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Woman horrified after man brings his mother to first date

<p dir="ltr">A woman has been left stunned after her crush invited his mother to infiltrate their first date. </p> <p dir="ltr">The young woman took to Reddit to recall the mortifying moment, and to ask users if she was out of line by leaving the awkward date. </p> <p dir="ltr">The 23-year-old began the story by explaining how she matched with a 25-year-old man, who she referred to as Jake, on the dating app Hinge. </p> <p dir="ltr">She explained that the couple had been “chatting for a few weeks, and he seemed like a solid guy — funny, good taste in music, and even remembered I loved Italian food.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“He planned the date at this nice little spot in Dallas, which I thought was sweet,” she added. </p> <p dir="ltr">She continued, “I show up, and everything's fine at first. He's already there, we hug, and he even complimented my outfit.” </p> <p dir="ltr">“But like five minutes after I sit down, this older woman walks in. Jake stands up, waves her over, and says, ‘This is my mom!’ 'I thought I misheard him for a second.”</p> <p dir="ltr">After he introduced his mother to his date, she pulled up a chair and began asking the 23-year-old a slew of invasive questions. </p> <p dir="ltr">“She sits down at the table, all casual, and starts introducing herself to me like this is normal. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there, trying to figure out if I'm being pranked. I kind of laugh nervously and say, ‘Oh, I didn't know you were bringing anyone,’ and he goes, ‘Oh, she just wanted to meet you. Don't worry—it's not a big deal’.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“But it was a big deal because she didn't just stop by to say hi — she ordered wine and stayed. The whole time, she's asking me these personal questions about my job, my family, even if I want kids someday.” </p> <p dir="ltr">“It was like an interview, not a date. Jake barely said anything. He just smiled and kept nodding like this was all normal,” she revealed. </p> <p dir="ltr">The woman then shared that after 20 minutes of the awkward encounter, she decided to leave, and texted Jake that same evening to say she didn’t want to go on another date. </p> <p dir="ltr">She said, “I couldn't take it anymore. I said I wasn't feeling great and needed to leave. I texted him later, saying I didn't think it would work out and wished him well.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Although she thought she did the right thing, she began doubting her decision and questioned if she was in the wrong. </p> <p dir="ltr">The 23-year-old concluded the post by asking, '”Now I feel kind of bad. My roommate says I did the right thing because honestly, who brings their mom to a first date? But my coworker said it was rude to just leave and that maybe his mom was just super close to him or nervous for him or whatever. Was I wrong for walking out?”</p> <p dir="ltr">Reddit users flocked to the comments section and ran to her defence as they slammed Jake for bringing his mother along on the date. </p> <p dir="ltr">One person said, “It's absurd that he would bring her. Unless she needs constant supervision due to some health issue. That is a very strange dynamic. You did what most anyone else would have done. Best of luck.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

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Wimbledon champion calls out commentator's "disappointing" remarks

<p>Wimbledon tennis champion Barbora Krejcikova has called out a commentator for making "unprofessional" remarks about her live on-air. </p> <p>The Czech player was taking part in the WTA Finals in Saudi Arabia, which was broadcast on the Tennis Channel, when the comments were made by commentator Jon Wertheim.</p> <p>The 28-year-old player took to X to express her disappointment over the comments, writing, “As an athlete who has dedicated herself to this sport, it was disappointing to see this type of unprofessional commentary."</p> <p>"This isn’t the first time something like this is happening in sports world. I’ve often chosen not to speak up, but I believe it’s time to address the need for respect and professionalism in sports media."</p> <p>“These moments distract from the true essence of sport and the dedication all athletes bring to the field."</p> <p>"I love tennis deeply, and I want to see it represented in a way that honours the commitment we make to compete at this level.”</p> <p>Wertheim responded to Krejcikova's posts, apologising for his comments and also explaining what happened. </p> <p>"During a Tennis Channel studio show on Friday, I made some deeply regrettable comments off-air," he said.</p> <p>"I acknowledge them. I apologise for them. I reached out immediately and apologised to the player.</p> <p>"What happened? I joined the show by Zoom. In rehearsal we were shown a graphic of a player who had just competed. It showed her at an angle that exaggerated her forehead."</p> <p>"A few moments later, I was told to frame up my Zoom. I looked at the low camera angle and joked that it made my forehead resemble the photo of the player in question."</p> <p>"Someone in the control room chimed in and I bantered back. Though this was a private rehearsal, this exchange inadvertently and without context made it to live air."</p> <p>"I realise I am not the victim here. It was neither professional nor charitable nor reflective of the person I strive to be. I am accountable. I own this. I am sorry."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Artur Widak/NurPhoto/Shutterstock Editorial </em></p>

Legal

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Baggage handler calls out crucial mistake at bag-drop

<p dir="ltr">A ramp agent for a major airline has revealed one crucial mistake that many people make when checking their luggage before they fly. </p> <p dir="ltr">Sharing all the details of the little-known trick on a lengthy Reddit thread, the baggage handler, who has years of experience working with American Airlines, noted an extra step that many people miss to ensure the safe arrival of their bags. </p> <p dir="ltr">"Your bag tag has three 'bingo' stickers with your itinerary on them. Take one off and stick it on your suitcase," the airline worker shared.</p> <p dir="ltr">"This way, even if the bag tag gets torn off at some point, we can still get it to its destination."</p> <p dir="ltr">The stickers look like small barcodes at the very end of the long luggage tag and can simply be pulled off and placed anywhere else on the suitcase.</p> <p dir="ltr">It can also be a good idea to keep one of these small tickets with you, whether on your boarding pass (in an area that doesn’t restrict important information), or simply on an old receipt. </p> <p dir="ltr">That way if your luggage unfortunately goes missing, you have the right barcode and number for your bags to be easily located, wherever they may be. </p> <p dir="ltr">Another thing the baggage handler mentions is the location of the luggage tag. </p> <p dir="ltr">While many signs indicate it should be placed around the side handle (if your case has one), the staff member suggests the top handle is better.</p> <p dir="ltr">"Having the tag on the top handle, which is the one that faces outward on the cart, makes it more likely for mistakes to be caught," he points out.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p>

Travel Tips

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Coldplay bring out Hollywood cameo for Aussie show

<p>Coldplay have shocked the crowd at their Melbourne concert by bringing out a 1980s movie legend to the stage for a surprise cameo. </p> <p><em>Karate Kid</em> Actor Ralph Macchio took to the stage during the show to help the band perform their song <em>The Karate Kid</em>, from their new album <em>Moon Music</em>.</p> <p>Macchio, 62, lip-synched to frontman Chris Martin’s vocals, before the pair embraced warmly in front of the crowd at the sold-out gig. </p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-media-max-width="560"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">NEWS • Karate Kid Actor Ralph Macchio took to the stage during today’s show in Melbourne to shoot the music video for "The Karate Kid". | <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/ColdplayMelbourne?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#ColdplayMelbourne</a> 🇦🇺</p> <p>He lip synced to Chris's voice 🥋🎤</p> <p>🎥<a href="https://twitter.com/coldplaybrasil?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@coldplaybrasil</a> <a href="https://t.co/bWP1YN79G3">pic.twitter.com/bWP1YN79G3</a></p> <p>— Coldplay United Kingdom (@ColdplayUK_) <a href="https://twitter.com/ColdplayUK_/status/1851967580363255983?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 31, 2024</a></p></blockquote> <p>Macchio became a household name in the 1980s for playing Daniel LaRusso in three <em>Karate Kid</em> films, and more recently has reprised the iconic role in the Netflix series <em>Cobra Kai.</em></p> <p>According to a Coldplay fan account on social media, the footage of the actor’s on-stage cameo will be used as a music video when <em>The Karate Kid</em> is released as a single.</p> <p>The famous actor had earlier been spotted in the audience at Coldplay’s Wednesday show at Melbourne’s Marvel Stadium, having flown from New York to attend the gig.</p> <p><em>Image credits: X/Sonia Moskowitz Gordon/ZUMA/Shutterstock Editorial </em></p>

