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Woman horrified after man brings his mother to first date

A woman has been left stunned after her crush invited his mother to infiltrate their first date. The young woman took to Reddit to recall the mortifying moment, and to ask users if she was out of line by leaving the awkward date. The 23-year-old began the story by explaining how she matched with a 25-year-old man, who she referred to as Jake, on the dating app Hinge. She explained that the couple had been “chatting for a few weeks, and he seemed like a solid guy — funny, good taste in music, and even remembered I loved Italian food.” “He planned the date at this nice little spot in Dallas, which I thought was sweet,” she added. She continued, “I show up, and everything's fine at first. He's already there, we hug, and he even complimented my outfit.” “But like five minutes after I sit down, this older woman walks in. Jake stands up, waves her over, and says, ‘This is my mom!’ 'I thought I misheard him for a second.” After he introduced his mother to his date, she pulled up a chair and began asking the 23-year-old a slew of invasive questions. “She sits down at the table, all casual, and starts introducing herself to me like this is normal. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there, trying to figure out if I'm being pranked. I kind of laugh nervously and say, ‘Oh, I didn't know you were bringing anyone,’ and he goes, ‘Oh, she just wanted to meet you. Don't worry—it's not a big deal’.” “But it was a big deal because she didn't just stop by to say hi — she ordered wine and stayed. The whole time, she's asking me these personal questions about my job, my family, even if I want kids someday.” “It was like an interview, not a date. Jake barely said anything. He just smiled and kept nodding like this was all normal,” she revealed. The woman then shared that after 20 minutes of the awkward encounter, she decided to leave, and texted Jake that same evening to say she didn’t want to go on another date. She said, “I couldn't take it anymore. I said I wasn't feeling great and needed to leave. I texted him later, saying I didn't think it would work out and wished him well.” Although she thought she did the right thing, she began doubting her decision and questioned if she was in the wrong. The 23-year-old concluded the post by asking, '”Now I feel kind of bad. My roommate says I did the right thing because honestly, who brings their mom to a first date? But my coworker said it was rude to just leave and that maybe his mom was just super close to him or nervous for him or whatever. Was I wrong for walking out?” Reddit users flocked to the comments section and ran to her defence as they slammed Jake for bringing his mother along on the date. One person said, “It's absurd that he would bring her. Unless she needs constant supervision due to some health issue. That is a very strange dynamic. You did what most anyone else would have done. Best of luck.” Image credits: Shutterstock

Relationships

I spoke to 100 Japanese seniors, and learnt the secret to a good retirement is a good working life

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/shiori-shakuto-1537774">Shiori Shakuto</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> What makes a good retirement? I’ve <a href="https://www.pennpress.org/9781512827088/after-work/">been researching</a> the lives of “silver backpackers”: Japanese seniors who embark on a later-life journey of self-discovery. Many experienced Japan’s high-growth economy, characterised by rigid gender roles. For many men who worked as iconic cultural figures of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salaryman">sarariiman</a> (white collar workers), excessive working hours were normalised and expected. Their absence from home was compensated by their female partners, many full-time stay-at-home mothers. Entering their 60s meant either retirement from work, or children leaving home. For men and women, retirement is understood as an opportunity to live a life for themselves, leading to a journey of self-discovery. <h2>Dedicating life to work</h2> I interviewed more than 100 older Japanese women and men and found a significant disparity in the quality of life between them. Japanese retired men who led a work-oriented life struggled to find meaning at the initial stages of retirement. One man I spoke to retired at the age of 60 from a large trading company. He was a successful businessman, having travelled the world and held various managerial positions in the company. His wife looked after the children most of the time. They bought a house with a yard in a suburb so the children could attend a good school. It significantly increased his commute, and further reduced his time with children. He also worked on weekends. He barely had time to develop his hobbies or get to know his neighbours. He idealised his retirement as a time to finally spend with his family and develop his own hobbies. When he retired, however, he realised that he and his family didn’t have any common topics of conversation. Through decades of excessive hours spent at work away from home, the rest of the family established a routine that did not include him. Taking up new hobbies at the age of 60 was not as easy as he thought, nor was making new friends at this age. “I became a nureochiba,” he lamented. Nureochiba refers to the wet fallen leaves that linger and are difficult to get rid of. The term is commonly used to describe retired men with no friends or hobbies who constantly accompany their wives. The retirement for many former sarariiman was characterised by boredom – having nowhere to go to or having nothing to do. The sense of boredom led to a sense of isolation and low confidence in old age. Many older Japanese men I spoke to lament not having built a connection with their children or communities at a younger age. <h2>Dedicating life to family and community</h2> Older Japanese women I spoke with were more well-connected with their children and local communities in later life. Many were in regular contact with their children through visits, phone calls and messages. Some continued to care for them by providing food or by looking after grandchildren. Children very much appreciated them. Many older women who had been full-time stay-at-home mothers had already taken up hobbies or volunteering activities at community organisations, and they could accelerate these involvements in their old age. Even women who worked full-time seemed to maintain better connections with their family members because working excessively away from home was simply not possible for them. Older men relied on these women’s networks and activities conducted at the scales of home and communities – from caring for others to pursuing hobbies – to enact a meaningful retirement. The sense of connection with family and communities, not to mention their husbands’ reliance on them, led to a high confidence and wellbeing among older women. I saw many instances where older women preferred spending time with their female friends than their retired husbands and embarked on adventurous trips alone. One woman went on a three-month cruise alone. Feeling liberated, she sent a fax message to her husband from the ship: “When I get off this ship, I will devote the rest of my life to myself. You will have to take care of your own mother.” Upon disembarking, she moved to Malaysia to start her second life. <h2>The silver backpackers</h2> Malaysia has become a popular destination for silver backpackers looking to embark on a journey of self-discovery. Some travel as couples, while others go alone, regardless of their marital status. For many male silver backpackers I spoke to, moving to Malaysia offers a second chance at life to make new friends, find hobbies and, most importantly, start anew with their partners. For many female silver backpackers, visiting Malaysia means being able to enjoy an independent lifestyle while having the security of friends and family in Malaysia and Japan. The experiences of older Japanese men and women can be translated into the experiences of anyone who spent excessive hours at work and those who spent more time cultivating relationships outside of work. The activities of the latter group are not as valued in a society that narrowly defines productivity. However, my research shows that it is their activities that carry more value in old age. Are you under pressure to work long hours? If you can, turn off your phone and computer. Instead of organising events for work, organise a dinner with your family and friends. Take up a new hobby in your local community centres. You can change how you work and live now for a better old age.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/238571/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/shiori-shakuto-1537774">Shiori Shakuto</a>, Lecturer in Anthropology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/i-spoke-to-100-japanese-seniors-and-learnt-the-secret-to-a-good-retirement-is-a-good-working-life-238571">original article</a>.

