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Woman horrified after man brings his mother to first date

<p dir="ltr">A woman has been left stunned after her crush invited his mother to infiltrate their first date. </p> <p dir="ltr">The young woman took to Reddit to recall the mortifying moment, and to ask users if she was out of line by leaving the awkward date. </p> <p dir="ltr">The 23-year-old began the story by explaining how she matched with a 25-year-old man, who she referred to as Jake, on the dating app Hinge. </p> <p dir="ltr">She explained that the couple had been “chatting for a few weeks, and he seemed like a solid guy — funny, good taste in music, and even remembered I loved Italian food.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“He planned the date at this nice little spot in Dallas, which I thought was sweet,” she added. </p> <p dir="ltr">She continued, “I show up, and everything's fine at first. He's already there, we hug, and he even complimented my outfit.” </p> <p dir="ltr">“But like five minutes after I sit down, this older woman walks in. Jake stands up, waves her over, and says, ‘This is my mom!’ 'I thought I misheard him for a second.”</p> <p dir="ltr">After he introduced his mother to his date, she pulled up a chair and began asking the 23-year-old a slew of invasive questions. </p> <p dir="ltr">“She sits down at the table, all casual, and starts introducing herself to me like this is normal. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there, trying to figure out if I'm being pranked. I kind of laugh nervously and say, ‘Oh, I didn't know you were bringing anyone,’ and he goes, ‘Oh, she just wanted to meet you. Don't worry—it's not a big deal’.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“But it was a big deal because she didn't just stop by to say hi — she ordered wine and stayed. The whole time, she's asking me these personal questions about my job, my family, even if I want kids someday.” </p> <p dir="ltr">“It was like an interview, not a date. Jake barely said anything. He just smiled and kept nodding like this was all normal,” she revealed. </p> <p dir="ltr">The woman then shared that after 20 minutes of the awkward encounter, she decided to leave, and texted Jake that same evening to say she didn’t want to go on another date. </p> <p dir="ltr">She said, “I couldn't take it anymore. I said I wasn't feeling great and needed to leave. I texted him later, saying I didn't think it would work out and wished him well.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Although she thought she did the right thing, she began doubting her decision and questioned if she was in the wrong. </p> <p dir="ltr">The 23-year-old concluded the post by asking, '”Now I feel kind of bad. My roommate says I did the right thing because honestly, who brings their mom to a first date? But my coworker said it was rude to just leave and that maybe his mom was just super close to him or nervous for him or whatever. Was I wrong for walking out?”</p> <p dir="ltr">Reddit users flocked to the comments section and ran to her defence as they slammed Jake for bringing his mother along on the date. </p> <p dir="ltr">One person said, “It's absurd that he would bring her. Unless she needs constant supervision due to some health issue. That is a very strange dynamic. You did what most anyone else would have done. Best of luck.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

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The good, the bad and the awful – how businesses reacts to online reviews

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/mina-tajvidi-1192090">Mina Tajvidi</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queen-mary-university-of-london-1745">Queen Mary University of London</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/nick-hajli-1426223">Nick Hajli</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/loughborough-university-1336">Loughborough University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/tahir-m-nisar-1050021">Tahir M. Nisar</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-southampton-1093">University of Southampton</a></em></p> <p>Every day travellers across the globe are flocking to popular destinations, eager to relax and create memories.</p> <p>Alongside packing and planning, many turn to online reviews to choose the perfect hotel, restaurant, or activity. These reviews, often shared enthusiastically or with a hint of frustration, play a key role in shaping our experiences. But what happens to these reviews once they are posted? Do businesses truly read them, and if so, do they make changes based on customer feedback?</p> <p>The short answer is yes, businesses do read reviews and often act on them. In fact, for many, it’s a crucial part of their <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S004016252100384X">customer engagement strategy</a>. Reviews offer a treasure trove of insights, from customer satisfaction and service quality to product usability and pricing perceptions. But beyond the numbers and star ratings, reviews provide a story of the customer experience that can highlight strengths and reveal weaknesses.</p> <p>Businesses, particularly in competitive industries like hospitality, often have dedicated teams or <a href="https://broadly.com/blog/reputation-management-tools/">software tools</a> to monitor reviews across platforms like Tripadvisor, Google, and Yelp. These tools can aggregate reviews, analyse sentiments, and even benchmark against competitors.</p> <p>For example, a hotel chain may use these insights to identify common themes in guest feedback, such as complaints about check-in delays or praises for room cleanliness. By doing so, they can prioritise issues and respond effectively.</p> <p>However, reading reviews is just the beginning. The real value lies in how businesses respond to them, and whether they take actionable steps to address the feedback. In many cases, customer reviews have become catalysts for change. For instance, a recurring complaint about outdated decor might prompt a hotel to refurbish its rooms. Similarly, consistent praise for a friendly staff member can lead to rewards or recognition programmes, boosting employee morale and enhancing the overall guest experience.</p> <p><a href="https://ieeexplore.ieee.org/document/10614398">Some businesses</a> go a step further by engaging directly with reviewers. This engagement can take various forms, from public responses thanking customers for their feedback to private messages addressing specific concerns. <a href="https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.1108/ITP-09-2018-0415/full/html">Such interactions</a> not only show that a business values its customers, but also humanises the brand, fostering trust and loyalty. A well-handled response to a negative review can even turn a dissatisfied customer into a loyal advocate.</p> <h2>The role of negative reviews</h2> <p>Negative reviews, while often dreaded by businesses, are an essential component of the feedback process. They provide honest, often blunt insights into what went wrong and where improvements are needed. For instance, during the holiday season, a restaurant might receive complaints about long wait times or underwhelming festive menus. Instead of viewing these reviews as setbacks, savvy businesses see them as opportunities to refine their offerings and enhance customer satisfaction.</p> <p>In some cases, businesses have <a href="https://ieeexplore.ieee.org/document/10614398">used negative reviews</a> as a springboard for innovation. A restaurant receiving feedback about limited vegetarian options might introduce new menu items, attracting a broader clientele and boosting sales. Similarly, a hotel criticised for lack of amenities might invest in additional facilities, improving its appeal and competitiveness.</p> <p>As technology evolves, the landscape of customer reviews and business responses is also changing. The rise of artificial intelligence and machine learning that uses algorithms has made it easier for businesses to analyse vast amounts of feedback and identify trends quickly. This capability allows for more proactive responses, with businesses anticipating issues before they become widespread problems.</p> <p>Moreover, the increasing use of video and photo reviews adds a new dimension to customer feedback. <a href="https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.1108/JPBM-01-2019-2194/full/html?casa_token=adZDhhc3f0IAAAAA:7jPn1_y31gfB4BjJjLdl8QnnFixO3XCEOKbtemd0N2vhh_UCEHa1vjisRj3X3K1iw7UIRL1yylJGN6CCqPbW1Bs4CoSto1x0M1ntb_RtD7z-ZXHzj7Q">Visual reviews</a> can provide a more vivid portrayal of experiences, from showcasing a beautifully plated dish to highlighting a less-than-sparkling pool.</p> <p>Businesses are adapting to this trend by incorporating user-generated content into their marketing strategies, showcasing real-life customer experiences to attract new clients.</p> <p>However, the rise of fake reviews is a growing concern. In 2023, the popular travel website Tripadvisor <a href="https://www.tripadvisor.com/TransparencyReport2023#group-section-Fake-Reviews-HZjJZOxSZ4">saw an overwhelming influx</a> of user-generated content, with over 30 million reviews, however, amid this vast pool of feedback, 1.3 million reviews were flagged as fraudulent and subsequently removed.</p> <p>In the end, customer reviews are not just fleeting opinions left in the digital atmosphere. They are valuable conversations between businesses and their customers. For businesses, reviews offer an opportunity to understand their clients’ needs, address concerns, and celebrate successes. That is why businesses like <a href="https://www.aboutamazon.com/news/policy-news-views/how-ai-spots-fake-reviews-amazon">Amazon are using AI</a> to manage the reviews.</p> <p>By reading, responding, and, most importantly, acting on reviews, businesses can foster a loyal customer base and continually improve their offerings. So, the next time you leave a review, remember that someone is listening, and your words may just be the catalyst for positive change.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/236194/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/mina-tajvidi-1192090">Mina Tajvidi</a>, Lecturer in Digital Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queen-mary-university-of-london-1745">Queen Mary University of London</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/nick-hajli-1426223">Nick Hajli</a>, AI Strategist and Professor of Digital Strategy, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/loughborough-university-1336">Loughborough University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/tahir-m-nisar-1050021">Tahir M. Nisar</a>, Professor of Strategy and Economic Organisation, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-southampton-1093">University of Southampton</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-good-the-bad-and-the-awful-how-business-reacts-to-online-reviews-236194">original article</a>.</em></p>

Travel Trouble

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Readers response: How do you feel about online shopping compared to traditional in-store shopping?

