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Italian village offers $1 homes to Americans upset by US election results

<p>An Italian village in Sardinia, Italy is offering one-euro homes to Americans seeking a new start following the results of the 2024 U.S election that saw Donald Trump being re-elected as president. </p> <p>Ollolai has long been trying to persuade outsiders to move in to revive the community after decades of depopulation. </p> <p>Now, it's selling dilapidated houses for as little as one euro — just over a US dollar or $AU1.60 — to entice Americans to move abroad. </p> <p>Following the November 5 outcome, they have launched a website aimed at potential American expats, offering cheap homes in hopes that those disappointed by the result and seeking a fresh start will snap up one of their empty properties. </p> <p>"Are you worned (sic) out by global politics? Looking to embrace a more balanced lifestyle while securing new opportunities?" the website read. </p> <p>"It's time to start building your European escape in the stunning paradise of Sardinia."</p> <p>Mayor Francesco Columbu told CNN that the website was specifically created to attract American voters in the wake of the presidential elections.</p> <p>The mayor loves the United States and is convinced Americans would be the best people to revive the community. </p> <p>"We just really want, and will focus on, Americans above all," he said. </p> <p>"We can't of course ban people from other countries to apply, but Americans will have a fast-track procedure. We are betting on them to help us revive the village, they are our winning card."</p> <p>The village is offering three tiers of accommodation: Free temporary homes to certain digital nomads, ($1.6) homes in need of renovations, and ready-to-occupy houses for prices up to $160,000.</p> <p>The mayor also set up a special team to guide interested buyers through every step of the process including finding contractors, builders and navigating required paperwork. </p> <p>"Of course, we can't specifically mention the name of one US president who just got elected, but we all know that he's the one from whom many Americans want to get away from now and leave the country," Columbo added. </p> <p>"We have specifically created this website now to meet US post-elections relocation needs. The first edition of our digital nomad scheme which launched last year was already solely for Americans."</p> <p>Photos and plans of available empty properties will soon be uploaded to the website. </p> <p>The website has since received nearly 38,000 requests for information on houses, with most of them coming from the United States</p> <p>In the past century, Ollolai's population has shrunk from 2,250 to 1,300 with only a handful of babies born each year. </p> <p>Over the last few years, this has dropped 1,150 residents. </p> <p><em>Image: Shutterstock</em></p> <p> </p>

International Travel

I spoke to 100 Japanese seniors, and learnt the secret to a good retirement is a good working life

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/shiori-shakuto-1537774">Shiori Shakuto</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p>What makes a good retirement? I’ve <a href="https://www.pennpress.org/9781512827088/after-work/">been researching</a> the lives of “silver backpackers”: Japanese seniors who embark on a later-life journey of self-discovery.</p> <p>Many experienced Japan’s high-growth economy, characterised by rigid gender roles. For many men who worked as iconic cultural figures of <em><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salaryman">sarariiman</a></em> (white collar workers), excessive working hours were normalised and expected. Their absence from home was compensated by their female partners, many full-time stay-at-home mothers.</p> <p>Entering their 60s meant either retirement from work, or children leaving home. For men and women, retirement is understood as an opportunity to live a life for themselves, leading to a journey of self-discovery.</p> <h2>Dedicating life to work</h2> <p>I interviewed more than 100 older Japanese women and men and found a significant disparity in the quality of life between them.</p> <p>Japanese retired men who led a work-oriented life struggled to find meaning at the initial stages of retirement.</p> <p>One man I spoke to retired at the age of 60 from a large trading company. He was a successful businessman, having travelled the world and held various managerial positions in the company. His wife looked after the children most of the time.</p> <p>They bought a house with a yard in a suburb so the children could attend a good school. It significantly increased his commute, and further reduced his time with children. He also worked on weekends. He barely had time to develop his hobbies or get to know his neighbours.</p> <p>He idealised his retirement as a time to finally spend with his family and develop his own hobbies. When he retired, however, he realised that he and his family didn’t have any common topics of conversation.</p> <p>Through decades of excessive hours spent at work away from home, the rest of the family established a routine that did not include him. Taking up new hobbies at the age of 60 was not as easy as he thought, nor was making new friends at this age.</p> <p>“I became a <em>nureochiba</em>,” he lamented. <em>Nureochiba</em> refers to the wet fallen leaves that linger and are difficult to get rid of. The term is commonly used to describe retired men with no friends or hobbies who constantly accompany their wives.</p> <p>The retirement for many former <em>sarariiman</em> was characterised by boredom – having nowhere to go to or having nothing to do. The sense of boredom led to a sense of isolation and low confidence in old age. Many older Japanese men I spoke to lament not having built a connection with their children or communities at a younger age.</p> <h2>Dedicating life to family and community</h2> <p>Older Japanese women I spoke with were more well-connected with their children and local communities in later life. Many were in regular contact with their children through visits, phone calls and messages. Some continued to care for them by providing food or by looking after grandchildren. Children very much appreciated them.</p> <p>Many older women who had been full-time stay-at-home mothers had already taken up hobbies or volunteering activities at community organisations, and they could accelerate these involvements in their old age.</p> <p>Even women who worked full-time seemed to maintain better connections with their family members because working excessively away from home was simply not possible for them.</p> <p>Older men relied on these women’s networks and activities conducted at the scales of home and communities – from caring for others to pursuing hobbies – to enact a meaningful retirement. The sense of connection with family and communities, not to mention their husbands’ reliance on them, led to a high confidence and wellbeing among older women.</p> <p>I saw many instances where older women preferred spending time with their female friends than their retired husbands and embarked on adventurous trips alone. One woman went on a three-month cruise alone. Feeling liberated, she sent a fax message to her husband from the ship: “When I get off this ship, I will devote the rest of my life to myself. You will have to take care of your own mother.”</p> <p>Upon disembarking, she moved to Malaysia to start her second life.</p> <h2>The silver backpackers</h2> <p>Malaysia has become a popular destination for silver backpackers looking to embark on a journey of self-discovery. Some travel as couples, while others go alone, regardless of their marital status.</p> <p>For many male silver backpackers I spoke to, moving to Malaysia offers a second chance at life to make new friends, find hobbies and, most importantly, start anew with their partners.</p> <p>For many female silver backpackers, visiting Malaysia means being able to enjoy an independent lifestyle while having the security of friends and family in Malaysia and Japan.</p> <p>The experiences of older Japanese men and women can be translated into the experiences of anyone who spent excessive hours at work and those who spent more time cultivating relationships outside of work. The activities of the latter group are not as valued in a society that narrowly defines productivity. However, my research shows that it is their activities that carry more value in old age.</p> <p>Are you under pressure to work long hours? If you can, turn off your phone and computer. Instead of organising events for work, organise a dinner with your family and friends. Take up a new hobby in your local community centres. You can change how you work and live now for a better old age.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/238571/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/shiori-shakuto-1537774"><em>Shiori Shakuto</em></a><em>, Lecturer in Anthropology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/i-spoke-to-100-japanese-seniors-and-learnt-the-secret-to-a-good-retirement-is-a-good-working-life-238571">original article</a>.</em></p>

