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I spoke to 100 Japanese seniors, and learnt the secret to a good retirement is a good working life

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/shiori-shakuto-1537774">Shiori Shakuto</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p>What makes a good retirement? I’ve <a href="https://www.pennpress.org/9781512827088/after-work/">been researching</a> the lives of “silver backpackers”: Japanese seniors who embark on a later-life journey of self-discovery.</p> <p>Many experienced Japan’s high-growth economy, characterised by rigid gender roles. For many men who worked as iconic cultural figures of <em><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salaryman">sarariiman</a></em> (white collar workers), excessive working hours were normalised and expected. Their absence from home was compensated by their female partners, many full-time stay-at-home mothers.</p> <p>Entering their 60s meant either retirement from work, or children leaving home. For men and women, retirement is understood as an opportunity to live a life for themselves, leading to a journey of self-discovery.</p> <h2>Dedicating life to work</h2> <p>I interviewed more than 100 older Japanese women and men and found a significant disparity in the quality of life between them.</p> <p>Japanese retired men who led a work-oriented life struggled to find meaning at the initial stages of retirement.</p> <p>One man I spoke to retired at the age of 60 from a large trading company. He was a successful businessman, having travelled the world and held various managerial positions in the company. His wife looked after the children most of the time.</p> <p>They bought a house with a yard in a suburb so the children could attend a good school. It significantly increased his commute, and further reduced his time with children. He also worked on weekends. He barely had time to develop his hobbies or get to know his neighbours.</p> <p>He idealised his retirement as a time to finally spend with his family and develop his own hobbies. When he retired, however, he realised that he and his family didn’t have any common topics of conversation.</p> <p>Through decades of excessive hours spent at work away from home, the rest of the family established a routine that did not include him. Taking up new hobbies at the age of 60 was not as easy as he thought, nor was making new friends at this age.</p> <p>“I became a <em>nureochiba</em>,” he lamented. <em>Nureochiba</em> refers to the wet fallen leaves that linger and are difficult to get rid of. The term is commonly used to describe retired men with no friends or hobbies who constantly accompany their wives.</p> <p>The retirement for many former <em>sarariiman</em> was characterised by boredom – having nowhere to go to or having nothing to do. The sense of boredom led to a sense of isolation and low confidence in old age. Many older Japanese men I spoke to lament not having built a connection with their children or communities at a younger age.</p> <h2>Dedicating life to family and community</h2> <p>Older Japanese women I spoke with were more well-connected with their children and local communities in later life. Many were in regular contact with their children through visits, phone calls and messages. Some continued to care for them by providing food or by looking after grandchildren. Children very much appreciated them.</p> <p>Many older women who had been full-time stay-at-home mothers had already taken up hobbies or volunteering activities at community organisations, and they could accelerate these involvements in their old age.</p> <p>Even women who worked full-time seemed to maintain better connections with their family members because working excessively away from home was simply not possible for them.</p> <p>Older men relied on these women’s networks and activities conducted at the scales of home and communities – from caring for others to pursuing hobbies – to enact a meaningful retirement. The sense of connection with family and communities, not to mention their husbands’ reliance on them, led to a high confidence and wellbeing among older women.</p> <p>I saw many instances where older women preferred spending time with their female friends than their retired husbands and embarked on adventurous trips alone. One woman went on a three-month cruise alone. Feeling liberated, she sent a fax message to her husband from the ship: “When I get off this ship, I will devote the rest of my life to myself. You will have to take care of your own mother.”</p> <p>Upon disembarking, she moved to Malaysia to start her second life.</p> <h2>The silver backpackers</h2> <p>Malaysia has become a popular destination for silver backpackers looking to embark on a journey of self-discovery. Some travel as couples, while others go alone, regardless of their marital status.</p> <p>For many male silver backpackers I spoke to, moving to Malaysia offers a second chance at life to make new friends, find hobbies and, most importantly, start anew with their partners.</p> <p>For many female silver backpackers, visiting Malaysia means being able to enjoy an independent lifestyle while having the security of friends and family in Malaysia and Japan.</p> <p>The experiences of older Japanese men and women can be translated into the experiences of anyone who spent excessive hours at work and those who spent more time cultivating relationships outside of work. The activities of the latter group are not as valued in a society that narrowly defines productivity. However, my research shows that it is their activities that carry more value in old age.</p> <p>Are you under pressure to work long hours? If you can, turn off your phone and computer. Instead of organising events for work, organise a dinner with your family and friends. Take up a new hobby in your local community centres. You can change how you work and live now for a better old age.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/238571/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/shiori-shakuto-1537774"><em>Shiori Shakuto</em></a><em>, Lecturer in Anthropology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/i-spoke-to-100-japanese-seniors-and-learnt-the-secret-to-a-good-retirement-is-a-good-working-life-238571">original article</a>.</em></p>

Retirement Life

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Five signs in your senior pet you shouldn’t ignore

