p>Concerns about lateness led nearly 70% of the participants to choose the less expensive and more prompt option.</p> <p>In another study, we conducted the same kind of raffle for Father’s Day and got similar results.</p> <p>Aside from finding that people will choose inferior items to ensure speedier delivery, we also found that givers may feel that they can compensate for lateness with effort.</p> <p>In another online study of 805 adults, we discovered that participants were less likely to expect a late delivery to damage a relationship if they signaled their care for the recipient in a different way. For example, they believed that putting an item together by hand, versus purchasing it preassembled, could compensate for a present being belated.</p> <h2>Better late than never?</h2> <p>If sending something late isn’t as bad as expected, you may wonder whether it’s OK to simply not send anything at all.</p> <p>We’d caution against going that route.</p> <p>In another online study of 903 participants, we found that recipients believed that not receiving anything at all was more likely to harm a relationship than receiving something as much as two months late.</p> <p>That is, late is better than never as far as those receiving gifts are concerned.</p> <p>You may want to keep that in mind, even if that new <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/dec/19/game-over-why-santa-may-struggle-to-bring-you-that-ps5-xbox-or-ipad">gaming console</a>, <a href="https://variety.com/2020/biz/news/baby-yoda-animatronic-toy-sold-out-hasbro-1203510368/">action figure</a> or <a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2019/12/24/oculus-quest-headsets-sold-out-into-february/2742443001/">virtual reality headset</a> is sold out this holiday season. It could still be a welcome surprise if it arrives in January or February.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/244012/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rebecca-walker-reczek-232584"><em>Rebecca Walker Reczek</em></a><em>, Professor of Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-ohio-state-university-759">The Ohio State University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/cory-haltman-2240693">Cory Haltman</a>, Ph.D. Candidate in Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-ohio-state-university-759">The Ohio State University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/grant-donnelly-1250966">Grant Donnelly</a>, Assistant Professor of Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-ohio-state-university-759">The Ohio State University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-sending-a-belated-gift-is-not-as-bad-as-you-probably-think-and-late-is-better-than-never-244012">original article</a>.</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Readers response: What's one song that never fails to make you cry?

<p>We asked our readers what song always fills them with emotion, whether because of the lyrics or being associated with a heartfelt memory. Here's what they said.</p> <p><strong>Kathryn Sands</strong> - Dance with my Father by Luther Vandross.</p> <p><strong>Carol Hanson</strong> - Amazing Grace. Was played on the bagpipes at my mum's funeral.</p> <p><strong>Matthew Walter</strong> - Probably "When You Kiss Me" by Shania Twain, as it's the song my wife walked down the aisle to on our wedding day. The other one would be "What I Never Knew I Always Wanted" by Carrie Underwood, which played after my son was born. Just sums up parenthood perfectly!</p> <p><strong>Patricia Sundin</strong> - “I was only 19”. Makes me think of all my friends who were conscripted to go to fight in Vietnam. Not a happy time.</p> <p><strong>Janette Willis</strong> - What a Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong. </p> <p><strong>Trish Watts </strong>- If Tomorrow Never Comes by Garth Brooks.</p> <p><strong>Jan Palmer</strong> - Imagine by John Lennon. </p> <p><strong>Adelle Ellmers</strong> - Sounds of Silence cover by Disturbed. Played at my husband's funeral. It was one of his favourites.</p> <p><strong>Gay Sharran Gold</strong> - At Last…. I have to turn it off when it plays. My daughter married her partner two days before she died and had that playing for their song.</p> <p><strong>Heather Widjaja</strong> - Monsters by James Blunt. Always reminds me of the last days of my Dad's life.</p> <p><strong>Jeanette Heaton</strong> - Forever Young by Bob Dylan. Reminds me of my beloved - lost too soon.</p> <p><strong>Laraine Hughes</strong> - Because by Mario Lanza. Walked down the aisle and played at my beloved husband's funeral. Started and ended our life together.</p> <p><strong>Rhonda Leaman</strong> - Somewhere Over The Rainbow from The Wizard of Oz. </p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Music

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Never-before-seen party photo of Kate Middleton surfaces

<p>A previously unseen photo of Kate Middleton has been posted to social media by one of her old university friends. </p> <p>Laura Warshaur - who was in the same halls as the royal - shared the photo to <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C9lQ1A0P2QQ/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Instagram</a> and reminisced their "lovely" college years together at St Andrews. </p> <p>She captioned the photo: “Sending love to Kate Middleton, the future Queen of England and my university dormmate!</p> <p>“This was us at a Hope Street flat party. I have the loveliest college memories with Kate.</p> <p>“She is the kindest, most caring, down-to-earth, genuine person, and it’s incredible to see her shining so brightly and inspiring the world with her compassion and courage.”</p> <p>The Princess of Wales was snapped wearing a cream turtleneck jumper with minimal makeup and her natural curls flowing. </p> <p>The picture taken at a flat party on Hope Street, was also where the Prince and Princess of Wales lived in their second year, according to <em>The Sun. </em></p> <p>In the photo the Princess and Laura smiled for the camera as they held up brownie bites. </p> <p>Laura shared the photo on her Instagram a while back to show support for the Princess of Wales as she continued her cancer treatment. </p> <p>The image caught the attention of royal fans this week, who took to comments to share their delight. </p> <p>“Neither of you has changed much, so gorgeous. So happy to see her out and about again with that big smile,” commented one user.</p> <p> “How sweet your tribute to her back when she was diagnosed. And how beautiful you both are in this picture," added another. </p> <p>“No way, most unexpected duo EVER," commented a third. </p> <p>Laura, who has since lost touch with the royal couple, previously revealed that all their friends rooted for the royal couple and believed that they would end up together. </p> <p><em>Image: Instagram</em></p> <p> </p>

Beauty & Style

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Cruise passengers share why you never leave your cabin balcony door open

<p>A couple on a cruise ship have learned the hard way why you should never leave the balcony door in your cruise cabin open and unattended for too long. </p> <p>While on a cruise around the US and docked in the port of Orlando in Florida, the couple took to TikTok to share their "horror" experience of when their cabin filled up with birds. </p> <p>In the video, they opened the door to their room and were swarmed by a flock of birds as they captioned the video, "When you go on a cruise and you come back to a bunch of (bird emoji) everywhere."</p> <p>"Felt like we were living in a horror movie scene. I can breathe now because I can (laugh)about it," the passenger added.</p> <div class="embed" style="font-size: 16px; box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; outline: currentcolor !important;"><iframe class="embedly-embed" style="border-width: 0px; border-style: none; margin-right: 0px; margin-left: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 600px; max-width: 100%; outline: currentcolor !important;" title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7423175328480136491&amp;display_name=tiktok&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40greedy810%2Fvideo%2F7423175328480136491&amp;image=https%3A%2F%2Fp16-pu-sign-useast8.tiktokcdn-us.com%2Fobj%2Ftos-useast5-p-0068-tx%2FoM5JajVJBIUqbExUAiiApxIM8Af9zqBEi0wBCg%3Flk3s%3Db59d6b55%26x-expires%3D1729123200%26x-signature%3DC%252F8Xte%252FDJymZpHuGaa4Y8zX%252F6AA%253D%26shp%3Db59d6b55%26shcp%3D-&amp;key=59e3ae3acaa649a5a98672932445e203&amp;type=text%2Fhtml&amp;schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> <p>The video was taken on the Carnival Freedom cruise ship in the USA, with the couple later posting another video of a room steward catching two birds in a cardboard box.</p> <p>Viewers in the comments were a mix of amused and horrified, as one person wrote, "You're not supposed to leave your balcony door open when you're gone."</p> <p>"You have a whole Alfred Hitchcock movie in your room," another commented, comparing the scene with the film,<em> The Birds</em>.</p> <p>Others speculated that the unusual behaviour of the birds could be impacted by the nearby Hurricane Milton. </p> <p><em>Image credits: TikTok</em></p>

Cruising

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10 things you should never do on a cruise balcony