<p>When it comes to shopping for things we want and need, many people have a preference over whether they shop in a physical store or online. </p> <p>We asked our readers which they prefer when shopping for food, clothes or anything else their hearts desire, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said.</p> <p><strong>Ellen Polsen</strong> - Why would one buy online? I like to feel and see the things I purchase, particularly garments, as fabrics today are mostly rubbish.</p> <p><strong>Jennie Craven</strong> - I do a little of each. But usually use stores that I know or brands where the sizing is correct for me. I always use a payment system that I understand. </p> <p><strong>Gail Ladds</strong> - I love online shopping! I often forget that I’ve bought something then get a nice surprise when it arrives lol.</p> <p><strong>Debra Coats</strong> - Online is okay when you cant go to the store. I did online shopping for about 8 months after open heart surgery but when i was given the all clear to shop and drive, I was in my element as its a moment of getting out of the house and seeing others around me.</p> <p><strong>Karen Peardon</strong> - I have done some online shopping (mainly craft supplies) only because I have been very ill for months but I love in-store shopping more. Retail therapy!!</p> <p><strong>Christine Whyte</strong> - Have not and will not ever do it, very old school and too wary of the dangers out there, besides I like getting out and choosing for myself.</p> <p><strong>Helga Bonello</strong> - I like to see feel and touch products before I buy. Online scammers are a worry, besides we need a reason to go out and be sociable.</p> <p><strong>Olimpia Palumbo</strong> - My family does on line shopping and usually end up with the worst fruit and sometimes the wrong items.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Money & Banking

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Readers response: What advice would you give to seniors looking to start a new relationship?

<p>When entering the dating world, there are always nerves, expectations and excitement at any age.</p> <p>But when it comes to dating and starting new relationships in your senior years, priorities can be skewed, and meeting someone can be nerve-wracking. </p> <p>We asked our readers what advice they would you give to seniors looking to start a new relationship, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Judy Chappell</strong> - Don’t! Nothing better than independence &amp; freedom late in life after 63 years married. I have my kids, grandkids, great grandies &amp; great friends that’s enough for me. Don’t need another male around.</p> <p><strong>Jan Heggie</strong> - If it feels right, do it. If it doesn’t feel right after a while, leave. Life is too short to not enjoy it.</p> <p><strong>Karen Simpson Nikakis</strong> - Put legals in place to protect your assets, do not cohabit or marry, and split all bills. </p> <p><strong>Lois Hone </strong>- Be true to yourself. Choose someone who completes you, the one person you feel you can’t live without. The one person, who makes you smile, laugh and is still there when you are sad and hurt and wants to support you. Oh and if they like to cook and clean as well, go for it!</p> <p><strong>Julie Fause</strong>r - Live each in your own home.</p> <p><strong>Marilyn Langelaar </strong>- Do not compare to previous partner.</p> <p><strong>Janet Olsson</strong> - Be careful. Don't rush into anything.</p> <p><strong>Lynn Dilley</strong> - Just go for it if you are happy and feel safe, but keep your money and documents to yourself.</p> <p><strong>Merle Finlayson</strong> - Go for it! It’s never too late.</p> <p><strong>Margot R McCamley </strong>- Enjoy the relationship, but there are always buts so tread carefully. Think it through thoroughly, but don't dismiss it as folly.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

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Romance fraud doesn’t only happen online – it can turn into real-world deception

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/cassandra-cross-122865">Cassandra Cross</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queensland-university-of-technology-847">Queensland University of Technology</a></em></p> <p>We often think of fraudsters as people on the opposite side of the world. They will manipulate and exploit victims through words on a computer screen, or loving messages through the phone. But romance fraud can also happen in person, with the fraudster sleeping in the bed beside you.</p> <p>This was the circumstance Australian writer Stephanie Wood found herself in. It’s also the basis for the new <a href="https://www.paramountanz.com.au/news/fake-breaks-subscription-and-streaming-records-on-paramount/">television series Fake</a>, currently screening on Paramount+. A dramatisation of Wood’s powerful memoir by the same name, the series outlines the many lies and betrayals of an intimate relationship.</p> <p>It’s a brutal insight into the world of deception which characterises romance fraud.</p> <h2>When love hurts</h2> <p>Romance fraud (or romance scams) is what it sounds like – offenders use the guise of a relationship to gain a financial reward. In most cases, it’s through the direct transfer of money from the victim, but it can also be through using personal credentials to commit identity crimes.</p> <p>From the outside, it’s hard to understand how romance fraud is so effective. However, <a href="https://eprints.qut.edu.au/233966/">research has documented</a> the range of grooming techniques, social engineering tactics and methods of psychological abuse deployed by offenders. Offenders know exactly what to do and say to gain the compliance of their victim.</p> <hr /> <hr /> <p>Offenders target a person’s vulnerability and work hard to build strong levels of trust. There are endless calls, texts and emails that create a bond. Then follows the inevitable “crisis”, whereby the offender needs money urgently for a health emergency, criminal justice situation, business need or even a <a href="https://www.accc.gov.au/media-release/romance-baiting-scams-on-the-rise">cryptocurrency investment</a> opportunity.</p> <p>For many, this can result in ongoing payments and substantial losses. Over <a href="https://www.accc.gov.au/about-us/publications/serial-publications/targeting-scams-reports-on-scams-activity/targeting-scams-report-of-the-accc-on-scams-activity-2023">A$200 million</a> was reported lost by Australians to this fraud type in 2023, but this is likely a gross underestimation of actual figures. It also doesn’t capture the many <a href="https://www.aic.gov.au/sites/default/files/2020-05/29-1314-FinalReport.pdf">non-financial harms</a>, including physical and emotional declines in wellbeing.</p> <p>When the relationship finally ends, it’s too late. The money is gone, the extent of the deception is laid bare, and recovery from the heartache and loss is a constant battle.</p> <p>There is a well-documented “<a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1748895815603773">double hit</a>” of victimisation, with individuals needing to grieve the relationship as well as any financial losses.</p> <h2>Seeing is not believing</h2> <p>There are countless incidents of romance fraud where the offender and victim never meet: the deception takes place entirely online. But it’s important to know fraudsters also operate in person.</p> <p>Wood’s memoir details an extraordinary level of lies and dishonesty presented to her throughout her relationship. Stories that laid the groundwork for later fabrications. Stories that were deliberate and calculated in how they were used to gain her trust, and later used against her.</p> <p>The motivations of these real-world deceivers are not always straightforward. Often it’s about money, but not always. For Wood, not being asked for money allayed potential suspicions, but it didn’t reduce her feelings of loss and emotional devastation upon discovering the extent of the lies.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/K_1Akqhjy6M?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <p>Wood is by no means alone in her experience. Marketing executive Tracy Hall endured a similarly sophisticated and all-encompassing level of deceit in her relationship with <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2019/jun/20/conman-hamish-mclaren-jailed-for-up-to-16-years-after-swindling-76m-from-victims">convicted conman Hamish McLaren</a> (known to her as Max Tavita).</p> <p>In her book, <a href="https://tracyhall.com.au/the-last-victim">The Last Victim</a>, Hall recounts snippets of their daily lives over a 16-month period, with McLaren portraying himself as a successful professional in finance. His mail was addressed to Max Tavita and his phone conversations were with real people. Yet his whole identity and the world he represented to Hall was a complete fabrication.</p> <p>The experiences of Wood and Hall highlight the sheer depth of elaborate deception that can be perpetrated in an intimate relationship. Critically, it highlights romance fraud isn’t relegated to an online environment.</p> <h2>How can we prevent romance fraud?</h2> <p>There is an overwhelming amount of <a href="https://eprints.qut.edu.au/83702/">shame and stigma</a> associated with romance fraud. The dynamics of these deceptive relationships are misunderstood, and this perpetuates negative stereotypes and a discourse of victim blaming, even from friends and family.</p> <p>In hindsight, the warning signs might seem obvious, but fraudsters tend to effectively disguise these in real time and deploy deliberate tactics to overcome any suspicion.</p> <p>We must all create a culture that empowers victims to come forward to raise awareness. This isn’t intended to create fear or anxiety, but to normalise the threat fraud poses, and to allow for difficult conversations if it happens. Ongoing silence from victims only favours the offender.</p> <h2>How to protect yourself from romance fraud</h2> <p>It’s inevitable we’ll continue to swipe right in our efforts to find love. But keep a healthy level of scepticism and an open dialogue with family and friends in any quest for a new relationship.</p> <p>Don’t be afraid to conduct your own searches of people, places and situations presented to you in a relationship. There is a memorable moment in Fake where the protagonist refutes her friend’s offer of assistance, saying “this is a love story not an investigation”. Sadly, sometimes an investigation is necessary.</p> <p>No matter what the circumstance or the person, think carefully before sending any money. Only give what you are willing to lose.</p> <p>Deception comes in many forms. We must recognise it for what it is, and the impact it has on victims. But we must also not give into those who lie, and let them define who we are or dictate our ability to trust.</p> <p><em>If you or someone you know has been a victim of romance fraud, you can report it to <a href="https://www.cyber.gov.au/report-and-recover/report">ReportCyber</a>. For support, contact <a href="https://www.idcare.org/">iDcare</a>. For prevention advice, consult <a href="https://www.scamwatch.gov.au/">Scamwatch</a>.</em><!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/237653/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/cassandra-cross-122865"><em>Cassandra Cross</em></a><em>, Associate Dean (Learning &amp; Teaching) Faculty of Creative Industries, Education and Social Justice, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queensland-university-of-technology-847">Queensland University of Technology</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/romance-fraud-doesnt-only-happen-online-it-can-turn-into-real-world-deception-237653">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Legal