Music

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World’s longest treasure hunt ends as Golden Owl finally unearthed in France

<p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">After more than three decades of mystery and intrigue, the world’s longest-running treasure hunt has come to a thrilling conclusion with the discovery of the elusive Golden Owl. Valued at approximately $240,000, the treasure had captivated the imaginations of thousands since it was first buried in France in the early 1990s.</span></p> <p>The hunt began with the publication of the now-famous book, <em>On the Trail of the Golden Owl</em>, written by communications expert Régis Hauser under the pseudonym “Max Valentin” and illustrated by artist Michel Becker. The 1993 book challenged readers to solve a series of intricate riddles and clues, which, when deciphered, would reveal the owl’s secret location.</p> <p>Despite years of painstaking attempts to crack the mystery, the Golden Owl remained hidden for decades, surviving even its creator. Hauser passed away in 2009, leaving the prize still buried. Michel Becker, who took over the management of the hunt, delivered the long-awaited news on October 3 via an online announcement that sparked a frenzy among treasure hunters: “A potential winning solution is currently being verified.”</p> <p>Two hours later, he confirmed: “Don’t go digging! We confirm that the Golden Owl countermark was unearthed last night.”</p> <p>The treasure hunt’s <a href="https://goldenowlhunt.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">official website was also updated with the announcement</a>, bringing an end to a search that has been both thrilling and, for some, overwhelming.</p> <p><strong>The obsession and madness behind the search</strong></p> <p>For over 30 years, the Golden Owl hunt transcended being just a hobby for many treasure hunters and became an all-consuming obsession. While some enjoyed it as a leisurely pursuit, others were driven to extreme lengths – financially, emotionally and mentally. The search for the owl has been linked to personal crises, including financial ruin and broken marriages. At least one individual reportedly ended up in an asylum due to their fixation on solving the hunt’s riddles.</p> <p>The toll wasn’t limited to individuals. Searchers caused considerable disruption across France, digging unauthorised holes in public and private lands. In one eastern French village, the local mayor was forced to plead with hunters to stop digging around its chapel, while in other cases, searchers brought power tools to banks and even considered destroying structures in the hopes of unearthing the treasure.</p> <p><strong>The Golden Owl’s elusive clues</strong></p> <p><em>On the Trail of the Golden Owl</em> contained a complex series of 11 riddles, each paired with a painting by Becker. The riddles, combined with maps, colours and hidden details, challenged readers to work out the owl’s hidden location.</p> <p>Before his death, Hauser revealed three crucial elements to solving the puzzle:</p> <p>The use of maps: Hunters needed to work with maps to narrow down the search area and use a specific map to pinpoint the final zone.</p> <p>A “mega trick”: This was the key to using the sequence of riddles to locate the final area where the owl was hidden.</p> <p>A final hidden riddle: Once in the final zone, hunters had to uncover one last riddle to lead them to the exact spot of the treasure.</p> <p><strong>Joyous celebration among treasure hunters</strong></p> <p>The treasure-hunting community was overjoyed when the news broke, with many expressing their disbelief and excitement. “Finally – liberated!” exclaimed one fan on the hunt’s Discord forum. Another added, “I didn’t think I’d live to see the day.”</p> <p>As of now, the exact location of the owl’s discovery and the identity of the finder remain undisclosed. However, Becker hinted at the complexity involved in concluding this monumental hunt. “Tons of emotions to manage for all those who are responsible for managing the end of this episode and complex logistics to put in place,” he said in a statement on October 6.</p> <p>For now, the Golden Owl, a treasure that has held a generation of sleuths in its grasp, has been unearthed. Yet, the fascination with its story will undoubtedly linger for years to come.</p> <p><em>Images/Illustrations: Michel Becker</em></p>

International Travel

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Lost touch with someone? Reach out – your friend will likely appreciate it more than you think

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peggy-liu-818769">Peggy Liu</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-pittsburgh-854">University of Pittsburgh</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lauren-min-1354136">Lauren Min</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-kansas-1588">University of Kansas</a></em></p> <h2>The big idea</h2> <p>The next time you wonder whether to reach out to a friend, family member, classmate or other person who’s been out of touch for a long time, go ahead and do it. According to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000402">our just-published research</a>, it’s likely they’ll appreciate it more than you think.</p> <p>In a series of 13 experiments involving over 5,900 participants, we – along with colleagues <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=0Stzf1cAAAAJ&amp;hl=en">SoYon Rim</a> and <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=TZQefJAAAAAJ&amp;hl=en">Kate Min</a> – wanted to investigate whether people accurately predict <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000402">how much their social contacts appreciate being reached out to</a>.</p> <p>In one experiment we conducted, college students wrote a note “to check in and say hello” to a classmate they hadn’t interacted with in a while. Then we asked them how much they thought their classmate would appreciate receiving this note.</p> <p>Next, we delivered these notes to their classmates and asked the recipients how much they appreciated receiving them.</p> <p>We found that the students who received the notes were much more appreciative of the gesture than the students who wrote them had anticipated.</p> <p>Other experiments varied the scenario by involving older adults as participants rather than college students, switching the written message to a small gift – such as cookies or coffee – and comparing how much the sender underestimated the appreciation that an emotionally distant contact would feel compared with a close contact.</p> <p>Overall they yielded the same basic finding: People tended to underestimate how much others appreciated hearing from them.</p> <p>What drives this underestimation? Our results suggest that it’s related to how little the people reaching out factor in the surprise felt by those being contacted. When we asked recipients what they focused on when indicating how appreciative they felt, they reported paying a lot of attention to their positive feelings of surprise, which were linked to how appreciative they felt.</p> <p>Comparatively, potential senders did not report focusing much on recipients’ positive feelings of surprise.</p> <p>It also mattered whether the two parties were already in a close relationship. People’s underestimations were even greater when their contact was a distant acquaintance because these recipients were especially surprised at being contacted.</p> <h2>Why it matters</h2> <p>Many people can name at least one person with whom they would like to reconnect. Taking a new job, moving to a different city, becoming a parent, or the busyness of everyday life – these are just some of the life events and circumstances that can cause people to lose touch. Then, if the desire to reconnect arises on one side, doubts may arise about whether the other person may appreciate being contacted out of the blue.</p> <p>When people consider taking the initiative to reach out, especially after a prolonged period of no contact, they may worry about being rejected. This worry might keep them from reaching out in the first place.</p> <p>Our research lessens this challenge by showing that often, these gestures will be much more appreciated than one might expect.</p> <h2>What other research is being done</h2> <p>Our findings fit within a growing stream of research examining the tendency to underestimate others’ appreciation of various social exchanges. For example, other researchers have found that people underestimate how much <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pspa0000277">others appreciate receiving compliments</a> or <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797618772506">expressions of gratitude</a>.</p> <p>Our work adds to this area by broadening the scope of the contexts in which people underestimate how much social exchanges are appreciated. Reaching out could but need not require giving compliments or expressing gratitude – the gesture can be as simple as checking in with someone to show that one is thinking about them.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/185001/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peggy-liu-818769">Peggy Liu</a>, Ben L. Fryrear Chair in Marketing and Associate Professor of Business Administration, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-pittsburgh-854">University of Pittsburgh</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lauren-min-1354136">Lauren Min</a>, Assistant Professor of Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-kansas-1588">University of Kansas</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/lost-touch-with-someone-reach-out-your-friend-will-likely-appreciate-it-more-than-you-think-185001">original article</a>.</em></p>

Relationships

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Iconic Days of Our Lives star dies aged 70