<p>While many cruise ship passengers may think they can abide by their own rules in the comfort of their cabins, there are still many cruise ship etiquette rules to follow.</p> <p>Even though some passengers may have private balconies in their rooms, that doesn't mean you can act as if no one is watching. It's important to follow these rules while in your rooms and on your balcony to ensure you'll never be forced to cop the consequences of bad behaviour. </p> <p><strong>1. Smoke</strong></p> <p>Smoking on cruise balconies is a real no-no. Not only is the wafting smoke an unpleasant smell, but a half-burning cigarette blown back aboard can potentially be a fire hazard.</p> <p><strong>2. Make too much noise</strong></p> <p>One think that’s often forgotten is the fact that when we’re standing on our cruise ship balconies we’re well within earshot of our neighbours, so keep the volume down.</p> <p><strong>3. Go nude</strong></p> <p>The thing people sun bathing in one their cruise ship balcony in their birthday suit don’t realise is many balconies are tiered, so you may actually be in view of others.</p> <p><strong>4. Stand or climb on railings</strong></p> <p>Now this should be obvious, but you should never stand on the railings or the verandah furniture can significantly increase your risk of being thrown overboard.</p> <p><strong>5. Throw items overboard</strong></p> <p>It might be tempting to toss a message in a beer bottle overseas, but there are strict regulations. Not only is this dangerous, it’s also not environmentally friendly.</p> <p><strong>6. Dry clothes  </strong></p> <p>It can be quite difficult to dry your swimmers when you’re off a cruise, but one strong gust of wind could mean you could go the rest of your cruise without bathers.</p> <p><strong>7. Leave the balcony door open</strong></p> <p>On a hot and humid day, leaving the balcony door ajar might seem like a good idea, but the gusty sea breeze can wreak havoc with any loose items in your cabin.</p> <p><strong>8. Light a candle</strong></p> <p>It might seem like it’s a good way to enhance the mood, but any open flame on a cruise ship is a fire hazard, and lighting a candle is almost always against regulations.</p> <p><strong>9. Leave the balcony light on</strong></p> <p>If your cruise balcony has outdoor lighting, make sure you turn if off when you’re not actually using it, to save electricity and not disturb your neighbours.</p> <p><strong>10. Amorous behaviour</strong></p> <p>Cruises are inherently romantic holidays, but you might need to avoid overt displays of affection. As mentioned above, balconies are not be as private as you think.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p>

Cruising

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Readers response: What is one country you'll never go to?

<p>When it comes to travelling, everyone has a list of places they are dying to go to.</p> <p>In the same token, lots of travellers have placed they have no interest of ever seeing. </p> <p>We asked our readers what country they will never go to, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Kathy Yeo</strong> - Saudi Arabia or any other country where women have few rights and are treated as possessions.</p> <p><strong>Irene Dodds</strong> - USA. </p> <p><strong>Jim Cormack</strong> - Indonesia, in particular Bali. </p> <p><strong>Roz Eberhard-Swan</strong> - After 132 countries, I can say that I will never return to Russia, China &amp; Cuba. And will now add Afghanistan to that list. Sadly, the USA also is now out of control with their gun laws and politics so probably unlikely to go back there either.</p> <p><strong>Carole Harris</strong> - Russia. I have been and wanted to go back, but never will now.</p> <p><strong>Kath Wilkinson</strong> - Afghanistan. Their treatment of women should turn anyone off!</p> <p><strong>Karen Ambrose</strong> - Probably America due to their pathetic gun laws.</p> <p><strong>Debra Joy </strong>- Spain. I'll never go while they still do bull fighting. Disgusting and abhorrent.</p> <p><strong>George Quinn</strong> - Egypt. Never again! After 35 countries, it's the only place I never felt safe.</p> <p><strong>Janice Brigg</strong> - Bali. Never been here and it is of no interest to us. There are so many other beautiful other places to visit. So far travelled to 58 counties.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p>

Travel Trouble

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"Never been seen before": Fergie reveals new details from 9/11 near miss

<p>Sarah Ferguson, affectionately known as Fergie, has taken to Instagram overnight to share new details of her 9/11 near miss. </p> <p>24 years on, the Duchess of York, who has previously revealed that she was meant to be in the World Trade Centre's North Tower when the plane struck the building, has shared more details of the day.</p> <p>Fergie recalled how her friend, billionaire businessman Howard Lutnick, gave her an office on the 101st floor of the World Trade Centre at the time, for her charity Chances for Children. </p> <p>The charity's logo had a mascot called Little Red, which was eventually made into a doll for a child named PJ who survived the 1995 Oklahoma City Bombings.</p> <p>On the day of the 9/11 attacks Fergie was due to attend a meeting in the office, but was running late because of an earlier engagement, so she was still on route to the building when the terrorists struck. </p> <p>"I was driving in the car and I was late for work... and Little Red was found in the rubble," she said in the video. </p> <p>Fergie opened a box to reveal her own Little Red doll that survived the attacks. While she has previously talked about the doll, this is the first time she revealed what it looked like. </p> <p>"A fireman picked her up, carried her out, like the fireman that picked up PJ all those years ago in the Oklahoma City Bombing," she continued. </p> <p>"And CNN filmed it and said, 'Look, a child's doll.' And Larry King said, 'That's no child's doll. That's Fergie's Little Red' and she stands for children's rights all over the world and she's a sign of hope for children.</p> <p>"What no one has ever seen before and I would like to share this with you is the actual doll that survived in 9/11.</p> <p>"So here, I have it at home. Normally I talk about Little Red and here is the actual doll that survived.</p> <p>"You can see the dust from the building — that's never been seen before.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C_xjdvMKSCn/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C_xjdvMKSCn/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Sarah Ferguson (Fergie) (@sarahferguson15)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>"And I hope Little Red will be talked about all over the world because she's just a very strong, stoic little person."</p> <p>She also shared that on the day, Little Red "sat on her desk overlooking Manhattan on that fateful day when the towers came down."</p> <p>"She came down through the rubble and landed fully intact," she wrote.</p> <p>"Little Red was carried out of the rubble in the fireman's hat exactly as PJ, a child burn victim, was carried years earlier in the Oklahoma City bombing, where the doll was first inspired to bring hope during difficult times and raise money for aid.</p> <p>"Little Red now sits in the 9/11 memorial museum and serves as a reminder of hope within the darkness. We will #neverforget," she continued before encouraging her followers to donate to the Cantor Relief Fund, to support families affected by disaster. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

Caring

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Never-before-seen footage shows moments after JFK assassination

<p>Never-before-seen footage of aftermath of United States President John F. Kennedy's assassination has emerged, more than six decades after his murder. </p> <p>The film footage will soon be sold through RR action, and shows the moment JFK's motorcade sped toward Parkland Hospital as Clint Hill, Jackie Kennedy’s Secret Service agent, shields both her and the president. </p> <p>"This is remarkable, in colour, and you can feel the 80mph (130km/h)," said Bobby Livingston, executive vice president of the auction house.</p> <p>The 8mm home film was captured by Dale Carpenter Sr. and began with him filming other vehicles in the motorcade as it travelled down Lemmon Avenue toward the city centre.</p> <p>The film then picks up after Kennedy was shot, and shows Clint Hill - who famously jumped onto the back of the limousine as the shots were fired - hovering in a standing position over the president and first lady. </p> <p>"I did not know that there were not any more shots coming," Agent Hill, who is now 92-years-old, said. </p> <p>"I had a vision that, yes, there probably were going to be more shots when I got up there as I did."</p> <p>In an interview with <em>People</em> magazine, he said that the discovery of the film is “an emotional thing for me because I know what has happened. I know what I’m seeing in that film is a dead president.”</p> <p>The assassination itself was famously captured on film by Abraham Zapruder, and according to Livingston, the executive vice president of the auction house, the footage captured by Carpenter is "unlike any other footage known to exist". </p> <p>"This film captures a segment immediately following the Zapruder film, providing a fresh perspective on one of the most analyzed moments in history," he continued.</p> <p>"Once you see it, you'll never forget Clint Hill's heroic efforts to protect Mrs. Kennedy, racing at 80 miles an hour in a desperate attempt to save the president's life as they sped to Parkland."</p> <p><iframe title="YouTube video player" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/KPGEtMvxAyQ?si=xzNde8jG6pllHMMn" width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p> <p>Carpenter's grandson, James Gate, said that his family had always known about the footage, but they rarely talked about the footage which was stored along with other family films in a milk crate. </p> <p>It wasn't until after his grandfather's death from Parkinson's disease when his mother decided to hand down family mementos and the film landed in Gate's possession. </p> <p>While he was initially underwhelmed by the film when he watched the footage, it was when he saw the aftermath of the assassination that he was "shocked". </p> <p>In 2012, Gates got in touch with Agent Hill and his wife Lisa McCubbin Hill, to show them the footage. </p> <p>Agent Hill's wife said that while knew about the events that unfolded on the tragic day, "to see the footage of it actually happen ... just kind of makes your heart stop."</p> <p>“When you see the president’s limousine, you see Clint on the back of the car. To see the speed of the car and how precarious that was — Clint is still trying to protect the president and Mrs. Kennedy from whatever else might be coming.</p> <p>"One slip and he would have gone flying off and he would have been killed,” she told <em>People</em> magazine. </p> <p>Stephen Fagin, curator at The Sixth Floor Museum at Dealey Plaza, which tells the story of the assassination on November 22, 1963, said: "These images, these films and photographs, a lot of times they are still out there. They are still being discovered or rediscovered in attics or garages."</p> <p>The film will be up for auction in northeastern US city of Boston on September 28, with <a href="https://www.rrauction.com/auctions/lot-detail/348314307005036-assassination-of-john-f-kennedy-unseen-8mm-film-footage-from-november-22-1963-documenting-the-motorcade-and-rush-to-parkland-hospital/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">online bidding</a> already underway. </p> <p><em>Images: RR Auction / Public Domain</em></p> <p> </p>

