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“Absolutely livid”: Woman discovers she’s been fired via text on her wedding day

A woman has recalled the moment she discovered she had lost her job after her boss delivered the news via text on the woman’s wedding day. The bride shared that she got the message from her boss just 30 minutes after she walked down the aisle. The woman shared the story with Ben Askins, who regularly shares stories online of toxic employers, as she read out the messages she received on what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. “On my wedding day, half an hour after the ceremony, I got a text from my boss to let me know I had been fired,” she said. The message from her boss read, “Hey, I hope your wedding went well and that you had a nice time away. I just wanted to let you know that the decision has been made to unfortunately let you go.” “An email has been sent to your personal email address detailing this. I'm really sorry that it didn't work out and wish you all the best moving forward x.” As she was surrounded by loved ones, the bride struggled to contain her emotions as she quickly checked her emails. “I hope your wedding went well and you had a good time. This email is to inform you that your employment will be terminated effective the 20th of May,” the email read. “Your employment has been terminated as we unfortunately feel your performance doesn't meet the expectations that we require for the role.” The woman explained how she felt her manager's email was a “coward's way” of letting her go while she wasn't at work, and was unable to defend herself. “I wasn't going to let it go but what they did... I was really angry at them,” she said. “They had the opportunity to do it in person. Everyone was let go in person except for me.” Askins said the woman’s story was one of the “worst things” he's ever heard a boss do to an employee. “It's meant to be one of the best, most amazing days ever and they've done that to you,” he told the woman. “You have every right to be absolutely livid with them.” Askins' video of the woman’s story has been viewed more than 600,000 times, with many taking particular issue on the bride's boss for being “petty” and “inappropriate”. “This person could have waited a day. It's done on purpose to ruin your special day. Only narcissists would do that,” one said. Another added, “The fact that she texted her to let her know about the email is so petty. She wanted her to know on her wedding day.” Image credits: Shutterstock

Legal

Singapore airline passenger's emotional text mid-turbulence

A mum has revealed the terrifying text she received from her son while he was on board Singapore Airlines flight that <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/travel/travel-trouble/victim-identified-after-plane-hits-deadly-turbulence" target="_blank" rel="noopener">plunged 7,000 feet</a> in a matter of minutes. As turbulence hit the plane 11 hours into its journey from London to Singapore, Josh Barker sent what he thought would be his final text to his mum at 9.10am on May 21. “I don’t want to scare you, but I’m on a crazy flight. The plane is making an emergency landing… I love you all," his text read. His mother, Alison recalled the most "terrifying" two hours of her life after receiving the text, as she waited to hear from her son who was en route to Bali. “It was terrifying. I didn’t know what was going on,” she told BBC. "We didn't know whether he'd survived, it was so nerve wracking. It was the longest two hours of my life. "It was awful; it was petrifying." She said that while her son was lucky to have survived the incident, he was still in “a lot of pain” having sustained minor injuries to his teeth. The aircraft was hit by "severe turbulence" 11 hours into the 13-hour flight to Singapore and was forced to make an emergency landing in Bangkok, Thailand. 71 people were left injured, and one man, British grandfather Geoffrey Kitchen passed away after suffering a heart attack when the turbulence hit. Of the 211 passengers on board, 56 were Australians and 23 were from New Zealand. Singapore Airlines CEO Goh Choon Phong has issued a public apology for the incident in a video message saying that the airline is cooperating with investigations. "We are deeply saddened by this incident. It has resulted in one confirmed fatality, and multiple injuries," he said. "On behalf of Singapore Airlines, I would like to express my deepest condolences to the family and loved ones of the deceased. "We are very sorry for the traumatic experience that everyone on board SQ321 went through... our deepest apologies to everyone affected by this incident." He also said that 143 people who had been on the flight had been taken to Singapore this morning, while the remaining 85 - including six crew members - were still in the Thai capital. "Singapore Airlines swiftly dispatched a team to Bangkok last night, and they have been helping our colleagues with the support on the ground," he said. "A relief flight with 143 of the SQ321 passengers and crew members who were able to travel landed in Singapore this morning at 5.05am. "Another 79 passengers and six crew members are still in Bangkok. "This includes the injured who are receiving medical treatment, as well as their families and loved ones who were on the flight. "Singapore Airlines will continue to extend all possible support to them." Images: X/ news.com.au

Travel Trouble

Surprise! Scientists find falls likely when texting and walking

It seems obvious that texting while walking is <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/people/behaviour/millennials-most-likely-to-text-and-drive/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">risky</a> business. But while there has been plenty of research showing it’s a dangerous distraction, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0966636217309670" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">some</a> <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0179802" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">studies</a> have suggested that younger people are better at negotiating obstacles while on their phones. <div class="copy"> A study <a href="https://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.heliyon.2023.e18366" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">published</a> in Heliyon has refuted this, finding that university students are more likely to fall if they walk while texting. It also found they’re less accurate texters while walking. “On any day it seems as many as 80% of people, both younger and older, may be head down and texting. I wondered: is this safe?” said senior author Dr Matthew Brodie, a neuroscientist and engineer at the University of New South Wales. “This has made me want to investigate the dangers of texting while walking. I wanted to know if these dangers are real or imagined and to measure the risk in a repeatable way.” Brodie and colleagues recruited 50 undergraduate students from UNSW to take part in the study. Participants walked across a specially built tiled surface, fitted with a tile that could slip out halfway through. They were asked to either walk across the surface normally, or walk across it while texting “the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog”. The students were strapped to safety harnesses so they couldn’t fall, and told they may or may not slip. <div style="position: relative; display: block; max-width: 100%;"> <div style="padding-top: 56.25%;"><iframe style="position: absolute; top: 0px; right: 0px; bottom: 0px; left: 0px; width: 100%; height: 100%;" src="https://players.brightcove.net/5483960636001/HJH3i8Guf_default/index.html?videoId=6332776122112" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> </div> The methods used in the experiment. Credit: Heliyon Brodie et al. “What surprised me is how differently people responded to the threat of slipping,” says Brodie. “Some slowed down and took a more cautious approach. Others sped up in anticipation of slipping. Such different approaches reinforce how no two people are the same, and to better prevent accidents from texting while walking, multiple strategies may be needed.” The researchers recorded motion data from the students as they moved and slipped, analysing how stable they were. They found that texting while walking made the students significantly less stable. Specifically, the students “trunk angle” – the angle of their torsos – varied more when they were slipping while texting. This means they were less stable. Participants were also less accurate texters when they did it while walking as opposed to sitting down, and least accurate when they did slip over. “Pedestrians should therefore be discouraged through new educational and technology-based initiatives (for example a ‘texting lock’ on detection of walking) from texting while walking on roadside footpaths and other environments where substantial hazards to safety exist,” conclude the researchers in their paper. Image credits: Shutterstock <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/health/body-and-mind/texting-walking-falls/">This article</a> was originally published on <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com">Cosmos Magazine</a> and was written by <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/contributor/ellen-phiddian/">Ellen Phiddian</a>. </div>