<p>Drake Hogestyn has passed away aged 70. </p> <p>The<em> Days of Our Lives </em>actor, known for his long-running role as John Black passed away on Saturday after a battle with pancreatic cancer, according to a statement shared by his family on Instagram.</p> <p>“It’s with heavy hearts that we announce the passing of Drake Hogestyn,” the statement began.</p> <p>“He was thrown the curve ball of his life when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, but he faced the challenge with incredible strength and determination.”</p> <p>“After putting up an unbelievable fight, he passed peacefully surrounded by loved ones. He was the most amazing husband, father, papa and actor. He loved performing for the ‘Days’ audience and sharing the stage with the greatest cast, crew, and production team in the business. We love him and we will miss him all the Days of our Lives.”</p> <p>Hogestyn first appeared on the iconic US soap opera in 1986, and played John Black for 38 years. </p> <p>In a statement to<em> Soap Opera Digest, Days Of Our Lives</em> executive producer Ken Corday remembered the actor, who appeared in more than 4,200 episodes of the show. </p> <p>“This is a very difficult one for all of us,” he said. </p> <p>“Hogey was the ultimate team player and there are not sufficient words to express how deeply he will be missed. His impact on our show, personally and professionally, was profound and will forever remain unmatched.”</p> <p>His co-stars and colleagues have also paid their respects on social media. </p> <p>“I’m so saddened by this news,” tweeted Kassie DePaiva, who played Eve on the soap. </p> <p>“One of the kindest people I have ever worked with. What an amazing life he lived. He will be missed. He made the world a better place.”</p> <p>Fellow veteran soap star Nancy Lee Grahn, who plays Alexis on <em>General Hospital</em> tweeted: “My deepest condolences to Drake Hogestyn’s family, friends and fans. What a lovely, lovely gracious man.”</p> <p><em>Image: SplashNews.com/ Shutterstock Editorial</em></p>

Caring

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Olympian's life "a living nightmare" after simple self-check out mistake

<p>A former Olympian has spoken about how her life was ruined after she accidentally failed to scan to items at a self-checkout machine in Walmart. </p> <p>Canadian athlete Meaggan Pettipiece, 48, was arrested on March 28 in Indiana for theft, possession of marijuana and possession of a controlled substance.</p> <p>The charges have since been dropped, but Pettipiece lost her prestigious job as the head coach of the Valparaiso University softball team as a result and says her career and reputation have been ruined. </p> <p>The ordeal began when the self-checkout machine at Walmart reportedly failed to scan the asparagus and ham that Pettipiece intended to purchase. </p> <p>Walmart security saw that she failed to scan the items  — worth a total of $67 — prompting them to call the police despite her having paid $167 for her other groceries.</p> <p>Pettipiece was arrested and when police searched her they found three disposable vapes in her purse, along with two unopened blister packs containing anti-nausea medication Zofran.</p> <p>The former athlete said the vapes did not contain any nicotine or THC, and the anti-nausea pills belonged to an assistant coach who had asked her to keep them in her purse during a softball game, days before her arrest. </p> <p>“We both forgot about them,” Pettipiece told the<em> National Post.</em></p> <p>The outlet reported that earlier this month, her lawyer submitted an application for dismissal that included her account of the incident, proof of her assistant’s prescription, and character reference letters.</p> <p>After reading the application, her charges were dropped by justice officials on September 19, but the damage caused by the incident "changed everything". </p> <p>“It is bittersweet,” she told <em>National Post</em>.</p> <p>“I’m happy, obviously, the charges were dismissed. The sad part is the damage it did to my career. It has changed everything in my life.”</p> <p>Pettipiece resigned as head coach of the softball team shortly after the Walmart incident. </p> <p>"It's been five months, a living nightmare. I lost my career, I lost my job, the life I was building and it's been really difficult."</p> <p>Along with the damage to her career, Pettipiece said the effect on her reputation has been equally heartbreaking. </p> <p>“The softball community is a tight-knit group and it (the news) went through like wildfire,” she said. </p> <p>“You really do learn who the people are that really believe in you and trust you and are truly a friend for you." </p> <p>The former athlete is now living in Ohio with her family, and though the charges against her have been dismissed she is worried the damage "can't be reversed". </p> <p>“The tough thing is, how do you get out to people that you are innocent? And this damage was done for something so ridiculous,” Pettipiece told the outlet.</p> <p>“I’m not sure of the future. For now, I’m going to stay at home and focus on my kids. I’d like to figure out which direction I’m going to go in.”</p> <p><em>Image: Valparaiso University Athletics/ </em><em>ZikG / Shutterstock.com</em></p> <p> </p>

Legal

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"This is horrific": Queen icon calls out convincing scam

<p>Brian May has spoken out after becoming the target of a dangerous scam, urging people to be careful online. </p> <p>The guitarist of iconic rock band Queen was made aware of the scam by a fan, who sent him the TikTok of what seems to be May himself offering concert tickets at a discount. </p> <p>The video, which is actually AI-generated and has nothing to do with May or with Queen, shows the rockstar offering music fans the chance to see a concert from backstage. </p> <p>“I hope you’re all well out there,” says the fake Brian May in the video. “Some good news. Backstage tickets for my next show in your cities are now going for only $800, which were previously $2000. I’m only selecting 10 people in the comments, so if you’re ready to make payment, comment, ‘ready’.”</p> <p>May responded to the post publicly, sharing his horror and anger with fans over the “creepy” video, saying, “My God. This is horrific.”</p> <p>“I suppose this is now so easy to do – and there are always people who will sink to any depths to try to make a quick buck. Disgusting.”</p> <p>He continued, “Thanks for the alert dear (TikTok username) stereojazz. I’ve alerted our team and hopefully we can squash this.”</p> <p>Fans were quick to comment that they had almost been fooled by the convincing video. </p> <p>“That they abuse your beautiful personality for this scam hurts even more and is really scary. I hate it,” commented one. </p> <p>“It is insanely terrifying what AI can do these days,” wrote another.</p> <p><em>Image credits: TikTok</em></p>

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Kate Middleton confirms the end of her chemotherapy

<p>The Princess of Wales has confirmed that she has finished chemotherapy and is now focused on staying cancer free. </p> <p>Kate Middleton, who announced in March that she was undergoing preventative chemotherapy for an undisclosed type of cancer, shared the update on social media with a deeply personal message. </p> <p>"As the summer comes to an end, I cannot tell you what a relief it is to have finally completed my chemotherapy treatment," she began in the video, which was shot last month in Norfolk. </p> <p>"The last nine months have been incredibly tough for us as a family. Life as you know it can change in an instant and we have had to find a way to navigate the stormy waters and road unknown," she continued.</p> <p>“The cancer journey is complex, scary and unpredictable for everyone, especially those closest to you.</p> <p>“With humility, it also brings you face to face with your own vulnerabilities in a way you have never considered before, and with that, a new perspective on everything.</p> <p>“This time has above all reminded William and me to reflect and be grateful for the simple yet important things in life, which so many of us often take for granted. Of simply loving and being loved.”</p> <p>Prince William, Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis all feature alongside Kate in the video, as they're surrounded by nature, with the couple even showing a rare display of public affection. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C_s6SukNNne/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C_s6SukNNne/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by The Prince and Princess of Wales (@princeandprincessofwales)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The Princess said that going forward her focus would be on “doing what I can to stay cancer-free” but was “looking forward to being back at work”, with plans to undertake a light program of engagements until the end of the year. </p> <p>“Although I have finished chemotherapy, my path to healing and full recovery is long and I must continue to take each day as it comes,” she added.</p> <p>“Despite all that has gone before, I enter this new phase of recovery with a renewed sense of hope and appreciation of life.”</p> <p>She then thanked the public for their support, saying how grateful the family were and how they  had “drawn great strength from all those who are helping us at this time”.</p> <p>"Everyone's kindness, empathy and compassion has been truly humbling."</p> <p>“To all those who are continuing their own cancer journey – I remain with you, side by side, hand in hand. Out of darkness, can come light, so let that light shine bright,” she concluded.</p> <p>The Princess of Wales plans to support her family at the Cenotaph in Whitehall on Remembrance Sunday in November and host her annual televised <em>Together At Christmas </em>carol service at Westminster Abbey the following month. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram/ Kensington Palace</em></p> <p> </p>

Caring

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Readers response: What have you had to cut out of your life to cope with cost of living pressures?