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Why you should never take nutrition advice from a centenarian

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/bradley-elliott-1014864">Bradley Elliott</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-westminster-916">University of Westminster</a></em></p> <p>It’s a cliche of reporting on people who reach 100 years of age, or even 110, to ask them some variation of the question: “What did you do to live this long?”</p> <p>Inevitably, some interesting and unexpected answer is highlighted. <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/apr/05/briton-says-becoming-worlds-oldest-man-at-111-is-pure-luck">Fish and chips</a> every Friday. Drinking a glass of <a href="https://news.sky.com/story/worlds-oldest-man-juan-vicente-perez-dies-aged-114-13107627">strong liquor</a> every day. <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/susannah-mushatt-jones-loves-bacon-2015-10">Bacon</a> for breakfast every morning. <a href="https://apnews.com/article/health-france-nursing-homes-795c8273f66b61669e93103cc9c25cd0">Wine and chocolate</a>.</p> <p>While a popular news story, this is a relatively meaningless question that doesn’t help us understand why certain people have lived so long. Let me try to explain why, via beautiful buildings, fighter pilots and statistics.</p> <p>In the second world war, Allied statisticians were applying their skills to minimising the number of bombers being shot down by enemy fire. By studying the damage patterns of bombers returning from action, maps could be drawn up of the most frequently damaged parts of aeroplanes so that expensive, heavy armour could be added to these areas.</p> <p>Simple enough, right? Then, along comes statistician Abraham Wald who argues for the exact <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/2287454?origin=crossref">opposite point</a>. The planes that they’re studying are all those that did return from combat with extensive damage, but what about those that didn’t return?</p> <p>Wald argues that armour should be added to those places that are undamaged on all the returning planes, as any plane hit in these undamaged areas was shot down, never making it back to be surveyed.</p> <h2>Survivorship bias</h2> <p>This phenomenon is known as survivorship bias, or the cognitive and statistical bias introduced by only counting those that are around to count but ignoring those that haven’t “survived”.</p> <p>You can take these examples to the absurd. Imagine a group of 100 people, all of whom have smoked their entire life. As a group, the smokers would die earlier of cancers, lung disease or heart disease, but one or two might defy the odds and live to 100 years of age. Now imagine the intrepid journalist interviewing the lucky soul on their 100th birthday with that classic question: “What do you attribute your successful ageing to?”</p> <p>“Smoking a pack a day,” says the newly minted centenarian.</p> <p>It seems obvious but survivorship bias is everywhere in society. We can all think of that one famous actor or entrepreneur who succeeded despite adversity, who worked hard, believed in themselves and one day made it. But we never read about or hear about the countless examples of people who tried, gave it their all and never quite made it.</p> <p>That’s not a good media story. But this creates a bias, we primarily hear the successes, never the failures. This bias applies to our perceptions of architecture (mostly great buildings from a given period “survive”), to finances (we often hear examples of people who have succeeded in risky investments, those who fail don’t sell books or self-help plans) and to career plans (“If you work hard, and drop out of college now, you can be a successful athlete like me,” say those who have succeeded).</p> <p>I work with a variety of older people and often include extreme outliers who have lived to extreme ages. We’re currently studying over 65-year-olds who have maintained unusually high levels of exercise into older age and have maintained excellent health.</p> <p>They’re phenomenal examples of older humans, many of them are faster, fitter and stronger than me by many of the measures we perform in the lab, despite being almost twice my age.</p> <p>While we know that their lifelong exercise is associated with their unusually good health into older age, we can’t directly say one causes the other yet. It could be that highly active people are protected against chronic diseases such as cancers, diabetes and heart disease. But it also could be that these people are still active into older age as they’ve not been afflicted by cancers, diabetes or heart disease earlier in their lives.</p> <p>Conversely, there could be some unknown third factor that we’ve not yet identified about these people that both keeps them healthy and separately keeps them exercising.</p> <p>For clarity, there are things that scientists like me will say in carefully caveated, scientific language that will probably help you to live longer. Being very physically active, not eating too much and not smoking are all on that list, along with generally having a positive outlook in life, and of course, picking the right parents and grandparents.</p> <p>Correlation does not equal causation. That point is hammered home relentlessly to students in science degrees. It’s how our brain works, we see a pattern between two variables, and assume they’re linked in some way. But often, like in survivorship bias, we’re not looking at all the data, and so finding patterns where there are none.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/229159/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/bradley-elliott-1014864">Bradley Elliott</a>, Senior Lecturer in Physiology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-westminster-916">University of Westminster</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-you-should-never-take-nutrition-advice-from-a-centenarian-229159">original article</a>.</em></p>

Retirement Life

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11 beauty trends that should have never happened