Retirement Life

Five signs in your senior pet you shouldn’t ignore

Just like humans, pets can become susceptible to health complications as they age. Cats are considered senior at around 11 years, and many dogs are considered senior from about seven years old, depending on their breed. As your furry friends get older, it's important to look out for these five changes in your pet, because if caught early, addressing them promptly may significantly improve their well-being, lifespan and quality of life. Dramatic weight changes If your pet either loses or gains weight dramatically, it’s time to book an appointment at the vets. Significant weight changes can signal issues such as heart disease, diabetes, liver disease, or alterations in metabolism and muscle tone, which are sometimes associated with ageing. Increased thirst An increase in thirst, and in turn an increase in urination, could be the sign of several health conditions such as kidney disease or diabetes. Addressing these symptoms early can help manage the condition and drastically improve your pet's quality of life. Changes in appetite Several health problems in pets can manifest in a change of appetite, whether it's a decrease or increase in hunger. Changes in appetite might be due to dental issues, gastrointestinal problems, diabetes or more severe conditions like cancer. Signs of chronic pain Chronic pain can present in pets in many different ways, such as Repeated chewing, biting, or scratching at a specific area, altered activity levels, reluctance to move or jump, or poor response to medications. If your furry friend looks like they are struggling to move, or are slower when getting up and down, it's time to schedule a trip to the vet. Changes in demeanour As pets age, they can experience similar symptoms to humans, such as changes in vision, hearing and general confusion. Some pets can even experience dementia, with symptoms including anxiety, aimless wandering, decreased appetite, and notable shifts in behaviour. Although there is no cure, management is possible through medication, dietary adjustments, and lifestyle changes and available under veterinary guidance. Image credits: Shutterstock

Family & Pets

Readers response: What advice would you give to seniors looking to start a new relationship?

When entering the dating world, there are always nerves, expectations and excitement at any age. But when it comes to dating and starting new relationships in your senior years, priorities can be skewed, and meeting someone can be nerve-wracking. We asked our readers what advice they would you give to seniors looking to start a new relationship, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. Judy Chappell - Don’t! Nothing better than independence & freedom late in life after 63 years married. I have my kids, grandkids, great grandies & great friends that’s enough for me. Don’t need another male around. Jan Heggie - If it feels right, do it. If it doesn’t feel right after a while, leave. Life is too short to not enjoy it. Karen Simpson Nikakis - Put legals in place to protect your assets, do not cohabit or marry, and split all bills. Lois Hone - Be true to yourself. Choose someone who completes you, the one person you feel you can’t live without. The one person, who makes you smile, laugh and is still there when you are sad and hurt and wants to support you. Oh and if they like to cook and clean as well, go for it! Julie Fauser - Live each in your own home. Marilyn Langelaar - Do not compare to previous partner. Janet Olsson - Be careful. Don't rush into anything. Lynn Dilley - Just go for it if you are happy and feel safe, but keep your money and documents to yourself. Merle Finlayson - Go for it! It’s never too late. Margot R McCamley - Enjoy the relationship, but there are always buts so tread carefully. Think it through thoroughly, but don't dismiss it as folly. Image credits: Shutterstock

Relationships

Readers response: What are your thoughts on online dating or dating apps for seniors?

When it comes to dating, there are many ways people find their perfect person, and for many that happens online. We asked our readers what their thoughts are on an online dating app for seniors, and the responses were overwhelming. Here's what they said. Kristeen Bon - I tried it for a bit, but found the men to be so unrealistic in their expectations. What they say they want and what they REALLY want are poles apart. Helen Smith - It works great but men really need to look in a mirror now and then. Sue Rowley - Personally, I’m happy on my own, but if you’re looking for a partner where else is there to meet someone? Pub, supermarket, dog walking? Not many options really, especially when you’re older. Jenny Gordon - Would not consider it. Would prefer to stay single than see how friends and relatives have been affected by using them. Ali Veldman - Risky at any age, in my opinion. Diane Derby - I’d never entertain one. I like being by myself, plus two much catfishing and ghosting to be able to find a decent type. Margaret Godfrey - Tried it. A dismal failure in a small population. What is the point of men interstate responding when you live a plane flight away? John Coffey - Met my late partner online, and had a great 10 years. It can be a minefield though. Image credits: Shutterstock

Relationships

Are you up to date with your COVID, flu and other shots? It might depend on who your GP is

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peter-breadon-1348098">Peter Breadon</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/grattan-institute-1168">Grattan Institute</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anika-stobart-1014358">Anika Stobart</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/grattan-institute-1168">Grattan Institute</a> Too many older Australians are <a href="https://grattan.edu.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/A-fair-shot-How-to-close-the-vaccination-gap-Grattan-Institute-Report.pdf">missing out</a> on recommended vaccinations for COVID, flu, shingles and pneumococcal that can protect them from serious illness, hospitalisation and even death. A new <a href="https://grattan.edu.au/">Grattan Institute report</a> shows vaccination rates vary widely from GP to GP, highlighting an important place to look for opportunities to boost vaccination. Many people get vaccinated at pharmacies, and those vaccinations are counted in our analysis. But we looked at GPs because they have a unique role overseeing someone’s health care, and an important role promoting vaccination. We found that for some GPs, nine in ten of their older patients were vaccinated for flu. For others, the rate was only four in ten. The differences for shingles and COVID were even bigger. For pneumococcal disease, there was a 13-fold difference in GPs’ patient vaccination rates. While some variation is inevitable, these differences are large, and they result in too many people missing out on recommended vaccines. <h2>Some GPs treat more complex patients</h2> A lot of these differences reflect the fact that GPs see different types of patients. Our research shows older people who aren’t proficient in English are up to 15% less likely to be vaccinated, even after other factors are taken into account. And the problem seems to be getting worse. COVID vaccination rates for people 75 years and older fell to just 36% in May 2024. But rates were even lower – a mere 11% – for people who don’t speak English proficiently, and 15% for those who speak a language other than English at home. Given these results, it’s no surprise that GPs with fewer patients who are vaccinated also have more patients who struggle with English. For GPs with the lowest vaccination rates, one-quarter of their patients aren’t proficient in English. For GPs with the highest vaccination rates, it is only 1%. GPs with fewer vaccinated patients also saw more people who live in rural areas, are poorer, didn’t go to university, and don’t have regular access to a GP, all of which reduce the likelihood of getting vaccinated. Many of these barriers to vaccination are difficult for GPs to overcome. They point to structural problems in our health system, and indeed our society, that go well beyond vaccination. But GPs are also a key part of the puzzle. A <a href="https://www.ijidonline.com/article/S1201-9712(14)01379-4/fulltext">strong</a> <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/21645515.2020.1780848">recommendation</a> from a GP can make a big difference to whether a patient gets vaccinated. <a href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/primary-health-care/general-practice-allied-health-primary-care">Nearly all</a> older Australians visit a GP every year. And some GPs have room for improvement. <h2>But GPs seeing similar patients can have very different vaccination rates</h2> We compared GPs whose patients had a similar likelihood of being vaccinated, based on a range of factors including their health, wealth and cultural background. Among the GPs whose patients were least likely to get a flu vaccination, some saw less than 40% of their patients vaccinated, while for others in that group, the rate was over 70%. Among GPs with patients who face few barriers to vaccination, the share of their patients who were vaccinated also varied widely. Even within neighbourhoods, GP patient vaccination rates vary a lot. For example, in Bankstown in Sydney, there was a seven-fold difference in COVID vaccination rates and an 18-fold difference for pneumococcal vaccination. Not everything about clinics and patients can be measured in data, and there will be good reasons for some of these differences. But the results do suggest that some GPs are beating the odds to overcome patient barriers to getting vaccinated, while other GPs could be doing more. That should trigger focused efforts to raise vaccination rates where they are low. <h2>So what should governments do?</h2> A comprehensive national reform agenda is <a href="https://grattan.edu.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/A-fair-shot-How-to-close-the-vaccination-gap-Grattan-Institute-Report.pdf">needed to increase adult vaccination</a>. That includes clearer guidance, national advertising campaigns, SMS reminders, and tailored local programs that reach out to communities with very low levels of vaccination. But based on the big differences in GPs’ patient vaccination rates, Australia also needs a three-pronged plan to help GPs lift older Australians’ vaccination rates. First, the way general practice is funded needs to be overhauled, providing more money for the GPs whose patients face higher barriers to vaccination. Today, clinics with patients who are poorer, sicker and who struggle with English tend to get less funding. They should get more, so they can spend more time with patients to explain and promote vaccination. Second, GPs need to be given data, so that they can easily see how their vaccination rates compare to GPs with similar patients. And third, Primary Health Networks – which are responsible for improving primary care in their area – should give clinics with low vaccination rates the help they need. That might include running vaccination sessions, sharing information about best practices that work in similar clinics with higher vaccination rates, or offering translation support. And because pharmacies also play an important role in promoting and providing vaccines, governments should give them data too, showing how their rates compare to other pharmacies in their area, and support to boost vaccination uptake. These measures would go a long way to better protect some of the most vulnerable in our society. Governments have better data than ever before on who is missing out on vaccinations – and other types of health care. They shouldn’t miss the opportunity to target support so that no matter where you live, what your background is, or which GP or pharmacy you go to, you will have the best chance of being protected against disease.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/234175/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peter-breadon-1348098">Peter Breadon</a>, Program Director, Health and Aged Care, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/grattan-institute-1168">Grattan Institute</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anika-stobart-1014358">Anika Stobart</a>, Senior Associate, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/grattan-institute-1168">Grattan Institute</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/are-you-up-to-date-with-your-covid-flu-and-other-shots-it-might-depend-on-who-your-gp-is-234175">original article</a>.