Body

"The audacity": Mum spots man sending vile texts about her and her son midflight

A Qantas passenger has been left stunned after seeing a man writing “racist” texts about her and her son after claiming the toddler kicked the back of his chair. The woman and her one-year-old had been aboard Qantas flight QF158 from Auckland to Melbourne when she saw the disgruntled passenger describe her as a “fat Islander woman” and her son as a “black kid kicking me”. She took to Facebook to share her story, saying the ordeal brought her to tears and had her questioning if she could ever fly without her husband again. The mother said the tension between her and the man seated in front of her son began when he turned around and shook his head at the one-year-old. She asked the man if anything was wrong, whom she claims responded, “I just hope he doesn't kick my seat the whole way”. She said she felt confused because, from her son’s position, his legs could barely dangle off his chair, let alone kick the seat in front. The mother told the passenger in front that her son’s legs were too short to do so and added that if he was so concerned about sitting in front of a child, then he should have flown business class. Mid-air, the mother spotted the man venting his anger to a friend via text, referring to her as a “fat Islander woman” and her son as a “black kid”. “I feel as though the whole interaction had nothing to do with my son 'kicking' his chair but merely something to do of how we looked with his racial comments or simply because I had a child who was sitting right behind him,” she wrote. The woman claimed when she confronted the man about the nasty texts, he appeared “shocked” and immediately started to delete the message. At this point, the mother said that she and her son were both “tired, frustrated and mad”. The mother eventually moved to the back of the plane after a flight attendant was made aware of the ordeal. In her Facebook post, she thanked a man and his teenage son who volunteered to sit in their original seats behind the disgruntled man. “I'm not one to share anything or write statuses but this one I was prompted to in the hopes that if you see anything like that I hope you are not a bystander like the many people on that flight who didn't bother to help or do anything.” Despite the incident, she and her son are doing well, but she will “definitely” not be travelling without her husband ever again. Facebook users flocked to the comments and were quick to sympathise with the woman. “Your so brave, even in tears you still the bigger person who stood up for yourself against such bullying and racism,” one comment read. “Traveling with a toddler is hard and that punk made it worst for you!” another said. “I'm so sorry you had to go through that sis, my gosh the audacity this man has,” a third wrote. Image credit: Facebook

Travel Trouble

Meghan and Kate’s fiery text exchange revealed

An explosive text exchange between Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle has been aired by Prince Harry, detailing how the women clashed over Princess Charlotte’s dress for Harry and Meghan’s wedding. In the Duke of Sussex’s memoir Spare, he shared exactly what was said between Kate and Meghan which led to him finding his wife “on the floor sobbing”. Harry wrote that the week of his 2018 wedding to Meghan, Kate texted his soon-to-be wife about a “problem” with Princess Charlotte’s bridesmaid dress. “The French haute couture dresses had been hand-sewn based solely on [the bridesmaids’] measurements, so it was not surprising that they needed alterations,” Harry explained of the dresses, which were custom-made by Givenchy’s then-creative director Clare Waight Keller, who also created Meghan’s wedding dress. “Meg didn’t reply to Kate straight away. Yes, she had endless wedding-related texts, but mostly she was dealing with the chaos surrounding her father. So the next morning she texted Kate that our tailor was standing by,” Harry wrote. Meghan added that the tailor’s name was “Ajay” and he was “at the Palace”. But Harry claims “this wasn’t sufficient”. He explained that Kate wrote back, complaining, “Charlotte’s dress is too big, too long, too baggy. She cried when she tried it on at home.” According to Harry, Meghan replied, “Right, and I told you the tailor has been standing by since 8am. Here. At KP. Can you take Charlotte to have it altered, as the other mums are doing?” Harry claimed Kate rejected the offer, demanding that “all the dresses need to be remade,” and that her own wedding dress designer, Sarah Burton, had agreed with her. “Meg asked if Kate was aware of what was going on right now. With her father. Kate said she was well aware, but the dresses. And the wedding is in four days!” Harry wrote, to which his wife reportedly replied sharply, “Yes, Kate, I know.” Harry went on to explain that his wife eventually replied to Kate with, “I’m not sure what else to say. If the dress doesn’t fit, then please take Charlotte to see Ajay. He’s been waiting all day.” “Fine,” he says Kate responded. In his memoir, Harry says that while he came home to find Meghan “on the floor sobbing”, he hadn’t considered Kate’s behaviour to be malicious, telling his bride that she “hadn’t meant any harm.” Image credits: Getty Images

Beauty & Style

Do you use predictive text? Chances are it’s not saving you time – and could even be slowing you down