<p><strong>Avoid these beauty buzzkills at all costs</strong></p> <p>Recent years have seen particularly vibrant, eccentric and unpredictable movements in the beauty sphere. Don’t get us wrong; beauty is an aesthetic concept that is indeed subjective to the eye of the beholder, but some of these recent trends aren’t as appealing as you might think.</p> <p>While you’re recovering from the traumatic fashion trends embedded in our history, take comfort in knowing that just about every decade has encountered questionable decisions – whether that be sartorial or cosmetic. If the thought of sporting orange Crocs and popcorn shirts makes you cringe, consider discarding these unflattering beauty trends as well. </p> <p>As proven peeves for guys, makeup artists and job employers alike, these 11 beauty trends actually do the opposite of their intended purpose.</p> <p><strong>Overly sticky lip gloss</strong></p> <p>We all love to sport a glossy pout, but when your lips are so sticky that they begin to look like you doused your mouth in maple syrup, that’s a problem. Wearing it outside especially doesn’t help; nobody likes spending the day with sticky, raspberry pink-streaked strands. Not surprisingly, men aren’t fans of it either; surveys have found that the majority of men vote against women donning it on a dinner date. </p> <p>Not only does it diminish the whole effortless, woke-up-like-this impression you’re trying to pull off, but nobody wants to make out with super glue. Instead, try opting for long-lasting lip tints that moisturise with a subtle sheen.</p> <p><strong>Extensive self-tanner</strong></p> <p>Unless you’re naturally blessed with the wondrous genes of a luminous rose gold complexion, the rest of us mere mortals have been turning to self-tanners to bestow that subtle bronze glow. </p> <p>This doesn’t come with no strings attached however; not only can it ruin that expensive white cashmere sweater you just bought, one coat too many and you’ll begin to resemble a baked pastry. Instead of that “fresh-out-of-the-oven” look, try a tinted moisturiser instead.</p> <p><strong>Stiff hair </strong></p> <p>Applying too much hairspray can make your locks crunchier than a forest floor during September. Instead of spritzing half a bottle of hairspray on your poor scalp, keep it minimal or natural.</p> <p><strong>Hair add-ins </strong></p> <p>While synthetic clip-ons can be cute on a kid or at Coachella, feathers, extensions, and bells on a regular basis can come off rather childish. </p> <p>To prevent looking like a walking Christmas tree (and avoid making your hair look like an arts-and-crafts project), opt for dangling these trinkets on handbags or sporting them as jewellery instead.</p> <p><strong>Neon lips </strong></p> <p>While we’ve all seen the numerous images floating of (admittedly cool-looking) vibrant lipstick styles all over Pinterest, we’re still left scratching our heads as to what public setting one can don a neon green pout. </p> <p>Sporting electrifying colours too drastically divergent from your natural lip colour may make yourself come off as unprofessional and overly aggressive, so it’s best to stay away from the popping lips if you’re attending a job interview.</p> <p><strong>Wet hair look</strong></p> <p>Makeup artists worldwide have predicted this to be the major hair trend of the year. With celebrities like Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and Kim Kardashian West donning it on red carpets and said to have been inspired from Calvin Klein’s campaigns in the ‘90s, it has caught major spotlight everywhere. </p> <p>Although the tousled, wet hair look may look nice on the beachside, having a twist with too much slick on the streets may just come across as greasy, unwashed hair.</p> <p><strong>Colour-blocked makeup </strong></p> <p>Colour-blocking on clothing is undeniably chic, but colour-blocked makeup can make your face appear much too angular, and not in a good way. If you want to avoid looking like a makeup novice, don’t neglect the blending brush.</p> <p><strong>Hangover makeup</strong></p> <p>You know those mornings after a particularly rough night out, and you awaken to the sight of a bloated, saggy face?  Well, now there’s a makeup trend striving for just that. A new trend known as “hangover beauty,” this look praises “aegyo-sal” (translated into “charming fat”), striving to highlight the puffiness under one’s eyes. </p> <p>To achieve the look, one has to line the bags underneath the eye and add blush above the cheekbones before blending them together into a reddish hue. This one’s pretty straightforward: don’t try to enhance what the rest of society usually tries to cover up. </p> <p>While having your eyes appear puffy and red-rimmed may have been an intentional choice for you, chances are people are just going to wonder how much sleep you got last night.</p> <p><strong>Furry nails</strong></p> <p>Ever since Jan Arnold, renown co-founder of CND nail polish, showcased furry nails on the runway, people have been plastering actual faux fur on their nails. Several obvious questions arise to the impracticality factor of this trend (how do you even eat or wash your hands with those?), but this nail art might be stretching it a tad too far, even for nail aficionados. </p> <p>You don’t want someone holding your hand to feel like he’s on a date with Sasquatch, so stick with the gel and acrylic for first impressions.</p> <p><strong>Stark ombre hair </strong></p> <p>Don’t get us wrong; we love ombre for many reasons – when done right. The biggest advice you could take for this is to seriously invest in a reputable hair stylist, or else your hair may just end up looking like you are in desperate need of a root touch-up. </p> <p>Never go cheap with ombre, and make sure your colour transition is gradual as opposed to stark.</p> <p><strong>Bleached brows</strong></p> <p>We have Cara Delevingne to thank for sparking the brow obsession; the pencil-thin arches reminiscent of the ’90s have officially been eliminated for thicker, fuller brows. But if you thought microblading was a bold move, think again. </p> <p>Stars like Katy Perry, Kendall Jenner and Rita Ora have all plunged into the peroxide party, inciting an entire movement of people grabbing the bleach to make their arches completely invisible. While that’s fine and all – if you’re into that sort of thing – fuller brows are proven to make you look younger.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article was originally published on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/healthsmart/beauty/11-beauty-trends-that-should-have-never-happened?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Beauty & Style

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The royals have historically been tight-lipped about their health – but that never stopped the gossip

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lisa-j-hackett-458612">Lisa J. Hackett</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/huw-nolan-1309470">Huw Nolan</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jo-coghlan-1585">Jo Coghlan</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a></em></p> <p>King Charles III has been diagnosed with cancer. This is an unexpected announcement: it is unusual for the royal family to release details of medical conditions to the public.</p> <p>“<a href="https://journal.media-culture.org.au/index.php/mcjournal/article/view/2986">Don’t let the daylight in</a>” was how British essayist Walter Bagehot advised the British monarchy to deal with the public in 1867. “[A]bove all things our royalty is to be reverenced […] its mystery is its life,” he wrote.</p> <p>For Queen Elizabeth II this attitude framed her response to public information about the royals, quipping “<a href="https://www.news24.com/you/royals/news/royal-author-explains-queens-never-complain-never-explain-mantra-20220620">never complain, never explain</a>”. Maybe this explains why Princess Kate’s <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/feb/05/king-charles-diagnosed-with-cancer-buckingham-palace-announces">recent abdominal surgery</a> has not been disclosed to the public, with media reports saying she is “determined to keep her medical details private”.</p> <p>In revealing the fragility of the royal body much of the mystique about them as anointed by God fades away. But the royals’ health has, occasionally, been the subject of official news, and, more commonly, the subject of gossip.</p> <h2>Henry VIII’s ‘soore legge’</h2> <p>Henry VIII’s (1491–1547) health was well-documented and discussed in state-papers and diplomatic dispatches of the day.</p> <p>In his early years, he was known for his robust health. In his later years, he would be described as “<a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2789029/">cursed</a>” by his deteriorating health.</p> <p>As Henry aged, his access to fine food led to an increase of weight. Doctors today might diagnose him with obesity, and it has been <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2789029/">speculated by contemporary medical historians</a> he suffered from hypertension and Type II diabetes.</p> <p>This disease, which can lead to diabetic neuropathy and <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/diabetes/library/features/healthy-feet.html">serious foot complications</a>, could account for the persistent and odorous ulcers on his “<a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2789029/#:%7E:text=In%20the%20same%20year%20Henry,annual%20salary%20of%2020%20shillings.">sorre legge</a>”, as described by his contemporaries.</p> <p>Knowledge about Henry’s health was not widespread. The king had sequestered himself in his private apartments. Even his attending <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2388216/pdf/annrcse00840-0011.pdf">physicians did not keep notes</a>, perhaps concerned about being accused of treason in the volatile politics of the time. Most of our knowledge today is gleaned from diplomatic reports sent by diplomats to their own leaders.</p> <h2>Queen Anne’s lupus</h2> <p>Queen Anne (1665-1714) had 17 pregnancies, 11 of which resulted in miscarriages or stillbirths, with the remainder all dying in childhood. Despite the regularity of her failed pregnancies, her physician, John Radcliffe, repeatedly declared she was in good health and her miscarriages were due to “<a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/j.1540-6563.1986.tb00702.x">the vapours</a>”, a vague diagnosis often attributed to aristocratic women.</p> <p>It is <a href="https://go.gale.com/ps/i.do?id=GALE%7CA12456274&amp;sid=googleScholar&amp;v=2.1&amp;it=r&amp;linkaccess=abs&amp;issn=17592151&amp;p=AONE&amp;sw=w&amp;userGroupName=anon%7Ee39109f7&amp;aty=open-web-entry">now believed Anne</a> may have been afflicted with the autoimmune condition lupus.</p> <p>For Anne’s contemporaries, the name of the illness perhaps mattered less than the real political issue it presented: who would become monarch after her? With no heirs, there was real political fear her Catholic half-brother <a href="https://www.nottingham.ac.uk/manuscriptsandspecialcollections/learning/biographies/jamesfrancisedwardstuart(1688-1766).aspx">James Francis Edward Stuart</a> (“The Old Pretender”) would claim the throne.</p> <p>But the law <a href="https://www.parliament.uk/about/living-heritage/evolutionofparliament/parliamentaryauthority/revolution/collections1/parliamentary-collections/act-of-settlement/">excluded Catholics</a> from the taking the crown, and ensured Anne would be succeed by her second cousin, George I of Hanover and Britain.</p> <h2>George III and mental illness</h2> <p>George III (1738–1820) famously suffered from bouts of mental illness, more recently been speculated to be caused by <a href="https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/porphyria">Porphyria</a>, a hereditary blood disorder.</p> <p>Throughout his illness <a href="https://blogs.ncl.ac.uk/speccoll/2023/11/01/bulletin-on-the-state-of-king-george-iiis-health-october-2011-2/">bulletins were issued</a> by his doctors informing the public of his condition.</p> <p>These were kept <a href="https://blogs.ncl.ac.uk/speccoll/2023/11/01/bulletin-on-the-state-of-king-george-iiis-health-october-2011-2/">deliberately vague</a>, with the aim to reassure the public rather than divulge details. His repeated bouts of illness mean his health was <a href="https://oro.open.ac.uk/92656/3/92656.pdf">a constant in the media of the time</a>, with frequent, at times twice-daily, updates during episodes.</p> <p>His illness called into <a href="https://oro.open.ac.uk/92656/3/92656.pdf">question his ability to be monarch</a>, a situation eventually resolved by the installing of his son, later George IV, as Prince Regent.</p> <h2>A family of haemophilia</h2> <p>Queen Victoria has been called the “<a href="https://hekint.org/2020/02/10/royal-blood-queen-victoria-and-the-legacy-of-hemophilia-in-european-royalty/?highlight=%E2%A3%82%E2%A3%9A%20Buy%20Viagra%20from%20%240.31%20per%20pill%20%3A%20%F0%9F%8F%A5%20www.LloydsPharmacy.xyz%20%F0%9F%8F%A5%20-%20Pharma%20without%20prescription%20%E2%A3%9A%E2%A3%82Viagra%20Cialis%20Levitra%20Staxyn%20Online%20Viagra%20Online%20Information">Grandmother of Europe</a>” due to her many descendants. This also came with a deadly legacy, haemophilia, given the moniker “the royal disease”.</p> <p><a href="https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/hemophilia/facts.html">Haemophilia</a> is an inherited disorder which mostly affects males, where the blood does not clot properly. This can lead to severe or spontaneous bleeding which can be dangerous if not treated properly. While the illness can be managed well today, in Victoria’s time little was known about it.</p> <p>It is believed Victoria passed on the trait to <a href="https://www.hemophilia.org/bleeding-disorders-a-z/overview/history">three of her nine children</a>, at a time when life expectancy for those who had the disease was just 13 years old. Two of her daughters were asymptomatic carriers, however her fourth son Prince Leopold (1853-1884) was afflicted with the disease.</p> <p>While the royal family were careful to <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21764831/">manage what information was publicly released</a> about his illness, his status meant it garnered public attention. It was covered in medical journals of the time, and later in newspapers.</p> <p>As knowledge of the illness grew, both the public and members of the royal family were able to use it to guide decisions on marriages to limit its spread.</p> <h2>A new approach</h2> <p>In the days leading up to Elizabeth’s death on 2022, the media reported her as resting “<a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/siladityaray/2022/09/08/queen-under-medical-supervision-as-doctors-are-concerned-for-her-health/?sh=42c483e9140e">comfortably</a>” and provided no information on the nature of her illness. Even her <a href="https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/News/queen-elizabeth-iis-death-revealed-death-certificate/story?id=90696648">death certificate</a> failed to reveal her cause of death, other than as old age.</p> <p>Charles has signalled he wants to do monarchy differently than his mother. After his recent prostate surgery, his office stated he wanted to inspire men to look after their prostates. Anecdotal evidence suggests more men have sought medical tests in response which is being called the “<a href="https://www.ausdoc.com.au/news/king-charles-effect-spurs-aussie-men-to-consult-their-gp-for-prostate-symptoms/">King Charles effect</a>”.</p> <p>Now, the announcement of Charles’s cancer diagnosis signals a new approach by the royals. <img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/222873/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lisa-j-hackett-458612"><em>Lisa J. Hackett</em></a><em>, Lecturer, Humanities, Arts and Social Sciences, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/huw-nolan-1309470">Huw Nolan</a>, Animal Welfare scientist and pop culture researcher, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jo-coghlan-1585">Jo Coghlan</a>, Associate Professor Humanities Arts and Social Sciences, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-royals-have-historically-been-tight-lipped-about-their-health-but-that-never-stopped-the-gossip-222873">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