Retirement Life

"I’m coming home from a party, and I don’t want to end up getting arrested": do driving apps help people break road rules?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/verity-truelove-1237331">Verity Truelove</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-the-sunshine-coast-1068">University of the Sunshine Coast</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michelle-nicolls-1299069">Michelle Nicolls</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-the-sunshine-coast-1068">University of the Sunshine Coast</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/oscar-oviedo-trespalacios-1417150">Oscar Oviedo-Trespalacios</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/delft-university-of-technology-1040">Delft University of Technology</a></em></p> <p>Apps such as Google Maps, Apple Maps and Waze can tell drivers when they are approaching speed cameras or random breath testing stations. Countries such as Germany, France and Switzerland have banned apps from displaying these enforcement locations.</p> <p>But what effect are these apps having in Australia – are they helping drivers break road rules?</p> <p>Our new <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0925753524002972">paper</a>, published in the journal Safety Science, examined this question.</p> <p>We found this technology can, in some cases, contribute to people thinking they are invincible on the roads. However, we also found they can sometimes help people drive more safely.</p> <h2>Being made aware of enforcement can help road safety</h2> <p>We conducted focus groups and interviews with a total of 58 drivers from Queensland, to understand how the use of this technology influences perceptions of being caught for breaking road rules.</p> <p>One driver told us: "If I know it’s coming up, I’ll put my phone down. If I was, say, texting or checking something, but then like once a good few 100 metres away, I sort of pick it up again, depending though."</p> <p>Another said: "It sort of depends where I am driving, I guess. Like, if I am driving on a country road and there is a speed camera there I would probably slow down for the speed camera and then sort of speed up again once I am sort of past that; it sort of depends on the circumstances."</p> <p>We also found that, for some people, being made aware of enforcement locations can help drivers better regulate their speed. This helped them comply with road rules more consistently.</p> <p>Waze also shows the speed limit in the area, which further assisted some drivers to stick to the speed limit. One driver told us: "I’m a bit careful if I just look at the speedo and just double check that I’m on the right amount of speed."</p> <p>Another said: "It just gives you a warning like, ‘OK, you need to check your speed.’ Just to double-check you’re going on the right speed perhaps or when it’s a camera coming up."</p> <h2>Concerning behaviours</h2> <p>Concerningly, we also found some drivers who use these apps are looking at and touching their screens more than they otherwise would. This can distract drivers and increase their <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0925753524001097">risk of crashing</a>.</p> <p>One driver told us they post traffic updates on the app they use while driving, “which I know is wrong.”</p> <p>Another said: "Just hit the button on the phone. Just two steps after I go past the camera."</p> <p>Another driver told us: "It’s so helpful […] Especially if it’s, say, late night and I’m coming home from a party, and I don’t want to end up getting arrested."</p> <p>One driver said: "I probably feel slightly more invincible, which is probably not a good thing."</p> <p>When asked why these apps are used, one driver said: "I guess the drug and the drink-driving."</p> <h2>Apps can help and hinder road safety</h2> <p>We know breaking road rules significantly contributes to <a href="https://www.who.int/teams/social-determinants-of-health/safety-and-mobility/global-status-report-on-road-safety-2023">crashes and road fatalities</a>, with deaths on Australian roads continuing to <a href="https://www.bitre.gov.au/publications/ongoing/road_deaths_australia_monthly_bulletins">increase</a> over time.</p> <p>On the one hand, when drivers are aware of enforcement measures like cameras and police, they are more likely to stop breaking the rules in those areas. That’s particularly true for behaviours such as speeding and using a phone while driving, we found.</p> <p>Using apps that flag where cameras and police are located also means drivers would be more exposed to enforcement activities than they otherwise would be on a normal drive.</p> <p>On the other hand, our results suggest some drivers are using these applications to break road rules more often in places where they think they won’t be caught.</p> <p>These apps are also not always completely accurate.</p> <p>For instance, even though Waze can display some police operation locations such as roadside breath testing, it can’t capture <em>all</em> on-road police activities. Further, camera locations are not always up to date or accurate.</p> <h2>Weighing benefits against risks</h2> <p>While these apps do have some benefits, it’s important to weigh these against the risks.</p> <p>It’s also important to recognise traffic enforcement isn’t just there to make you comply with road rules at a specific point; it is meant to remind you of the constant risk of being caught and to encourage consistent rule compliance.</p> <p>The goal is to ensure that drivers are following the traffic rules across the entire network, not just in isolated spots.</p> <p>With road fatalities at some of the <a href="https://www.bitre.gov.au/publications/ongoing/road_deaths_australia_monthly_bulletins">highest rates we’ve seen in recent years</a>, we need everyone to work together to stop more preventable deaths and injuries.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/237664/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/verity-truelove-1237331">Verity Truelove</a>, Senior Research Fellow in Road Safety Research, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-the-sunshine-coast-1068">University of the Sunshine Coast</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michelle-nicolls-1299069">Michelle Nicolls</a>, PhD Candidate, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-the-sunshine-coast-1068">University of the Sunshine Coast</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/oscar-oviedo-trespalacios-1417150">Oscar Oviedo-Trespalacios</a>, A/Professor Responsible Risk Management, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/delft-university-of-technology-1040">Delft University of Technology</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/im-coming-home-from-a-party-and-i-dont-want-to-end-up-getting-arrested-do-driving-apps-help-people-break-road-rules-237664">original article</a>.</em></p>

Legal

Why Lisa Marie Presley kept son's body at home for two months after his death

<p>Lisa Marie Presley was so heartbroken by the loss of her only son, Benjamin Keough, at just 27-years-old in 2020, that she kept his body in her home for two months after his death. </p> <p>The star revealed this in her memoir <em>From Here to the Great Unknown</em>, which was finished by her daughter Riley Keough after the 54-year-old’s death in January 2023, according to <em>Page Six</em>. </p> <p>In the book, Lisa Marie opened up about the extent of her grief, saying that she had to force herself to "fight" to stay alive for her remaining children, and one of the ways she coped was not saying goodbye to Benjamin right away. </p> <p>“My house has a separate casitas bedroom and I kept Ben Ben in there for two months. There is no law in the state of California that you have to bury someone immediately,” Lisa Marie wrote. </p> <p>“I found a very empathetic funeral homeowner. I told her that having my dad in the house after he died was incredibly helpful because I could go and spend time with him and talk to him. She said, ‘We’ll bring Ben Ben to you.’”</p> <p>The room was kept at around 12 degrees celsius to preserve his body, and the star continued saying that she felt “fortunate that there was a way that I could still parent him, delay it a bit longer so that I could become okay with laying him to rest.”</p> <p>Another reason why she decided to keep his body was because she wasn't sure whether to bury him in Hawaii or at Graceland, the Memphis estate where Elvis died and is buried.</p> <p>At one point, Riley and Lisa Marie decided to honour Benjamin by getting matching tattoos of his name, which was inscribed in the same place where Benjamin had his tattoos.</p> <p>Riley recalled the odd moment Lisa Marie brought in the tattoo artist into her home. </p> <p>“Lisa Marie Presley had just asked this poor man to look at the body of her dead son, which happened to be right next to us in the casitas. I’ve had an extremely absurd life, but this moment is in the top five," Riley wrote in the memoir. </p> <p>Lisa Marie acknowledged that it was odd, and soon after the tattoo day, they "got the vibe" that Benjamin wanted to be laid to rest. </p> <p>“Even my mum said that she could feel him talking to her, saying ‘This is insane, Mum, what are you doing? What the f**k!”</p> <p>The family held a funeral for Benjamin in Malibu, and he was buried at Graceland alongside Elvis, and now Lisa Marie as well. </p> <p><em>Image: Copetti/Photofab/ Shutterstock Editorial</em></p> <p> </p>

Family & Pets

Five signs in your senior pet you shouldn’t ignore

<p dir="ltr">Just like humans, pets can become susceptible to health complications as they age. </p> <p dir="ltr">Cats are considered senior at around 11 years, and many dogs are considered senior from about seven years old, depending on their breed. </p> <p dir="ltr">As your furry friends get older, it's important to look out for these five changes in your pet, because if caught early, addressing them promptly may significantly improve their well-being, lifespan and quality of life. </p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Dramatic weight changes</strong></p> <p dir="ltr">If your pet either loses or gains weight dramatically, it’s time to book an appointment at the vets. </p> <p dir="ltr">Significant weight changes can signal issues such as heart disease, diabetes, liver disease, or alterations in metabolism and muscle tone, which are sometimes associated with ageing.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Increased thirst</strong></p> <p dir="ltr">An increase in thirst, and in turn an increase in urination, could be the sign of several health conditions such as kidney disease or diabetes. </p> <p dir="ltr">Addressing these symptoms early can help manage the condition and drastically improve your pet's quality of life.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Changes in appetite</strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Several health problems in pets can manifest in a change of appetite, whether it's a decrease or increase in hunger. </p> <p dir="ltr">Changes in appetite might be due to dental issues, gastrointestinal problems, diabetes or more severe conditions like cancer. </p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Signs of chronic pain</strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Chronic pain can present in pets in many different ways, such as Repeated chewing, biting, or scratching at a specific area, altered activity levels, reluctance to move or jump, or poor response to medications.</p> <p dir="ltr">If your furry friend looks like they are struggling to move, or are slower when getting up and down, it's time to schedule a trip to the vet.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Changes in demeanour </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">As pets age, they can experience similar symptoms to humans, such as changes in vision, hearing and general confusion. </p> <p dir="ltr">Some pets can even experience dementia, with symptoms including anxiety, aimless wandering, decreased appetite, and notable shifts in behaviour. </p> <p dir="ltr">Although there is no cure, management is possible through medication, dietary adjustments, and lifestyle changes and available under veterinary guidance.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p>

Family & Pets

Readers response: What advice would you give to seniors looking to start a new relationship?