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Readers response: What are your thoughts on online dating or dating apps for seniors?

<p>When it comes to dating, there are many ways people find their perfect person, and for many that happens online. </p> <p>We asked our readers what their thoughts are on an online dating app for seniors, and the responses were overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Kristeen Bon</strong> - I tried it for a bit, but found the men to be so unrealistic in their expectations. What they say they want and what they REALLY want are poles apart.</p> <p><strong>Helen Smith</strong> - It works great but men really need to look in a mirror now and then.</p> <p><strong>Sue Rowley</strong> - Personally, I’m happy on my own, but if you’re looking for a partner where else is there to meet someone? Pub, supermarket, dog walking? Not many options really, especially when you’re older.</p> <p><strong>Jenny Gordon</strong> - Would not consider it. Would prefer to stay single than see how friends and relatives have been affected by using them.</p> <p><strong>Ali Veldman</strong> - Risky at any age, in my opinion.</p> <p><strong>Diane Derby</strong> - I’d never entertain one. I like being by myself, plus two much catfishing and ghosting to be able to find a decent type.</p> <p><strong>Margaret Godfrey</strong> - Tried it. A dismal failure in a small population. What is the point of men interstate responding when you live a plane flight away?</p> <p><strong>John Coffey</strong> - Met my late partner online, and had a great 10 years. It can be a minefield though.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Relationships

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Are you up to date with your COVID, flu and other shots? It might depend on who your GP is

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peter-breadon-1348098">Peter Breadon</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/grattan-institute-1168">Grattan Institute</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anika-stobart-1014358">Anika Stobart</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/grattan-institute-1168">Grattan Institute</a></em></p> <p>Too many older Australians are <a href="https://grattan.edu.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/A-fair-shot-How-to-close-the-vaccination-gap-Grattan-Institute-Report.pdf">missing out</a> on recommended vaccinations for COVID, flu, shingles and pneumococcal that can protect them from serious illness, hospitalisation and even death.</p> <p>A new <a href="https://grattan.edu.au/">Grattan Institute report</a> shows vaccination rates vary widely from GP to GP, highlighting an important place to look for opportunities to boost vaccination.</p> <p>Many people get vaccinated at pharmacies, and those vaccinations are counted in our analysis. But we looked at GPs because they have a unique role overseeing someone’s health care, and an important role promoting vaccination.</p> <p>We found that for some GPs, nine in ten of their older patients were vaccinated for flu. For others, the rate was only four in ten. The differences for shingles and COVID were even bigger. For pneumococcal disease, there was a 13-fold difference in GPs’ patient vaccination rates.</p> <p>While some variation is inevitable, these differences are large, and they result in too many people missing out on recommended vaccines.</p> <h2>Some GPs treat more complex patients</h2> <p>A lot of these differences reflect the fact that GPs see different types of patients.</p> <p>Our research shows older people who aren’t proficient in English are up to 15% less likely to be vaccinated, even after other factors are taken into account. And the problem seems to be getting worse.</p> <p>COVID vaccination rates for people 75 years and older fell to just 36% in May 2024. But rates were even lower – a mere 11% – for people who don’t speak English proficiently, and 15% for those who speak a language other than English at home.</p> <p>Given these results, it’s no surprise that GPs with fewer patients who are vaccinated also have more patients who struggle with English. For GPs with the lowest vaccination rates, one-quarter of their patients aren’t proficient in English. For GPs with the highest vaccination rates, it is only 1%.</p> <p>GPs with fewer vaccinated patients also saw more people who live in rural areas, are poorer, didn’t go to university, and don’t have regular access to a GP, all of which reduce the likelihood of getting vaccinated.</p> <p>Many of these barriers to vaccination are difficult for GPs to overcome. They point to structural problems in our health system, and indeed our society, that go well beyond vaccination.</p> <p>But GPs are also a key part of the puzzle. A <a href="https://www.ijidonline.com/article/S1201-9712(14)01379-4/fulltext">strong</a> <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/21645515.2020.1780848">recommendation</a> from a GP can make a big difference to whether a patient gets vaccinated. <a href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/primary-health-care/general-practice-allied-health-primary-care">Nearly all</a> older Australians visit a GP every year. And some GPs have room for improvement.</p> <h2>But GPs seeing similar patients can have very different vaccination rates</h2> <p>We compared GPs whose patients had a similar likelihood of being vaccinated, based on a range of factors including their health, wealth and cultural background.</p> <p>Among the GPs whose patients were least likely to get a flu vaccination, some saw less than 40% of their patients vaccinated, while for others in that group, the rate was over 70%.</p> <p>Among GPs with patients who face few barriers to vaccination, the share of their patients who were vaccinated also varied widely.</p> <p>Even within neighbourhoods, GP patient vaccination rates vary a lot. For example, in Bankstown in Sydney, there was a seven-fold difference in COVID vaccination rates and an 18-fold difference for pneumococcal vaccination.</p> <p>Not everything about clinics and patients can be measured in data, and there will be good reasons for some of these differences.</p> <p>But the results do suggest that some GPs are beating the odds to overcome patient barriers to getting vaccinated, while other GPs could be doing more. That should trigger focused efforts to raise vaccination rates where they are low.</p> <h2>So what should governments do?</h2> <p>A comprehensive national reform agenda is <a href="https://grattan.edu.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/A-fair-shot-How-to-close-the-vaccination-gap-Grattan-Institute-Report.pdf">needed to increase adult vaccination</a>. That includes clearer guidance, national advertising campaigns, SMS reminders, and tailored local programs that reach out to communities with very low levels of vaccination.</p> <p>But based on the big differences in GPs’ patient vaccination rates, Australia also needs a three-pronged plan to help GPs lift older Australians’ vaccination rates.</p> <p>First, the way general practice is funded needs to be overhauled, providing more money for the GPs whose patients face higher barriers to vaccination. Today, clinics with patients who are poorer, sicker and who struggle with English tend to get less funding. They should get more, so they can spend more time with patients to explain and promote vaccination.</p> <p>Second, GPs need to be given data, so that they can easily see how their vaccination rates compare to GPs with similar patients.</p> <p>And third, Primary Health Networks – which are responsible for improving primary care in their area – should give clinics with low vaccination rates the help they need. That might include running vaccination sessions, sharing information about best practices that work in similar clinics with higher vaccination rates, or offering translation support.</p> <p>And because pharmacies also play an important role in promoting and providing vaccines, governments should give them data too, showing how their rates compare to other pharmacies in their area, and support to boost vaccination uptake.</p> <p>These measures would go a long way to better protect some of the most vulnerable in our society. Governments have better data than ever before on who is missing out on vaccinations – and other types of health care.</p> <p>They shouldn’t miss the opportunity to target support so that no matter where you live, what your background is, or which GP or pharmacy you go to, you will have the best chance of being protected against disease.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/234175/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peter-breadon-1348098"><em>Peter Breadon</em></a><em>, Program Director, Health and Aged Care, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/grattan-institute-1168">Grattan Institute</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anika-stobart-1014358">Anika Stobart</a>, Senior Associate, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/grattan-institute-1168">Grattan Institute</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/are-you-up-to-date-with-your-covid-flu-and-other-shots-it-might-depend-on-who-your-gp-is-234175">original article</a>.</em></p>