Body

10 ways to cruise as a senior

Just because you’re older, that doesn’t mean you can’t experience all that a cruising holiday has to offer. Follow our simple tips for a fun filled holiday on the water. 1. Choose the right ship Cruise ships today carry anywhere from six to 6,000 people. The larger megaliners tend to be geared towards families with plenty of crazy rides and high-energy activities. They’ll also probably be crowded with kids. Smaller boutique ships operate at a slower pace and are generally stocked with an older crowd. Do your research and find one to suit you. 2. And the right cabin Do you need an accessible cabin? Do you want to reduce walking with a cabin close to the elevators? Is it important for you to have some outside space of your own? These are all important questions that you’ll need to answer when you book. The right cabin can make or break a cruise. 3. Pick an appropriate itinerary You’ll need to decide if you want to visit new places every day or spend more time onboard the ship. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. Port heavy itineraries, where you’re stopping at a new destination every day, can be tiring. On the other hand, you might get bored with too many days at sea. Think realistically about your needs and make the right choice for you. 4. Research your dates One of the best things about being a senior traveller is that you are (generally) no longer bound by things like school holidays. By avoiding these times you’ll not only save money, you won’t be on a ship with an unusually high proportion of children. When cruising in the Caribbean, you’ll also need to keep in mind the US college holidays so you’re not trapped with a bunch of boozy spring breakers. 5. Allow extra time It’s a sad fact of ageing that you’re not as quick on your feet as you used to be. That means you’ll need to factor in extra time for just about everything. Ships can be huge, so you don’t want to be rushing to make a dinner reservation or spa appointment. This applies on shore too. If you’re really late, the ship will leave without you so don’t cut it too fine. 6. Choose the right shore excursions Before you book, have a chat with the shore excursions team and get a good idea of the physical requirements. What they consider minimal walking might not be the same as what you consider minimal walking. These tours aren’t cheap, so you want to be sure that you can enjoy everything it involves. 7. Look at onboard activities You might not want to get off at every port (which can be exhausting) but still want to be entertained onboard. And adventurous activities like skydiving simulators and giant waterslides may not be your thing any more. Many cruise lines offer fantastic enrichment programs onboard where you can listen to world-class lecturers, learn new skills or watch performances from the likes of the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts or the Lincoln Centre. 8. Give yourself time to relax You’re on holiday! If you want to spend a day in bed, watching movies and ordering room service then do exactly that. Don’t feel any pressure to be up and about every day. 9. Travel with the right companions Solo, couple, friends or family, there’s a cruise for every group. Cruising is hugely popular with multi-generational groups as there something for everyone to do, but it might not make for the most relaxing holiday. If you’re a solo traveller, you can book a single cabin all to yourself or find a room mate with any number of matching services. Just think carefully – because once you’re onboard with your travel buddy, there’s no getting off. 10. Think about medical care Be realistic about any medical needs you may have. Most ships have a decent medical centre, but if you are spending multiple days at sea or cruising to very remote destinations and something happens it might not be enough to help you. If you are concerned, choose cruises that stay close to shore or visit developed countries where you can get proper treatment quickly. Image credits: Shutterstock

Cruising

"Am I being too sensitive?": Woman's dilemma after partner forgets 60th birthday

A woman has shared her dilemma on how to approach her partner of 30 years, after he forgot her 60th birthday. "It's my 60th birthday today, and my partner of 30 years has not acknowledged it. Should I tell him?" she titled her post on Reddit. "It's my actual birthday today, and whilst we have planned a big party for next weekend, when I woke up this morning I expected a 'Happy Birthday!' and a smile," she continued. "I didn't get anything. He started my coffee but he does that almost every morning. "At first I thought maybe he forgot but now I am thinking that he thinks he doesn't have to say anything because we are having a big party this weekend. "Am I being too sensitive? Should I tell him? If so, how?" she asked in her post. Hundreds of Reddit users took to the comments to share their thoughts on how to approach the situation, with a few sharing crafty solutions of their own. "I'd make a joke of it. 'I can't believe they moved my birthday!' Or 'I saw on the TV we should ask easy questions to check for dementia- I'll ask you first, when's my birthday?'" one user playfully suggested. "I'm going to say the absolute minimum I'd expect for ANY birthday is my wife wishing me a Happy Birthday. Don't let it fester and ruin your day - just ask him about it" another added. One user saw the bright side of things and said: "He's handed you the best birthday present of all - the opportunity to use this against him for the next twenty years. "I'd be rubbing my hands with glee. Happy Birthday!" "Happy Birthday. Go out and buy a large cake. Eat it all yourself. Nobody need ever know" to which she responded: "there is a Costco not that far away. Go big or go home." Another Redditor came up with an elaborate plan on how she could get her partner's attention. "Purchase this 'Acknowledge Me' t-shirt of WWE wrestle Roman Reigns. Then write 'Birthday' on a piece of card and use some tape to stick on the t-shirt. 'Acknowledge Me Birthday.' Then just wear it around the house," they said. The woman was onboard with the plan, but luckily she didn't need to apply any of their crafty solutions and shared an update. "He just came up to my home office and gave me a big hug, admitting he had forgotten because he was so focussed on both work and next weekend's party," she wrote. "He apologised sheepishly, which was exactly the best outcome possible. Now I have both my birthday acknowledged as well as a fine story and/or bit of ammo to be saved for another day. "So there you go. I've cancelled the 'acknowledge me' t-shirt order, and shall now share my Costco cake with him instead of eating it from across the table, glaring. "Thank you everyone for the very fine passive aggressive suggestions which made me smile. Much appreciated!" Image: Getty