<p>As the cost of living continues to rise, many people have had to cut things out of their day to day spending to cope with the financial struggles. </p> <p>We asked our readers what they have had to cut out of their budgets to cope with cost of living pressures, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Wendy Oliver</strong> - We don’t eat out often at all… I spend too much in the supermarket.</p> <p><strong>Christine Brooks</strong> - I've cut out steak, good nutritional foods, TV streaming, entertainment, haircuts, new clothes, pets, pool cleaning, and more.</p> <p><strong>Kerrie Dare</strong> - I limit steak meals. I've stopped my haircuts to every 4 months. Internet is getting chopped. I can only afford exercise classes twice a week. I don't eat as much fruit as I used too. I only buy groceries when on special. One bottle of wine per fortnight. One slice of sourdough in the morning, which means the loaf lasts a week. I turn on my washing machine around every 10 days &amp; I have quick showers. No eating out or take away. Maybe one cup of coffee per week with a friend. Movies once every 6 weeks as a social group. No concerts or clubs. I drive only locally, so a tank of petrol lasts 1 month. No weekends away.</p> <p><strong>Jane Dawes</strong> - No coffees, beauty treatments, hairdresser, eating out, takeouts etc. The trouble is not affording to spend on certain items has a flow on effect for businesses. Everyone is suffering. </p> <p><strong>Lois E. Fisk</strong> - Going out to eat or see movies in the cinema or live plays or new clothes. I shop at the least expensive grocery stores as much as possible, and good cuts of meat rarely happen.</p> <p><strong>Janice Stenning</strong> - Don't go to the hairdressers as often and don't buy as many clothes. </p> <p><strong>Debra Dugar </strong>- Thinking about dropping my extras cover of my insurance. By the time I pay for it, I can't afford the gap you have to pay.</p> <p><strong>Robyn Lee </strong>- Living in my own house. I now live with my family. </p> <p><strong>Rhondda Hughes</strong> - Well, petrol is expensive so I have to really think if I can afford to visit anyone. I can’t eat meat much and even vegetables can be expensive. We have three chickens so they give us eggs but good quality eggs and healthy chickens require money too. Fortunately I live in Perth so, in comparison to other states, it isn’t as cold however the cost of heating is a significant consideration and therefore I just tend to go to bed.</p> <div style="font-family: inherit;"><strong>Felicity Jill Murphy</strong> - Stopped going out to shopping centres. That's where I spend money unnecessarily.</div> <div style="font-family: inherit;"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></div>

Money & Banking

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How fear of missing out can lead to you paying more when buying a home

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/park-thaichon-175182">Park Thaichon</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-southern-queensland-1069">University of Southern Queensland</a></em></p> <p>The property market is a competitive space where finding a nice home, in the area you want, at a price you can afford is a hard ask.</p> <p>With buyers outnumbering available properties, the pressure is even greater causing some would-be buyers to develop <a href="https://health.clevelandclinic.org/understanding-fomo">a fear of missing out</a> (FOMO) and to make irrational decisions.</p> <p>FOMO might make you worry others are finding nicer homes and getting better deals, or that prices will rise to the point where you are priced out of the market altogether. This could cause you to pay too much or to buy a property in an area unsuitable for your needs.</p> <p>Then there is <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/counseling-keys/202103/overcoming-fear-of-making-mistakes">fear of making a mistake</a> (FOMM), which can also cause problems if you’re a home hunter. You might be reluctant to bid or to negotiate because you are afraid of choosing the wrong property or paying more than it’s worth.</p> <h2>Problems caused by FOMO and FOMM</h2> <p>The principles of contagion theory, crowd psychology and the scarcity principle we identified in <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1111/ijcs.12649?casa_token=271MN72XdP8AAAAA%3AfhYF_2yUJtM7KGv5jvFdXn5UsXQLkMcIM_F6hffYa30QaSdRivjf2mhFX-cr5C7ttCuLl1-e2OFYXBA">our research</a> on panic-buying during the pandemic, can be applied to any purchasing decisions. In this instance we applied them to buying properties in a competitive housing market.</p> <p><a href="https://www.communicationtheory.org/contagion-theory/">Contagion theory</a> applies when people act irrationally under the influence of a crowd. <a href="https://www.bestvalueschools.com/faq/what-is-crowd-psychology/">Crowd psychology</a> is similar but relates to how a crowd behaves in certain circumstances, while <a href="https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/scarcity-principle">scarcity principle</a> is the idea if there are fewer items available, their value increases.</p> <p>Each of these can increase the likelihood of several behaviours when purchasing a property. These include:</p> <ul> <li><strong>Underbidding and overbidding</strong></li> </ul> <p>Fearing other buyers might get the house, house hunters might get caught up in a bidding war and end up paying more than planned.</p> <p>Conversely, buyers with FOMM might fear spending too much so bid too low to start with and risk losing the house.</p> <ul> <li><strong>Following the crowd and peer pressure influence</strong></li> </ul> <p>Buyers might feel <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11403-021-00324-7">pressured to buy</a> in a certain area because it’s popular, even if it is not best fit for them. This can lead to paying more for a house just because others are doing the same.</p> <ul> <li><strong>Delaying decisions</strong></li> </ul> <p>FOMM can lead to <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/ijcs.12990?casa_token=ZhJnLBOwVxUAAAAA%3AW5haHZKSA1rFQsRNdvw0liOoyvdxl0OrFR2phkhGfYC6TnWRv9EsnV-N8w52CmcnAVb8X2yU1obpIjKx">taking too long to decide</a>. This delay can mean missing out on good deals or being forced to rush into a decision and end up overpaying.</p> <ul> <li><strong>Avoiding negotiation</strong></li> </ul> <p>Some buyers might avoid negotiating the price or special conditions such as building and pest inspections and finance approval because they fear the seller will reject their offer. This can result in paying more than they need to if there are problems later.</p> <ul> <li><strong>Excessive inspections and appraisals</strong></li> </ul> <p>While inspections and appraisals are important, too many can suggest indecisiveness driven by fear, resulting in wasted money on unnecessary assessments, and more importantly, wasted time and delayed decisions.</p> <h2>Removing fear from the buying process</h2> <p>Start with thorough research and preparation by learning about different neighbourhoods and house prices. The history of properties and suburbs can be found for free on property websites and is a good place to start.</p> <p>Seek professional guidance from real estate agents or financial advisers to help you through the process.</p> <p>Get insights on market trends from an agent from a selling company or bank to help find homes that meet your criteria. Keep in mind these agents will get some form of incentive from your purchase.</p> <p>All the big banks or loan officers can provide free property reports on specific properties or suburbs.</p> <p>Don’t forget to check council mapping and water authority documents to check for potential future road projects and other developments and for an area’s flood rating.</p> <p>Perform due diligence by thoroughly inspecting properties and reviewing contracts to ensure they meet your needs and are a good investment.</p> <p>For example, it is a good idea to hire a home inspector to check for any hidden issues before making an offer.</p> <p>Another common mistake made by most buyers is not asking their <a href="https://www.qld.gov.au/law/housing-and-neighbours/buying-and-selling-a-property/buying-a-home/before-you-start-looking/appointing-a-solicitor">solicitor</a> to check and give suggestions before signing a contract or offer.</p> <p>A solicitor can check the sale contract before you sign, review the disclosure documents, give advice on your mortgage contract, carry out title searches and explain the results and explain how the purchase may affect your liability for land tax.</p> <p>Do some contingency planning by preparing for unexpected price increases and for the presence of other strong bidders to reduce anxiety about making the wrong decision. Setting aside extra funds could help deal with higher than expected prices or unexpected repairs that need doing.</p> <p>In the end, plan well and make decisions without letting emotions take over. Taking your time to find the right home that fits your budget and goals, rather than rushing into a purchase due to fear of missing out or making a mistake.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/233197/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/park-thaichon-175182">Park Thaichon</a>, Associate Professor of Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-southern-queensland-1069">University of Southern Queensland</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-fear-of-missing-out-can-lead-to-you-paying-more-when-buying-a-home-233197">original article</a>.</em></p>

Money & Banking

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Readers response: What are your thoughts on online dating or dating apps for seniors?