<p>When entering the dating world, there are always nerves, expectations and excitement at any age.</p> <p>But when it comes to dating and starting new relationships in your senior years, priorities can be skewed, and meeting someone can be nerve-wracking. </p> <p>We asked our readers what advice they would you give to seniors looking to start a new relationship, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Judy Chappell</strong> - Don’t! Nothing better than independence & freedom late in life after 63 years married. I have my kids, grandkids, great grandies & great friends that’s enough for me. Don’t need another male around.</p> <p><strong>Jan Heggie</strong> - If it feels right, do it. If it doesn’t feel right after a while, leave. Life is too short to not enjoy it.</p> <p><strong>Karen Simpson Nikakis</strong> - Put legals in place to protect your assets, do not cohabit or marry, and split all bills. </p> <p><strong>Lois Hone </strong>- Be true to yourself. Choose someone who completes you, the one person you feel you can’t live without. The one person, who makes you smile, laugh and is still there when you are sad and hurt and wants to support you. Oh and if they like to cook and clean as well, go for it!</p> <p><strong>Julie Fause</strong>r - Live each in your own home.</p> <p><strong>Marilyn Langelaar </strong>- Do not compare to previous partner.</p> <p><strong>Janet Olsson</strong> - Be careful. Don't rush into anything.</p> <p><strong>Lynn Dilley</strong> - Just go for it if you are happy and feel safe, but keep your money and documents to yourself.</p> <p><strong>Merle Finlayson</strong> - Go for it! It’s never too late.</p> <p><strong>Margot R McCamley </strong>- Enjoy the relationship, but there are always buts so tread carefully. Think it through thoroughly, but don't dismiss it as folly.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

Jessica Alba surprises dad by buying his childhood home

<p>Jessica Alba has spent the past three years working towards buying her parents a house, but not just any house, she bought her father's childhood home. </p> <p>She took to Instagram to make the announcement, with a teaser video of her special home-renovation project. </p> <p>"Almost three years ago, I started the project of my dreams… I surprised my parents by buying them a house!!" she began. </p> <p>"Now, it wasn't just any house – it was extra sentimental as it was my grandparent's house that my father grew up in," she continued.</p> <p>"After my grandfather passed away, my parents were planning on selling the house in order to pay for my grandmother's medical bills. Well… I pretended like I was going to help them flip it before selling when in reality, I had planned to buy it for them all along."</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C_TWEyhPyy_/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C_TWEyhPyy_/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Jessica Alba (@jessicaalba)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>She published the first part of her renovation series on YouTube and in it explained the sentimental value of the house and how it was a symbol for her father, who was an immigrant from Mexico, that "he had made it". </p> <p>Her family initially planned to sell it to ease some of their financial burden, as her grandmother required "24/7 care" but Alba wanted to keep the house in the family and so her plan began.</p> <p>"Instead of it giving to a stranger, I wanted to keep this home in our family," she said in the YouTube series. </p> <p>The moment Alba surprised her parents was also captured in the video, with her father brought to tears as he was overcome with emotion. </p> <p>"That's so sweet Jessica. That's a big surprise," he said while embracing his daughter.</p> <p>"I'm very proud of you."</p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p> <p> </p>

Money & Banking

How fear of missing out can lead to you paying more when buying a home

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/park-thaichon-175182">Park Thaichon</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-southern-queensland-1069">University of Southern Queensland</a></em></p> <p>The property market is a competitive space where finding a nice home, in the area you want, at a price you can afford is a hard ask.</p> <p>With buyers outnumbering available properties, the pressure is even greater causing some would-be buyers to develop <a href="https://health.clevelandclinic.org/understanding-fomo">a fear of missing out</a> (FOMO) and to make irrational decisions.</p> <p>FOMO might make you worry others are finding nicer homes and getting better deals, or that prices will rise to the point where you are priced out of the market altogether. This could cause you to pay too much or to buy a property in an area unsuitable for your needs.</p> <p>Then there is <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/counseling-keys/202103/overcoming-fear-of-making-mistakes">fear of making a mistake</a> (FOMM), which can also cause problems if you’re a home hunter. You might be reluctant to bid or to negotiate because you are afraid of choosing the wrong property or paying more than it’s worth.</p> <h2>Problems caused by FOMO and FOMM</h2> <p>The principles of contagion theory, crowd psychology and the scarcity principle we identified in <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1111/ijcs.12649?casa_token=271MN72XdP8AAAAA%3AfhYF_2yUJtM7KGv5jvFdXn5UsXQLkMcIM_F6hffYa30QaSdRivjf2mhFX-cr5C7ttCuLl1-e2OFYXBA">our research</a> on panic-buying during the pandemic, can be applied to any purchasing decisions. In this instance we applied them to buying properties in a competitive housing market.</p> <p><a href="https://www.communicationtheory.org/contagion-theory/">Contagion theory</a> applies when people act irrationally under the influence of a crowd. <a href="https://www.bestvalueschools.com/faq/what-is-crowd-psychology/">Crowd psychology</a> is similar but relates to how a crowd behaves in certain circumstances, while <a href="https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/scarcity-principle">scarcity principle</a> is the idea if there are fewer items available, their value increases.</p> <p>Each of these can increase the likelihood of several behaviours when purchasing a property. These include:</p> <ul> <li><strong>Underbidding and overbidding</strong></li> </ul> <p>Fearing other buyers might get the house, house hunters might get caught up in a bidding war and end up paying more than planned.</p> <p>Conversely, buyers with FOMM might fear spending too much so bid too low to start with and risk losing the house.</p> <ul> <li><strong>Following the crowd and peer pressure influence</strong></li> </ul> <p>Buyers might feel <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11403-021-00324-7">pressured to buy</a> in a certain area because it’s popular, even if it is not best fit for them. This can lead to paying more for a house just because others are doing the same.</p> <ul> <li><strong>Delaying decisions</strong></li> </ul> <p>FOMM can lead to <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/ijcs.12990?casa_token=ZhJnLBOwVxUAAAAA%3AW5haHZKSA1rFQsRNdvw0liOoyvdxl0OrFR2phkhGfYC6TnWRv9EsnV-N8w52CmcnAVb8X2yU1obpIjKx">taking too long to decide</a>. This delay can mean missing out on good deals or being forced to rush into a decision and end up overpaying.</p> <ul> <li><strong>Avoiding negotiation</strong></li> </ul> <p>Some buyers might avoid negotiating the price or special conditions such as building and pest inspections and finance approval because they fear the seller will reject their offer. This can result in paying more than they need to if there are problems later.</p> <ul> <li><strong>Excessive inspections and appraisals</strong></li> </ul> <p>While inspections and appraisals are important, too many can suggest indecisiveness driven by fear, resulting in wasted money on unnecessary assessments, and more importantly, wasted time and delayed decisions.</p> <h2>Removing fear from the buying process</h2> <p>Start with thorough research and preparation by learning about different neighbourhoods and house prices. The history of properties and suburbs can be found for free on property websites and is a good place to start.</p> <p>Seek professional guidance from real estate agents or financial advisers to help you through the process.</p> <p>Get insights on market trends from an agent from a selling company or bank to help find homes that meet your criteria. Keep in mind these agents will get some form of incentive from your purchase.</p> <p>All the big banks or loan officers can provide free property reports on specific properties or suburbs.</p> <p>Don’t forget to check council mapping and water authority documents to check for potential future road projects and other developments and for an area’s flood rating.</p> <p>Perform due diligence by thoroughly inspecting properties and reviewing contracts to ensure they meet your needs and are a good investment.</p> <p>For example, it is a good idea to hire a home inspector to check for any hidden issues before making an offer.</p> <p>Another common mistake made by most buyers is not asking their <a href="https://www.qld.gov.au/law/housing-and-neighbours/buying-and-selling-a-property/buying-a-home/before-you-start-looking/appointing-a-solicitor">solicitor</a> to check and give suggestions before signing a contract or offer.</p> <p>A solicitor can check the sale contract before you sign, review the disclosure documents, give advice on your mortgage contract, carry out title searches and explain the results and explain how the purchase may affect your liability for land tax.</p> <p>Do some contingency planning by preparing for unexpected price increases and for the presence of other strong bidders to reduce anxiety about making the wrong decision. Setting aside extra funds could help deal with higher than expected prices or unexpected repairs that need doing.</p> <p>In the end, plan well and make decisions without letting emotions take over. Taking your time to find the right home that fits your budget and goals, rather than rushing into a purchase due to fear of missing out or making a mistake.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/233197/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/park-thaichon-175182">Park Thaichon</a>, Associate Professor of Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-southern-queensland-1069">University of Southern Queensland</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-fear-of-missing-out-can-lead-to-you-paying-more-when-buying-a-home-233197">original article</a>.</em></p>

Money & Banking

Readers response: What are your thoughts on online dating or dating apps for seniors?