Body

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"I just don't like old skin": Jane Fonda's bizarre confession

<p>Jane Fonda has made an unusual confession about her dating life, explaining why she would only date people of a certain age. </p> <p>The Hollywood legend, 85, has been married three times throughout her life: first to director Roger Vadim from 1965 to 1973, then to activist Tom Hayden from 1973 to 1990, and finally to CNN founder Ted Turner from 1991 to 2001.</p> <p>Fonda is currently single, but doesn't plan on staying that way. </p> <p>Despite being open to finding love, the actress has a very specific criteria for potential suitors to meet before agreeing to a date. </p> <p>On the <em>Absolutely Not</em> podcast, the Oscar winner initially suggested she was done with men for good, saying, “I’m done, I’m over, I’m [almost] 86 years old, even in the dark I wouldn’t want to be naked in front of anybody.” </p> <p>But she then went on to confess that there’s still a chance she could fall for a man, but they would just have to be substantially younger. </p> <p>“And here’s another thing, I’m ashamed to say this, if I were to take a lover, he’d have to be 20. Because I don’t like old skin,” said Fonda.</p> <p>She continued, “And consequently, I don’t want to foist that on anybody else. I assume other people are like me, I just don’t like old skin.”</p> <p>“I disapprove of 86-year-old men with 20-year-old women, so I’m not going to repeat it. I can ogle them, and I can’t pretend that I don’t get turned on if I see a certain kind of a person, but no, no, no, I don’t want to force that on anybody.”</p> <p>Her confession has been criticised on social media, with some suggesting the star would be “cancelled” if it was a man that had said the same about young women. </p> <p>“This is seriously weird,” tweeted one fan, while another said: “But an 85 year old man wanting to date a 20 year old woman is disgusting? Am I right?”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

Relationships

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Hilarious reason dad couldn't be fooled by online scam

<p>One savvy dad has outwitted a scammer who posed as his daughter, after the scammer made one hilarious error. </p> <p>Ian Whitworth, a dad from Sydney, took to his LinkedIn page to share the message a scammer texted him in a classic phishing scam that targets parents. </p> <p>He shared the photo of what he thought was the "funniest phishing text any parent has ever received".</p> <p>The text read, "Hey dad, dropped my phone in the sink while doing the dishes. Its unresponsive this is my new number for now just text me here x."</p> <p>Despite the terrible grammar and punctuation that would immediately alert anyone to the possibility of a scam, it was something else that caught the dad's attention. </p> <p>Instead, Whitworth said it was the fact his daughter would never do the chore mentioned by the scammers.</p> <p>Still, he thought it was worth sharing a photo of the text in a bid to warn others, which he uploaded along with the comment, "Cybersecurity update. I just got this."</p> <p>"Perhaps the funniest phishing txt any parent has ever received. 'Doing the dishes', yeah, for sure."</p> <p>In a reply to one of the people who commented on his post, Whitworth joked that his daughter "at age four emerged from my parents' kitchen with a shocked look on her face. 'What's pop doing?'. He was washing up in the sink."</p> <p>Another commenter wrote, "Haha! There is NO WAY this is from my son or daughter, that's for sure."</p> <p>Another commenter said the giveaway that it wasn't from his own child was that they didn't immediately ask for money, to which Whitworth replied, "Ha, yeah, the phishers are like the seven step ladder of confidence before the money issue gets raised. Actual kids: MONEY NOW."</p> <p>According to the federal government's Scamwatch website run by the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC), the "Friends/Family Hi Mum" impersonation scam was common.</p> <p>"Scammers send messages pretending to be a family member or a friend desperate for money," it said.</p> <p>"They say they have a new phone and they need you to pay money to help them out of a crisis."</p> <p>Scamwatch warns: "Don't assume a person you are dealing with is who they say they are" and offers the following advice.</p> <p>"If someone you know sends a message to say they have a new phone number, try to call them on the existing number you have for them, or message them on the new number with a question only they would know the answer to," it said.</p> <p>"That way you will know if they are who they say they are."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images / LinkedIn</em></p>

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10 helpful etiquette rules for posting a loved one’s death on social media