<p>When it comes to dating, there are many ways people find their perfect person, and for many that happens online. </p> <p>We asked our readers what their thoughts are on an online dating app for seniors, and the responses were overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Kristeen Bon</strong> - I tried it for a bit, but found the men to be so unrealistic in their expectations. What they say they want and what they REALLY want are poles apart.</p> <p><strong>Helen Smith</strong> - It works great but men really need to look in a mirror now and then.</p> <p><strong>Sue Rowley</strong> - Personally, I’m happy on my own, but if you’re looking for a partner where else is there to meet someone? Pub, supermarket, dog walking? Not many options really, especially when you’re older.</p> <p><strong>Jenny Gordon</strong> - Would not consider it. Would prefer to stay single than see how friends and relatives have been affected by using them.</p> <p><strong>Ali Veldman</strong> - Risky at any age, in my opinion.</p> <p><strong>Diane Derby</strong> - I’d never entertain one. I like being by myself, plus two much catfishing and ghosting to be able to find a decent type.</p> <p><strong>Margaret Godfrey</strong> - Tried it. A dismal failure in a small population. What is the point of men interstate responding when you live a plane flight away?</p> <p><strong>John Coffey</strong> - Met my late partner online, and had a great 10 years. It can be a minefield though.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Relationships

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Who let the wrong dog out? Dad's hilarious doggy daycare blunder

<p>Leigh Terrell entrusted her dad to pick her dog up from daycare.</p> <p>Little did she know that the pup he had with him was not hers, and now the moment she realised her dog had been left behind at the daycare has gone viral. </p> <p>"This is what happens when you let a man pick up your dog from daycare," she captioned the post shared on <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@leigh.terrell/photo/7403459903190289695" target="_blank" rel="noopener">TikTok</a>. </p> <p>She shared a series of text messages between her and her dad, after he sent her a picture of the dog he collected, to which she replied: "Let me see his face haha that doesn't look like him."</p> <p>She then jokingly sent a follow up text saying: "make sure you got the right dog," with no idea that he actually collected the wrong dog. </p> <p>Her dad then sent another photo of the dog, now facing him, and wrote:  "His collar [is] on," and that was the moment it clicked for Terrell. </p> <p> "That's not my dog dad. That is not Archie, you need to go back and switch him out," she replied. </p> <p>It appeared that both dad and the daycare had mixed up the two dogs who looked pretty similar. </p> <p>The father then replied with a photo of Archie, to which Terrell replied: "Alright that's my dog thanks."</p> <p>The video has racked up over 4 million views, and many were amused at the dad's blunder. </p> <p>"The way the first dog is looking out the window for his real dad, too," one user wrote.</p> <p>Another joked: "I'm imagining the first dog thinking 'my name is NOT Archie' as your dad tries to get his attention for a pic lmao."</p> <p>"The way your dad didn't reply, I bet he was panicking and thinking he did not just dognap someone's baby," another wrote. </p> <p>"That dog knew he wasn't supposed to be there" another joked.</p> <p><em>Images: TikTok</em></p>

Family & Pets

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4 ways to cut down on meat when dining out – and still make healthy choices

<p>.<em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/laura-marchese-1271636">Laura Marchese</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/katherine-livingstone-324808">Katherine Livingstone</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a></em></p> <p>Many of us are looking for ways to eat a healthier and more <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-sustainable-is-your-weekly-grocery-shop-these-small-changes-can-have-big-benefits-234367">sustainable diet</a>. And one way to do this is by reducing the amount of meat we eat.</p> <p>That doesn’t mean you need to become a <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-you-should-eat-a-plant-based-diet-but-that-doesnt-mean-being-a-vegetarian-78470">vegan or vegetarian</a>. Our <a href="https://jn.nutrition.org/article/S0022-3166(24)00333-X/fulltext">recent research</a> shows even small changes to cut down on meat consumption could help improve health and wellbeing.</p> <p>But not all plant-based options are created equal and some are <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30744710/">ultra-processed</a>. Navigating what’s available when eating out – including options like tofu and fake meats – can be a challenge.</p> <p>So what are your best options at a cafe or restaurant? Here are some guiding principles to keep in mind when cutting down on meat.</p> <h2>Health benefits to cutting down</h2> <p>Small amounts of lean meat can be part of a healthy, balanced diet. But the majority of Australians <a href="https://cancer.org.au/about-us/policy-and-advocacy/prevention/obesity/related-resources/meat-and-cancer#consumption">still eat more meat</a> than recommended.</p> <p>Only a small percentage of Australians (10%) are vegetarian or vegan. But an <a href="https://www.foodfrontier.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/Food-Frontier-Hungry-For-Plant-Based-Australian-Consumer-Insights.pdf">increasing</a> number opt for a <a href="https://theconversation.com/love-meat-too-much-to-be-vegetarian-go-flexitarian-73741">flexitarian</a> diet. <a href="https://theconversation.com/whats-the-difference-between-vegan-and-vegetarian-225275">Flexitarians</a> eat a diet rich in fruits and vegetables, while still enjoying small amounts of meat, dairy, eggs and fish.</p> <p>Our <a href="https://jn.nutrition.org/article/S0022-3166(24)00333-X/fulltext">recent research</a> looked at whether the average Australian diet would improve if we swapped meat and dairy for plant-based alternatives, and the results were promising.</p> <p>The study found health benefits when people halved the amount of meat and dairy they ate and replaced them with healthy plant-based foods, like tofu or <a href="https://www.heartfoundation.org.au/blog/why-you-need-legumes-in-your-life">legumes</a>. On average, their dietary fibre intake – which helps with feeling fuller for longer and digestive health – went up. Saturated fats – which increase our blood cholesterol levels, a risk factor for heart disease – went down.</p> <p>Including more fibre and less saturated fat helps reduce the risk of <a href="https://www.heartfoundation.org.au/healthy-living/healthy-eating/healthy-eating-to-protect-your-heart">heart disease</a>.</p> <p>Achieving these health benefits may be as simple as swapping ham for baked beans in a toastie for lunch, or substituting half of the mince in your bolognese for lentils at dinner.</p> <h2>How it’s made matters</h2> <p>For a long time we’ve known processed meats – such as ham, bacon and sausages – are bad for your health. Eating high amounts of these foods is associated with poor <a href="https://www.heartfoundation.org.au/healthy-living/healthy-eating/protein-and-heart-health">heart health</a> and some forms of <a href="https://cancer.org.au/cancer-information/causes-and-prevention/diet-and-exercise/meat-and-cancer-risk">cancer</a>.</p> <p>But the same can be true of many processed meat alternatives.</p> <p>Plant-based alternatives designed to mimic meat, such as sausages and burgers, have become readily available in supermarkets, cafes and restaurants. These products are ultra-processed and can be <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-looked-at-700-plant-based-foods-to-see-how-healthy-they-really-are-heres-what-we-found-222991">high in salt and saturated fat</a>.</p> <p>Our study found when people replaced meat and dairy with ultra-processed meat alternatives – such as plant-based burgers or sausages – they ate more salt and less calcium, compared to eating meat or healthy plant-based options.</p> <p>So if you’re cutting down on meat for health reasons, it’s important to think about what you’re replacing it with. The <a href="https://www.eatforhealth.gov.au/sites/default/files/2022-09/n55g_adult_brochure.pdf">Australian Dietary Guidelines</a> recommend eggs, legumes/beans, tofu, nuts and seeds.</p> <p>Tofu can be a great option. But we recommend flavouring plain tofu with herbs and spices yourself, as pre-marinated products are often ultra-processed and can be high in salt.</p> <h2>What about when dining out?</h2> <p>When you’re making your own food, it’s easier to adapt recipes or reduce the amount of meat. But when faced with a menu, it can be difficult to work out what is the best option.</p> <p>Here are our four ways to make healthy choices when you eat out:</p> <p><strong>1. Fill half your plate with vegetables</strong></p> <p>When cutting down on meat, aim for half your plate to be vegetables. Try to also eat <a href="https://theconversation.com/were-told-to-eat-a-rainbow-of-fruit-and-vegetables-heres-what-each-colour-does-in-our-body-191337">a variety of colours</a>, such as leafy green spinach, red capsicum and pumpkin.</p> <p>When you’re out, this might look like choosing a vegetable-based entree, a stir-fry or ordering a side salad to have with your meal.</p> <p><strong>2. Avoid the deep fryer</strong></p> <p>The Australian Dietary Guidelines <a href="https://www.eatforhealth.gov.au/sites/default/files/files/the_guidelines/n55a_australian_dietary_guidelines_summary_130530.pdf">recommend limiting</a> deep fried foods to once a week or less. When dining out, choose plant-based options that are sautéed, grilled, baked, steamed, boiled or poached – instead of those that are crumbed or battered before deep frying.</p> <p>This could mean choosing vegetarian dumplings that are steamed not fried, or poached eggs at brunch instead of fried. Ordering a side of roast vegetables instead of hot chips is also a great option.</p> <p><strong>3. Pick wholegrains</strong></p> <p>Scan the menu for wholegrain options such as brown rice, wholemeal pizza or pasta, barley, quinoa or wholemeal burger buns. Not only are they good sources of protein, but they also provide more <a href="https://www.eatforhealth.gov.au/food-essentials/five-food-groups/grain-cereal-foods-mostly-wholegrain-and-or-high-cereal-fibre">dietary fibre</a> than refined grains, which help keep you fuller for longer.</p> <p><strong>4. If you do pick meat – choose less processed kinds</strong></p> <p>You may not always want, or be able, to make a vegetarian choice when eating out and with other people. If you do opt for meat, it’s better to steer clear of processed options like bacon or sausages.</p> <p>If sharing dishes with other people, you could try adding unprocessed plant-based options into the mix. For example, a curry with lentils or chickpeas, or a vegetable-based pizza instead of one with ham or salami. If that’s not an option, try choose meat that’s a lean cut, such as chicken breast, or options which are grilled rather than fried.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/236505/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/laura-marchese-1271636">Laura Marchese</a>, PhD candidate at the Institute for Physical Activity and Nutrition, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/katherine-livingstone-324808">Katherine Livingstone</a>, NHMRC Emerging Leadership Fellow and Senior Research Fellow at the Institute for Physical Activity and Nutrition, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/4-ways-to-cut-down-on-meat-when-dining-out-and-still-make-healthy-choices-236505">original article</a>.</em></p>