<p>When it comes to dating, there are many ways people find their perfect person, and for many that happens online. </p> <p>We asked our readers what their thoughts are on an online dating app for seniors, and the responses were overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Kristeen Bon</strong> - I tried it for a bit, but found the men to be so unrealistic in their expectations. What they say they want and what they REALLY want are poles apart.</p> <p><strong>Helen Smith</strong> - It works great but men really need to look in a mirror now and then.</p> <p><strong>Sue Rowley</strong> - Personally, I’m happy on my own, but if you’re looking for a partner where else is there to meet someone? Pub, supermarket, dog walking? Not many options really, especially when you’re older.</p> <p><strong>Jenny Gordon</strong> - Would not consider it. Would prefer to stay single than see how friends and relatives have been affected by using them.</p> <p><strong>Ali Veldman</strong> - Risky at any age, in my opinion.</p> <p><strong>Diane Derby</strong> - I’d never entertain one. I like being by myself, plus two much catfishing and ghosting to be able to find a decent type.</p> <p><strong>Margaret Godfrey</strong> - Tried it. A dismal failure in a small population. What is the point of men interstate responding when you live a plane flight away?</p> <p><strong>John Coffey</strong> - Met my late partner online, and had a great 10 years. It can be a minefield though.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Relationships

‘Sleep tourism’ promises the trip of your dreams. Beyond the hype plus 5 tips for a holiday at home

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/charlotte-gupta-347235">Charlotte Gupta</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/dean-j-miller-808724">Dean J. Miller</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a></em></p> <p>Imagine arriving at your hotel after a long flight and being greeted by your own personal sleep butler. They present you with a pillow menu and invite you to a sleep meditation session later that day.</p> <p>You unpack in a room kitted with an AI-powered smart bed, blackout shades, blue light-blocking glasses and weighted blankets.</p> <p>Holidays are traditionally for activities or sightseeing – eating Parisian pastry under the Eiffel tower, ice skating at New York City’s Rockefeller Centre, lying by the pool in Bali or sipping limoncello in Sicily. But “<a href="https://www.smh.com.au/traveller/inspiration/pillow-menus-and-sleep-gummies-the-new-hotel-trend-that-s-putting-guests-to-sleep-20230823-p5dyu5.html">sleep tourism</a>” offers vacations for the sole purpose of getting good sleep.</p> <p>The emerging trend extends out of the global wellness tourism industry – reportedly worth more than <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/rogersands/2023/11/17/the-global-wellness-tourism-sector-surpasses-814-billion-market-share/">US$800 billion globally</a> (A$1.2 trillion) and <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/1018497/global-market-size-of-the-wellness-tourism-industry/">expected to boom</a>.</p> <p>Luxurious sleep retreats and sleep suites at hotels are popping up <a href="https://www.countryandtownhouse.com/style/health-and-beauty/sleep-retreats/">all over the world</a> for tourists to get some much-needed rest, relaxation and recovery. But do you really need to leave home for some shuteye?</p> <h2>Not getting enough</h2> <p>The rise of sleep tourism may be a sign of just how chronically sleep deprived we all are.</p> <p>In Australia more than one-third of adults are not achieving the recommended <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352721816301292?via%3Dihub">7–9 hours</a> of sleep per night, and the estimated cost of this inadequate sleep is <a href="https://academic.oup.com/sleep/article/41/8/zsy083/5025924">A$45 billion</a> each year.</p> <p>Inadequate sleep is linked to <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.2147/NSS.S134864">long-term health problems</a> including poor mental health, heart disease, metabolic disease and deaths from any cause.</p> <h2>Can a fancy hotel give you a better sleep?</h2> <p>Many of the sleep services available in the sleep tourism industry aim to optimise the bedroom for sleep. This is a core component of <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4400203/?ref=askdoctorjad.com">sleep hygiene</a> – a series of healthy sleep practices that facilitate good sleep including sleeping in a comfortable bedroom with a good mattress and pillow, sleeping in a quiet environment and relaxing before bed.</p> <p>The more people follow sleep hygiene practices, the better their <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/08964280209596396">sleep quality and quantity</a>.</p> <p>When we are staying in a hotel we are also likely away from any stressors we encounter in everyday life (such as work pressure or caring responsibilities). And we’re away from potential nighttime disruptions to sleep we might experience at home (the construction work next door, restless pets, unsettled children). So regardless of the sleep features hotels offer, it is likely we will experience improved sleep when we are away.</p> <h2>What the science says about catching up on sleep</h2> <p>In the short-term, <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-it-possible-to-catch-up-on-sleep-we-asked-five-experts-98699#:%7E:text=We%20can%20catch%20up%20on,and%20we%20cannot%20resist%20sleep.">we can catch up on sleep</a>. This can happen, for example, after a short night of sleep when our brain accumulates “<a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.3109/07420528.2012.675256">sleep pressure</a>”. This term describes how strong the biological drive for sleep is. More sleep pressure makes it easier to sleep the next night and to sleep for longer.</p> <p>But while a longer sleep the next night can relieve the sleep pressure, it does not reverse the <a href="https://jcsm.aasm.org/doi/pdf/10.5664/jcsm.26918">effects of the short sleep on our brain and body</a>. Every night’s sleep is important for our body to recover and for our brain to process the events of that day. Spending a holiday “catching up” on sleep could help you feel more rested, but it is not a substitute for prioritising regular healthy sleep at home.</p> <p>All good things, including holidays, must come to an end. Unfortunately the perks of sleep tourism may end too.</p> <p>Our bodies do not like variability in the time of day that we sleep. The most common example of this is called “<a href="https://www.mdpi.com/2072-6643/13/12/4543">social jet lag</a>”, where weekday sleep (getting up early to get to work or school) is vastly different to weekend sleep (late nights and sleep ins). This can result in a sleepy, grouchy start to the week on Monday. Sleep tourism may be similar, if you do not come back home with the intention to prioritise sleep.</p> <p>So we should be mindful that as well as sleeping well on holiday, it is important to optimise conditions at home to get consistent, adequate sleep every night.</p> <h2>5 tips for having a sleep holiday at home</h2> <p>An AI-powered mattress and a sleep butler at home might be the dream. But these features are not the only way we can optimise our sleep environment and give ourselves the best chance to get a good night’s sleep. Here are five ideas to start the night right:</p> <p><strong>1.</strong> avoid bright artificial light in the evening (such as bright overhead lights, phones, laptops)</p> <p><strong>2.</strong> make your bed as comfortable as possible with fresh pillows and a supportive mattress</p> <p><strong>3.</strong> use black-out window coverings and maintain a cool room temperature for the ideal sleeping environment</p> <p><strong>4.</strong> establish an evening wind-down routine, such as a warm shower and reading a book before bed or even a “<a href="https://theconversation.com/turns-out-the-viral-sleepy-girl-mocktail-is-backed-by-science-should-you-try-it-222151">sleepy girl mocktail</a>”</p> <p><strong>5.</strong> use consistency as the key to a good sleep routine. Aim for a similar bedtime and wake time – even on weekends.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/231718/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/charlotte-gupta-347235">Charlotte Gupta</a>, Senior postdoctoral research fellow, Appleton Institute, HealthWise research group, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/dean-j-miller-808724">Dean J. Miller</a>, Adjunct Research Fellow, Appleton Institute of Behavioural Science, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/sleep-tourism-promises-the-trip-of-your-dreams-beyond-the-hype-plus-5-tips-for-a-holiday-at-home-231718">original article</a>.</em></p>