Typing is one of the most common things we do on our mobile phones. A recent survey suggests that millenials spend <a href="https://www.provisionliving.com/blog/smartphone-screen-time-baby-boomers-and-millennials/">48 minutes</a> each day texting, while boomers spend 30 minutes. Since the advent of mobile phones, the way we text has changed. We’ve seen the introduction of autocorrect, which corrects errors as we type, and word prediction (often called predictive text), which predicts the next word we want to type and allows us to select it above the keyboard. Functions such as autocorrect and predictive text are designed to make typing faster and more efficient. But research shows this isn’t necessarily true of predictive text. A <a href="https://dl.acm.org/doi/10.1145/2858036.2858305">study</a> published in 2016 found predictive text wasn’t associated with any overall improvement in typing speed. But this study only had 17 participants – and all used the same type of mobile device. In 2019, my colleagues and I published <a href="https://doi.org/10.1145/3338286.3340120">a study</a> in which we looked at mobile typing data from more than 37,000 volunteers, all using their own mobile phones. Participants were asked to copy sentences as quickly and accurately as possible. Participants who used predictive text typed an average of 33 words per minute. This was slower than those who didn’t use an intelligent text entry method (35 words per minute) and significantly slower than participants who used autocorrect (43 words per minute). <h2>Breaking it down</h2> It’s interesting to consider the poor correlation between predictive text and typing performance. The idea seems to make sense: if the system can predict your intended word before you type it, this should save you time. In my most <a href="https://doi.org/10.1145/3411764.3445566">recent study</a> on this topic, a colleague and I explored the conditions that determine whether predictive text is effective. We combined some of these conditions, or parameters, to simulate a large number of different scenarios and therefore determine when predictive text is effective – and when it’s not. We built a couple of fundamental parameters associated with predictive text performance into our simulation. The first is the average time it takes a user to hit a key on the keyboard (essentially a measure of their typing speed). We estimated this at 0.26 seconds, based on <a href="https://dl.acm.org/doi/10.1145/2470654.2466180">earlier research</a>. The second fundamental parameter is the average time it takes a user to look at a predictive text suggestion and select it. We fixed this at 0.45 seconds, again based on <a href="https://dl.acm.org/doi/10.1145/1240624.1240723">existing data</a>. Beyond these, there’s a set of parameters which are less clear. These reflect the way the user engages with predictive text – or their strategies, if you like. In our research, we looked at how different approaches to two of these strategies influence the usefulness of predictive text. The first is minimum word length. This means the user will tend to only look at predictions for words beyond a certain length. You might only look at predictions if you’re typing longer words, beyond, say, six letters – because these words require more effort to spell and type out. The horizontal axis in the visualisation below shows the effect of varying the minimum length of a word before the user seeks a word prediction, from two letters to ten. The second strategy, “type-then-look”, governs how many letters the user will type before looking at word predictions. You might only look at the suggestions after typing the first three letters of a word, for example. The intuition here is that the more letters you type, the more likely the prediction will be correct. The vertical axis shows the effect of the user varying the type-then-look strategy from looking at word predictions even before typing (zero) to looking at predictions after one letter, two letters, and so on. A final latent strategy, perseverance, captures how long the user will type and check word predictions for before giving up and just typing out the word in full. While it would have been insightful to see how variation in perseverance affects the speed of typing with predictive text, even with a computer model, there were limitations to the amount of changeable data points we could include. So we fixed perseverance at five, meaning if there are no suitable suggestions after the user has typed five letters, they will complete the word without consulting predictive text further. Although we don’t have data on the average perseverance, this seems like a reasonable estimate. <h2>What did we find?</h2> <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/12/graph-text.jpg" alt="" />Above the dashed line there’s an increase in net entry rate while below it, predictive text slows the user down. The deep red shows when predictive text is most effective; an improvement of two words per minute compared to not using predictive text. The blue is when it’s least effective. Under certain conditions in our simulation, predictive text could slow a user down by as much as eight words per minute. The blue circle shows the optimal operating point, where you get the best results from predictive text. This occurs when word predictions are only sought for words with at least six letters and the user looks at a word prediction after typing three letters. So, for the average user, predictive text is unlikely to improve performance. And even when it does, it doesn’t seem to save much time. The potential gain of a couple of words per minute is much smaller than the potential time lost. It would be interesting to study long-term predictive text use and look at users’ strategies to verify that our assumptions from the model hold in practice. But our simulation reinforces the findings of previous human research: predictive text probably isn’t saving you time – and could be slowing you down. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/do-you-use-predictive-text-chances-are-its-not-saving-you-time-and-could-even-be-slowing-you-down-170163" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Technology

Michael Slater’s alleged text messages revealed

A former partner of cricketer Michael Slater has revealed the disturbing text messages she claims he sent her. The mother-of-three and the cricketer broke off their relationship which saw Slater allegedly threaten to release intimate videos and photos he had of her. The woman described Slater as a “narcissist” and tried to get him to sign a legal document to ensure he didn’t release the private photos. In the series of text messages shown to <a href="https://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/victoria/exgirlfriends-of-cricketer-michael-slater-reveal-harrowing-physical-emotional-torment/news-story/428f3b352dd71d6eb833c2206b408592" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Herald Sun</a>, Slater allegedly called the woman “heartless” when she refused to get back with him and he threatened that she would “feel his pain”. “I am going to do my best to make you feel my pain,” he allegedly sent in one of the messages. “I’m now completely over you and going to bring you down. No one deserves the treatment I’ve received,” another message allegedly read. “You’ve (sic) f***ed and a piece of dog s**t,” he allegedly sent in a third. The woman told the publication that Slater allegedly threatened to self harm and had also thrown her on the ground during an argument. The 52-year-old cricketer is currently in a mental health facility in Sydney and is not allowed to contact those who made a complaint against him due to apprehended violence orders. Earlier this year on July 14, the cricketer was charged for breaching his bail after police attended his home following concerns for his welfare. He was granted strict conditional bail, and must stay away from alcohol and drugs, and be on good behaviour. Image: Getty

Legal

Heartbreaking final texts from teen who died on school trip

After the distraught parents of the 15-year-old boy who died on an overseas school trip in June 2019 stated that more should have been done to prevent his death, the upsetting final text messages he sent to his mother have been revealed. Timothy Fehring was meant to be on the “trip of a lifetime” in Germany with his classmates from Blackburn high-school, with two teachers serving as chaperones. Now it has been shown in a string of text messages received from her son that his condition appears to have worsened everyday, along with his desperation to feel well enough to enjoy the trip. He initially messaged to say he was “very sick” after arriving in Germany, which he linked to the spicy food he was served on the plane and in his dinner: “Hey mum it’s 6:58 here and I’m very sick. I think it’s all the spicy food because I have been on Thai Airlines and they only gave me spicy food and now I’m having dinner that has spices in it because it’s German,” he wrote, according to an image of a text exchange. <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/07/Texts1.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> “I almost throw up and am working on getting better so I can have a better time. I’m going to sleep like a baby because it might be exhaustion. I have not slept in hours and I always feel dizzy," he messaged. In a separate message, Timothy wrote: “Love you mummy and will keep you up to date with more.” About an hour later suggested that the water he was drinking might have been contaminated, causing him to feel sick. “I also think it has to do with the water because someone had a blood nose when they had it and I was feeling sick so I might have to buy some water,” he wrote. Shortly after that message he asked his mum for help with the water issue. “I can’t buy the water because it’s just the same water ugh can you help me mum?”. The teenager’s <a href="https://www.oversixty.co.nz/travel/travel-trouble/grieving-parents-call-for-change-after-aussie-teen-dies-on-school-trip" target="_blank" rel="noopener">parents say teacher's were too fast to dismiss his illness as homesickness</a> following the release of a coroner’s report that documented the days just prior to his passing Timothy was vomiting from the beginning of the trip and couldn’t keep food down, was persistently exhausted and lost about five kilos in just a few days, according to details outlined in the report. Attempts to revive him via CPR were unsuccessful, and he passed away on June 28, 2019. Images: Nine