Food & Wine

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It’s hard to reach out to old friends, but doing so may help alleviate loneliness

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lara-b-aknin-1365501">Lara B Aknin</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gillian-sandstrom-1283157">Gillian Sandstrom</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sussex-1218">University of Sussex</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kristina-castaneto-1548733">Kristina Castaneto</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a></em></p> <p>Millions of <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/t1/tbl1/en/tv.action?pid=4510004801">Canadians are lonely</a>. This is worrisome because loneliness, defined by the World Health Organization as “<a href="https://www.who.int/news/item/15-11-2023-who-launches-commission-to-foster-social-connection">the social pain of not feeling connected</a>,” predicts both lower mental and physical health. Research shows that lacking a sense of social connection can pose an <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691614568352">equivalent health risk to smoking 15 cigarettes per day</a>.</p> <p>To combat loneliness, people are commonly advised to seek out social connection. For many, this guidance brings to mind spending time with loved ones, such as close friends, family and romantic partners. But are there other people we can reach out to?</p> <p>In our research, recently published in <em>Communications Psychology</em>, we examined whether people have “old friends” — individuals that they care about but with whom they have lost touch — and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1038/s44271-024-00075-8">how easily these relationships can be rekindled</a>.</p> <p>We found that certain strategies can help people reconnect — and, in new research, we are getting a sense that certain values and personality traits may make it easier for people to stay in touch far into the future.</p> <h2>Reconnecting with old friends</h2> <p>Across a series of seven studies, we found the majority of people reported having an old friend. Yet, when we asked over 400 participants how willing they would be to reach out to an old friend right now, most said they were neutral or unwilling. In fact, in one study, people reported being no more willing to reach out to an old friend than they were to talk to a stranger or pick up trash.</p> <p>This reluctance was observable in behaviour too. We conducted two experiments in which more than 1,000 people were given several minutes to draft and send a message to an old friend. Only 30 per cent sent the message to their old friend.</p> <p>Given that reaching out to an old friend could boost <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/nextavenue/2018/08/19/the-power-and-joy-of-reconnecting-with-old-friends/">feelings of social connection and happiness</a>, we tried designing interventions to encourage reaching out. For instance, we reminded participants that reaching out to an old friend was an act of kindness and that the recipient would appreciate it more than they realize. We also tried telling participants not to overthink it — to just send their message. Unfortunately, neither prompt was effective at encouraging more people to reach out.</p> <h2>Reluctance to reconnect</h2> <p>Why are people reluctant to reach out to old friends? There may be a number of reasons, including the possibility that old friends feel like strangers after time has passed. In one study with over 500 participants we asked people to list between three to five old friends, and tell us how close each one felt to them right now. The more unfamiliar an old friend felt, the less willing people were to reach out.</p> <p>Research has found that when people <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2022.104356">practise talking to strangers for a week</a>, they become less anxious about it. If old friends can feel like strangers, might a similar strategy encourage people to reach out to old friends?</p> <p>To find out, we conducted an experiment in which we randomly assigned some people to complete a three-minute warm-up activity in which they messaged current family or friends. Other participants were randomly assigned to a control condition in which they simply browsed social media for three minutes instead.</p> <p>Afterward, all participants were given an opportunity to write and send a message to an old friend. While only 30 per cent of participants sent their message in the control condition, over 50 per cent did so after warming-up, suggesting that practising the behaviour that underlies reaching out may make this act easier.</p> <h2>Personality traits</h2> <p>We are extending this research in a number of new directions. For instance, in some newly conducted and unpublished research, we are examining whether people with certain personality traits or beliefs are more likely to send a message to an old friend.</p> <p>Responses from over 300 people suggest that people who are open to new experiences — <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/basics/big-5-personality-traits">one of the five key personality traits studied by psychologists</a> — say they are willing to reach out to an old friend. Despite this inclination, our research found that highly open people do not necessarily communicate with old friends when given the chance.</p> <p>On the other hand, people’s values and beliefs may be important determinants of whether they stay in touch. Our preliminary work shows that people who see friendship as a bond that does not easily break may be more likely to reach out than others.</p> <p>We hope this work helps normalize the fact that friendships can fade and be hard to rekindle. That said, with some practice, people can overcome this reluctance and hit “send” to potentially open a path to connection and less loneliness.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/234895/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lara-b-aknin-1365501">Lara B Aknin</a>, Distinguished Professor of Social Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gillian-sandstrom-1283157">Gillian Sandstrom</a>, Senior Lecturer, School of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sussex-1218">University of Sussex</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kristina-castaneto-1548733">Kristina Castaneto</a>, Master's Student, Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/its-hard-to-reach-out-to-old-friends-but-doing-so-may-help-alleviate-loneliness-234895">original article</a>.</em></p>