Relationships

Senior changes will to leave fortune to pets instead of family

An elderly woman in China has decided to leave her $A4.3 million fortune to her pets instead of her three children, after she claims they never visited or took care of her when she was sick. The Shanghai woman, known by her last name Liu, drafted the will a few years ago according to the <a href="https://www.scmp.com/news/people-culture/trending-china/article/3248592/elderly-china-woman-leaves-us28-million-assets-beloved-pets-instead-children-who-never-visited-even" target="_blank" rel="noopener">South China Morning Post</a>. However, as her three children rarely contacted her, and left her on her own while she was sick, Liu decided her cats and dogs were more deserving of her multi-million dollar fortune, and changed her will. Chen Kai, an official from the China’s Will Registration Centre headquarters, told her that leaving her entire inheritance to animals is illegal in China, but there is a way for her to ensure her pets get taken care of. “Liu’s current will is one way, and we would have advised her to appoint a person she trusts to supervise the vet clinic to ensure the pets are properly cared for,” he told the South China Morning Post. Another official added that Liu could always change her mind, if her children changed their attitude. “We told Auntie Liu that if her children change their attitude towards her, she could always alter her will again,” the official said. Image: Getty

Family & Pets

Two senior royals undergo surgery

King Charles and Kate Middleton have postponed their public duties following news that they are both being admitted to hospital for surgery. The news of both procedures were announced within hours of each other, with the Princess of Wales first announcing that had been admitted into hospital for a planned surgery. “Her Royal Highness The Princess of Wales was admitted to The London Clinic yesterday for planned abdominal surgery,” the statement from Kensington Palace read. The surgery was successful and the princess is expected to remain in hospital for 10 to 14 days before returning home to recover. No other details regarding the surgery were given, but a palace spokesmen has revealed that the condition was non-cancerous. “The Princess of Wales appreciates the interest this statement will generate,” the statement added. “She hopes that the public will understand her desire to maintain as much normality for her children as possible; and her wish that her personal medical information remains private.” The palace added that they will “only provide updates on Her Royal Highness’ progress when there is significant new information to share.” <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/C2NDoYrN-9r/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C2NDoYrN-9r/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by The Prince and Princess of Wales (@princeandprincessofwales)</a> </div> </blockquote> Based on the medical advice, the royal will be out of public duty until after easter, which falls on the 31st of March. They also added that Prince William will also postpone several engagements while his wife is recovering. Less than two hours after the shock announcement, Buckingham Palace revealed that King Charles will also head to hospital next week for a “corrective procedure” on an enlarged prostate. “His Majesty’s condition is benign and he will attend hospital next week for a corrective procedure," the statement read. “The King’s public engagements will be postponed for a short period of recuperation.” Benign prostate enlargement is not a sign of a cancer or a risk of cancer occurring, with one in three men over the age of 50 having symptoms of an enlarged prostate. While few details of Kate's condition were made public, His Royal Highness was keen to share information and encourage other men experiencing symptoms to get their conditions checked. Image: Getty

Caring

"I just don't like old skin": Jane Fonda's bizarre confession

Jane Fonda has made an unusual confession about her dating life, explaining why she would only date people of a certain age. The Hollywood legend, 85, has been married three times throughout her life: first to director Roger Vadim from 1965 to 1973, then to activist Tom Hayden from 1973 to 1990, and finally to CNN founder Ted Turner from 1991 to 2001. Fonda is currently single, but doesn't plan on staying that way. Despite being open to finding love, the actress has a very specific criteria for potential suitors to meet before agreeing to a date. On the Absolutely Not podcast, the Oscar winner initially suggested she was done with men for good, saying, “I’m done, I’m over, I’m [almost] 86 years old, even in the dark I wouldn’t want to be naked in front of anybody.” But she then went on to confess that there’s still a chance she could fall for a man, but they would just have to be substantially younger. “And here’s another thing, I’m ashamed to say this, if I were to take a lover, he’d have to be 20. Because I don’t like old skin,” said Fonda. She continued, “And consequently, I don’t want to foist that on anybody else. I assume other people are like me, I just don’t like old skin.” “I disapprove of 86-year-old men with 20-year-old women, so I’m not going to repeat it. I can ogle them, and I can’t pretend that I don’t get turned on if I see a certain kind of a person, but no, no, no, I don’t want to force that on anybody.” Her confession has been criticised on social media, with some suggesting the star would be “cancelled” if it was a man that had said the same about young women. “This is seriously weird,” tweeted one fan, while another said: “But an 85 year old man wanting to date a 20 year old woman is disgusting? Am I right?” Image credits: Getty Images