<p><strong>There’s no right way to deal with death on social media</strong></p> <p>The first thing to bear in mind when sharing or hearing of a loss on social media is that everyone is different. “When it comes to grief, there’s no one way to deal with it, and no correct prescription, so each person’s way needs to be respected,” says Dr Fran Walfish, a family and relationship psychotherapist.</p> <p> “When people are experiencing a loss, it’s very important to step aside, not tell them what to do, and take your cues from them.”</p> <p><strong>Let the closest loved ones post first</strong></p> <p>While anyone affected by a death can feel a strong impulse to share the news on social media, such announcements should be left to the deceased person’s closest family members, who should have the prerogative to decide when, what, and how they want to post. “Sharing is really for the closest loved ones’ benefit, so leave it up to that core group to post the initial news of the passing,” says Stef Woods, who teaches classes on social media. </p> <p>“Note what information has been included or excluded from that post, then follow suit and show support.” A recent study found that the content of those posts can vary depending on the social media platform used. In a 2016 paper, two University of Washington students who had analysed the feeds of deceased Twitter users found, “People use the site to acknowledge death in a blend of public and private behaviour that differs from how it is addressed on other social media sites,” according to a press release.</p> <p><strong>Streamline logistics</strong></p> <p>Because social media has the power to reach such a large network simultaneously, it can be a helpful tool for a family dealing with preparations for a service or memorial. “When the loss is fresh and there are lots of plans to coordinate, it can save people time and emotional energy rather than re-sharing the same information in call after call,” says Woods. </p> <p>If you’re on the phone with someone, she explains, you could get stuck in a conversation that’s not just about you relaying information, it’s also about the other person processing it, and you may not have the time or mental patience for such an exchange. “It can be easier to post the information on Facebook, and then go focus on logistics. It can help give the closest loved ones their own time,” she adds.</p> <p><strong>Get your facts straight</strong></p> <p>While it seems like it should go without saying, when posting about a death on social media, it’s especially crucial to make sure your information is accurate. “I have a niece who was in the ICU for many months with pneumonia teetering between life and death, and all of a sudden on Facebook, I saw a close friend of my brother express condolences, but my niece was still alive!” says Walfish. </p> <p>She rushed to do damage control by contacting the friend – who was a kind, well-meaning person – to prevent her brother from ever seeing such an upsetting post. Fortunately her niece ultimately recovered. “We were lucky in my case, but you can’t always erase what goes out there.”</p> <p><strong>Be careful with details</strong></p> <p>People hearing of a death on social media may want to get more information, understandably, but your curiosity is less important than the family’s need for privacy. “If the core group doesn’t indicate the details of how someone passed in the post, there’s some reason they included or excluded that information,” says Woods. If you happen to know details that weren’t publicly shared by the relatives, it isn’t your place to put that information out there. “Let the core group take the lead,” adds Woods, who points out that ultimately, “finding out the Why and How doesn’t change the fact that someone is gone.” </p> <p>In addition, whether you’re the closest family or the most distant friend of the deceased, be aware that whatever information you post could be viewed by children. “So, if God forbid there was a suicide or any kind of questionable circumstances to the death, be very cautious about how and what you say if you don’t want a teenager or younger child to see it,” says Walfish.</p> <p><strong>Respond in the medium in which you received the news</strong></p> <p>Remember that in the first hours and days after someone passes, the loved ones of the deceased are dealing not only with a storm of emotion but also a long list of logistics. While social media can help that core group to share information more easily, such a public announcement can leave them open to getting bombarded with hundreds of calls and texts. “If you’ve been notified on social media rather than receiving a call, that means for whatever reason that the closest family members didn’t want to or didn’t have time to talk to everyone,” says Woods. </p> <p>“So when acknowledging the news, stick to the medium through which you received the information.” If someone posts on Facebook, she says, reply briefly online, but don’t rush to call or text; instead, give the family space to deal with what they need to deal with. “Wait and reach out later,” Woods advises. “The loss will still be felt long after the services have passed.” An exception may be if you can offer to help in any way – by taking care of children, for example, or hosting out-of-town relatives who may come in for the funeral.</p> <p><strong>Decide whether to keep the departed’s online profiles</strong></p> <p>There’s a good chance that the person who passed has an online profile, and it’s up to their loved ones to decide what to do with it. “Sometimes a person’s profile page is deleted, sometimes the page is kept up, sometimes a separate memorial site is created,” says Woods. “It’s all up to what’s best for those who are grieving the most – there’s no right or wrong way to handle it.” If a deceased person’s Facebook page, for example, continues to be active with respectful photos and posts, it can become a space where everyone can process the loss and remember together.</p> <p>“It can be healthy to express that those who are gone are not forgotten,” says Woods. For some, however, maintaining a lost loved one’s online presence can be detrimental. “When someone keeps a deceased person’s page alive, in a way it’s parallel to memorialising the deceased by making a shrine in your home,” says Walfish. “It can stop some people from moving forward in their life; it’s like not allowing the final resolution of acceptance.”</p> <p><strong>Make your own wishes known</strong></p> <p>When it comes to looking ahead to your own passing, if you have specific wishes about your own social media presence, share them with your loved ones, says financial planner, Pamela Sandy. “Because we live so much of our lives on various social media platforms, we need to think about whether we want all that out there after we’re gone,” she says. Speaking from personal experience, Sandy adds that when her significant other passed, she wasn’t sure of his wishes for his Facebook page and didn’t know where his username and password was. </p> <p>After a time, she found his login credentials and deleted his page, which is what she believes he would have wanted. In order to help her clients avoid similar situations, Sandy includes an online platform that stores people’s changing usernames and passwords to be accessed by their loved ones after their passing – among the services she offers. Additionally, in 2015 Facebook introduced a feature that lets people choose a legacy contact – a family member or friend who can manage their account when they pass away, according to a company press release.</p> <p><strong>Avoid platitudes</strong></p> <p>When you’re trying to show support for someone who has experienced a loss, avoid comments containing trite platitudes such as “They’re in a better place,” especially if you don’t know the family’s beliefs. </p> <p>“For example, saying the person lived a long life may not sit well because the family may not feel it was long enough,” says Woods, adding that it’s fine to be honest and say you don’t know what to say. “It’s OK to write ‘I’m so sorry; there are no words,’” says Woods. “It’s OK to be honest and sincere.”</p> <p><strong>Check your privacy settings</strong></p> <p>When posting, sharing, or commenting on any sensitive information – such as a death – make sure you understand who will be able to see it. “People have different social media privacy settings, so they may think no one can see a particular post when they can,” says Woods. </p> <p>“If you’re sharing a post, say, on Instagram and connecting it with Facebook, it automatically defers to your Instagram setting. Or your phone may have a different default setting than your laptop.”</p> <p><strong>Don’t give into a grief Olympics</strong></p> <p>Sometimes a close family member’s post about the loss of a loved one can attract not only sincere condolences, but also comments in which more distant family or friends get carried away with their own feelings. “It can become a ‘grief Olympics,’ and it should be avoided,” says Woods. Once news of someone’s passing has been announced by their core group, she says, avoid comments about yourself such as bemoaning how hard the news is for you. </p> <p>“If you feel the need to process your own grief, record that processing on your own page,” she suggests. “And do so without tagging any of the core loved ones or the person who passed. If they want to know your views, they’ll see it.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/culture/etiquette-rules-for-dealing-with-death-on-social-media?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Caring

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Why am I online? Research shows it’s often about managing emotions

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/wally-smith-1450210">Wally Smith</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/greg-wadley-203663">Greg Wadley</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p>Most of us <a href="https://wearesocial.com/au/blog/2022/02/digital-2022-australia-online-like-never-before/">go online</a> multiple times a day. About half of 18–29 year olds surveyed in a 2021 <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2021/03/26/about-three-in-ten-u-s-adults-say-they-are-almost-constantly-online/">Pew Research Study</a> said they are “almost constantly” connected.</p> <p>How are we to make sense of this significant digital dimension of modern life?</p> <p>Many questions have rightly been asked about its broader consequences for society and the economy. But there remains a simpler question about what motivates people across a range of ages, occupations and cultures to be so absorbed in digital connection.</p> <p>And we can turn this question on ourselves: <em>why am I online?</em></p> <h2>What are we doing when we go online?</h2> <p>As the American sociologist Erving Goffman <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/1975/02/16/archives/frame-analysis.html">pointed out</a>, asking “What is it that’s going on here?” about human behaviour can yield answers framed at different levels. These range from our superficial motives to a deeper understanding of what we are “really” doing.</p> <p>Sometimes we might be content to explain our online behaviour in purely practical terms, like checking traffic routes or paying a bill. Other times we might struggle to articulate our reasons for going or remaining online.</p> <p>Why are we continually looking at our phones or computers, when we could be getting on with physical tasks, or exercising, or meditating, or engaging more fully with the people who are physically around us?</p> <h2>The ever-present need to manage our emotions</h2> <p>As researchers of human-computer interaction, we are exploring answers in terms of the ever-present need to manage our emotions. Psychologists refer to this activity as <a href="https://www.guilford.com/books/Handbook-of-Emotion-Regulation/James-Gross/9781462520732">emotion regulation</a>.</p> <p>Theories of the nature and function of emotions are complex and contested. However, it is safe to say they are expressions of felt needs and motivations that arise in us through some fusion of physiology and culture.</p> <p>During a typical day, we often feel a need to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1037/1089-2680.2.3.271">alter our emotional state</a>. We may wish to feel more serious about a competitive task or more sad at a funeral. Perhaps we would like to be less sad about events of the past, less angry when meeting an errant family member, or more angry about something we know in our heart is wrong.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PQkNb4CLjJ8?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption><span class="caption">Digital emotion regulation is becoming increasingly common in our everyday lives.</span></figcaption></figure> <p>One way to understand our frequent immersions into online experience is to see them as acts within a broader scheme of managing such daily emotional demands. Indeed, in <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1071581922001732">earlier research</a> we found up to half of all smartphone use may be for the purpose of emotional regulation.</p> <h2>Digital technologies are becoming key tools of emotion regulation</h2> <p>Over the pandemic lockdowns of 2020–21 in Melbourne, Australia, we investigated how digital technologies are becoming <a href="https://dl.acm.org/doi/10.1145/3491102.3517573">key tools of emotion regulation</a>. We were surprised to find that people readily talked of their technology use in these emotion-managing terms.</p> <p>Occasionally, this involved specially designed apps, for mindfulness and so on. But more often people relied on mundane tools, such as using social media alongside Zoom to combat feelings of boredom or isolation, browsing for “retail therapy”, playing phone games to de-stress, and searching online to alleviate anxiety about world events.</p> <p>To some extent, these uses of digital technology can be seen as re-packaging <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/026999399379285">traditional methods</a> of emotion management, such as listening to music, strengthening social connections, or enjoying the company of adorable animals. Indeed, people in our study used digital technologies to enact familiar strategies, such as immersion in selected situations, seeking distractions, and reappraising what a situation means.</p> <p>However, we also found indications that digital tools are changing the intensity and nature of how we regulate emotions. They provide emotional resources that are <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ubiquitous_computing">nearly always available</a>, and virtual situations can be accessed, juxtaposed and navigated more deftly than their physical counterparts.</p> <p>Some participants in our study described how they built what we called “emotional toolkits”. These are collections of digital resources ready to be deployed when needed, each for a particular emotional effect.</p> <h2>A new kind of digital emotional intelligence</h2> <p>None of this is to say emotion regulation is automatically and always a good thing. It can be a means of avoiding important and meaningful endeavours and it can itself become dysfunctional.</p> <p>In our study of a small sample of Melburnians, we found that although digital applications appeared to be generally effective in this role, they are volatile and can lead to <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/sep/27/social-dilemma-media-facebook-twitter-society">unpredictable emotional outcomes</a>. A search for energising music or reassuring social contact, for example, can produce random or unwanted results.</p> <p>A new kind of <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10187756/">digital emotional intelligence</a> might be needed to effectively navigate digital emotional landscapes.</p> <h2>An historic shift in everyday life</h2> <p>Returning to the question: <em>what am I doing online?</em> Emotion regulation may well be the part of the answer.</p> <p>You may be online for valid instrumental reasons. But equally, you are likely to be enacting your own strategies of <a href="https://cis.unimelb.edu.au/hci/projects/digitalemotionregulation">emotion regulation through digital means</a>.</p> <p>It is part of an historic shift playing out in how people negotiate the demands of everyday life. <img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/208483/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/wally-smith-1450210">Wally Smith</a>, Professor, School of Computing and Information Systems, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/greg-wadley-203663">Greg Wadley</a>, Senior Lecturer, Computing and Information Systems, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-am-i-online-research-shows-its-often-about-managing-emotions-208483">original article</a>.</em></p>

