“I caught my child shoplifting”
<p>Anne Marr, 68, grapples with the dire topic of children shoplifting, and not just any children, her child. Her advice on what to do when you catch your child shoplifting, “use tough love”.</p>
<p>Now I never thought I would even be confronted with this, but it happened. Peer pressure is a strong thing.</p>
<p>I always had a policy of making sure the children’s bedroom doors were kept open at all times, so the day I walked passed my sons room to find his door shut should have made alarm bells ring, but they didn’t.</p>
<p>He had a friend over that day and the friend asked if they could walk to our local Plaza. We live in a country town and the Plaza was very close. He needed to buy some things for school. They were both 10 and went to the same school. They had just returned from school when they came home and shut themselves in the bedroom</p>
<p>I knocked and opened the door just in time to see things being pushed under the bed. I simply asked if they wanted anything and I reminded my son that the door stays open. I then left for the kitchen and called out for him to come down to the kitchen for a minute.</p>
<p>I didn’t even have to ask. Straight away he came to me and said, “I’m sorry Mum, I know it’s wrong, but my friend talked me into it and it was so easy.”</p>
<p>Back to the bedroom we went and I asked the boys to get the stuff out from under the bed. Made them sort it into piles of who took what. Bagged it up into separate bags. Then I told the friend we were going home to tell his Mum. I also told my son that he had to fix things by acknowledging what he had done was wrong and to turn a wrong into a right. He wasn’t happy, but said “Ok”.</p>
<p>It wasn’t a very successful trip to the other boy’s home, as his Mum was rather horrified at what I was going to do. She said, “Oh well I couldn’t afford to buy him that stuff anyway and I’m certainly not taking him to the police station.” I replied saying, “Well, I thought you should know what’s happened and I’ll leave it to you to decide how to handle it.” And with that I left.</p>
<p>My son and I went to the police station and he confessed that he had shoplifted these things and put the bag on the counter. The young officer looked rather startled and went to get a more senior officer who said, “Right young man come into this room with me, your Mother too.” He pretended to write things down and took my son out to the cells and showed him someone locked up, older of course, for also stealing. He asked my son what he was going to do.</p>
<p>My son told him, “Mum and I are taking the items back to the store to apologise to the manager… then I will tell him how we did it and I will pay for it all.” The total cost came to $92 which amazed me. “A good plan,” said the Police Officer.</p>
<p>The manager was very good at how he handled it. He said that my son was not allowed in the store for 1 year unless an adult was with him, but thanked him for owning up. He also thanked me for doing this, as he had two young children and could be facing this himself in a few years.</p>
<p>I hung the checkout slip on the fridge and told my son that the pocket money he earnt for doing his jobs would be deducted each week off the amount. He earnt $10 a week, so I gave him $2 and deducted $8 each week. My husband thought that this was tough, but I thought tough love was needed. It took nearly the whole year to pay it all.</p>
<p>I then gave him the bag of toys and said “It’s yours now.” He said, “I don’t want it, could I give it to the kindy children instead.” So we ended up giving it to the Kindy.</p>
<p>The older police officer, who I knew well and has been at our Station for over 30 years said it was the first time ever that a parent had done this in his station, and he so wished more parents would do what I had done.</p>
<p>I didn’t forbid my son from seeing his friend, but two weeks after this incident, my boy came home from school and said “Mum I’m not going to be friends with him anymore… he hasn’t learnt his lesson and wants me to go and shop-lift at the toy store now.” “Oh that’s sad” I said.</p>
<p>Some years later that same boy was arrested and sent to a detention centre. I’m happy to say that my son stayed on the straight and narrow path from then on.</p>
<p>Tough love works and the Police are only too happy to help parents and grandparents.</p>
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