Relationships

Why these dog breeds are ideal for seniors

Reasons why dogs are good for seniors Affectionate, loyal, nurturing: There are lots of reasons why dogs make great companions for seniors. Not only do dogs provide comfort and friendship, but they also help keep seniors healthy and encourage sociability. In fact, a 2019 study found that people who owned dogs were more likely to maintain better heart health and be more active, than those without pets. “Dogs give seniors a reason to get up and move – and walking a dog keeps them fit,” explains veterinarian Dr Anita Kinscher-Juran. Another plus: When you get out of the house for that walk, you have more chances to be social, too, from greeting neighbours on the street to impromptu conversations with fellow dog owners. But adopting a dog is a big decision. Just like with a human companion, you need to understand what you’re looking for in a dog before committing to a long-term living arrangement. Some important points to think about as you search for the best dogs for seniors are energy levels (vets often recommend calm dog breeds for older folks), the size of your home (<a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/pets/13-best-apartment-dogs" target="_blank" rel="noopener">these are the best apartment dogs</a>) and the size of the dog, the breed’s socialness (some breeds, like Pomeranians, make the best emotional support dogs) and a dog’s age and temperament. Health and grooming needs and maintenance requirements (i.e. how often dogs need to be brushed, for instance) are also important considerations. Cocker spaniels, while super cute with their big, long ears, are also known for having frequent ear infections, for instance. And while Havanese, one of the cutest white dog breeds, are very portable, they also require a lot of grooming. The decision to adopt a pet is not one that should be taken lightly. “Bringing a pet into the household is a lifelong decision for that animal,” says Dr Kinscher-Juran. But after thoroughly considering your situation and needs, it’s comforting to know, as Dr Kinscher-Juran says “that there is a dog for everyone and every age.” Here are the top 15 best dogs for seniors. Best overall: Bichon Frise These white powder puffs of a dog are known for their sweet and friendly nature and are perfect for seniors seeking easy companionship – they also make <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/food-home-garden/pets/15-best-dogs-for-first-time-owners" target="_blank" rel="noopener">great pets for first-time dog owners</a>. These low-maintenance pups aren’t difficult to potty train and don’t shed much, which is why they are one of the best dogs for older people, Dr Kinscher-Juran says. (But to keep their snow-white hair looking fluffy, they do require grooming every five or so weeks.) Bichons are gentle and playful and they get along well with other pets and children, so you don’t need to put them in another room if the grandkids stop by! At an average of 5 to 8 kilograms, they are also super portable. Not to mention smart. “One of my favourite bichons knew how to give a kiss in three different languages, one of which was Portuguese,” says Dr Kinscher-Juran. Like the best toy dogs, they are perfectly content to sit on your lap for hours every morning, as you read the paper or watch the news. Bichon Frise’s don’t require long, five kilometre hikes to keep them happy, rather they’re fine with 20- to 30-minute leisurely strolls. What they crave most is attention, something seniors often have time to give. Breed Overview Height: 24 to 30 cms Weight: 5 to 8 kgs Life expectancy: 14 to 15 years Best lap dog: Cavalier King Charles spaniel If you are looking for one of the best dogs for older people, cavalier King Charles spaniels should be high on your list. It’s easy to fall in love with their big eyes and long ears. And Cavalier King Charles spaniels, in turn, like nothing more than to kiss and cuddle with their owners. Cavalier King Charles spaniels have an eager to please personality, which makes them easier to train. They also only require a moderate amount of exercise, which can be good for less active seniors. Beauty, of course, requires attention. Dr Kinscher-Juran suggests brushing their long luxurious coats once a day, which isn’t hard to do, considering they’re one of the best lap dog breeds! Breed Overview Height: 3.5 to 33 cms Weight: 5.8 to 8 kgs Life expectancy: 12 to 15 years Best apartment dog: Pug If you are looking for one of the best dogs for older people, cavalier King Charles spaniels should be high on your list. It’s easy to fall in love with their big eyes and long ears. And Cavalier King Charles spaniels, in turn, like nothing more than to kiss and cuddle with their owners. Cavalier King Charles spaniels have an eager to please personality, which makes them easier to train. They also only require a moderate amount of exercise, which can be good for less active seniors. Beauty, of course, requires attention. Dr Kinscher-Juran suggests brushing their long luxurious coats once a day, which isn’t hard to do, considering they’re one of the best lap dog breeds! Breed Overview Height: 3.5 to 33 cms Weight: 5.8 to 8 kgs Life expectancy: 12 to 15 years Best small dog: Maltese One of the best small dogs for seniors is the Maltese. These adorable white toy dogs were specifically bred to be companions. Loyal, sweet-natured, calm and adaptable, it’s not hard for a Maltese to quickly become seniors’ best four-legged friend. Though they love following their owners around, all they really need for health is short easy walks. At an average of 2 kilograms, Malteses are also easily transportable (which is a good thing since Malteses don’t like to be left alone too long). Their small size also makes them well suited for apartments or homes with limited space. You can’t mention a Maltese without mentioning their long, silky, white mane, which can be braided or put into a bun. “For the person who wants a living Barbie doll, and loves playing with hair, Malteses are your dog,” Dr. Kinscher-Juran says. But if all that grooming becomes too much, you can have the hair trimmed or shaped down. Breed Overview Height: 17 to 22 cms Weight: Under 3 kgs Life expectancy: 12 to 15 years Most social dog: Havanese Sweet, friendly and eager for attention: Havanese make great companions for seniors who find themselves at home more. As a breed, Haveneses don’t like to be alone for very long. (There’s a reason they’re called Velcro dogs). These super social dogs crave affection and get along well with other breeds and strangers. Their high intelligence makes them easier to train and potty train. And at about 5 kgs, they are easy to carry. Walks might take a bit longer with Haveneses because they will want to try to say hi to everyone. But for seniors, looking for sociability, this is not such a bad thing! That’s why Havaneses are one of the best dogs for seniors. Breed Overview Height: 22 to 30 cms Weight: 3 to 6 kgs Life expectancy: 14 to 16 years Best house dog: Miniature schnauzers Miniature schnauzers are one of the most adaptable breeds of dogs. Originally bred as a farm dog in Germany, miniature schnauzers are just as content living in an assisted living facility as they are roaming outdoors. Small, sturdy, hypoallergenic and affectionate, miniature schnauzers are great with, say, rambunctious grandchildren. And their calmness – and attunement to the moods of humans – make them excellent therapy animals. Miniature schnauzers both play hard and relax hard. They need a moderate amount of daily exercise but are also good at simply lounging around, while their owners watch TV or make dinner. Breed Overview Height: 30.5 to 36 cms Weight: 5 to 9 kgs Life expectancy: 12 to 15 years Best large dog: Greyhound With their lean bodies, flexible spines, and long legs, greyhounds are known for their athletic ability and for being the fastest dog breed. What is not as well-known is that their gentle and sensitive temperament and minimal grooming needs make them one of the best dogs for seniors. Older, retired racing greyhounds are often the best choice for seniors,. “As racing dogs, they often live on a track without much positive human and social interaction,” Dr Kinscher-Juran says. “When they’re adopted, they’re far more appreciative of the loving home you are providing, and don’t seem to take that for granted.” And though they do need daily exercise, greyhounds – perhaps surprisingly! – are renowned for their laziness. Weighing anywhere from 27 to 31.7 kgs, these gentle giants, are content to lounge around the house, accepting pets and back rubs. Breed Overview Height: 67 to 76 cms Weight: 27 to 31.7 kgs Life expectancy: 10 to 13 years Best with grandkids: Golden Retrievers Golden retrievers are a large breed with an even larger heart. For seniors looking for gentle dog breeds, golden retrievers are loyal, friendly, intelligent, people-pleasers. They are easy to train, famous for their patience and great with the grandkids. Golden retrievers do require consistent, hard exercise every day, but they are more than content for part of that exercise to consist of finding and retrieving balls in the backyard. Though golden retrievers can weigh up to 34 kgs and more, they still think of themselves as lap dogs. “Golden retrievers are happy to sit with you on the patio at the end of the day, with their head on your lap, watching the sunset,” Dr Kinscher-Juran says. Breed Overview Height: 54.5 to 61 cms Weight: 25 to 34 kgs Life expectancy: 10 to 12 years Best hypoallergenic: Toy Poodle For seniors with allergies or respiratory issues, poodles are one of the best hypoallergenic dog breeds. Poodles have a single-layer coat that doesn’t shed (though all that beautiful, naturally curly hair requires a lot of brushing and grooming!). They come in multiple sizes, from tiny teacup poodles, that weigh between 1.8 to 2.7 kgs to small toy poodles that weigh between 2.7 to 4 kgs to miniature poodles that weigh between 6.8 to 7.7 kgs to standard poodles that weigh between 20.4 to 31.75 kgs. Like the best sort of human companion, poodles are known for both their beauty and their brains. Their high intelligence makes them easy to train (helpful for seniors) and their affectionate personality makes them easy to love. The smaller toy poodle is a top choice for seniors. Breed Overview Height: 25 cms max Weight: 1.8 to 2.7 kgs Life expectancy: 10 to 18 years Best dog for those who like a clean house: Groodle A cross between poodles and golden retrievers, groodles (or goldendoodles), which weigh between 22.6 to 40 kgs, are known for possessing the best traits of both breeds. They’re loyal, obedient and loving. For seniors with allergies, or those who prefer to avoid daily vacuuming, groodles, who mostly don’t shed and are hypoallergenic, make great companions. You don’t need to have been an experienced pet owner to adopt one: Groodle’s intelligence and easy-going temperament make them easy to train. Groodles do love exercise though, especially swimming. Bonus points if you’re a senior that lives by a body of water! Breed Overview Height: 48 to 61 cms Weight: 13.6 to 20 kgs Life expectancy: 10 to 15 years Best for active seniors: Westies Recognisable by their white mane and dark, almond-shaped eyes, the West Highland white terrier (aka Westie) are friendly, loving companions for active seniors. At 5.8 to 9 kgs, Westies are still small enough to handle and make good apartment dogs – as long as they get in their long, daily walks. Westies really, really like to play. Westies are no softies though: beneath their coat is a well-muscled body. Bred to be rodent killers, Westies require little pampering and they rarely shed. For seniors looking for a little bit of excitement in their days, westies will be sure to keep you on your toes. Breed Overview Height: 25.5 to 28 cms Weight: 6.8 to 9 kgs Life expectancy: 13 to 15 years Best dog that doesn't bark: Shih Tzu The name Shih Tzu means little lion, but the most fierce thing about this breed is their love for the owner. Shih Tzus bond very quickly with humans, making them great choices for seniors looking for a close canine companion. Weighing an of average 4 to 7 kgs, Shih Tzus, known for their long coats, pack a lot of personality in their small frame. They are a confident, happy-go-lucky breed with a bit of a stubborn streak. But they are less demanding and less yappy than other smaller toy dogs, making them a good choice for seniors who live in apartments. They are also not very energetic and only need a couple of short walks a day, making them perfect for non-active seniors. Breed Overview Height: 23 to 26.5 cms Weight: 4 to 7 kgs Life expectancy: 10 to 18 years Easiest dog to care for: French bulldog With their big eyes, adorable scrunchy faces, and short legs, there’s a reason why French bulldogs are increasing popular today and one of the easiest dog breeds. Their gentle personality and low energy make them one of the best dogs for seniors with a less active lifestyle. These dogs are not big athletes, a walk around the block is all the exercise they need for the day. French bulldogs’ small size (they weigh about 8.5 to 12.5 kgs) and the fact that they are not big barkers or yappers also make them one of the best apartment dogs. As an additional bonus, they are also excellent cuddlers and incredibly loyal. Breed Overview Height: 28 to 33 cms Weight: Under 12 kgs Life expectancy: 10 to 12 years Best guard dog: Pomeranian At 1.4 to 3 kgs, Pomeranians look like tiny puffballs. Their small size and affectionate personality make them easy to love. And their ability to remain calm in busy situations also makes them one of the best emotional support dogs, Dr Kinscher-Juran says. Pomeranians – whose hair comes in a variety of colours from white to black to cream – don’t seem to realise their small size. They are very alert, with a tendency to bark, making them excellent guard dogs for seniors. Though Pomeranians are lap dogs, they also have an independent streak, so active seniors don’t need to worry about Pomeranians clinging, like a barnacle, to them all day. Sometimes it’s good to have space! Breed Overview Height: 15 to 17.5 cms Weight: 1.4 to 3 kgs Life expectancy: 12 to 16 years Best dog for seniors with a backyard: Beagle For seniors who love being outdoors and would like an impetus to exercise more, beagles are a good choice. Energetic, active and sociable, beagles love to play and take long walks. And unlike other smaller dogs, they don’t require a ton of babysitting. They’re fine – content even – being left alone for a while. For seniors who don’t love playing beautician, beagles, with their short, dense, wash-and-wear coat, are a good choice. They are pretty low maintenance when it comes to grooming. Younger beagles require consistent exercise – so seniors might find adopting an older beagle a less physically demanding choice, Dr Kinscher-Juran says. Breed Overview Height: 33 to 38 cms Weight: 9 to 13.6 kgs Life expectancy: 10 to 15 years Image credits: Shutterstock This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/food-home-garden/pets/15-best-dogs-for-seniors?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>.