Travel Trouble

I’ve been given opioids after surgery to take at home. What do I need to know?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/katelyn-jauregui-1527878">Katelyn Jauregui</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/asad-patanwala-1529611">Asad Patanwala</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jonathan-penm-404921">Jonathan Penm</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/shania-liu-1433659">Shania Liu</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-alberta-1232">University of Alberta</a></em></p> <p>Opioids are commonly prescribed when you’re discharged from hospital after surgery to help manage pain at home.</p> <p>These strong painkillers may have unwanted side effects or harms, such as constipation, drowsiness or the risk of dependence.</p> <p>However, there are steps you can take to minimise those harms and use opioids more safely as you recover from surgery.</p> <h2>Which types of opioids are most common?</h2> <p>The <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0310057X231163890">most commonly prescribed</a> opioids after surgery in Australia are oxycodone (brand names include Endone, OxyNorm) and tapentadol (Palexia).</p> <p>In fact, <a href="https://bpspubs.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/bcp.16063">about half</a> of new oxycodone prescriptions in Australia occur after a recent hospital visit.</p> <p><a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0310057X231163890">Most commonly</a>, people will be given immediate-release opioids for their pain. These are quick-acting and are used to manage short-term pain.</p> <p>Because they work quickly, their dose can be easily adjusted to manage current pain levels. Your doctor will provide instructions on how to adjust the dosage based on your pain levels.</p> <p>Then there are slow-release opioids, which are specially formulated to slowly release the dose over about half to a full day. These may have “sustained-release”, “controlled-release” or “extended-release” on the box.</p> <p>Slow-release formulations are primarily used for chronic or long-term pain. The slow-release form means the medicine does not have to be taken as often. However, it takes longer to have an effect compared with immediate-release, so it is not commonly used after surgery.</p> <p>Controlling your pain after surgery is <a href="https://www.nps.org.au/assets/4811a27845042173-00a4ff09097b-postoperative-pain-management_36-202.pdf">important</a>. This allows you get up and start moving sooner, and recover faster. Moving around sooner after surgery prevents muscle wasting and harms associated with immobility, such as bed sores and blood clots.</p> <p>Everyone’s pain levels and needs for pain medicines are different. Pain levels also decrease as your surgical wound heals, so you may need to take less of your medicine as you recover.</p> <h2>But there are also risks</h2> <p>As mentioned above, side effects of opioids include constipation and feeling drowsy or nauseous. The drowsiness can also make you more likely to fall over.</p> <p>Opioids prescribed to manage pain at home after surgery are usually prescribed for short-term use.</p> <p>But up to <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35545810/">one in ten</a> Australians still take them up to four months after surgery. <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/msc.1837">One study</a> found people didn’t know how to safely stop taking opioids.</p> <p>Such long-term opioid use may lead to dependence and overdose. It can also reduce the medicine’s effectiveness. That’s because your body becomes used to the opioid and needs more of it to have the same effect.</p> <p>Dependency and side effects are also more common with <a href="https://www.anzca.edu.au/getattachment/535097e6-9f50-4d09-bd7f-ffa8faf02cdd/Prescribing-slow-release-opioids-4-april-2018#:%7E:text=%E2%80%9CSlow%2Drelease%20opioids%20are%20not,its%20Faculty%20of%20Pain%20Medicine.">slow-release opioids</a> than immediate-release opioids. This is because people are usually on slow-release opioids for longer.</p> <p>Then there are concerns about “leftover” opioids. One study found 40% of participants were prescribed <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0310057X231163890">more than twice</a> the amount they needed.</p> <p>This results in unused opioids at home, which <a href="https://www.anzca.edu.au/getattachment/558316c5-ea93-457c-b51f-d57556b0ffa7/PS41-Guideline-on-acute-pain-management">can be dangerous</a> to the person and their family. Storing leftover opioids at home increases the risk of taking too much, sharing with others inappropriately, and using without doctor supervision.</p> <h2>How to mimimise the risks</h2> <p>Before using opioids, speak to your doctor or pharmacist about using over-the-counter pain medicines such as paracetamol or anti-inflammatories such as ibuprofen (for example, Nurofen, Brufen) or diclofenac (for example, Voltaren, Fenac).</p> <p>These can be quite effective at controlling pain and will lessen your need for opioids. They can often be used instead of opioids, but in some cases a combination of both is needed.</p> <p>Other techniques to manage pain include physiotherapy, exercise, <a href="https://theconversation.com/hot-pack-or-cold-pack-which-one-to-reach-for-when-youre-injured-or-in-pain-161086">heat packs or ice packs</a>. Speak to your doctor or pharmacist to discuss which techniques would benefit you the most.</p> <p>However, if you do need opioids, there are some ways to make sure you use them <a href="https://www.safetyandquality.gov.au/sites/default/files/2022-04/opioid-analgesic-stewardship-in-acute-pain-clinical-care-standard.pdf">safely and effectively</a>:</p> <ul> <li> <p>ask for <a href="https://associationofanaesthetists-publications.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/anae.16085">immediate-release</a> rather than slow-release opioids to lower your risk of side effects</p> </li> <li> <p>do not drink alcohol or take sleeping tablets while on opioids. This can increase any drowsiness, and lead to reduced alertness and slower breathing</p> </li> <li> <p>as you may be at higher risk of falls, remove trip hazards from your home and make sure you can safely get up off the sofa or bed and to the bathroom or kitchen</p> </li> <li> <p>before starting opioids, have a plan in place with your doctor or pharmacist about how and when to stop taking them. Opioids after surgery are ideally taken at the lowest possible dose for the shortest length of time.</p> </li> </ul> <h2>If you’re concerned about side effects</h2> <p>If you are concerned about side effects while taking opioids, speak to your pharmacist or doctor. Side effects include:</p> <ul> <li> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/health-check-what-causes-constipation-114290">constipation</a> – your pharmacist will be able to give you lifestyle advice and recommend laxatives</p> </li> <li> <p>drowsiness – do not drive or operate heavy machinery. If you’re trying to stay awake during the day, but keep falling asleep, your dose may be too high and you should contact your doctor</p> </li> <li> <p>weakness and slowed breathing – this may be a sign of a more serious side effect such as respiratory depression which requires medical attention. Contact your doctor immediately.</p> </li> </ul> <h2>If you’re having trouble stopping opioids</h2> <p>Talk to your doctor or pharmacist if you’re having trouble stopping opioids. They can give you alternatives to manage the pain and provide advice on gradually lowering your dose.</p> <p>You may experience withdrawal effects, such as agitation, anxiety and insomnia, but your doctor and pharmacist can help you manage these.</p> <h2>How about leftover opioids?</h2> <p>After you have finished using opioids, take any leftovers to your local pharmacy to <a href="https://theconversation.com/health-check-what-should-you-do-with-your-unused-medicine-81406">dispose of them safely</a>, free of charge.</p> <p>Do not share opioids with others and keep them away from others in the house who do not need them, as opioids can cause unintended harms if not used under the supervision of a medical professional. This could include accidental ingestion by children.</p> <hr /> <p><em>For more information, speak to your pharmacist or doctor. Choosing Wisely Australia also has <a href="https://www.choosingwisely.org.au/resources/consumers-and-carers/patient-guide-to-managing-pain-and-opioid-medicines">free online information</a> about managing pain and opioid medicines.</em><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/228615/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/katelyn-jauregui-1527878">Katelyn Jauregui</a>, PhD Candidate and Clinical Pharmacist, School of Pharmacy, Faculty of Medicine and Health, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/asad-patanwala-1529611">Asad Patanwala</a>, Professor, Sydney School of Pharmacy, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jonathan-penm-404921">Jonathan Penm</a>, Senior lecturer, School of Pharmacy, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/shania-liu-1433659">Shania Liu</a>, Postdoctoral Research Fellow, Faculty of Medicine and Dentistry, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-alberta-1232">University of Alberta</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/ive-been-given-opioids-after-surgery-to-take-at-home-what-do-i-need-to-know-228615">original article</a>.</em></p>