Technology

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Thief asks woman out on date after robbing her at gunpoint

<p>A US woman has gone through the harrowing experience of being robbed at gunpoint, but it was what happened after the fact that was almost as eerie.</p> <p>Amber Beraun was checking the mail one night at her Indianapolis home in May when she was approached by a man with a gun.</p> <p>The gunman was later identified as Damien Boyce.</p> <p>Speaking to WRTV, Beraun said she was confronted by Boyce, who attempted to enter her home. She refused and gave him all the cash she had handy, which came to $100.</p> <p>Before he made his escape, Boyce asked Beraun a very unexpected, and quite frankly bizarre question - to add him on Facebook.</p> <p>The thief also noted he was planning to pay her back.</p> <p>Beraun responded, telling him she “believed” him and that “times just get rough”.</p> <p>Boyce proceeded to ask the woman to “come chill”.</p> <p>He was later arrested by the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department and charged over a separate armed robbery on June 12, where two people got shot and one was hit in the head with a brick.</p> <p>He was also charged with his robbery of Beraun.</p> <p>Beraun said her local neighbourhood has been affected by the terrifying incident.</p> <p>"It makes me a little on edge knowing that people walk up and down the street, looking for places to commit crimes," she said.</p> <p>"It makes it a little different when you hear noises at night."</p> <p>Beraun insisted she "never" thought something like this would happen to her.</p> <p>"He took away my sense of safety from my home."</p> <p><em>Image credit: ABC America</em></p>

Legal

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Transformers trailer sparks fury online

<p dir="ltr"><em>Transformers</em> released a string of teasers and behind-the-scenes footage ahead of the June premiere of <em>Transformers: Rise of the Beasts </em>- but quickly stripped a scene that appeared reminiscent of the September 11 attacks.</p> <p dir="ltr">The seventh<em> Transformers</em> movie in the franchise is set to hit Aussie cinemas on June 22, and <em>Transformers</em> shared an extended trailer that showed the Twin Towers of the World Trade Centre surrounded by black smoke, according to the New York Post. </p> <p dir="ltr">The scene’s evocation of 9/11 shocked viewers and many didn’t believe the image could be affiliated with a <em>Transformers</em> movie.</p> <p dir="ltr">“This image certainly made me stop scrolling,” wrote Twitter user Daniel Kibblesmith, alongside the jarring screenshot from the trailer.</p> <p dir="ltr">Kibblesmith’s tweet attracted more than 2.5 million views in less than 24 hours after being posted.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Transformers’</em> caption read, “It’s about to be epic. Go behind the scenes with our cast and crew, and meet the new characters of <em>Transformers</em>.”</p> <p dir="ltr">As of May 23, the post no longer appears to be on the franchise’s Twitter page. </p> <p dir="ltr">The nearly two-minute teaser features Anthony Ramos, who stars in <em>Transformers: Rise Of The Beasts </em>as Noah Diaz, an ex-military electronics specialist living in Brooklyn, New York.</p> <p dir="ltr">“This is about to be epic. This is about to be epically crazy,” Ramos said in the behind-the-scenes clip. </p> <p dir="ltr">The footage shows a peaceful NYC skyline with the Twin Towers before abruptly cutting to a shot of the Statue of Liberty in the foreground and the World Trade Centre covered in thick smoke in the background.</p> <p dir="ltr">Steven Caple Jr, the movie’s director clarifies in the clip that the upcoming movie is “in chronological order, is the second <em>Transformers </em>movie – it takes place during the ’90s”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I didn’t think that it was possible, but here I am, even less interested than ever in seeing a <em>Transformers</em> movie. They’ve done it again, the mad genii,” one Twitter wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">“This could have been easily avoided if they’d picked literally any other city besides New York,” another tweeted.</p> <p dir="ltr">“That is … an unfortunate shot,” yet another said of the upsetting image, while another said it was “too soon”.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credit: Twitter</em></p>

Movies

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Long-married couples said not to know each other as well as newlyweds

<p>You would think decades of marriage together would give older couples plenty of time to get to know each other but an interesting new study suggests otherwise, finding that couples who have been together for decades are worse at predicting what their partner likes than newlyweds.</p> <p>The study, published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology, tested young couples, aged from 19 to 32, who had been together for an average of two years and older couples, aged from 62 to 78, who had been together for at least 40 years. Each of the 116 participants was presented with a series of descriptions (of foods, movies, house designs and so on) and asked to rate his or her preference and predict how their partner would rate the item. They were also asked to estimate how many of their predictions were correct.</p> <p>And well, overall, we’re not great at knowing what our significant other likes, even though we think we are. Young couples got 42 per cent of their predictions right and older couples only predicted 36 per cent of their partners’ preferences, when both couple groups overconfidently estimated they would get 62 per cent of answers right.</p> <p>“This is surprising because, compared to younger couples, older couples had much more time and opportunities to learn about each other's preferences over the course of their relationship,” the team of psychologist wrote.</p> <p>They suggested that younger couples may be more motivated to understand their partners during the early stages of a relationship.</p> <p>“Another reason could be that older couples pay less attention to each other, because they view their relationship as already firmly committed or because they think they already know their partner well,” said one of the researchers, Dr Benjamin Scheibehenne of the University of Basel.</p> <p><em>Image credit: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

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Divorce led me to my true love

<p><em><strong>Over60 community member, Mary Green, 63, shares her story about how when her marriage suddenly ended after 44 years she found that it was a blessing in disguise.</strong></em></p> <p>"On the Easter weekend of 2012 I was dumped by my husband of 44 years! After a small disagreement I had gone to our holiday flat on a remote golf course outside Melbourne to work on a book fast approaching its publishing deadline. When I messaged that I would be back on Tuesday, he replied by SMS that he had changed the locks.</p> <p>I was incredulous. Marriage is often not easy, but I was about to find out just how tough I was. For the next two months I travelled gypsy style between the golf flat and the tiny new South Yarra studio my second of three sons had just moved into. I have not been inside our family home since.</p> <p>This was the situation I was in when I decided to date. At 63 I just started again. I joined three online dating sites and did not waste time. I booked to meet seven men in the next seven days, apparently breaking all the rules of being cautious and discreet. All seven men were polite and interesting. We had a coffee or met in a wine bar and I had fun, but there was no chemistry. I was just happy being free from my husband.</p> <p>During this time my husband sent my belonging to me on a truck (which I paid for) and when I was sorting through the boxes of files, a page caught my eye. It was the minutes of the golf estate owner’s corporation, and out jumped the name of a man that I had been at school with. Our sisters were best friends in those days. I checked Facebook, and there he was, with three children, seven grandchildren – but I couldn’t see a wife. A bit of messaging banter later, I asked him to ring me.</p> <p>We met up for a drink that turned into dinner and a hug that I will never forget. In my eyes he was still the handsome sporting hero that I had beaten in the high school mixed doubles tennis finals. He was not looking to date. I hoped he would just give me some lessons in online dating. He had been divorced for about 15 years and had two very long relationships with women that he had met on dating sites. He told me that my booking of seven men in seven days was breaking the rules, but also admitted that he had stacked his dates, just hours apart, in order to meet them all. By Christmas 2012 we were a couple in love.</p> <p>It’s been nearly two years since that first date and I am grateful for the internet and the coincidence that we both owned property on the same golfing estate. He plays A Grade, and I try. We are similar in so many other ways that it’s quite spooky sometimes. Our families have embraced each other and the joy of just knowing he is there helps me immensely through what has been a difficult time.</p> <p>Having worked as a support in my ex-husband’s career, and suddenly having to pay bills without a job of my own, led me to Centrelink. They said that I was too old to retrain at no cost, unless I wanted to study Aged Care – something rather peculiar in that thinking, a subsidised course in bookwork software would be more useful and help me save on accountant’s fees. In the meantime I’m setting up my own Facebook blog, called Healthy Ageing. If I can find a good man on the internet, I am optimistic about building a good lifestyle on it too."</p> <p><em>*Names have been changed</em></p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