Caring

Britney Spears shares texts sent from mental health facility

Britney Spears has shared - and quickly deleted - a series of screenshots of messages she sent her mother, childhood friend and former lawyer during a 2019 stay in a mental health facility she alleges she was forced into. “It’s a little different with proof,” Spears captioned the now-deleted post on Instagram on Monday, per <a href="https://pagesix.com/2022/07/25/britney-spears-shares-texts-she-sent-from-mental-health-facility/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Page Six</a>. <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/07/brit-text2.jpg" alt="" width="1279" height="720" /> Britney Spears claimed her messages went unanswered in a now-deleted post on social media. Image: Page Six The first screenshot shows texts the Toxic singer sent to her mum, Lynne Spears, which she claimed Lynne didn’t respond to. “He was saying he wants to UP the seraquil [sic] and I’m like whoaaaaaaa horsey go f**k yourslwf [sic],” the first text reads. It is unclear whether the pop star was referring to a doctor at the facility or her dad, Jamie Spears, who controlled her medical care as her conservator. “Seraquil I thought was a sleep aid but it’s for bipolar and is WAAAAAY Stronger than lithium,” she continued in the text messages. “I literally feel alll [sic] the sick medicine in my stomach. “I feel like he’s trying to kill me. I swear to god I do.” According to <a href="https://www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-4718/seroquel-oral/details" target="_blank" rel="noopener">WedMD</a>, Seroquel, also known as quetiapine, is an antipsychotic medication used to treat mood disorders such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Spears claimed that she got “no response” from Lynne at the time, but heard from her when she checked out of the facility. “Her words were, ‘You should have let me visit you and give you a hug’,” Spears wrote. <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/07/brit-texts1.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> Britney Spears shared screenshots of texts sent to her mother (left) and her childhood friend Jensen Fitzgerald (right) which she claims went unanswered. Images: Page Six In the second screenshot, Spears messaged her friend Jansen Fitzgerald to help her find a new lawyer, having been appointed a lawyer to represent her when her conservatorship began in 2008 and not having the right to hire her own counsel until 2021. “I need John bells [sic] number please,” the text to Fitzgerald reads. “When u can.” She went on to ask her friend about lithium, the mood-stabilising drug Spears said made her feel “drunk” after her medication was changed without her say. “I have a feeling well you will say OK but it still doesn’t make sense,” Spears wrote, adding in the caption that she “never heard back” from Fitzgeral either. But, her friend took to social media on Monday afternoon and insisted she “did respond”, speculating that “some of [her] messages were deleted” from Spears’ phone, which Jaime allegedly monitored. “When she left the facility my phone number was blocked from her and we have never spoken again,” Fitzgerald added. “I have tried to reach her through every possible outlet and always failed.” Lynee shared Fitzgerald’s response on her own Instagram pagel and that she has “all the ‘whole conversations as well”. In the final screenshot, Spears can be seen messaging her court-appointed lawyer, Samuel D Ingham III, telling him she wanted to change after she was released from the facility. “I want to talk about going to court when this is done and getting my medical rights,” she wrote.. “When this program is over I don’t want to work at all … I want to live for me and have an adventurous life,” Britney told Ingham. <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/07/brit-texts2.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> A screenshot of messages between Britney Spears and her court-appointed lawyer were also shared in the since-deleted post. Image: Page Six Ingham went on to resign in 2021, being replaced by former federal prosecutor Mathew Rosengart. In her caption, Spears also claimed her sister, Jaimie Lynn Spears, texted her the message: “They’re not gonna let you go so why are you fighting it”. During her <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/entertainment/music/i-am-traumatised-britney-spears-speaks-out-against-dad-for-the-first-time-ever" target="_blank" rel="noopener">first-ever public court speech</a> last year, Spears claimed her father sent her to a mental health facility against her will after a disagreement over her Las Vegas residency. “My dad and anyone involved in this conservatorship – and my management, who played a huge role in punishing me when I said no – ma’am, they should be in jail,” she told the judge at the time. Image: @britneyspears (Instagram)

Caring

The text message that sparked fury among Wimbledon stars

Harmony Tan pulled out of the Wimbledon doubles tournament on Wednesday the 29th of June. This comes just hours after stunning Serena Williams, leaving her partner “sad, disappointed and angry”. The French player was scheduled to play women’s doubles with Tamara Korpatsch but withdrew due to a thigh injury. She had sent her would-be teammate a text message to break the bad news. “She just texted me this morning,” a furious Korpatsch wrote on Instagram. “Let me wait here 1 hour (alone on the court) before the match started. I’m very sad, disappointed and also very angry that I can’t play my 1st Doubles Grand Slam. “It’s really not fair for me. I didn’t deserve that. She asked me before the tournament if I wanna play doubles and I said yes. I didn’t ask her, she asked me! “If you’re broken after a 3h match the day before, you can’t play professional. That’s my opinion.” <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CfY-C0_NdXR/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CfY-C0_NdXR/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Tamara Korpatsch (@tami.korpatsch)</a> </div> </blockquote> Korpatsch included a series of critical hashtags in her post, including “unsportsmanlike”, “unfair” and “mad”. Tan recorded the biggest win of her career with a three-set triumph over Williams on Wednesday the 29th of June. Playing her first ever match at Wimbledon and only her ninth grand slam match overall, Tan secured a dramatic 7-5 1-6 7-6 (10-7) victory. “When I first saw the draw, I was really scared. Because it’s Serena Williams, she’s a legend,” Tan said afterwards. “When I was young I was watching her so many times on the TV. For my first Wimbledon this is just... wow.” Williams has brushed off any talk of retirement after the defeat by insisting she is “motivated” to play at the US Open later this year. “The US Open was the place where I won my first slam, it’s super-special. There’s definitely a lot of motivation to get better and play at home,” the 40-year-old said. Williams refused to speculate on whether or not she will be back at Wimbledon in 2023, as doubts had been growing about whether Williams would return to the sport after dropping from number one to 1204th in the rankings after taking time off to recover from an injury. Image: Instagram