Body

How to buy a home: 7 tips for negotiating like a pro

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/park-thaichon-175182">Park Thaichon</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-southern-queensland-1069">University of Southern Queensland</a></em></p> <p>The main purpose of negotiation is to find a mutually acceptable solution for buyers and sellers. Good negotiations greatly improve relationships between buyers, sellers and agents. They also help avoid future problems and conflicts.</p> <p>Negotiating skills become even more important for home buyers in a “seller’s market”, where demand from buyers exceeds supply from sellers. That’s <a href="https://propertyupdate.com.au/australian-property-market-predictions/">currently the case</a> in all Australian capital cities and major regional cities such as Gold Coast, Sunshine Coast and others.</p> <p>Many home buyers mistakenly believe negotiation only occurs during the signing of the sale contract. However, it involves distinct stages: <em>pre-negotiation</em> and <em>during negotiation</em>.</p> <p>So how can people maximise their chances of successfully negotiating a purchase in a seller’s market? I offer the following tips.</p> <h2>Be someone the seller’s agent wants to do business with</h2> <p>Buyers often communicate solely with the seller’s agent, rather than directly with the seller. It’s crucial to ensure the agent views the buyer positively. Ultimately, it’s the agent who presents offers to the seller for their decision.</p> <p>It’s important, then, to understand what might motivate the seller’s agent to choose your offer. The key performance indicator for the agent often revolves around closing a property sale at a reasonable price within a certain time.</p> <p>This means price is a crucial factor. However, other factors can influence the seller’s agent and seller.</p> <p>For example, having pre-approved finance can increase the agent’s confidence in the buyer. If the buyer appears serious, can make quick decisions and makes a good impression, the agent may be more motivated to push for them, even if their offer is slightly lower than others without pre-approved finance.</p> <h2>Be a big fish (for the seller’s agent)</h2> <p>The next strategy is to give the seller’s agent extra incentive to favour you and your offer. <a href="https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.1108/MIP-09-2019-0489/full/html">Our research</a> in customer behaviour suggests businesses value customers who make frequent purchases or engage them for long-term services.</p> <p>For example, the agent would be pleased to learn that the buyer might be interested in buying another property in the near future or in using their rental service for the new property. You have an advantage if you can position yourself as someone who could provide them with extra business.</p> <h2>Point to competing options</h2> <p>In a positive manner, let the seller’s agent know you are considering two or three properties, and this specific property is among those you are inclined to make an offer on.</p> <p>In certain situations, it may stimulate competitive pricing when multiple properties of similar quality are available in the same area. Make it clear to the agent you will choose the property that offers you the best overall value.</p> <p>While this strategy might not necessarily lower the price in a seller’s market, it can prompt the agent to have a fuller discussion with you.</p> <h2>Think beyond price</h2> <p>The next set of tips focuses on the <em>during negotiation</em> stages. It can be challenging for buyers to negotiate a lower price in a market with low supply and high demand. You might have to “think outside the price box”.</p> <p>Buyers often have a specific price range or fixed budget in mind when they start discussions with a seller. However, other factors besides price can influence a property’s overall value.</p> <p>So if a seller won’t adjust the price, consider negotiating for other concessions that could reduce your expenses.</p> <p>These may include:</p> <p><strong>Settlement period</strong></p> <p>Consider the expenses associated with the settlement period. A shorter settlement period could enable buyers to move into the property sooner and save on rent. For example, if a buyer is paying $600 per week in rent, an early settlement could save them around $2,400 per month.</p> <p><strong>Insurance costs after contract signing</strong></p> <p>In many states, buyers’ <a href="https://www.finder.com.au/home-insurance/home-insurance-cost">home insurance cover</a> is required to begin from the date of contract signing. It’s reasonable for buyers to include a special condition requesting the seller to bear the insurance costs until settlement. On average, home insurance may amount to about $140 per month.</p> <p><strong>Cleaning expenses</strong></p> <p>Consider negotiating a condition stipulating that the seller must ensure the property is professionally cleaned by settlement. Failure to do so could result in a $500 adjustment in the buyer’s favour at settlement.</p> <p>In some states, like Queensland, sellers are not obligated to deliver a clean property. Based on typical end-of-lease cleaning charges, internal cleaning of a four-bedroom property could cost <a href="https://firstcallhomeservices.com.au/service-menu/bond-exit-end-lease-cleaning/">$455 to $590</a>.</p> <p><strong>Building and pest inspection costs</strong></p> <p>Buyers should always include a 14-day pre-purchase inspection clause for <a href="https://www.topdogpestcontrol.com.au/building-pest-inspections-gold-coast/">building and pest inspections</a> in their offer. Although they may cost $300 to $600, these inspections provide a clear report that could lead to negotiations after contract signing if they find any issues with the property.</p> <h2>Be careful with your first offer</h2> <p>Don’t present the first offer in writing. It can be challenging to negotiate down the price once it has been written in an offer document.</p> <p>Instead, the buyer should begin by testing the expected price of the property. As well as obtaining property reports from multiple banks, the buyer could talk with the seller’s agent in person about a price range that would be agreeable to the seller.</p> <p>You could include phrases like “a price that will make the seller happy” or “a price that will make the seller accept the offer”. While the agent might not provide a specific price, this talk can provide a guideline for the buyer. All properties up for auction or private sale should have an expected price set, which may or may not be discussed with potential buyers.</p> <p>It’s also advisable to consult a solicitor before submitting an offer or signing a contract. They can offer valuable suggestions to smooth the purchase process and identify any issues.</p> <h2>Use the power of 900</h2> <p>Buyers often submit offers with round numbers, such as $700,000 or $750,000. In a competitive seller’s market, aim to submit an offer with a number that stands out from the rest, yet remains within your budget.</p> <p>An example of such a number is $900. For instance, comparing $700,000 to $700,900, the extra $900 makes the offer feel closer to $710,000.</p> <h2>Write a personalised letter</h2> <p>It’s true the most important point of selling a house for many sellers is price. But they are human and have emotions. Finishing a purchasing offer with a personal letter to the seller can make a difference.</p> <p>Often that $3,000 to $20,000 could be a lot of money for a buyer, but it may not be as much for someone selling a house for $700,000 or $1,000,000. Write the letter to express your feelings about the property in a way that makes it clear you will care for it. Most people selling their home would prefer to have someone look after it well.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/226237/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/park-thaichon-175182">Park Thaichon</a>, Associate Professor of Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-southern-queensland-1069">University of Southern Queensland</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-buy-a-home-7-tips-for-negotiating-like-a-pro-226237">original article</a>.</em></p>

Money & Banking

"While I was home": Goldie Hawn robbed twice in four months

<p>Hollywood star Goldie Hawn recently opened up about a harrowing experience she and longtime partner Kurt Russell endured: two home invasions within the span of just a few months.</p> <p>Hawn shared the details of these incidents during a candid conversation on Kelly Ripa's podcast, "Let's Talk Off Camera".</p> <p>The first robbery occurred while Hawn and Russell were out for dinner. "I went up the stairs, I walked into my closet, and I just lost it," Hawn recalled, describing the moment they returned home to find their house had been burglarised. The intruders had broken in from the balcony, targeting their bedroom and closets. "They completely knocked down my door, which is a safe door, so they're very, very sophisticated, and they got a lot of my goodies," she added.</p> <p>Following the initial invasion, Hawn believed the chances of a repeat incident were slim. However, just four months later, she faced another terrifying experience – this time while she was alone at home. "I hear this big thump upstairs, and I was alone," she reflected. Initially dismissing it as a sonic boom or some other unusual noise, she later discovered that intruders "were trying to get in my bedroom while I was in the house". </p> <p>The dual invasions profoundly impacted Hawn, prompting her to enhance her home security measures significantly. Despite the increased safety precautions, the traumatic events have left a lasting impression.</p> <p>In light of these experiences, Hawn expressed a desire to relocate to Atlanta, where her family resides. "It's so lovely there, I said, 'Hey, guys, why don't we all move there?'" she shared. The idea of a family compound has always been a dream for Hawn and her loved ones. "We've always said if one moves, we all have to move together. That's what we've always said." </p> <p><em>Image: Instagram</em></p>