Relationships

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Rolf Harris' cause – and date – of death confirmed

<p>Rolf Harris’ cause of death has been revealed following the announcement of his passing after a battle with neck cancer.</p> <p>While the information was made public on May 23, his death certificate states he died several weeks ago.</p> <p>On May 11, it was speculated that Harris was gravely ill after an ambulance was spotted outside his UK home.</p> <p>However, it wasn’t until May 23 that his death was confirmed.</p> <p>The date of his death on the certificate was listed as May 10, one day before the ambulance was seen.</p> <p>The cause of death was listed as squamous cell carcinoma of neck – neck cancer – and “fragility of old age”.</p> <p>It was first revealed in late 2022 that Harris had been severely ill and struggled to communicate with people.</p> <p>The gap between the date of his passing and his death certificate allowed the family to hold a funeral for Harris and cremate him away from the public eye.</p> <p>In a short statement released by his family, they said Harris “died peacefully surrounded by family and friends and has now been laid to rest”.</p> <p>Harris lived with his wife of 65 years, Alwen Hughes, 91, who has Alzheimer’s disease. Both needed round the clock care.</p> <p>Private investigator and author William Merrit told the Daily Mail Harris was gravely ill when he saw him in 2022.</p> <p>“Rolf has been very sick. When I saw him he was able to speak to me. He was with it, but he was obviously unwell,” he said.</p> <p>A neighbour also shared Harris’ health had declined after the death of his poodle, Bumble in 2022.</p> <p>“Only carers and nurses, who care for him 24 hours, come and go. I’m told he can’t eat anymore,” they said.</p> <p>Harris was born in 1930 in Bassendean, in Perth’s north east.</p> <p>He was a champion swimmer in his youth before moving to London in the early 50s’, where he studied art.</p> <p>After getting early gigs working as a performer and illustrator for the BBC and ITV, he rose to fame for his art and music.</p> <p>In 2005, Queen Elizabeth sat for a portrait with him.</p> <p>Harris received several awards and honours, most of which were taken away. He had been appointed a Member of the Order of the British Empire in 1968 and was appointed to the Order of Australia (AM), where he later advanced to Officer (AO) in 2012.</p> <p>He was thrust into the spotlight in 2013 after being arrested as part of a UK police investigation into a string of sexual offences. He was also accused of taking indecent images of children.</p> <p>He stood trial in June 2014 and was convicted of 12 counts of indecent assault against four teenage girls between 1968 and 1986, one of which was later appealed. He was sentenced to jail for five years and nine months.</p> <p>Harris was released from Stafford Prison in England’s midlands in mid-2017 after three years behind bars and was rarely spotted in public afterwards.</p> <p>He stood trial again in mid-2017 for separate cases of sexual assault, involving seven complainants aged between 12 and 27 at the time of the alleged incidents. He was found not guilty on three counts and was cleared after the jury failed to reach a verdict on four other counts.</p> <p><em>Image credit: Getty</em></p>

News

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3 things all couples fight about (and what to do about them)

<p>All couples argue from time to time, and it seems that we’re all fighting about the same things. These three issues crop up time and time again, mainly because there’s a deeper meaning than whose turn is it really to vacuum the house. Here are a few reasons why conflicts about money, sex and chores often escalate and how to cool down things down.</p> <p><strong>Money</strong></p> <p>Fights about money are rarely about money. Money is fraught with layers of meaning and often how we see it (and how we handle it) is a reflection of our personal values around freedom, security and generosity. Fights about spending can often be traced back to fears about not having influence in important matters in your life, worries about future security or concerns that your partner does not respect you or your money values. If you find yourself continually arguing about money, rather than focusing on the dollar value of items or pinning blame on who spent what when, talk generally about what role you think money should play in your life.</p> <p><strong>Sex</strong></p> <p>The intimate act of sex can both be a wonderful cementer of relationships or it can be terrible wedge that causes untold relationship tension. Arguing about how often to have sex is often not about the act itself but about our feelings of connection, affection and love. It’s important to remember that just like people change over the years so do desires and intimacy needs. Fluctuating libidos is a factor of life and the way to ensure you’re on the same page as your partner is to communicate. Don’t just expect your partner to instinctively know what you need.</p> <p><strong>Housework</strong></p> <p>It may sound like the most trivial of fights but disputes over domestic chores are less about the tasks and more about the underlying meanings of respect, fairness and worth. When one person feels like the household tasks are not shared or equal, it can unearth negative feelings that the other person does not appreciate them or does not respect them enough to help out. Have an agreement about housework tasks and talk about whether it may have a deeper meaning.</p> <p><em>Image credit: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

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5 essential tips for buying clothes online

<p>It all seems so easy – a few clicks and you can have a pretty pile of clothes (or shoes, bags, jewellery – anything you like really) delivered to your door.</p> <p>But if you’ve ever gotten a bit click-happy with your online shop and then had buyer’s remorse, read on. We’ve got some advice that will ensure you’re left with nothing but five-star reviews for the items you purchased.</p> <p><strong>1. Buy from stores you trust</strong></p> <p>Often we are left dissatisfied when we buy clothes from a brand we don’t know. The fit isn’t quite right, or the quality might be off. Try to point your credit card at labels that you know and love. You’ll know your true size, you’ll know how well the clothes stay in shape after ten washes, and you’ll know you can return it with no hassles.</p> <p><strong>2. Check your wardrobe</strong></p> <p>Often we are attracted to clothes that we think we love, but it turns out we already own something pretty similar. This could explain why you might have five blue and white striped tops (and so perhaps you don’t need another?). Think about whether the items you want to buy fit into your current collection. If you’re buying shorts, do you have some shirts to go with them? If you have your eye on a dress, do your sandals go with it?</p> <p><strong>3. Check the returns policy</strong></p> <p>Many online shopping hubs offer free returns – but it always pays to check the details. Some will only offer store credit, while others offer your money back (no question asked). You’ll also want to be sure that you can either return the items in the post (without paying for postage), or that you can pop in-store to get a refund in person. Don’t get stuck with a bag full of ill-fitting clothes that you can’t easily give back.</p> <p><strong>4. Look for discounts first</strong></p> <p>Many sites offer discounts online, but you have to know where to look to find them. Simply search online for the store name and the word ‘discount coupon’ and you should find a few options to try. Or if you want to save time, download the Honey app, which automatically applies any working coupon available on the web. Then just enjoy the savings.</p> <p><strong>5. Sign up to be notified about sales</strong></p> <p>If there is a brand or site you use often, sign up to the newsletter so that you’re in the loop about big discount sales. Often there are change of season sales, pre- and post-Christmas offers, and more. Stay in the know and plan your splurges accordingly, rather than buying now and then seeing everything half price the following week.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Beauty & Style

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Why it's never too late to start dating