News

Unseen texts claim Meghan Markle knew controversial letter would leak

As Meghan Markle's court battle with a British publisher continues, a major bombshell has been dropped about the authenticity of the Duchess' claims. In the lengthy legal battle, Meghan Markle claims that Associated Newspapers misused Meghan's private information when they published a letter she sent to her father before her wedding to Prince Harry in 2018. But now, Meghan's former private secretary Jason Knauf claims she was "happy for the public to read" the letter, and altered her language in the correspondence to "pull at the heartstrings" of the public. The court heard that the duchess had written, “Given I’ve only ever called him ‘daddy’ it may make sense to open as such, despite him being less than paternal, and in the unfortunate event that it leaked it would pull at the heartstrings.” “Obviously everything I have drafted is with the understanding that it could be leaked, so I have been meticulous in my word choice.” The duchess later texted Knauf again, saying: “Honestly Jason, I feel fantastic." “Cathartic and real and honest and factual. And if he leaks it then that’s on his conscience." “And at least the world will know the truth, words I could never voice.” As these revelations came to light, lawyers for Associated Newspapers are hoping to overturn the original decision of the high court by arguing the letter was crafted with the "possibility of public consumption" in mind. The letter was sent to Meghan's father Thomas after he refused to walk her down the aisle at the high-profile royal wedding, and the letter was subsequently sold by Thomas to the UK newspaper. Image credits: Getty Images

Legal

REVEALED: Horrific texts between dad and girlfriend hours before son dies

Warning: This story contains graphic content relating to child abuse which may distress some readers. Messages between a UK man and his partner accused of child cruelty have been <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/news-life/dad-talked-about-digging-sons-grave-in-texts-before-murder/news-story/1fe1500c080d5cae27d4676e4f234421" target="_blank">heard in court today</a>, including threats to end his six-year-old son’s life just two days before his death. Thomas Hughes sent a text to partner Emma Tustin about digging the little boy’s grave after Tustin claimed Arthur Labinjo-Hughes was misbehaving. Coventry Crown Court also heard that Hughes also said, “Kid’s getting ended when I’m back”, and that he would “take his neck off”. The messages came after Tustin took Arthur to a hair appointment at friend Catherine Milhench’s home on June 17 last year, just two days before he died. Jurors were told that stepmum Tustin complained to Hughes, saying that she “had to tell Arthur off” in front of Catherine’s partner Tobias Jarman. “Ask T [Tobias] to dig Arthur’s grave for me please,” Hughes replied. When Tustin said Hughes would have to “pay double”, Hughes said: “F**k me I’ll pay quadruple”. Tustin continued to complain about Arthur on June 15 in further messages. “Backchatting me for joke threw himself on the floor shouting abuse. Still screaming,” she wrote in one message. Hughes replied: “Just gag him or something. Tie some rope around his mouth with a sock in it or something.” On Wednesday, jurors watched CCTV footage of Tustin eating McDonald’s while Arthur was left in a hallway for 14 hours and made to sleep on the floor. <img style="width: 500px; height: 281.25px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7844851/hughes-court.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/87f6a6867337489e81482551de1fc84f" /> Hughes pictured with Arthur (left) and Tustin (right). Images: Supplied They previously heard audio clips of Athur sobbing while being allegedly abused, which had been recorded by Tustin. In another recording for his uncle Blake, the boy can be heard saying: “Blake no-one loves me, Blake no-one loves me.” Crying in another clip, he repeated the phrase, “Daddy’s going to throw me out the window” multiple times. Arthur was treated in a way that matched the “medical definition of child torture” prior to his death, and was deprived of food, a bed, and clothes. Jurors heard that he was found unresponsive at home in Solihull on June 16 last year. Arthur passed away in hospital the following day, with a post-mortem examination determining his death was caused by a “head trauma inflicted on him by an adult” that was consistent with being “vigorously shaken and his head banged repeatedly against a hard surface”. Doctors also reported that he had been “poisoned with salt” and was covered with bruises. The court was told that Tustin took more than 22 photos and videos of Arthur following the incident. Prosecutors said that Tusin took 12 minutes to call emergency services after she allegedly assaulted him, despite having her phone. They said she told paramedics Arthur “fell and banged his head and while on the floor banged his head another five times”. Tustin and Hughes have been accused with multiple counts of child cruelty following their “systematic, cruel behaviour” and abuse in the weeks before he died. One witness told the court that Arthur was “too weak” to hold a glass of water to his mouth. They said his “clothes looked dirty, his lips cracked, he could barely open his mouth to speak, his hair was dirty, his nails were dirty and he looked malnourished, gaunt and worn-out”. “Both defendants participated in a campaign of cruelty intended to cause Arthur significant harm and suffering,” Prosecutor Jonas Hankin QC said. “Violence and intimidation, both physical and verbal, were routine. “Arthur’s visible injuries, his miserable physical condition and obvious despair provided each defendant with a daily reminder of the lengths to which the other would go to cause him harm.” Jurors were told that Arthur died three months after he and his father moved into Tustin’s move, after he had been placed in Hughes care after his mum was jailed for 18 years for stabbing her boyfriend to death. Children’s social services and police were contacted by Arthur’s grandmother in April 2020, as she expressed concerns over his care after seeing bruises on his back and Tustin was seen shoving him headfirst into the stairs. However, “no concerns were raised” after children’s services saw Arthur on April 17, and no further action was taken. Tustin has admitted to child cruelty by “forcing him to stand, isolating him within the family home, and physically or verbally intimidating him”. Hughes has denied a similar charge. Both also deny they murdered him or an allegation of child cruelty by feeding him salt. They are jointly accused of two counts of child cruelty by assault on multiple occasions, as well as by withholding food and/or drink. The trial is ongoing. If you or someone you know is experiencing sexual or physical abuse, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800. Image: Supplied

Legal

Hate ‘can we talk’ texts? Here’s how to deal with it

Do messages from a friend or partner asking “can we talk?” leave you feeling anxious? You’re not the only one. Certain styles of communication can leave us feeling anxious or prompt catastrophizing - when you worry about the worst things that could arise from a situation - even if the other person had only good intentions. Psychologist Vi-An Le Nguyen says the reason why these vague ways of communicating can be anxiety-inducing is because “the [recipient] hasn’t been taken on the journey”. When someone receives a message like “can we talk” or a missed call with a message asking to return it, Ms Le Nguyen says “a lot of pre-work has happened … and the recipient would just not be aware of the thinking that’s gone into it”. “Someone without anxiety would likely be slightly worried by [communication] like that but for someone with anxiety, they think about all the worst possible scenarios and outcomes and [become] consumed and overwhelmed by those possibilities,” psychologist Phoebe Lee agrees. “Anxious people often also have hesitant or ambivalent feelings towards change. [And] out-of-the-blue [communication] is often a sign that maybe something’s going to change,” Ms Le Nguyen adds. Tips to manage it If a message or random call has left you feeling anxious, Dr Lau says you could try asking the person it came from if there is anything you need to know or prepare for before you talk to or see them. You can ask whether it’s an emergency or not, but Dr Lau cautions seeking too much reassurance as “that can be a part of reinforcing anxiety”. “Nobody is responsible for managing another person’s anxiety,” psychologist Sarah Ashton says. “Having said that, we can ask for support and care from those around us - it’s just important that it’s framed in that way.” As well as seeking support from others around you, Dr Lau and Dr Ashton stress that it’s important to do work to understand and manage your anxiety. “[We often see people] with anxiety think that if the other person would just be extra communicative and always respond on time, or give explanations, [that] would be the solution,” Dr Ashton says. “The solution to your anxiety is you learning to understand and manage it [so you can] regulate yourself in times where there is uncertainty, which is part of life.” If you do want to change up your communication style to reduce the worry of others - with or without anxiety - Dr Ashton recommends considering the timing of your texts, calls, or emails, and thinking about how the words you use could be received. If you need to talk about something bad, Ms Le Nguyen has a few tips too. In the context of friendships and relationships, she recommends framing what you want to say in terms of your feelings. “You could say, ‘I’ve been feeling this, can we talk about it?’” In a workplace context, you might need to adjust your language to be more concise and formal. “Give as much signalling as you can upfront. You could say [for example], ‘Can you let me know when you’re free to talk about your performance for the next quarter?’” Ms Le Nguyen suggests. “Be honest, but specific so the person knows what’s to come.”