Legal

10 ways to cruise as a senior

<p>Just because you’re older, that doesn’t mean you can’t experience all that a cruising holiday has to offer. Follow our simple tips for a fun filled holiday on the water.</p> <p><strong>1. Choose the right ship</strong></p> <p>Cruise ships today carry anywhere from six to 6,000 people. The larger megaliners tend to be geared towards families with plenty of crazy rides and high-energy activities. They’ll also probably be crowded with kids. Smaller boutique ships operate at a slower pace and are generally stocked with an older crowd. Do your research and find one to suit you.</p> <p><strong>2. And the right cabin</strong></p> <p>Do you need an accessible cabin? Do you want to reduce walking with a cabin close to the elevators? Is it important for you to have some outside space of your own? These are all important questions that you’ll need to answer when you book. The right cabin can make or break a cruise.</p> <p><strong>3. Pick an appropriate itinerary</strong></p> <p>You’ll need to decide if you want to visit new places every day or spend more time onboard the ship. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. Port heavy itineraries, where you’re stopping at a new destination every day, can be tiring. On the other hand, you might get bored with too many days at sea. Think realistically about your needs and make the right choice for you.</p> <p><strong>4. Research your dates</strong></p> <p>One of the best things about being a senior traveller is that you are (generally) no longer bound by things like school holidays. By avoiding these times you’ll not only save money, you won’t be on a ship with an unusually high proportion of children. When cruising in the Caribbean, you’ll also need to keep in mind the US college holidays so you’re not trapped with a bunch of boozy spring breakers.</p> <p><strong>5. Allow extra time</strong></p> <p>It’s a sad fact of ageing that you’re not as quick on your feet as you used to be. That means you’ll need to factor in extra time for just about everything. Ships can be huge, so you don’t want to be rushing to make a dinner reservation or spa appointment. This applies on shore too. If you’re really late, the ship will leave without you so don’t cut it too fine.</p> <p><strong>6. Choose the right shore excursions</strong></p> <p>Before you book, have a chat with the shore excursions team and get a good idea of the physical requirements. What they consider minimal walking might not be the same as what you consider minimal walking. These tours aren’t cheap, so you want to be sure that you can enjoy everything it involves.</p> <p><strong>7. Look at onboard activities</strong></p> <p>You might not want to get off at every port (which can be exhausting) but still want to be entertained onboard. And adventurous activities like skydiving simulators and giant waterslides may not be your thing any more. Many cruise lines offer fantastic enrichment programs onboard where you can listen to world-class lecturers, learn new skills or watch performances from the likes of the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts or the Lincoln Centre.</p> <p><strong>8. Give yourself time to relax</strong></p> <p>You’re on holiday! If you want to spend a day in bed, watching movies and ordering room service then do exactly that. Don’t feel any pressure to be up and about every day.</p> <p><strong>9. Travel with the right companions</strong></p> <p>Solo, couple, friends or family, there’s a cruise for every group. Cruising is hugely popular with multi-generational groups as there something for everyone to do, but it might not make for the most relaxing holiday. If you’re a solo traveller, you can book a single cabin all to yourself or find a room mate with any number of matching services. Just think carefully – because once you’re onboard with your travel buddy, there’s no getting off.</p> <p><strong>10. Think about medical care</strong></p> <p>Be realistic about any medical needs you may have. Most ships have a decent medical centre, but if you are spending multiple days at sea or cruising to very remote destinations and something happens it might not be enough to help you. If you are concerned, choose cruises that stay close to shore or visit developed countries where you can get proper treatment quickly.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Cruising

Yoko Ono selling John Lennon's New York home for first time in 50 years

<p>For the first time in 50 years, the house where John Lennon and Yoko Ono lived in New York City has hit the market.</p> <p>The brick, bluestone and terra cotta structure at 496 Broome St. was the first home the pair bought together in New York City before they moved to the Upper West Side of Manhattan. </p> <p>Yoko Ono has held onto the property since she first bought it with the late Beatles member, and has now listed it with her son with JLL Real Estate, for an asking price of $US5.5 million ($8.23m AUD).</p> <p>“The building on Broome St. was sort of like a base for their artistic ventures,” Philip Norman, author of “John Lennon: The Life,” told the <em><a href="https://nypost.com/2024/05/21/real-estate/yoko-ono-lists-former-nyc-home-for-5-5m/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">New York Post</a></em>. “Bank Street was their salon, where people could just walk in.”</p> <p>First built in 1885, the two-storey building has an open-plan format, with a gallery-like ground floor space with 14.4-foot-high ceilings, an open kitchen and a lofted bedroom.</p> <p>On the second floor, there’s a live-work space and a recording studio.</p> <p>“496 Broome St. is both a unique piece of New York history and popular culture and a prime investment opportunity for the right buyer,” said Paul Smadbeck, who holds the listing.</p> <p>“Versatile zoning and its location in one of the city’s most desirable and trendsetting neighbourhoods offers an exciting opportunity to create a one-of-a-kind property.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Mediapunch / JLL Real Estate </em></p>

Real Estate

"Welcome home, Harold": Iconic Neighbours actor returns to Ramsay Street

<p>More than 15 years after his departure, Harold Bishop is returning to Ramsay Street. </p> <p>Ian Smith's character has long been a fan favourite on <em>Neighbours</em>, after originally starring on the soap between 1987 and 1991, before he returned in 1996 until his departure in 2009. </p> <p>Since then, Harold has made multiple guest appearances, including in the 2022 finale.</p> <p>When Amazon picked up the Aussie show, Smith rejoined the cast for a short time but quickly left after a health scare.</p> <p>But now, Harold is making another comeback. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/C5fVoAlvJEJ/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C5fVoAlvJEJ/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Neighbours (@neighbours)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The official <em>Neighbours</em> Instagram shared the exciting news of his return, writing, “After 15 years of living away, the legendary Harold Bishop is returning to Erinsborough."</p> <p>“We are thrilled to welcome Ian Smith back to the show and the opening titles, where he belongs.”</p> <p>Fan were quick to flood the comment section with excitable messages, rejoicing in the fact that a fan favourite character was returning. </p> <p>“The best news. The show misses an elder character like Harold,” one person wrote.</p> <p>Another commented, “Absolutely amazing news to wake up too. Welcome home, Harold.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images / YouTube </em></p>

How to look after your mental health while packing up Mum or Dad’s home

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/erika-penney-1416241">Erika Penney</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-technology-sydney-936">University of Technology Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alice-norton-1516505">Alice Norton</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/avalon-tissue-1515840">Avalon Tissue</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p>So Mum or Dad has died, or moved to aged care, and now you’ve got to pack up their house. It’s a huge job and you’re dreading it.</p> <p>It’s normal to feel grief, loss, guilt, exhaustion or even resentment at being left with this job.</p> <p>So how can you look after your mental health while tackling the task?</p> <h2>It’s OK to feel a lot of feelings</h2> <p>Research has documented how this task can exert an intense <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15267431.2021.1943399">physical and emotional toll</a>.</p> <p>This can be more intense for those who had strained – or even <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/epub/10.1177/0030222819868107">traumatic</a> – relationships with the person whose house they’re packing up.</p> <p>Decisions around distributing or discarding items can, in some families, bring up painful reminders of the past or end up <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1074840711428451">replaying strained dynamics</a>.</p> <p>Family members who were carers for the deceased may feel exhaustion, overwhelm, <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/hec.1512?sid=vendor%3Adatabase">burnout</a> or a sense of injustice they must now continue to be responsible for their loved one’s affairs. Grief can be compounded by the practical challenges of deciding how to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/0148-2963(94)00054-I">store or discard belongings</a>, <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/30000385">arrange the funeral</a>, execute the will, deal with the aged care place or, in some cases, navigate legal disputes.</p> <p>But packing up the house may also be cathartic or helpful. <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15267431.2021.1943399">Research</a> has shown how the task of cleaning out a loved one’s belongings can provide an opportunity for family and friends to talk, share memories, and make sense of what has just happened.</p> <p>It’s also normal to grieve before someone dies. What psychologists call “<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29206700/">anticipatory</a> grief” can happen to <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1615888/">relatives packing up the house</a> of a parent who has moved to aged care or palliative care.</p> <h2>What to do with all this stuff?</h2> <p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/0148-2963(94)00054-I">Some</a> treat their loved one’s items with sanctity, holding onto as many of their belongings as possible and creating “shrines” in their honour.</p> <p>Others alleviate the weight of grief by clearing out a loved one’s house as soon as possible, giving away, selling or discarding as much as they can.</p> <p>But if you experience a mix of these – enthusiastically getting rid of some stuff, while desperately wanting to hold onto other things – that’s OK too.</p> <p>One <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10253866.2017.1367677">study</a> identified a process punctuated by four key periods:</p> <ol> <li> <p>numbness and overwhelm at the task of packing the house</p> </li> <li> <p>yearning to maintain a link to the loved through their belongings</p> </li> <li> <p>working through grief, anger and guilt regarding the loved one and the task of managing their belongings, and</p> </li> <li> <p>healing and making sense of the relationship with the deceased and their belongings.</p> </li> </ol> <p>However, it is important to note everyone’s approach is different and there is no “right” way to do the clean out, or “right” way to feel.</p> <h2>Caring for your mental health during the clean out</h2> <p>To care for your mental health during these difficult times, you might try to:</p> <ul> <li> <p>make space for your feelings, whether it’s sadness, loss, resentment, anger, relief or all the above. There is no right or wrong way to feel. <a href="https://guilfordjournals.com/doi/abs/10.1521/jscp.2011.30.2.163">Accepting</a> your emotions is healthier than suppressing them</p> </li> <li> <p>share the load. <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1046/j.1365-2648.1999.01220.x">Research</a> has shown practical support from close friends and family can help a lot with grief. Accept help with packing, planning, dealing with removalists, selling or donating items and cleaning. Don’t be afraid to reduce your mental load by delegating tasks to friends, who are likely wondering how they can help</p> </li> <li> <p>take a systematic approach. Break tasks into their smallest component. For example, aim to clean out a drawer instead of an entire bedroom. This can help the mental and physical task feel more manageable</p> </li> <li> <p>reflect on what’s meaningful to you. Some belongings will have <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/0148-2963(94)00054-I">meaning</a>, while others will not. What was valuable to the deceased may not be valuable to you. Things they probably saw as pretty worthless (a handwritten shopping list, an old sewing kit) may be very meaningful to you. Ask yourself whether retaining a small number of meaningful possessions would allow you to maintain a connection with your loved one, or if clearing out the space and discarding the items is what you need</p> </li> <li> <p>share your story. When you feel ready, share your “<a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15267431.2021.1943399">cleaning out the closet</a>” story with trusted friends and family. Storytelling allows the deceased to live on in memory. <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1046/j.1365-2648.1999.01220.x">Research</a> also suggests we cope better with bereavement when friends and relatives make time to hear our feelings</p> </li> <li> <p>remember that professional help is available. Just as a solicitor can help with legal disputes, a mental health professional can help you process your feelings.</p> </li> </ul> <p>The home of your loved one is not merely a place where they lived, but a space filled with meaning and stories.</p> <p>Packing up the house of a loved one can be incredibly daunting and challenging, but it can also be an important part of your grieving process.</p> <p><em>If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.</em><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223956/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/erika-penney-1416241">E<em>rika Penney</em></a><em>, Lecturer in Clinical Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-technology-sydney-936">University of Technology Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alice-norton-1516505">Alice Norton</a>, Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/avalon-tissue-1515840">Avalon Tissue</a>, Associate Lecturer in Clinical Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-look-after-your-mental-health-while-packing-up-mum-or-dads-home-223956">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