<p>Thinking about getting back into the dating game? It’s a new world out there and going on a date has changed. Here’s what you need to know.</p> <p>Whether you’re looking for love and companionship in your 20s and 30s or your 60s and 70s, dating is a universal experience that remains timeless. You’re never too old to meet someone new, rendezvous for a dinner and a movie, and possibly have something develop into a relationship. It’s just the act of “going on a date” that can change over the decades.</p> <p>If you’re looking to get back into the dating game but aren’t sure what to expect, don’t worry because you’re not alone. Many singles in their 50s and 60s would like to find a companion to share their life with but aren’t sure how to go about dipping their toe back into the dating pool.</p> <p><a href="http://www.valeriegibson.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Valerie Gibson</a>, US-based dating and relationship expert and author of <em>The Later Dater</em>, says dating again doesn’t have to be scary, it’s what you make of it. “Most people just want to have someone in their life who loves them, cares about them, is supportive, fun to be with, interesting to talk to and shares their goals,” she says.</p> <p>“That’s what dating is all about – the search to hopefully find someone with whom you can joyfully and happily spend your later years. You may not find them right away, but the journey through dating while you’re searching can be fun and exciting, and make ageing a fascinating adventure.” With that in mind, here are some tips from Valerie Gibson to get you comfortable with the idea of dating at any age.</p> <p><strong>Dating later</strong><br />While dating is a universal and timeless experience for everyone, it can be different depending on your age. In your 20s and 30s, dating is young, passionate, romantic, and carries the prospect of a long-term relationship leading to marriage.</p> <p>“The pleasure of dating in your later years is that dating is a little more low-key and less energetic, but can be much more meaningful and have a lot of depth and satisfaction, and often a lot of commitment.</p> <p>“Both parties have had relationships/marriages and are well aware of what they want now in a personal connection. Although dating at these lovely ages may not have the same wildfire of that in your 20s and 30s (which can burn out quickly at times), meeting someone new and dating them can be just as exciting at a later age as it was when you were much younger.” However, she adds that a lot depends on your positive attitude, youthful spirit and health as to whether later dating works for you.</p> <p><strong>First date jitters affect everyone</strong><br />One thing that affects singles, no matter their age, is a feeling of nervousness when meeting someone for the first time, particularly on a first date! It can be an intimidating experience, particularly if you haven’t done this in a good 20 to 30 years.</p> <p>The best way forward is to leave your expectations at the door and simply enjoy the experience of meeting and learning about a new person when on your date. Relax, enjoy yourself, learn about the other person and ask questions.</p> <p>“Most people are nervous at that first meeting and often trying too hard to impress. It usually eases on the second date and contrary to most opinions “chemistry” is not necessarily there immediately – it can grow.” If you don’t feel like it’s a good match from the get-go, however, when the time comes politely exit. Always treat people how you would like to be treated in similar circumstances.</p> <p><strong>Winning conversation</strong></p> <p>Whether you’re on a first date or not, there are a few topics you should steer clear of when meeting a person for the first time. It’s generally agreed that religion and politics are no-go zones, since these subjects are too inflammatory and divisive, and certain to make sure there isn’t another date.</p> <p>“I always tell people to not pour out all of their previous problems with their dates, marriages or relationships on the first date, especially any horror stories of your last ex. A person wants to know a little about you and who you are but not your complete life history and all of your life’s disappointments.</p> <p>“Keep it light and basically informative, discuss subjects such as music, books, movies, your travels, food and wine, hobbies, and you can also find out whether you have interests in common which is important.”</p> <p><strong>It’s a digital world</strong></p> <p>The dating game has changed quite a bit over the years, mostly with the arrival of the internet. Meeting someone online through a dating website has become one of the most popular ways where people are now searching for Mr or Mrs Right, particularly singles in their 50s and 60s.</p> <p>“There’s no question that online dating has become the most popular way of meeting someone when you’re over 60. The biggest growing demographic for online dating sites are people 50-plus.</p> <p>“It’s because it can be done from the comfort of your home, there’s some controllable privacy and anonymity to it which older people find reassuring and protective, and it’s the only way to meet hundreds, if not thousands, of other singles in your age group who you would never meet in everyday life – all at the click of a key.”</p> <p>Valerie warns that while there are genuine people looking for love online, you may unfortunately come across others who are not so genuine. Be cautious and if in doubt, ask a friend or family member for advice.</p> <p>While online dating is one great way to meet a partner, other options include through mutual friends, volunteering, joining clubs and groups, taking classes and basically, just getting out and mingling with people. “You’ll never meet someone sitting at home.”</p> <p><strong>Be informed about the new world</strong><br />For those looking to start meeting new people and go on dates, the best way to prepare yourself is to learn as much about the new world of dating as you can. Read books, ask friends (even talk to your children if they’re dating!), do some research and get yourself ready both emotionally and physically.</p> <p>“Always remember you have been through a lot in your life and dating isn’t life threatening after all! Make up your mind that you’re going to enjoy it and enjoy the people you meet, whether or not they are Mr or Mrs Right or someone who fits your long list of requirements.</p> <p>“The people you meet are also probably nervous, just like you, and also looking for someone they might like, can get along with, possibly fall in love with and maybe share their life with or maybe just to share some good times!”</p>

Relationships

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A dating coach’s guide to making a lasting impression with that special someone

<p><em><strong>Monica Parikh is a lawyer, writer, and dating coach. She started the <a href="http://www.schooloflovenyc.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">School of Love in New York City</span></a> to help men and women develop happier and healthier relationships.</strong></em></p> <p>When my ex-husband disappeared, I unexpectedly got divorced at 36 years old. I went back on the dating market--after a 10-year hiatus. Flirting was the best tool in my arsenal (besides an optimistic attitude). Before long, I was meeting men in all sorts of places—the subway, elevators, the gym, and airports.</p> <p>In my coaching practice, I often see women and men who have forgotten how to flirt. Oh, the pity! Flirting adds spicy intrigue to the mundane. If you’re single, it’s a wonderful way to signal availability and interest. If you’re in a relationship, it helps maintain spark and fuels passion. A little simple flirting says to the world, “I’m alive!”</p> <p>Flirtation is simply the art of conversation amped up a notch. I’ve always been a good flirt, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become a better—mostly because I’ve grown in confidence and self-esteem. A few key tips:</p> <p><strong>1. Radiate strength</strong></p> <p>Naked selfies aren’t sexy. Neither is telling your life story on a first date. Real sexiness stems from the ability to tickle the imagination and create intrigue. Less exhibitionism, fewer words, and more confidence fuel desire.</p> <p><strong>2. Smile</strong></p> <p>Smile big and often — it lights up your face and says that you’re approachable and warm. It is the green light that gives others confidence to approach you and start conversation.</p> <p><strong>3. Be playfully combative</strong></p> <p>When we’re attracted to someone, we often veer toward being overly agreeable and conciliatory. Talk about throwing cold water on a spark! Being challenging, feisty, and a bit unpredictable (while still being nice) is very sexy. My partner and I often playfully spar with words. Intelligent banter makes for a very flirtatious (and fun) relationship.</p> <p><strong>4. Create an air of mystery</strong></p> <p>When I was single, a stranger on an elevator once offered to walk me to the subway with his umbrella during a rainstorm. When we arrived, he asked for my number. I demurred, saying that I don’t talk to strangers. (Wink.) He offered his card. I took it but made no promises. He was handsome and charismatic, so I knew he was used to having women chase him.</p> <p>I waited several days (to build intrigue) and sent him a one-sentence email. He responded immediately, admitting that he checked his email constantly for word from me. Not knowing where the other person stands fuels desire. So, hold your cards close to your chest.</p> <p><strong>5. Laugh</strong></p> <p>We’re all a little too serious. Take a ribbing. Give a ribbing. Laugh until your sides ache. Dating and romance are supposed to be fun, after all.</p> <p><strong>6. Tap into your feminine (or masculine) energy</strong></p> <p>I have a serious job as a lawyer during the day, so I make deliberate efforts to tap into my softer side after work. I often go home, take a bath and change clothes before a date. I love jewel-colored dresses, red lipstick, and French perfume. This little ritual “washes” the 9-to-5 off me and helps me tap into a different energy/vibration. Each person’s formula is unique, but spend time figuring out the clothing, style, and rituals that bring about the most authentic and empowered you.</p> <p><strong>7. Ask questions</strong></p> <p>Conversation with a stranger can be daunting. My advice? Show interest in your beloved’s work, hobbies, family, and interests. Sit back and relax while they open up. You will glean key insights. And I guarantee they will remember you as an amazing conversationalist while they have performed the bulk of the work.</p> <p><strong>8. Say a person's name — often</strong></p> <p>My game changed for the better after reading Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. While technically not a dating book, it’s a wonderful guide on how to be a more engaging person. Carnegie says that someone's name is "to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” Pay attention when someone introduces themselves. Repeat their name back immediately. Sprinkle it throughout conversation. Be amazed at the result.</p> <p><strong>9. Show warmth</strong></p> <p>Gently touching someone’s hand or back is a wonderful way to show interest. Be respectful of another person’s space. It’s not about draping yourself all over them (or being clingy), which is a big turn-off. It’s about small signals of interest, respectfully scattered here and there.</p> <p><strong>10. Be original</strong></p> <p>Successful flirting is about being 100 percent you. Personally, I’m an extroverted nerd who loves the public library, backpacking through Asia, Wes Anderson films, and 1970's soul music. Don’t be afraid to stand out from the crowd. Accept that what makes you unique also makes you memorable. That is the most powerful vibrational frequency you can live in — and one that will surely attract an ideal partner.</p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

Relationships