Mind

Woman texts dead dad every day for 4 years – then gets an emotional reply

A woman who texted her dead dad everyday for four years revealed the emotional response she received on the anniversary of his passing. Chastity Patterson from Arkansas, USA, had been sending her father daily life updates to help her stay connected to him despite his passing in 2015. And to mark the four-year anniversary of his death, Chastity wrote: “Tomorrow is going to be a tough day again! “It’s been 4 years since I lost you and not a day goes by that I don’t miss you.” She then explained all the changes that have occurred in her life since then, saying how she’s beaten cancer, graduated university and had her heart broken. She continued: “I picked my head up and became an even stronger woman. I lost all my friends and hit rock bottom, but I found someone who came into my life and saved me.” The 23-year-old then said that she is “still driving momma crazy” and “keeping her on her toes” even while he’s not around. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me the most,” she said. She also admitted that the thought of marriage terrified her, adding: “I’ll have to walk that long aisle alone and you won’t be there to tell me everything will be okay, I’m doing great, you would be so proud of the woman I have become …” <iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fchastity.patterson%2Fposts%2F10211925503173276&width=500" width="500" height="688" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" allow="encrypted-media"></iframe> She ended the heartfelt message with a witty note, saying that her “smart mouth” and “attitude has not changed”. After sending the lengthy text, Chastity received a response from a grieving father who was quietly reading the text messages she had been sending for the last four years. The father, who’s name is Brad, said: “I lost my daughter in a car wreck in August 2014 and your messages have kept me alive. “I’m sorry you lost someone so close to you, but I have listened to you over the years and I have watched you grow and go through more than anyone. “I have wanted to text you back for years, but I didn’t want to break your heart. You are an extraordinary woman and I wish my daughter would have become the woman you are. He went on to reassure her that her father would have been proud of her and that their communication with one another was a “sign from God.” He signed off: “Take care and I look forward to your update tomorrow.” After receiving the emotional response, Chastity posted the exchange on Facebook where it quickly gained 141,000 likes and 272,000 shares. She wrote: “I text my dad everyday to let him know how my day goes for the past four years! Today was my sign that everything is okay, and I can let him rest.”

Relationships

Yes, you can unsend that text and here's how

Oops, wrong number! D’oh, stupid autocorrect! Gah, why did I think texting my ex was a good idea?! We’ve all had our share of cringe-worthy texts that we regret the moment we send them. In the past, you haven’t had too many options: send a quick apology, hope the other person will gloss over your oversight, or block that contact and delete all evidence of your lapse in judgment. Thankfully, that all ends today. <a rel="noopener noreferrer" href="https://www.onsecondthought.co/" target="_blank">On Second Thought</a> is an app that lets you take back your texts after hitting send. It syncs with your usual texting program to let you message everyone on your contact list as usual, just in a different app—and with some nifty “unsend” features that prevent endless embarrassment. The app lets you choose a “grace period” of up to 60 seconds after you hit send when you can delete the message. Even if the other person doesn’t have On Second Thought, you can either recall the text to edit it, or delete it completely. Either way, your almost-recipient will be none the wiser, and you get to save face. If you have a habit of sending unfortunate texts that you regret the next day, On Second Thought has another solution. During periods of time when you don’t quite trust yourself to make great texting decisions – say, when grabbing drinks with that pot-stirring friend who always convinces you to call out your ex – the app can set up a “curfew.” Any texts you try to send during that time will be held until morning. In the morning, when your head is clear, you can decide whether you want to follow through with sending them. The unsend app isn’t available on the Apple App Store yet, but you can <a rel="noopener noreferrer" href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=co.onsecondthought" target="_blank">download it</a> from Google Play. Written by Marissa LaLiberte. This article first appeared in <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/true-stories-lifestyle/science-technology/yes-you-can-unsend-text-and-heres-how" target="_blank">Reader’s Digest</a>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, <a rel="noopener" href="http://readersdigest.innovations.co.nz/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=articles&utm_campaign=RDSUB&keycode=WRN93V" target="_blank">here’s our best subscription offer</a>.