Relationships

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Distraught wife of cricket legend reveals cause of death

<p>The grieving wife of late cricket legend Graham Thorpe has spoken out after her husband's untimely <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/health/caring/tragic-news-cricket-legend-dies-at-just-55" target="_blank" rel="noopener">death</a>, revealing that he tragically took his own life. </p> <p>After an illustrious cricket career in the UK, Thorpe died on August 5th at just 55 years old, leaving behind his wife and four children. </p> <p>Thorpe had previously been hospitalised in May 2022 following a suicide attempt, but made a full recovery. </p> <p>His wife Amanda has spoken out about her husband's mental illness, sharing how he had been suffering for many years. </p> <p>“Despite having a wife and two daughters whom he loved and who loved him, he did not get better,” Amanda told <em>The Times</em>.</p> <p>“He was so unwell in recent times and he really did believe that we would be better off without him.”</p> <p>She added: “We are devastated that he acted on that and took his own life.”</p> <p>Amanda said Graham had suffered from major depression and anxiety “for a couple of years”, explaining, “Despite glimpses of hope and of the old Graham, he continued to suffer from depression and anxiety, which at times got very severe."</p> <p>“We supported him as a family and he tried many, many treatments but unfortunately none of them really seemed to work."</p> <p>“Graham was renowned as someone who was very mentally strong on the field and he was in good physical health. But mental illness is a real disease and can affect anyone.”</p> <p>Following his sudden death, the England and Wales Cricket Board released a statement that said, “It is with great sadness that we share the news that Graham Thorpe, MBE, has passed away."</p> <p>“There seem to be no appropriate words to describe the deep shock we feel at Graham’s death."</p> <p>“More than one of England’s finest-ever batters, he was a beloved member of the cricket family and revered by fans all over the world."</p> <p><em><strong>Need to talk to someone? Don't go it alone. Call Lif</strong><strong>eline on 0800 543 354 o</strong><strong>r <a href="https://www.lifeline.org.nz" target="_blank" rel="noopener">lifeline.org.nz</a></strong></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Colorsport/Shutterstock Editorial</em></p>

Caring

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Woman “bullied” on plane over budget seating trick

<p dir="ltr">A young woman has recalled a flight from hell when she was “bullied” by a couple who were trying to utilise a seating hack that went viral on TikTok. </p> <p dir="ltr">The solo traveller took to Reddit to recount the story and ask social media users if she was in the wrong for her action. </p> <p dir="ltr">The woman began by saying she usually pays more to select her plane seat ahead of time, but a medical emergency on another plane had her waiting on standby and left with no option other than to sit in a middle seat.</p> <p dir="ltr">When she was finally able to board, she was greeted by a couple who had purchased both the window and aisle seats in a bid to have more space, utilising a travel “trick” that has been popular on TikTok.</p> <p dir="ltr">The method, which has been dubbed the 'poor man's business class', usually leaves travellers with an empty middle seat and more space, and few travellers opt to pick a middle seat. </p> <p dir="ltr">“When I got to my row the man and woman were chatting and sharing a snack... it was obvious they were together. I mentioned to the man that I'm in the middle, and he got up to let me in,” the unsuspecting traveller wrote on Reddit.  </p> <p dir="ltr">“I asked them if they would prefer to sit together, I said I was totally okay with that. The woman reacted rudely to this and said ‘you're not supposed to be sitting here anyway’.”</p> <p dir="ltr">After noticing how the plane was full, she offered to show the pair her new ticket with the correct seat number on it.</p> <p dir="ltr">“She flicked her hand at my ticket and made a disgusted sound. I offered again if they wanted to sit together to which she didn't reply, her partner said it's okay and... made some small talk,” she continued. </p> <p dir="ltr">The man’s girlfriend then interrupted their conversation to ask,”'Did you use one of those third party websites to book your flight? It's so frustrating when people cheap out to inconvenience others.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The American woman explained that she had booked her flight directly and she had been placed on standby like everyone else and didn't choose the middle seat - she was assigned it.</p> <p dir="ltr">She then tried to keep the peace by refusing to engage with the furious woman.  </p> <p dir="ltr">“I was so done with her attitude, I put my headphones on and attempted to do my own thing,” she explained.</p> <p dir="ltr">But the “entitled” girlfriend wasn't letting it go, as the woman explained, “This woman kept reaching over me and tapping her partner and trying to talk to him in a way that was super intrusive.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“I could tell even her partner was trying to engage her less so that she would hopefully stop, but she didn't.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“I think they tried to pull that tactic where they don't sit together on purpose...hoping no one will sit between them. But on full flights it doesn't work. And even so - it's not the other person's fault.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The traveller's post was met with hundreds of comments slamming the girlfriend’s behaviour, as one person wrote, “It's like a toddler having a tantrum.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“She was disappointed and a total a**hole. Gross entitled people,” another added. </p> <p dir="ltr">Another person applauded the traveller’s level-headed behaviour, writing, “Wow! You are my hero for keeping it classy - I’m afraid I would not have been as kind as you.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Travel Trouble

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From maxing out to slowing down, how much do heart rates vary across sports?