Family & Pets

Thief asks woman out on date after robbing her at gunpoint

A US woman has gone through the harrowing experience of being robbed at gunpoint, but it was what happened after the fact that was almost as eerie. Amber Beraun was checking the mail one night at her Indianapolis home in May when she was approached by a man with a gun. The gunman was later identified as Damien Boyce. Speaking to WRTV, Beraun said she was confronted by Boyce, who attempted to enter her home. She refused and gave him all the cash she had handy, which came to $100. Before he made his escape, Boyce asked Beraun a very unexpected, and quite frankly bizarre question - to add him on Facebook. The thief also noted he was planning to pay her back. Beraun responded, telling him she “believed” him and that “times just get rough”. Boyce proceeded to ask the woman to “come chill”. He was later arrested by the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department and charged over a separate armed robbery on June 12, where two people got shot and one was hit in the head with a brick. He was also charged with his robbery of Beraun. Beraun said her local neighbourhood has been affected by the terrifying incident. "It makes me a little on edge knowing that people walk up and down the street, looking for places to commit crimes," she said. "It makes it a little different when you hear noises at night." Beraun insisted she "never" thought something like this would happen to her. "He took away my sense of safety from my home." Image credit: ABC America

Legal

Long-married couples said not to know each other as well as newlyweds

You would think decades of marriage together would give older couples plenty of time to get to know each other but an interesting new study suggests otherwise, finding that couples who have been together for decades are worse at predicting what their partner likes than newlyweds. The study, published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology, tested young couples, aged from 19 to 32, who had been together for an average of two years and older couples, aged from 62 to 78, who had been together for at least 40 years. Each of the 116 participants was presented with a series of descriptions (of foods, movies, house designs and so on) and asked to rate his or her preference and predict how their partner would rate the item. They were also asked to estimate how many of their predictions were correct. And well, overall, we’re not great at knowing what our significant other likes, even though we think we are. Young couples got 42 per cent of their predictions right and older couples only predicted 36 per cent of their partners’ preferences, when both couple groups overconfidently estimated they would get 62 per cent of answers right. “This is surprising because, compared to younger couples, older couples had much more time and opportunities to learn about each other's preferences over the course of their relationship,” the team of psychologist wrote. They suggested that younger couples may be more motivated to understand their partners during the early stages of a relationship. “Another reason could be that older couples pay less attention to each other, because they view their relationship as already firmly committed or because they think they already know their partner well,” said one of the researchers, Dr Benjamin Scheibehenne of the University of Basel. Image credit: Shutterstock