Technology

New study discovers sleep texting is a reality for users

Sleeping is a time for your body to rest, repair and reprogram itself before the next day. Although for some people it can also be a time to eat, talk, walk and – a new study has discovered – text. The research was published in the <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/07448481.2018.1499655?journalCode=vach20&">Journal of American College Health</a>, where 372 students were surveyed at two separate universities in 2013 on their quality of sleep and mobile phone usage as they slept. Researchers asked questions such as “how many hours do you sleep a night?” and “where do you keep your phone?” amongst other things. The results were astounding. More than 25 per cent of people surveyed revealed they texted in their sleep. 72 per cent of those sleep texters had no recollection of having sent the text until they looked at their phone the next day. The people who reported sleep texting were more inclined to say they experienced interrupted sleep and said they kept their phone in bed with them at night. The survey also included an open-ended question where the students could discuss how they coped with sleep texting. One student reported she went to the extreme length of wearing mittens to bed to prevent herself from texting as “moving the phone from being in my bed to next to the bed is not an option, I have to keep my phone with me.” The sleep texters revealed that the quality of their texts are not entirely comprehensible and are often just a bunch of random words with no meaning. The lead author of the study, Elizabeth Dowdell, began the research after several of her undergraduate students spoke about their sleep texting habits. Most of the students who sleep text are female and most check their phones first thing in the morning to see if they had texted in their sleep. “The majority were unwilling to turn off their phone at night,” Dowdell revealed. What is the cause of this strange new sleeping habit? Board-certified sleep medicine researcher and neurologist W. Christopher Winter, MD, of <a href="http://www.cvilleneuroandsleep.com/">Charlottesville Neurology and Sleep Medicine</a> as well as author of the book The Sleep Solution: Why Your Sleep is Broken and How To Fix It, provided insight into the situation during an interview for <a href="https://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/new-study-claims-sleep-texting-actually-thing-203042694.html">Yahoo Lifestyle</a>. “A small percentage of these people probably have a parasomnia, which is an abnormal wakening during deep sleep. But instead of walking or eating things they don’t remember, they’re texting.” Another explanation included the delayed formation of memories once awoken from a deep sleep, “we can have automatic behaviour,” explained Winter, “that’s why you can have a conversation with your partner in the middle of the night, not remember the first part, and wake up when you’re already into the conversation.” Drinking alcohol can also influence the likelihood of sleep texting, Winter adding, “alcohol can absolutely influence both behaviours and having that sort of amnesia for what you’re doing.” How to prevent sleep texting Winter recommended not sleeping with your mobile in your bed and instead keeping it “really out of your proximity.” If you are someone who likes to keep your phone in your room, Winter suggested placing it across the room where you sleep so if you want to answer a text in the middle of the night your body is forced to go through multiple movements that should wake you up. Winter also recommended keeping your phone on silent so it doesn’t wake you with noise, and even getting a phone lock that requires solving a math problem or replicating a pattern which will be hard to accomplish while asleep. “Who controls technology? We control it. We’re the ones who turn it on and we’re the ones who turn it off,” reinforced Dowdell. “If you can’t turn it off, consider putting some boundaries around it like sleep mode or program it so that only certain people can text through at night. Also, don’t sleep with your phone in bed."

Technology

Why this beautiful text message a soon-to-be husband sent his ex-girlfriend has gone viral

A text message sent from a soon-to-be husband to his ex-girlfriend a day before his wedding has gained worldwide attention, but for all the right reasons. Most messages sent from exes are usually a drunk slip up, but this time it’s different, as the groom chose to issue a sincere and sweet thank you, sent with his fiancée’s permission, for teaching him how to love. Taking to Twitter on Saturday, Alexsa Sanchez Aguilar shared the message she received from her ex-boyfriend and it didn’t take long for the exchange to go viral. People have responded by admiring the man’s emotional maturity, but there are others who are doubting his motives. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet tw-align-center" data-lang="en-gb"> i- i’m speechless <a href="https://t.co/i2EAiER60z">pic.twitter.com/i2EAiER60z</a> — 𝙻𝚎𝚡 ♡ (@_xolexc) <a href="https://twitter.com/_xolexc/status/1152442724705918976?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">20 July 2019</a></blockquote> The message starts off by letting her know that his fiancée is aware of the text, and that, “I’m getting married tomorrow. I wanted to send you this message.” He then thanked Aguilar for helping him during his journey through depression and for keeping him out of trouble. He wrote: “I know we were only kids when we dated but you taught me what love is.” “My point in all of this is, you are the reason why I know how to love someone. You taught me love, you taught me how to deal with my anger, how to deal with my depression and how to live life to the fullest and I’m grateful for you. I wish you love and happiness,” he said. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet tw-align-center" data-lang="en-gb"> This has to be the most beautiful thing Ive read. Shout out to both of y'all for being such damn good people. — Nickolas Rey Tamez (@nickolas_rey) <a href="https://twitter.com/nickolas_rey/status/1152597271936229378?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">20 July 2019</a></blockquote> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet tw-align-center" data-lang="en-gb"> m a t u r i t y <a href="https://t.co/hwI5MgLRqe">pic.twitter.com/hwI5MgLRqe</a> — jossy 💛 (@josselynxoo) <a href="https://twitter.com/josselynxoo/status/1152642328621830144?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">20 July 2019</a></blockquote> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet tw-align-center" data-lang="en-gb"> Everyone comes into your life for a reason and each relationship you’re in, good/bad, should help teach and mold you to be a “perfect” partner for your future mate. I think this was sweet and I’m sure well deserved. Cheers to being adults and expressing emotions healthily. 💕 — Sasha Feliciano (@sashmophoto) <a href="https://twitter.com/sashmophoto/status/1152711795666313216?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">20 July 2019</a></blockquote> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet tw-align-center" data-lang="en-gb"> Idk man if I was the new girl I’d be a little weirded out that you wanted to send a paragraph to ur ex girlfriend & express your feelings.. in my opinion, that’s weird. — bratty at it’s finest (@masonrain_) <a href="https://twitter.com/masonrain_/status/1152596074625978368?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">20 July 2019</a></blockquote> And thankfully Aguilar didn’t leave people hanging and shared her response to the message in a separate tweet. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet tw-align-center" data-lang="en-gb"> for everyone asking me what i replied to, this is what i replied. i was literally speechless an didn’t know what to say but that’s what i said . <a href="https://t.co/Zwkh0iAr2i">pic.twitter.com/Zwkh0iAr2i</a> — 𝙻𝚎𝚡 ♡ (@_xolexc) <a href="https://twitter.com/_xolexc/status/1153091666242199552?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">21 July 2019</a></blockquote> "First [off], congratulations on all your beautiful blessings that are coming your way," she began. "[I] am so unbelievably proud of you, you did everything you put your mind into... [I'm] happy you found the woman you want forever with... [Your] fiancé is such a beautiful soul, and you have such a beautiful daughter... [I] wish you and your beautiful family nothing but beautiful blessings." Speaking to <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.buzzfeed.com/" target="_blank">Buzzfeed</a>, Aguilar explained that there is no animosity between her and her ex who she says is a great man. Sometimes relationships don’t work out, but the two helped each other through a tough time when they were young, and she will forever appreciate the bond they shared. "We lost a best friend to suicide, and we helped each other heal," Aguilar said. "I feel like no matter what happens, he and I will forever have respect towards each other."

Relationships

Heads up! City bans pedestrians from texting while crossing the street

A new state law in New York would slap stiff fines on pedestrians who text and email on their phones while crossing the street. “There will be a green light and people will still be texting in the middle of the street,” cabbie Carlos Rodriguez complained to <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/">The Post</a> while waiting near New York’s Penn Station. “I stop so I don’t hit the person, then I get a $US110 ($NZD 166) ticket for stopping at a green light. I’m sick of it!” The new law is looking to impose fines of $US25 ($NZD 37) to $US50 ($NZD 75) on first-time offenders, while death-wish texters who stride right back into the pedestrian crossing and repeat the offence within 18 months would be hit with fines as high as $US250 ($NZD 378). However, backlash is already in the works as pedestrians believe that texting in traffic is their right. “What a dumb proposal,” scoffed Chris Werner, 36, who barely looked up from his phone as he crossed West 32nd Street. “I’m still going to text while crossing.” Alejandro Cerda, 29, agreed as he texted his way across Seventh Avenue at 27th Street. “Can we vote these politicians out of office since they’re brain dead?” said the Lower East Side resident.