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Flight attendant reveals why you should never use the toilet paper on a plane

<p dir="ltr">A flight attendant has revealed the gross reason why you should never use the toilet paper on a plane journey. </p> <p dir="ltr">The seasoned cabin crew member, an American woman named Cheryl, shared the three things she would never do on a plane after seeing what really goes on behind closed doors on an aircraft. </p> <p dir="ltr">Her first tip for any traveller was not to use the toilet paper in a plane bathroom. </p> <p dir="ltr">Sharing her tips in a TikTok video, she wrote, "If you examine the toilet paper, I promise you're going to see water droplets on it, or what you think are water droplets."</p> <p dir="ltr">"I don't think we can trust most men to make it in the toilet on a normal day, let alone flying at 36,000 feet with turbulence."</p> <p dir="ltr">To combat this, the flight attendant recommends bringing a travel pack of tissues in your hand luggage to use instead. </p> <p dir="ltr">She also warned her viewers against wearing shorts on their next flight.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I would never wear shorts on a plane. You're going to freeze to death," she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">Cheryl pointed out another valid reason to opt for long pants on a flight, stating, "Say we have an evacuation. You have to go down the slide. Your butt cheeks are going to be sizzled off.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Lastly, Cheryl urged travellers to never book less than a three-hour connection between flights.</p> <p dir="ltr">"Delays can happen for a million and one reasons. The likelihood that you're going to miss your connection is pretty high if you're booking shorter than three hours," she said.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: TikTok</em></p>

Travel Tips

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8 places you should never keep your phone

<p><strong>In your pocket</strong></p> <p>Keeping your phone in your pocket seems logical, but you could be doing more harm than good. According to Dr Lilly Friedman, this is actually the worst place to store your phone. “When phones are on, connected to a wireless network, and placed in a pocket, the radiation is two to seven times higher than if it were placed in a purse or holster,” she says. </p> <p>There is a correlation between radiation from a mobile phone and tumour growth, she adds. Plus, radiation can change the structure of DNA and affect male fertility, according to Dr Friedman. The World Health Organization’s International Agency for Research on Cancer also found that mobile phone radiation is additionally carcinogenic to humans. Merely sitting on your phone could cause health issues such as sciatica or back problems.</p> <p><strong>In your bra</strong></p> <p>Some research and case studies show that keeping your phone in your bra could be linked to breast cancer due to the radiations and vibrations from the phone. That said, there is not enough evidence to establish a definite relationship between the two. Still, keeping your phone in your bra, especially a sports bra, is a bad idea due to the skin-irritating bacteria it could harbour, Muscle &amp; Fitness reports.</p> <p><strong>In your bed or under your pillow</strong></p> <p>Sleeping with your phone is a bad idea for a few reasons. First, keeping your phone under your pillow could build up heat and present a potential fire hazard, especially if your phone is charging or has a defect. It’s also known that the LED light from phone screens can disrupt melatonin production and circadian rhythms, hurting your sleep quality, according to the National Sleep Foundation.</p> <p>And, of course, there’s also radiation to consider. The amounts of radio frequency radiation mobile phones give off are the same ones emitted from microwaves. There is also concern about the safety of mobile phone use with respect to cancer and brain tumours, per the American Cancer Society.</p> <p><strong>Plugged in</strong></p> <p>Keeping your phone plugged in when it has a full battery causes damage to the battery itself, according to pcmag.com. It’s not that your phone ‘overloads’ with power, but heat build-ups from stacking things on top of your phone or keeping it under your pillow, making your phone hotter and damaging your battery.</p> <p><strong>Close to your face</strong></p> <p>Keeping your phone close to your face means bacteria transfers to and from your phone, making your skin and phone dirtier. This combination leads to more acne, skin irritation and even wrinkles, according to Allure. Try using ear pods instead to keep the surface of your phone at a distance from your face.</p> <p><strong>In your glovebox</strong></p> <p>Extreme temperatures are the worst conditions for your phone. So keeping your device in your car’s glovebox during the extremely hot or cold months of the year could lead to problems. According to Time, excess heat can cause everything from data loss or corruption to battery leakage. The cold weather presents just as many issues for your device. In cold temperatures, many smartphones shut off, have display problems, shortened battery life and in rare cases screen shattering.</p> <p><strong>On your beach towel </strong></p> <p>Notice a theme here? The extreme sun and heat at the beach is a recipe for phone disaster. Protect your device after you finish taking beautiful beach pictures. Hot and sunny conditions could, again, cause your phone to overheat – and getting sand in your phone won’t help either.</p> <p><strong>Anywhere in the bathroom</strong></p> <p>Although phones could arguably be the new newspaper, it’s not a good idea to take yours into the bathroom. Even if you keep your device on a counter or away from the toilet, anything within a metre of a flushing toilet could mean bacteria or viruses in the air end up on your phone, according to a study published in Applied and Environmental Microbiology. </p> <p>“The detection of bacteria and viruses falling out onto surfaces in bathrooms after flushing indicated that they remain airborne long enough to settle on surfaces throughout the bathroom,” wrote the study authors.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/healthsmart/8-places-you-should-never-keep-your-phone" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Technology