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/theresa-larkin-952095">Theresa Larkin</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-wollongong-711">University of Wollongong</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gregory-peoples-1556509">Gregory Peoples</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-wollongong-711">University of Wollongong</a></em></p> <p>A classic image of the Olympics and Paralympics is an athlete at the end of a race struggling for breath, their heart obviously racing.</p> <p>But at the other end of the scale are athletes such as archers and shooters, who need to slow their heart rates down as much as possible.</p> <p>Athletes in speed and endurance events regularly push their heart rate to the maximum. But these athletes usually have low heart rates at rest.</p> <p>What causes our heart rates and respiratory (breathing) rates to change so much, and is this healthy?</p> <h2>When heart rates and respiratory rates rise</h2> <p>If you are still and calm as you read this, your heart is probably beating 60–100 times per minute and you are likely breathing 12–20 times per minute.</p> <p>These are the <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-should-my-heart-rate-be-and-what-affects-it-98945">normal ranges for a resting adult</a>.</p> <p>During physical activity when muscles are contracting, the muscles need more oxygen to provide them with energy to work.</p> <p>To deliver this extra oxygen (<a href="https://theconversation.com/curious-kids-why-is-blood-red-229121#:%7E:text=Haemoglobin%20is%20like%20a%20red,oxygen%2C%20our%20blood%20is%20red.">carried in our blood</a>), our heart pumps blood faster. In other words, our heart rate increases.</p> <p>We also breathe faster to get more oxygen into our lungs to be delivered to the exercising muscles.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/3YOap5k0R_8?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption><span class="caption">Your resting heart rate can tell you plenty about your health and fitness.</span></figcaption></figure> <h2>How fast can our heart rate get during exercise?</h2> <p>Aerobic means “with oxygen”. In <a href="https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/7050-aerobic-exercise">aerobic exercise</a> (“cardio”) you use large muscles repetitively and rhythmically. For example, walking, running, cycling, swimming and rowing.</p> <p>Muscles that are contracting during aerobic exercise use a lot of energy and need ten times <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4551211/">more oxygen than at rest</a>.</p> <p>High intensity aerobic events that involve large muscles or the entire body cause the highest heart rates.</p> <p>An <a href="https://www.heartonline.org.au/resources/calculators/target-heart-rate-calculator">estimate</a> of maximum heart rate (beats per minute) is 220 minus your age. This equates to 195 beats per minute for a 25-year-old – close to the average age of the Australian Olympic team of 26.5 years.</p> <p>Athletes competing in Olympic events of endurance or speed will reach their maximum heart rate.</p> <p>You can usually only maintain maximum heart rate for a few minutes. But in a 2000-metre rowing race, the rowers maintain intense effort at close to maximum heart rate for 6–8 minutes.</p> <p>This is one of the toughest events for the heart. It’s no wonder rowers often collapse in the boat <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-68731840">as they cross the finish line</a>.</p> <p>Highly trained endurance athletes can have a maximum heart rate higher than expected for their age. <a href="https://olympics.com/en/athletes/eliud-kipchoge">Eliud Kipchoge</a> from Kenya is considered the greatest marathon runner of all time. During his <a href="https://au.coros.com/stories?world-record">world record run</a> in the 2022 Berlin marathon, he ran with a heart rate of around 180 beats per minute for almost the entire race.</p> <h2>How does breathing change with exercise?</h2> <p>Our breathing changes with exercise to increase oxygen uptake from the air.</p> <p>At low-to-moderate intensity exercise, you start to take deeper breaths. This brings in more air and oxygen with each breath. However, there is a limit to how much the chest can expand.</p> <p>With higher intensity exercise, respiratory rate increases to increase oxygen intake.</p> <p>Elite athletes can breathe <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4818249/">more than 50 times</a> per minute. This is driven by <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-is-breathwork-and-do-i-need-to-do-it-231192">our diaphragm</a>, the most important muscle of breathing.</p> <p><a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-07-28/paris-olympics-grace-brown-cycling-gold-medal-australia/104151466">Grace Brown</a>, Olympic gold medal cyclist in Paris, <a href="https://inscyd.com/article/grace-brown-olympic-gold-physiology/">breathes close to a maximal oxygen uptake</a> when she is cycling at high intensity.</p> <h2>Some athletes need to slow things down</h2> <p>Archery and shooting athletes perform better with a lower heart rate. They time their shots to be <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3580727/#:%7E:text=Results%20showed%20that%20the%20champion,both%20during%20diastole%20and%20systole">between heart beats</a> when the body is the most still.</p> <p>This is easier with a slower heart rate, with more time between beats.</p> <p>Archers consciously lower their heart rate <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6441821/">prior to shooting</a> by <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6721071/">slowing their breathing</a>.</p> <p>Other Olympians use <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10224217/#:%7E:text=For%20practicing%20slow%20and%20deep,minutes%20before%20starting%20the%20exercise.">breathing techniques</a> to calm pre-race anticipation and high heart rates.</p> <p>Slowing the breath, <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-is-breathwork-and-do-i-need-to-do-it-231192">especially the exhale</a>, is the best way to lower your heart rate.</p> <p>Beta-blockers also reduce heart rate, by blocking adrenaline. This is why they are on the <a href="https://www.wada-ama.org/en/prohibited-list">prohibited substances list</a> of the World Anti-Doping Agency.</p> <h2>What about resting heart rates?</h2> <p>Athletes often have a <a href="https://www.health.harvard.edu/heart-health/is-a-low-heart-rate-worrisome">low resting heart rate</a>, around 40-50 beats per minute, and slower during sleep.</p> <p>Some are even lower – five time Tour de France winner Miguel Indurain famously had a resting heart rate of <a href="https://www.cyclingweekly.com/fitness/miguel-indurain-vs-your-body-34288">28 beats per minute</a>.</p> <p>Legendary US swimmer Michael Phelps is the <a href="https://olympics.com/en/news/michael-phelps-olympic-medals-record-how-many-gold-swimmer-world-record">most successful Olympian</a> of all time – he had a resting heart rate of <a href="https://www.reanfoundation.org/low-resting-heart-rate-and-lifespan/#:%7E:text=Studies%20on%20Athletes%20and%20Low%20Resting%20Heart%20Rate&amp;text=It%20could%20also%20hint%20at,BPM%20throughout%20his%20professional%20career">less than 40 beats per minute</a>.</p> <p>Regular moderate-to-vigorous intensity aerobic exercise makes the <a href="https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/athletes-heart-rate">heart stronger and more efficient</a>. A stronger heart pumps more blood per beat, which means it doesn’t need to beat as often.</p> <p>Exercise also <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12477376/">increases vagus nerve</a> activity to the heart and <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/ncomms4775">slows down</a> the heart’s pacemaker cells. These both reduce heart rate.</p> <p><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6306777/">A large review</a> found endurance training and yoga were the best exercises to reduce resting heart rate. But training needs to be maintained to keep resting heart rate low.</p> <p>When elite athletes reduced their training volume by half during COVID lockdown, their <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/2071-1050/13/5/2970">resting heart rate increased</a>.</p> <h2>What does this mean for our health?</h2> <p>A slower resting heart rate is linked to <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6306777/">longer life expectancy and reduced death from cardiovascular disease</a>. Indeed, <a href="https://bjsm.bmj.com/content/55/4/206">a study</a> of more than 8,000 Olympians from the United States found they lived longer than the general population.</p> <p>So it is healthy to do activities that increase your heart rate in the short-term, whether as an Olympian or Paralympian competing, or a fan with your heart racing watching a gold medal event.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/235594/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/theresa-larkin-952095">Theresa Larkin</a>, Associate professor of Medical Sciences, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-wollongong-711">University of Wollongong</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gregory-peoples-1556509">Gregory Peoples</a>, Senior Lecturer - Physiology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-wollongong-711">University of Wollongong</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/from-maxing-out-to-slowing-down-how-much-do-heart-rates-vary-across-sports-235594">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Body

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Six-year-old denied passport over trademarked name

<p>A mother from the UK has been left "absolutely devastated" after her six-year-old daughter's passport application was denied because she is named after a famous character in the fantasy series Game of Thrones. </p> <p>Lucy, a 39-year-old mum from South West England, told the <em><a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c4ng1xd06xwo" target="_blank" rel="noopener">BBC</a></em> that things went downhill when she started planning their “dream” trip to Disneyland Paris as a family and needed to get her daughter a passport. </p> <p>She said that the initial application to get her daughter, Khaleesi, 6, was unable to be processed, with officials telling her she needed approval from Warner Brothers because they own the name’s trademark.</p> <p>“I was absolutely devastated, we were so looking forward to our first holiday together,” Lucy said.</p> <p>“I had a letter come through from the Passport Office, saying her name is trademarked by Warner Brothers,” she said. </p> <p>“It was the first I’ve heard of such a thing — I was astonished.”</p> <p>After receiving legal advice, the mum learned her daughter was legally allowed to use that name, and forwarded that information along to the Passport Office.</p> <p>“I didn’t understand and felt frustrated. If she could get a birth certificate, would something not have been flagged up then?” she said.</p> <p>“I never thought you could trademark a name,” she added.</p> <p>The Passport Office reportedly later called Lucy to apologise for the error and said they would continue with the process of little Khaleesi's passport. </p> <p>Lucy said she believes the problem was only solved because she complained on social media.</p> <p>“If I hadn’t posted this on social media, nothing would have been done. I would have been stuck, not knowing what to do,” she said, adding that others had reached out saying they’d experienced something similar.</p> <p>Lucy now said she is waiting until her daughter’s passport arrives before booking a new trip to Disneyland Paris.</p> <p>“I am hoping the passport will be issued soon and was promised that they would call back in a few days to see if it had progressed,” she told the <em>BBC</em>.</p> <p>She also hopes her story may help others stuck in a similar situation, saying,  “I think there might be other people in this situation, that they may have had their passports declined recently because of something like this. Hopefully, they now know it can be resolved."</p> <p><em>Image credits: HBO / BBC / Family Handout</em></p>

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