Technology

Michelle Obama shares "one of the best texts" she has ever received

Michelle Obama has revealed the touching message she received from her older brother in response to her memoir. The former First Lady is currently on tour to promote her book Becoming, which is on course to becoming the world’s most popular autobiography with more than 10 million copies sold, according to its publisher Bertelsmann. During the European leg of her book tour, the 55-year-old received a text from her brother, basketball coach Craig Robinson. “My brother just sent me one of the best texts I’ve ever received,” Obama wrote on Instagram alongside a screenshot of the text. Robinson’s message to her read: “As I sit listening to the words of your book for the third time albeit this time by audiobook, it occurred to me that I haven’t thanked you for all your memories. “Since I'm the one who is supposed to remember everything, I realized I have blocked out everything regarding dad's death. I was here crying and laughing at the sadness of the story and the comfort of your voice.” <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BwPq5iKh2nw/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BwPq5iKh2nw/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Michelle Obama (@michelleobama)</a> on Apr 14, 2019 at 10:46am PDT </div> </blockquote> In her book, Obama wrote extensively about her father Fraser Robinson III, who struggled with multiple sclerosis for years and died in 1991 at the age of 55. Her brother signed off the message by thanking her for sharing her experience. “All I can think of is how much I love my little sister. Thank you,” Craig wrote. In the post, Obama explained how much her father meant to the two of them. “The laughs and lessons, the hugs, the heartache from losing him – they’re all still there with me, every minute,” she admitted. She also highlighted that sharing personal stories can help loved ones connect, even when they are “an ocean away”, just like her brother Robinson. “Love you, big brother,” Obama signed off. <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BwFHzRBBqFs/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BwFHzRBBqFs/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Michelle Obama (@michelleobama)</a> on Apr 10, 2019 at 8:27am PDT </div> </blockquote> Obama also shared in Becoming about her closeness with Craig. “You have been my protector since the day I was born,” she wrote to her brother in the memoir. "You have made me laugh more than any other person on this earth. You are the best brother a sister could ask for, a loving and caring son, husband, and father.” Have you read Michelle Obama's autobiography Becoming? Let us know in the comments below.

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Phone etiquette: Why we need to stop expecting instant text message replies

Your phone chimes, it’s a message from your partner. You reply instantly because that’s what you always do. Then you decide to add another message: “By the way, I love you ☺” You see the “read” status appear under the message, and you wait for her reply. An hour later you are still waiting, still checking. Has this ever happened to you? For most of us, there is an unwritten social contract that underlies our online messaging interactions. The clearest part of that contract is that certain types of messages demand a timely response. In our world of instant communications, it seems we have come to expect that the general immediacy and access to information afforded to us by our technology, should be reflected in our online social communication, just as it would be when face-to-face. But norms that exist in the real world don’t necessarily transfer easily to the digital realm. Is it time we developed a new social contract for online communications? Stoking the fires of social anxiety When the social contract is broken or even bent a little, it can introduce a hierarchy of discomfort into the communication process, often including anxiety and introspective rumination over the reasons for the non-reply. These types of emotions may be felt much more powerfully when we believe the person on the other end has actually read our message but has chosen to ignore us. In these cases, our discomfort may rise with the passing of time. The rising anxiety may escalate to the point where we bombard the non-replier with yet more messages to try to elicit a response. Of course, responses such as these can vary from person to person, and culture to culture. It has been <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2013.12.024">suggested</a> some people who are highly emotionally reactive and use text messaging excessively may actually feel rejected, isolated and suffer deep anxiety when replies to their messages are not immediate. Read receipts make things worse It’s worth considering that the technology platform we use to conduct our messaging activities, may contribute to our expectations of an immediate reply. Virtually every online messaging platform has a way of informing us when our message has been delivered to, and read by, the recipient. WhatsApp has two blue ticks, one for successful delivery and one for when the message has been read. Facebook messenger shows the recipient’s profile picture beside the message, and so on. If we know the person well, we may even know they have message receipt notifications set to appear on their device. These notifications do not specifically trigger the read-receipt for our message, but we know it’s likely the recipient has at least seen our message. Combine all this with the ability to see when someone was last active online, and you have the perfect reply-status nightmare, if you are someone who cares. The fear of being ghosted It’s easy to understand how read-receipt anxiety has evolved. Just imagine the offline equivalent – you say something to someone, you know they have heard you, but they deliberately ignore you. When face to face, we would almost always make further enquiries to get our response and we’d be confused, or angry if it was not forthcoming. It’s really not very surprising, given the very high volume of online messaging we now engage in, that people expect the same communication etiquette when using messaging platforms. When non-reply behaviour is taken to an extreme, it may be analogous to a phenomenon known as <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201511/is-why-ghosting-hurts-so-much">ghosting</a>. Ghosting involves indulging in behaviours such as not returning text messages, emails, phone calls or any related electronic communications. It can occur within any type of close relationship but is more often associated with intimate ones. People often use ghosting as way of breaking off a relationship without any apparent justification. Most of us would agree that a non-reply to an online message of love to an intimate other elicits a very strong emotional response, one that has very little to do with the length of the relationship in question. Evolving norms for new technologies In any intimate relationship, a non-reply may make us feel humiliated, rejected isolated and embarrassed. Over time our anxiety will increase until we hear that return chime – hopefully they love us too, along with an apology for the delay, and all emotions can return quickly to normal levels. Some people may actually use non-reply behaviour to manage their relationship dynamics, and torture their friends and loved ones. Of course no one reading this would ever have engaged in such Machiavellian behaviour! Perhaps we need a new type of online communication social contract, and let’s set these expectations at the beginning of a relationship, or any friendship. For example, on Tinder, profiles should perhaps have a box to tick to specify whether immediate replies are optional. Thanks to read-receipts and their associated emotional impact, relationship communication really has never been more complex and perplexing.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/101110/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> Written by David Cowan, Lecturer, The University of Queensland. Republished with permission of <a href="https://theconversation.com/message-sent-received-but-no-instant-reply-how-does-that-make-you-feel-101110">The Conversation</a>.

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Phone etiquette: Why we need to stop expecting instant text message replies