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14 personal finance tips you were never taught – but need to know

<p><strong>Take a day to think about large purchases to avoid impulse buys</strong></p> <p>“Delaying your purchases for a day gives you time to think about whether or not you really need the items, and it curbs regrettable impulse buys,” advises Marc Diana, CEO of MoneyTips.</p> <p>“Sale items may be an exception to this rule, but even then, question how badly you need the item compared to saving or investing the money you would use to purchase it. When times are tough, and you’re cutting expenses, would you rather have a rarely worn $300 pair of shoes or $300 cash?”</p> <p><strong>Budgets are freeing, not constricting</strong></p> <p>Says financial educator Tiffany Aliche, “Keeping a budget allows you to say yes to your goals in a strategic way. If you have a budget, you can save for the holiday, house or car you want to get. You can look at it as ‘No dining out,’ but I see it as ‘Yes to a trip to Paris.’ A budget is not a NO plan, but a YES plan with actual steps towards achieving your goals.”</p> <p><strong>Budget with the 50/20/30 rule</strong></p> <p>Lynn Toomey, co-founder of Your Retirement Advisor, suggests following this easy budgeting rule:</p> <p>Use 50 per cent of your income for non-discretionary necessities like food, rent/house payment, utilities, and transportation.</p> <p>Put aside 20 per cent of your income for an emergency fund (three to six months’ salary is a good target), retirement, savings, and to pay off any debts.</p> <p>Use 30 per cent of your income for discretionary (non-essential) spending such as entertainment, holidays and gifts.</p> <p><strong>Penny-pinching is not the road to wealth</strong></p> <p>Spending less doesn’t mean you’ll have more. Saving is a good way to stabilise your finances, but you still need to invest. “Pretend there are two islands,” advises Aliche, who is also known as The Budgetnista: “Financially Stuck Island and Wealthy Island.”</p> <p>She says that your savings can be like a car – you can’t drive off Financially Stuck Island without a bridge. Investing is the bridge to financial success. “To get from one island to another, you need to get in your savings car and drive it over your investment bridge.”</p> <p><strong>It’s OK to put yourself before your kids</strong></p> <p>Many people want their kids to go to university, says Aliche, “but it’s more important for you to save enough for retirement. Because the best gift you can give your child is not a free ride to school, but rather not to be a financial burden on them when it’s time to start their own family. Kids can get student loans; no one is going to lend you money without collateral when you’re retired.”</p> <p><strong>Financial advisors aren’t only for wealthy people</strong></p> <p>Millions of people have trillions invested in stocks, bonds, mutual funds and other stock exchange investments, but just because you can easily make trades yourself doesn’t mean you should. “Why not do what you do best to earn money and let a trained professional invest it for you?” asks Brian Saranovitz, president of Your Retirement Advisor. “A recent Vanguard Investments study indicated that integrating proper retirement strategies can add as much as 3 per cent efficient return to a retirement portfolio.”</p> <p>Adds Aliche, “You need to purposefully seek out knowledge. If you break a leg, you know that you need to go to a doctor. With personal finance, people have got the notion that they could just fix it themselves. When it comes to investing, don’t be afraid to seek professional help.”</p> <p><strong>Get a clear picture of yourself at 80</strong></p> <p>Barring tragedy, you will live to a ripe, old age. Aliche recommends naming your 80-year-old image of yourself. “Mine is Wanda. I imagine Wanda sitting on the front steps in her yard. People feel disconnected from their older self. The more you can picture her, the better. I don’t want to see her mopping floors at 80. When I’m making a decision, I think, ‘How will this affect Wanda?’ If I dip into my retirement funds to buy an expensive car, that’s going to hurt Wanda.”</p> <p>If it’s easier, pretend you’re living with your grandfather or grandmother. “You’re not going to tell Granny, ‘You have to go to work. We need the money,’” she says.</p> <p><strong>You can never have too much retirement savings</strong></p> <p>Says Lynn Toomey, co-founder of Your Retirement Advisor, “Life is good. Retirement is better, if you are prepared.” She points out that retirement is laden with potential costs, such as healthcare, longevity, market volatility and inflation.</p> <p>“Even if you think you’re saving enough and have assets, it still may not be enough. The earlier you start saving and investing, the longer compound interest can work its magic to help you achieve a successful retirement.”</p> <p><strong>Don’t blow your tax refund</strong></p> <p>“What are you planning on doing with your tax refund?” asks financial advisor Mike Zaino. “If you’re like most people, the world of instant gratification is beckoning. It could be extremely damaging to your retirement account, however, especially given the time value of money and what Albert Einstein called ‘The eighth wonder of the world” – compound interest.”</p> <p><strong>Ask current lenders for a better rate</strong></p> <p>“Banks, credit unions and other lenders are keenly aware of their competition,” says Diana of MoneyTips.com. “If your credit score qualifies you for a better rate from another credit card issuer or lender, ask them to match the rate. There’s no downside to asking; the worst they could do is refuse.”</p> <p><strong>Asking for your credit limit to be raised can improve your credit score</strong></p> <p>Keep your credit utilisation – the amount of credit you use compared to your credit limit – low to boost your all-important credit, advises Diana. “You can borrow less, or you can ask for a raise in your credit limit.”</p> <p>A recent study from CreditCards.com found that only 28 per cent of respondents have never asked for an increase in their credit limit. However, a whopping 89 per cent of those who asked for a credit limit increase received one.</p> <p><strong>Unless they have a high annual fee, don’t close your old credit cards</strong></p> <p>“The longer your stable credit history, the better it reflects on your credit score,” explains Diana. “The age of accounts is averaged over all of your credit accounts, so closing an older account that is infrequently used actually harms your credit score in two ways: it lowers your credit limit, which raises your credit utilisation; and it lowers your average account age. If you have an old card with a decent credit limit, use it at least annually to keep it open. But don’t forget to pay the bill on time!”</p> <p><strong>Don’t ever co-sign a loan</strong></p> <p>“Co-signing a loan isn’t just vouching for someone’s character,” explains Toomey. “Understand that if the borrower doesn’t pay, then you’re responsible for every single missed payment. If they don’t pay, it’s your credit that will be ruined.”</p> <p><strong>Being debt-free should not be your goal</strong></p> <p>Says Aliche, creator of the Live Richer Challenge, “People focus on getting out of debt. If they use that money to grow wealth instead of getting rid of debt, they could be debt-free faster. Do you pay off your student loans to get debt-free, or invest money in your business to grow and secure wealth for yourself? If you focus on being debt-free, that’s all you’ll be. If you focus on building wealth, then you can be wealthy and debt-free.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/food-home-garden/money/14-personal-finance-tips-you-were-never-taught-but-need-to-know?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Money & Banking

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7 things you should never say at a funeral