Relationships

Divorce led me to my true love

Over60 community member, Mary Green, 63, shares her story about how when her marriage suddenly ended after 44 years she found that it was a blessing in disguise. "On the Easter weekend of 2012 I was dumped by my husband of 44 years! After a small disagreement I had gone to our holiday flat on a remote golf course outside Melbourne to work on a book fast approaching its publishing deadline. When I messaged that I would be back on Tuesday, he replied by SMS that he had changed the locks. I was incredulous. Marriage is often not easy, but I was about to find out just how tough I was. For the next two months I travelled gypsy style between the golf flat and the tiny new South Yarra studio my second of three sons had just moved into. I have not been inside our family home since. This was the situation I was in when I decided to date. At 63 I just started again. I joined three online dating sites and did not waste time. I booked to meet seven men in the next seven days, apparently breaking all the rules of being cautious and discreet. All seven men were polite and interesting. We had a coffee or met in a wine bar and I had fun, but there was no chemistry. I was just happy being free from my husband. During this time my husband sent my belonging to me on a truck (which I paid for) and when I was sorting through the boxes of files, a page caught my eye. It was the minutes of the golf estate owner’s corporation, and out jumped the name of a man that I had been at school with. Our sisters were best friends in those days. I checked Facebook, and there he was, with three children, seven grandchildren – but I couldn’t see a wife. A bit of messaging banter later, I asked him to ring me. We met up for a drink that turned into dinner and a hug that I will never forget. In my eyes he was still the handsome sporting hero that I had beaten in the high school mixed doubles tennis finals. He was not looking to date. I hoped he would just give me some lessons in online dating. He had been divorced for about 15 years and had two very long relationships with women that he had met on dating sites. He told me that my booking of seven men in seven days was breaking the rules, but also admitted that he had stacked his dates, just hours apart, in order to meet them all. By Christmas 2012 we were a couple in love. It’s been nearly two years since that first date and I am grateful for the internet and the coincidence that we both owned property on the same golfing estate. He plays A Grade, and I try. We are similar in so many other ways that it’s quite spooky sometimes. Our families have embraced each other and the joy of just knowing he is there helps me immensely through what has been a difficult time. Having worked as a support in my ex-husband’s career, and suddenly having to pay bills without a job of my own, led me to Centrelink. They said that I was too old to retrain at no cost, unless I wanted to study Aged Care – something rather peculiar in that thinking, a subsidised course in bookwork software would be more useful and help me save on accountant’s fees. In the meantime I’m setting up my own Facebook blog, called Healthy Ageing. If I can find a good man on the internet, I am optimistic about building a good lifestyle on it too." *Names have been changed Images: Getty

Relationships

Rolf Harris' cause – and date – of death confirmed

Rolf Harris’ cause of death has been revealed following the announcement of his passing after a battle with neck cancer. While the information was made public on May 23, his death certificate states he died several weeks ago. On May 11, it was speculated that Harris was gravely ill after an ambulance was spotted outside his UK home. However, it wasn’t until May 23 that his death was confirmed. The date of his death on the certificate was listed as May 10, one day before the ambulance was seen. The cause of death was listed as squamous cell carcinoma of neck – neck cancer – and “fragility of old age”. It was first revealed in late 2022 that Harris had been severely ill and struggled to communicate with people. The gap between the date of his passing and his death certificate allowed the family to hold a funeral for Harris and cremate him away from the public eye. In a short statement released by his family, they said Harris “died peacefully surrounded by family and friends and has now been laid to rest”. Harris lived with his wife of 65 years, Alwen Hughes, 91, who has Alzheimer’s disease. Both needed round the clock care. Private investigator and author William Merrit told the Daily Mail Harris was gravely ill when he saw him in 2022. “Rolf has been very sick. When I saw him he was able to speak to me. He was with it, but he was obviously unwell,” he said. A neighbour also shared Harris’ health had declined after the death of his poodle, Bumble in 2022. “Only carers and nurses, who care for him 24 hours, come and go. I’m told he can’t eat anymore,” they said. Harris was born in 1930 in Bassendean, in Perth’s north east. He was a champion swimmer in his youth before moving to London in the early 50s’, where he studied art. After getting early gigs working as a performer and illustrator for the BBC and ITV, he rose to fame for his art and music. In 2005, Queen Elizabeth sat for a portrait with him. Harris received several awards and honours, most of which were taken away. He had been appointed a Member of the Order of the British Empire in 1968 and was appointed to the Order of Australia (AM), where he later advanced to Officer (AO) in 2012. He was thrust into the spotlight in 2013 after being arrested as part of a UK police investigation into a string of sexual offences. He was also accused of taking indecent images of children. He stood trial in June 2014 and was convicted of 12 counts of indecent assault against four teenage girls between 1968 and 1986, one of which was later appealed. He was sentenced to jail for five years and nine months. Harris was released from Stafford Prison in England’s midlands in mid-2017 after three years behind bars and was rarely spotted in public afterwards. He stood trial again in mid-2017 for separate cases of sexual assault, involving seven complainants aged between 12 and 27 at the time of the alleged incidents. He was found not guilty on three counts and was cleared after the jury failed to reach a verdict on four other counts. Image credit: Getty

News

Fun ways to boost memory in seniors

Memory issues can seriously deteriorate the quality of life for seniors. To reverse the typically progressive process of memory loss, many solutions have been put forward. These include creative leisure activities aimed to work on the senior’s brain while providing relaxation. To work on a senior’s memory, it’s optimal to have them work on a project, focusing and seeing the work being done. There are plenty of games and activities available to help memory. Paint by Numbers Paint by Numbers is a creative art form that involves painting a pre-drawn sketch on a linen canvas with reference numbers. It helps stimulate the intellect and senses. They’re available in colour books as well, you can find them at your local Kmart and select supermarkets. Diamond painting Diamond painting is a manual activity where the senior creates beautiful pictures using rhinestones to stick onto a self-adhesive canvas. It calls for concentration, reflection, memorisation, and patience from the practitioner, which is beneficial for working on memory. Scratch painting Scratch painting is a fun activity that involves scratching a picture with a coin or stylus, like a lottery scratch-off. It requires interest and concentration from the individual, who will enjoy the final picture and benefit their memory. Music therapy Music therapy is used to treat and alleviate disorders, such as relational, behavioural, and communication difficulties. It also has benefits for seniors with memory problems, as it allows them to mobilise concentration, emotions, and memory in a playful way. Image credit: Shutterstock

Mind

3 things all couples fight about (and what to do about them)

All couples argue from time to time, and it seems that we’re all fighting about the same things. These three issues crop up time and time again, mainly because there’s a deeper meaning than whose turn is it really to vacuum the house. Here are a few reasons why conflicts about money, sex and chores often escalate and how to cool down things down. Money Fights about money are rarely about money. Money is fraught with layers of meaning and often how we see it (and how we handle it) is a reflection of our personal values around freedom, security and generosity. Fights about spending can often be traced back to fears about not having influence in important matters in your life, worries about future security or concerns that your partner does not respect you or your money values. If you find yourself continually arguing about money, rather than focusing on the dollar value of items or pinning blame on who spent what when, talk generally about what role you think money should play in your life. Sex The intimate act of sex can both be a wonderful cementer of relationships or it can be terrible wedge that causes untold relationship tension. Arguing about how often to have sex is often not about the act itself but about our feelings of connection, affection and love. It’s important to remember that just like people change over the years so do desires and intimacy needs. Fluctuating libidos is a factor of life and the way to ensure you’re on the same page as your partner is to communicate. Don’t just expect your partner to instinctively know what you need. Housework It may sound like the most trivial of fights but disputes over domestic chores are less about the tasks and more about the underlying meanings of respect, fairness and worth. When one person feels like the household tasks are not shared or equal, it can unearth negative feelings that the other person does not appreciate them or does not respect them enough to help out. Have an agreement about housework tasks and talk about whether it may have a deeper meaning. Image credit: Shutterstock