"Am I being too sensitive?": Woman's dilemma after partner forgets 60th birthday

<p>A woman has shared her dilemma on how to approach her partner of 30 years, after he forgot her 60th birthday. </p> <p>"It's my 60th birthday today, and my partner of 30 years has not acknowledged it. Should I tell him?" she titled her post on Reddit. </p> <p>"It's my actual birthday today, and whilst we have planned a big party for next weekend, when I woke up this morning I expected a 'Happy Birthday!' and a smile," she continued. </p> <p>"I didn't get anything. He started my coffee but he does that almost every morning.</p> <p>"At first I thought maybe he forgot but now I am thinking that he thinks he doesn't have to say anything because we are having a big party this weekend. </p> <p>"Am I being too sensitive? Should I tell him? If so, how?" she asked in her post. </p> <p>Hundreds of Reddit users took to the comments to share their thoughts on how to approach the situation, with a few sharing crafty solutions of their own. </p> <p>"I'd make a joke of it. 'I can't believe they moved my birthday!' Or 'I saw on the TV we should ask easy questions to check for dementia- I'll ask you first, when's my birthday?'" one user playfully suggested. </p> <p>"I'm going to say the absolute minimum I'd expect for ANY birthday is my wife wishing me a Happy Birthday. Don't let it fester and ruin your day - just ask him about it" another added. </p> <p>One user saw the bright side of things and said: "He's handed you the best birthday present of all - the opportunity to use this against him for the next twenty years.</p> <p>"I'd be rubbing my hands with glee. Happy Birthday!" </p> <p>"Happy Birthday. Go out and buy a large cake. Eat it all yourself. Nobody need ever know" to which she responded: "there is a Costco not that far away. Go big or go home." </p> <p>Another Redditor came up with an elaborate plan on how she could get her partner's attention. </p> <p>"Purchase this 'Acknowledge Me' t-shirt of WWE wrestle Roman Reigns. Then write 'Birthday' on a piece of card and use some tape to stick on the t-shirt. 'Acknowledge Me Birthday.' Then just wear it around the house," they said. </p> <p>The woman was onboard with the plan, but luckily she didn't need to apply any of their crafty solutions and shared an update. </p> <p>"He just came up to my home office and gave me a big hug, admitting he had forgotten because he was so focussed on both work and next weekend's party," she wrote. </p> <p>"He apologised sheepishly, which was exactly the best outcome possible. Now I have both my birthday acknowledged as well as a fine story and/or bit of ammo to be saved for another day.</p> <p>"So there you go. I've cancelled the 'acknowledge me' t-shirt order, and shall now share my Costco cake with him instead of eating it from across the table, glaring.</p> <p>"Thank you everyone for the very fine passive aggressive suggestions which made me smile. Much appreciated!"</p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p> <p> </p>

Relationships

Senior changes will to leave fortune to pets instead of family

<p>An elderly woman in China has decided to leave her $A4.3 million fortune to her pets instead of her three children, after she claims they never visited or took care of her when she was sick. </p> <p>The Shanghai woman, known by her last name Liu, drafted the will a few years ago according to the <a href="https://www.scmp.com/news/people-culture/trending-china/article/3248592/elderly-china-woman-leaves-us28-million-assets-beloved-pets-instead-children-who-never-visited-even" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>South China Morning Post</em></a>. </p> <p>However, as her three children rarely contacted her, and left her on her own while she was sick, Liu decided her cats and dogs were more deserving of her multi-million dollar fortune, and changed her will. </p> <p>Chen Kai, an official from the China’s Will Registration Centre headquarters, told her that leaving her entire inheritance to animals is illegal in China, but there is a way for her to ensure her pets get taken care of. </p> <p>“Liu’s current will is one way, and we would have advised her to appoint a person she trusts to supervise the vet clinic to ensure the pets are properly cared for,” he told the <em>South China Morning Post</em>. </p> <p>Another official added that Liu could always change her mind, if her children changed their attitude. </p> <p>“We told Auntie Liu that if her children change their attitude towards her, she could always alter her will again,” the official said. </p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p> <p> </p>

Family & Pets

Two senior royals undergo surgery

<p>King Charles and Kate Middleton have postponed their public duties following news that they are both being admitted to hospital for surgery. </p> <p>The news of both procedures were announced within hours of each other, with the Princess of Wales first announcing that had been admitted into hospital for a planned surgery. </p> <p>“Her Royal Highness The Princess of Wales was admitted to The London Clinic yesterday for planned abdominal surgery,” the statement from Kensington Palace read. </p> <p>The surgery was successful and the princess is expected to remain in hospital for 10 to 14 days before returning home to recover. </p> <p>No other details regarding the surgery were given, but a palace spokesmen has revealed that the condition was non-cancerous. </p> <p>“The Princess of Wales appreciates the interest this statement will generate,” the statement added. </p> <p>“She hopes that the public will understand her desire to maintain as much normality for her children as possible; and her wish that her personal medical information remains private.” </p> <p>The palace added that they will “only provide updates on Her Royal Highness’ progress when there is significant new information to share.”</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/C2NDoYrN-9r/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C2NDoYrN-9r/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by The Prince and Princess of Wales (@princeandprincessofwales)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Based on the medical advice, the royal will be out of public duty until after easter, which falls on the 31st of March. </p> <p>They also added that Prince William will also postpone several engagements while his wife is recovering. </p> <p>Less than two hours after the shock announcement, Buckingham Palace revealed that King Charles will also head to hospital next week for a “corrective procedure” on an enlarged prostate. </p> <p>“His Majesty’s condition is benign and he will attend hospital next week for a corrective procedure," the statement read. </p> <p>“The King’s public engagements will be postponed for a short period of recuperation.”</p> <p>Benign prostate enlargement is not a sign of a cancer or a risk of cancer occurring, with one in three men over the age of 50 having symptoms of an enlarged prostate. </p> <p>While few details of Kate's condition were made public, His Royal Highness was keen to share information and encourage other men experiencing symptoms to get their conditions checked. </p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p> <p> </p>

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