<p><strong>What not to say at a funeral </strong></p> <p>Struggling to find the right words to convey sympathy at a funeral? Even the most well-intentioned comments can come across as hurtful instead of helpful. Here are some common phrases you should never say at a funeral –and what to say instead.</p> <p><strong>Never say "I know how you feel" at a funeral </strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Instead, say:</em></span> “I can’t imagine how you feel.”</p> <p>By the time we’re adults, most of us will have experienced the loss of a family member, friend or colleague. What’s important to note, however, is that although the phases of grief are similar, we don’t necessarily know how another grieving individual truly feels. “Everyone’s experience is unique,” says Jaime Bickerton, executive director of Bereaved Families of Ontario in Canada. “Everyone’s loss is the worst, because it’s theirs.”</p> <p>It can help to think of yourself in a helper role, says author and grief counsellor, Dr Alan Wolfelt. “Walk ‘with,’ not ‘behind’ or ‘in front of’ the person who is mourning.”</p> <p><strong>"Time heals all wounds" is something you should never say at a funeral </strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Instead, say:</em></span> “Take the time you need and be gentle with yourself.”</p> <p>“There’s no formula when it comes to grief,” says Asya Hadzismajlovic, bereavement expert. “It comes in waves.” The grieving process takes time and important dates like anniversaries and birthdays can trigger an emotional tsunami. Allow the bereaved to move through that process at his or her own pace, advises Wolfelt. “Don’t force your timetable for healing. Allow them to experience all the hurt, sorrow and pain he or she is feeling at the time.”</p> <p><strong>Never say “At least he didn’t suffer,” “At least she made it to her birthday,” or “At least she died doing what she loved” at a funeral</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Instead, say:</em></span> “I am here for you.”</p> <p>It’s best to avoid any statements that begin with “at least,” notes Bickerton. These sentiments are often an attempt to make dark days more bearable, but they won’t diminish the pain of losing a loved one. What the person grieving really needs is your quiet presence, says Hadzismajlovic. Check in during the day of the funeral and beyond. “People just want to be heard; to be listened to,” she says. “We say that grief shared is grief lessened.”</p> <p><strong>“Let me know what I can do” is something you should never say at a funeral</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Instead, say:</em></span> “Here’s what I can do for you…”</p> <p>This comment places the burden on the bereaved to reach out for help at a time when they likely don’t know what they need, explains Bickerton. Running a few loads of their laundry, tidying their house or yard and preparing meals are just a few ways to genuinely show you care as opposed to merely saying you care. “If they have 38 casseroles, make the 39th,” says Wolfelt. “Deliver it in your best dish and say you will be over in a week to pick it up. This provides you with an opportunity to check in.”</p> <p><strong>Never say “She’s in a better place” at a funeral</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Instead, say:</em></span> “She will be missed.”</p> <p>“Most likely, the person grieving is thinking the best place for [the deceased] to be is with them,” says Bickerton. “There’s also a danger of assuming the person ascribes to certain beliefs, which may not be the case.” Simply show your support for your grieving friend, colleague or family member, advises Wolfelt. “At the funeral, a touch of your hand, a look in your eye or even a hug often communicates more than words can say.”</p> <p><strong>Never say “It was his time” at a funeral</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Instead, say:</em></span> “I am so sorry for the loss of your precious [person’s name].”</p> <p>“This platitude can be particularly upsetting for the grieving person to hear as it implies a reason for the death when they may be feeling the death was senseless or irrational,” says Bickerton. Even if the loved one lived a long, full life, the person grieving would likely have been wishing for many more years together. When expressing your condolence be sure to say the person’s name, advises Wolfelt. “That way the person grieving knows you are genuinely concerned.”</p> <p><strong>Never say “You need to say goodbye” or “Life must go on” at a funeral</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Instead, say:</em></span> “He will always be remembered for his generosity/love for his family…”</p> <p>Statements like these tend to minimise the grief journey, says Bickerton. “Life will go on but it will look very different for the person grieving as they adjust to their new normal.” A note that shares a favourite memory or relates the special qualities you valued in the person who has passed is a thoughtful way to express your condolences before or after the funeral, says Wolfelt. “These words will often be a loving gift to the grieving person.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/true-stories-lifestyle/relationships/7-things-you-should-never-say-at-a-funeral" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>.</em></p>

Caring

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10 signs of an ulcer you should never ignore

<p><strong>What is a stomach ulcer?</strong></p> <p>Peptic ulcers are painful sores that line the stomach – and they affect about millions people per year. Normally the stomach has a protective layer that keeps the acidic juices in the stomach from getting to sensitive tissue and causing an ulcer. However, some people are at risk of developing stomach ulcers, most often due to long-term use of NSAIDs, the class of pain reliever that includes ibuprofen or aspirin, or an infection with a type of bacteria called H. pylori. The good news is that treatment can help many ulcers to heal.</p> <p>Here are the signs of an ulcer you shouldn’t ignore.</p> <p><strong>You have pain specifically in your upper abdomen </strong></p> <p>One of the most common ulcer symptoms is severe pain in the upper abdomen, according to gastroenterology specialist Dr Neil Sengupta. Ulcers can develop anywhere in the upper digestive tract, he says but we often think about those occurring in the stomach or small intestine, where we feel pain. </p> <p>This ulcer pain usually occurs when your stomach is empty and can come and go for as long as several months, according to the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases.</p> <p><strong>You feel nauseous </strong></p> <p>One of the other tell-tale ulcer symptoms is feeling nauseous, says Dr Sengupta. Many patients report that having a little food in your stomach can help ulcer symptoms subside.</p> <p><strong>You've had unexplained vomiting </strong></p> <p>From time to time, nausea brought on by ulcers may become so intense that it could actually cause you to vomit. If that happens, stay away from medications like ibuprofen and aspirin. According to Dr Sengupta, these over-the-counter pain medications actually put you at a higher risk of developing ulcers – or make your current ulcers worse.</p> <p><strong>You bleed when you use the toilet </strong></p> <p>Blood coming from the gastrointestinal tract can signal a variety of underlying health issues. Still, Dr Sengupta says when this bleeding is combined with upper abdominal pain, he’s “highly suspicious” that it’s one of the signs of an ulcer. Many patients notice this blood either when vomiting, or when using the bathroom, as their stools may appear black. </p> <p>If you notice this blood, along with nausea and pain in the stomach or chest, Dr Sengupta says doctors will often perform a blood test and an upper endoscopy – where they use a camera to look into the stomach itself – to check if an ulcer is the culprit. Blood in your stool can also be caused by haemorrhoids, or be a symptom of bowel cancer, so it’s a good idea to get checked out by your doctor.</p> <p><strong>You have chest pain</strong></p> <p>Some patients with ulcers describe chest pain, a term called ‘non-cardiac chest pain’, which refers to pain in the area that’s not caused by a heart attack or heart disease, according to the American College of Gastroenterology. The discomfort is commonly caused by a gastrointestinal problem, though it can also stem from stress or anxiety.</p> <p><strong>You're more bloated than usual </strong></p> <p>If you notice your stomach feeling particularly bloated, it may be more serious than a little bit of gas – it could be one of the signs of an ulcer. Of course, bloating can also be caused simply by eating something your body doesn’t agree with, but when combined with these other symptoms, it’s worth checking out.</p> <p><strong>Your appetite went MIA (missing in action) </strong></p> <p>Another less common, but possible, ulcer symptom is weight loss. You may notice your appetite is off, and stomach discomfort makes it hard to eat. This drop in food intake, combined with occasional vomiting, may lead to unexpected weight loss.</p> <p><strong>You're feeling weirdly hungry </strong></p> <p>You’d think that an ulcer would kill your appetite, but some people feel this burning or gnawing sensation in their stomach weirdly as hunger. The pain may briefly stop after you’ve had something to eat.</p> <p><strong>You've had back pain</strong></p> <p>You might associate ulcers with the stomach and small intestine, but believe it or not, some people report that the pain travels into their upper or mid-back. If that happens, it can make your symptoms all the more confusing.</p> <p><strong>You keep burping </strong></p> <p>Belching is a less common symptom of an ulcer, but your doctor might be suspicious if it’s accompanied by the other symptoms on this list. Talk to your doctor if you’ve been burping more than usual; ulcer or not, it can be a disruptive symptom and your doctor will want to figure out the cause.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/healthsmart/10-signs-of-an-ulcer-you-should-never-ignore?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Body

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Readers Respond: What's a book you love that most people have never heard of?