Relationships

Why it's never too late to start dating

Thinking about getting back into the dating game? It’s a new world out there and going on a date has changed. Here’s what you need to know. Whether you’re looking for love and companionship in your 20s and 30s or your 60s and 70s, dating is a universal experience that remains timeless. You’re never too old to meet someone new, rendezvous for a dinner and a movie, and possibly have something develop into a relationship. It’s just the act of “going on a date” that can change over the decades. If you’re looking to get back into the dating game but aren’t sure what to expect, don’t worry because you’re not alone. Many singles in their 50s and 60s would like to find a companion to share their life with but aren’t sure how to go about dipping their toe back into the dating pool. <a href="http://www.valeriegibson.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Valerie Gibson</a>, US-based dating and relationship expert and author of The Later Dater, says dating again doesn’t have to be scary, it’s what you make of it. “Most people just want to have someone in their life who loves them, cares about them, is supportive, fun to be with, interesting to talk to and shares their goals,” she says. “That’s what dating is all about – the search to hopefully find someone with whom you can joyfully and happily spend your later years. You may not find them right away, but the journey through dating while you’re searching can be fun and exciting, and make ageing a fascinating adventure.” With that in mind, here are some tips from Valerie Gibson to get you comfortable with the idea of dating at any age. Dating later While dating is a universal and timeless experience for everyone, it can be different depending on your age. In your 20s and 30s, dating is young, passionate, romantic, and carries the prospect of a long-term relationship leading to marriage. “The pleasure of dating in your later years is that dating is a little more low-key and less energetic, but can be much more meaningful and have a lot of depth and satisfaction, and often a lot of commitment. “Both parties have had relationships/marriages and are well aware of what they want now in a personal connection. Although dating at these lovely ages may not have the same wildfire of that in your 20s and 30s (which can burn out quickly at times), meeting someone new and dating them can be just as exciting at a later age as it was when you were much younger.” However, she adds that a lot depends on your positive attitude, youthful spirit and health as to whether later dating works for you. First date jitters affect everyone One thing that affects singles, no matter their age, is a feeling of nervousness when meeting someone for the first time, particularly on a first date! It can be an intimidating experience, particularly if you haven’t done this in a good 20 to 30 years. The best way forward is to leave your expectations at the door and simply enjoy the experience of meeting and learning about a new person when on your date. Relax, enjoy yourself, learn about the other person and ask questions. “Most people are nervous at that first meeting and often trying too hard to impress. It usually eases on the second date and contrary to most opinions “chemistry” is not necessarily there immediately – it can grow.” If you don’t feel like it’s a good match from the get-go, however, when the time comes politely exit. Always treat people how you would like to be treated in similar circumstances. Winning conversation Whether you’re on a first date or not, there are a few topics you should steer clear of when meeting a person for the first time. It’s generally agreed that religion and politics are no-go zones, since these subjects are too inflammatory and divisive, and certain to make sure there isn’t another date. “I always tell people to not pour out all of their previous problems with their dates, marriages or relationships on the first date, especially any horror stories of your last ex. A person wants to know a little about you and who you are but not your complete life history and all of your life’s disappointments. “Keep it light and basically informative, discuss subjects such as music, books, movies, your travels, food and wine, hobbies, and you can also find out whether you have interests in common which is important.” It’s a digital world The dating game has changed quite a bit over the years, mostly with the arrival of the internet. Meeting someone online through a dating website has become one of the most popular ways where people are now searching for Mr or Mrs Right, particularly singles in their 50s and 60s. “There’s no question that online dating has become the most popular way of meeting someone when you’re over 60. The biggest growing demographic for online dating sites are people 50-plus. “It’s because it can be done from the comfort of your home, there’s some controllable privacy and anonymity to it which older people find reassuring and protective, and it’s the only way to meet hundreds, if not thousands, of other singles in your age group who you would never meet in everyday life – all at the click of a key.” Valerie warns that while there are genuine people looking for love online, you may unfortunately come across others who are not so genuine. Be cautious and if in doubt, ask a friend or family member for advice. While online dating is one great way to meet a partner, other options include through mutual friends, volunteering, joining clubs and groups, taking classes and basically, just getting out and mingling with people. “You’ll never meet someone sitting at home.” Be informed about the new world For those looking to start meeting new people and go on dates, the best way to prepare yourself is to learn as much about the new world of dating as you can. Read books, ask friends (even talk to your children if they’re dating!), do some research and get yourself ready both emotionally and physically. “Always remember you have been through a lot in your life and dating isn’t life threatening after all! Make up your mind that you’re going to enjoy it and enjoy the people you meet, whether or not they are Mr or Mrs Right or someone who fits your long list of requirements. “The people you meet are also probably nervous, just like you, and also looking for someone they might like, can get along with, possibly fall in love with and maybe share their life with or maybe just to share some good times!”

Relationships

These senior dogs are paws-itively perfect

US photographer Amanda Jones has built a remarkable career capturing the bond between people and their furry best friends, and now, she has taken things a step further with her Dog Years Project. The endeavour sees Jones photographing animals at different points in their lives, from puppyhood to their senior years, to illustrate the bond people share with their canine companions. “A dog’s love is timeless,” the official Dog Years Project’s website explains. “The bond we share with our canine companions deepens and matures in their journey from playful pups to wise old friends. “Dog Years Project is a beautiful collection of the lives of 50 dogs. In portraying each dog at both young and old ages, photographer Amanda Jones reveals the unique spark of personality that lasts a lifetime. “This powerful collection of photographs reminds us that life really is better with a dog by your side.” Jones’ first dog, a gorgeous long-haired Dachshund named Lily, served as the inspiration for the entire project. Lily was photographed from the first day she joined Jones’ family, and Jones’ next Dachshund, Benny, was the next to feature in the 10 year project. “It was the passing of this VERY special dachshund [Lily] at the age of 15 that inspired Amanda to look back at previous shoots and compare the young imagery with the older photographs,” a post to Jones’ Instagram explained. “Her young and old is a good one, don’t you think? Of course, we’ve got all the years in between as well. What a dog she was! We miss her around the studio each and every day.” And one commenter summed it up well when they admitted, “this really made me cry. I always loved older dogs even more than I love puppies. They all have strong personalities and look like those people with many stories to tell … To those of you who can enjoy your beloved ones pics in this project, be sure you’re blessed.” <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CbGx3wfOyF1/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CbGx3wfOyF1/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Amanda Jones (@amandajonesinc)</a> </div> </blockquote> The collection of photos see two side-by-side images of the same dog, with some as young as six months old in the first shot, and some as old as 16 years in the second - at different points in their lives, highlighting the differences while revealing the unique personalities that last them a lifetime. As Jones has put it, she believes “people can relate to the visible ageing process that the images show. I think senior dogs in general stir up strong emotions in people.” Jones’ pictures have been compiled into a book titled Dog Years: Faithful Friends, Then & Now, with Jones noting that while working on the publication, she “rejoined dogs, couples, and families” she had met years prior. “Some dogs had been lost to illness and accidents,” she said. “Most are living amazingly long, happy lives in perfect surroundings.” And perhaps most importantly, as Jones herself explained, “one thing that remains constant is the love people and dogs have for each other. “That does not change, no matter how many dog years go by.” Images: @amandajonesinc / Instagram

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