<p>Looking for a new book to kickstart your year?  Look no further we've got you covered. </p> <p>Here are a few of our reader's book recommendations that you may not have heard of. </p> <p><strong>Ruth Fontaine</strong> - I’m reading <em>We of the Never Never </em>atm. Not sure if it’s still well known. I’ve read it before but awhile back and love it. I love reading how they lived nearly 120 years ago. </p> <p><strong>Elaine Rosenberg</strong> - <em>The Abbey Girls Series</em> by Elsie J Oxenham.</p> <p><strong>Maryika Welter</strong> - <em>The courage to be disliked.</em> ... Furmitake Kogan, Ichiro Kishimi.</p> <p><strong>Janice Stewart</strong> - <em>A Fortunate Life</em> by Albert Facey</p> <p><strong>Suzanne Midson</strong> - <em>On Our Selection</em> by Steele Rudd. Read it when I was about 10/12. Best laugh ever. Australian humour at its best.</p> <p><strong>Julie Anderson</strong> - <em>Episode of Sparrows</em> by Rumor Goddin </p> <p><strong>Nancie Golsby</strong> - <em>The Half Burned Tree</em> by Dympna Cusack</p> <p><strong>June Maynard</strong> - Sahara, by Paula Constant. Preceded by Slow Journey South. A thrilling, actual account of her adventure.</p> <p><strong>Peter Rayner </strong>- <em>Enforcer</em> by Caesar Campbell</p> <p><strong>Meg Milton</strong> - <em>I Heard the Owl Call My Name</em> by Margaret Craven</p> <p><strong>Edie Dore</strong> - <em>The Curious Incident of the Dog </em>in the Night-time by Mark Haddon.</p> <p><strong>Christine Cornforth</strong> - <em>A Grief Observed</em> by CS Lewis. </p> <p><strong>Wendy Oliver</strong> - <em>The Good Earth</em> by Pearl Buck</p> <p>Do you have any other recommendations that we might have missed?</p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

Books

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7 things you never knew about M*A*S*H

<p>Did you know <em>M*A*S*H</em> ran more than three times longer than the actual Korean War? It may have graced our screens for 11 years, but you might not know all there is to know about the classic TV series, <em>M*A*S*H</em>.</p> <ol> <li><strong>No one wanted a laugh track</strong> – Despite pleas from the show’s producers, the network (CBS) went ahead and added in canned laughter. You might have noticed the laugh track growing quieter and quieter as the years progressed, and in the UK, the laugh track was removed entirely.</li> <li><strong>CBS banned an “unpatriotic” episode</strong> – An idea for an episode was shot down by the network for being “unpatriotic”. It involved soldiers standing outside in the freezing cold to make themselves sick enough to be sent home – a tactic actually used during the war.</li> <li><strong>The writers got back at complaining cast members</strong> – If ever an actor complained about their script (or asked for changes), the writing team would change the script to make it “parka weather”, making the cast swelter in jackets through days in excess of 32°C on their Florida film set.</li> <li><strong>Patients were named after sports teams</strong> – After running out of names for patients visiting the hospital, the writers turned to baseball teams. In season six, four Marines are named after California Angels infielders, while in season seven, they named patients after the 1978 Los Angeles Dodgers.</li> <li><strong><em>M*A*S*H</em> hosted some big-name stars</strong> – Guest appearances on the show include Ron Howard, Leslie Nielsen, Patrick Swayze, Laurence Fishburne and Rita Wilson.</li> <li><strong>The series finale broke records</strong> – The two-and-a-half-hour 1983 series finale, “Goodbye, Farewell and Amen,” was watched by a staggering 121.6 million people in the US alone – back then, that was 77 per cent of households with TV sets. It remains the most-watched episode of a TV show in US history.</li> <li><strong>The time capsule didn’t stay buried long</strong> – In the series’ second-last episode, the <em>M*A*S*H</em> gang bury a time capsule. When the show wrapped up, the land used as the show’s set was sold, and a construction worker found the capsule just months later. After getting in contact with Alan Alda to return it, Alda told the worker he could keep it.</li> </ol> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

TV

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9 things you should never touch in someone else’s house

<p><strong>A hands-off approach</strong></p> <p>Nothing like a global pandemic to critically alter your lifelong and intrinsic sanitary practices, huh? And while we know coronavirus does not spread easily from surfaces, there are still plenty of other germs and bacteria that do. And it’s not always a matter of good hygiene – sometimes it’s just a matter of good manners!</p> <p><strong>The door </strong></p> <p>Of course, you can actually touch the door, but you should never do so to let yourself into someone else’s home without them, or without being invited. Always knock or ring the bell, even if it’s been left unlocked, unless someone has expressly told you that you don’t have to. </p> <p>And please, don’t show up knocking earlier than expected – it could be a huge inconvenience to your host.</p> <p><strong>Their bathroom </strong></p> <p>As with most of the things on this list, you should avoid this unless you’re specifically invited. Try not to stray after your trip to the bathroom for a look around – it’s definitely off-limits if you don’t have permission or are going in without your host knowing. Of course, there are exceptions, as it may not be so serious an offence if you know the person very well, or if one lives in a shared living space, a studio, or an apartment with limited space. </p> <p>And on that note, it’s best to wait until you’re invited to sit or relax on someone’s bed. Many people also find that a bedroom is a convenient place to store coats if there are guests coming over, but wait until they offer instead of assuming it’s OK.</p> <p><strong>The floor - with your shoes on</strong></p> <p>Depending on personal preferences or cultural norms, many households have a no-shoes-inside policy. Take the tip from your host – if they’re wearing shoes in their house, you can probably assume it’s OK for you. When in doubt, ask what they would prefer. </p> <p>Another place you shouldn’t be putting your feet? On the couch or coffee table. I can think of five good reasons you should ban shoes in the house, period.</p> <p><strong>The fridge and cupboards </strong></p> <p>This one might sound like it should go without saying, but some might not realize just how rude it is to help yourself to someone else’s food. If you’re hungry, let your host know, or suggest going out to eat. If you’re staying for a long time, your host will probably prepare and shop for food accordingly, but it’s a good idea to offer to bring or buy some groceries yourself. And if you came for dinner, eat what’s been prepared for you, and offer to bring a dish or wine to share. </p> <p>If you have a restricted diet, let your host know beforehand and prepare a dish to bring if it’s difficult to accommodate. Offer to help cook, and lend a hand with the dishes and cleanup. Countertops are absolutely one of those things you should be cleaning every day, regardless.</p> <p><strong>The windows or thermostat</strong></p> <p>Always let your hosts set the thermostat number – it’s their house, after all, and they’re the ones paying the bill for it. If you’re really too cold, a better option might be to ask to borrow a jumper, or extra blankets if you’ll be staying overnight. </p> <p>Too hot? Suggest an activity to help cool off, like going to a place with air conditioning. If you have a medical condition that makes you particularly sensitive to heat or cold, you should always inform your host ahead of time so you can make plans accordingly.</p> <p><strong>Drawers and cabinets</strong></p> <p>This one is definitely invasive of your host’s privacy. Don’t go rummaging for anything that’s not in plain sight or in the rooms your host is expecting you in. You might find it tempting to snoop, but the medicine cabinet is certainly off-limits.</p> <p><strong>Workspaces, mail, or bills</strong></p> <p>To go along with the last one, it’s always best to avoid snooping. In some homes, a guest bedroom might also double as a home office, so steer clear of using these spaces to store your things. You have no idea how they might have organised their things, so try to leave it as is. Not going through someone’s mail is basic manners!</p> <p><strong>Cigarettes or e-cigarettes </strong></p> <p>Unless your host is doing the same and gives you permission, you should never, ever start smoking a cigarette or e-cigarette in someone’s home. This rule is especially inflexible if there are children in the house. Not only can you expose them to the harmful ingredients and chemicals in cigarettes, but the effects – and the smell – can linger long after you’re gone. </p> <p>If you can’t wait, excuse yourself to go outside, and try to move away from doors and windows so it doesn’t waft into the house. Removing the cigarette and cigar smell is quite the cumbersome task. </p> <p><strong>The Wi-Fi</strong></p> <p>Try to refrain from asking for the Wi-Fi password unless you’re a long-term guest or a very frequent visitor. If you’re asking at the beginning of a dinner party, it’s sending the message that you’d rather be on your phone. Try to stay off of your phone as much as possible to really have quality time when you’re visiting.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/true-stories-lifestyle/9-things-you-should-never-touch-in-someone-elses-house" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

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