<p dir="ltr">Just like humans, pets can become susceptible to health complications as they age. </p> <p dir="ltr">Cats are considered senior at around 11 years, and many dogs are considered senior from about seven years old, depending on their breed. </p> <p dir="ltr">As your furry friends get older, it's important to look out for these five changes in your pet, because if caught early, addressing them promptly may significantly improve their well-being, lifespan and quality of life. </p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Dramatic weight changes</strong></p> <p dir="ltr">If your pet either loses or gains weight dramatically, it’s time to book an appointment at the vets. </p> <p dir="ltr">Significant weight changes can signal issues such as heart disease, diabetes, liver disease, or alterations in metabolism and muscle tone, which are sometimes associated with ageing.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Increased thirst</strong></p> <p dir="ltr">An increase in thirst, and in turn an increase in urination, could be the sign of several health conditions such as kidney disease or diabetes. </p> <p dir="ltr">Addressing these symptoms early can help manage the condition and drastically improve your pet's quality of life.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Changes in appetite</strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Several health problems in pets can manifest in a change of appetite, whether it's a decrease or increase in hunger. </p> <p dir="ltr">Changes in appetite might be due to dental issues, gastrointestinal problems, diabetes or more severe conditions like cancer. </p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Signs of chronic pain</strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Chronic pain can present in pets in many different ways, such as Repeated chewing, biting, or scratching at a specific area, altered activity levels, reluctance to move or jump, or poor response to medications.</p> <p dir="ltr">If your furry friend looks like they are struggling to move, or are slower when getting up and down, it's time to schedule a trip to the vet.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Changes in demeanour </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">As pets age, they can experience similar symptoms to humans, such as changes in vision, hearing and general confusion. </p> <p dir="ltr">Some pets can even experience dementia, with symptoms including anxiety, aimless wandering, decreased appetite, and notable shifts in behaviour. </p> <p dir="ltr">Although there is no cure, management is possible through medication, dietary adjustments, and lifestyle changes and available under veterinary guidance.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Readers response: What advice would you give to seniors looking to start a new relationship?

<p>When entering the dating world, there are always nerves, expectations and excitement at any age.</p> <p>But when it comes to dating and starting new relationships in your senior years, priorities can be skewed, and meeting someone can be nerve-wracking. </p> <p>We asked our readers what advice they would you give to seniors looking to start a new relationship, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Judy Chappell</strong> - Don’t! Nothing better than independence &amp; freedom late in life after 63 years married. I have my kids, grandkids, great grandies &amp; great friends that’s enough for me. Don’t need another male around.</p> <p><strong>Jan Heggie</strong> - If it feels right, do it. If it doesn’t feel right after a while, leave. Life is too short to not enjoy it.</p> <p><strong>Karen Simpson Nikakis</strong> - Put legals in place to protect your assets, do not cohabit or marry, and split all bills. </p> <p><strong>Lois Hone </strong>- Be true to yourself. Choose someone who completes you, the one person you feel you can’t live without. The one person, who makes you smile, laugh and is still there when you are sad and hurt and wants to support you. Oh and if they like to cook and clean as well, go for it!</p> <p><strong>Julie Fause</strong>r - Live each in your own home.</p> <p><strong>Marilyn Langelaar </strong>- Do not compare to previous partner.</p> <p><strong>Janet Olsson</strong> - Be careful. Don't rush into anything.</p> <p><strong>Lynn Dilley</strong> - Just go for it if you are happy and feel safe, but keep your money and documents to yourself.</p> <p><strong>Merle Finlayson</strong> - Go for it! It’s never too late.</p> <p><strong>Margot R McCamley </strong>- Enjoy the relationship, but there are always buts so tread carefully. Think it through thoroughly, but don't dismiss it as folly.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

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Readers response: What are your thoughts on online dating or dating apps for seniors?

<p>When it comes to dating, there are many ways people find their perfect person, and for many that happens online. </p> <p>We asked our readers what their thoughts are on an online dating app for seniors, and the responses were overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Kristeen Bon</strong> - I tried it for a bit, but found the men to be so unrealistic in their expectations. What they say they want and what they REALLY want are poles apart.</p> <p><strong>Helen Smith</strong> - It works great but men really need to look in a mirror now and then.</p> <p><strong>Sue Rowley</strong> - Personally, I’m happy on my own, but if you’re looking for a partner where else is there to meet someone? Pub, supermarket, dog walking? Not many options really, especially when you’re older.</p> <p><strong>Jenny Gordon</strong> - Would not consider it. Would prefer to stay single than see how friends and relatives have been affected by using them.</p> <p><strong>Ali Veldman</strong> - Risky at any age, in my opinion.</p> <p><strong>Diane Derby</strong> - I’d never entertain one. I like being by myself, plus two much catfishing and ghosting to be able to find a decent type.</p> <p><strong>Margaret Godfrey</strong> - Tried it. A dismal failure in a small population. What is the point of men interstate responding when you live a plane flight away?</p> <p><strong>John Coffey</strong> - Met my late partner online, and had a great 10 years. It can be a minefield though.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Relationships

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10 ways to cruise as a senior

<p>Just because you’re older, that doesn’t mean you can’t experience all that a cruising holiday has to offer. Follow our simple tips for a fun filled holiday on the water.</p> <p><strong>1. Choose the right ship</strong></p> <p>Cruise ships today carry anywhere from six to 6,000 people. The larger megaliners tend to be geared towards families with plenty of crazy rides and high-energy activities. They’ll also probably be crowded with kids. Smaller boutique ships operate at a slower pace and are generally stocked with an older crowd. Do your research and find one to suit you.</p> <p><strong>2. And the right cabin</strong></p> <p>Do you need an accessible cabin? Do you want to reduce walking with a cabin close to the elevators? Is it important for you to have some outside space of your own? These are all important questions that you’ll need to answer when you book. The right cabin can make or break a cruise.</p> <p><strong>3. Pick an appropriate itinerary</strong></p> <p>You’ll need to decide if you want to visit new places every day or spend more time onboard the ship. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. Port heavy itineraries, where you’re stopping at a new destination every day, can be tiring. On the other hand, you might get bored with too many days at sea.  Think realistically about your needs and make the right choice for you.</p> <p><strong>4. Research your dates</strong></p> <p>One of the best things about being a senior traveller is that you are (generally) no longer bound by things like school holidays. By avoiding these times you’ll not only save money, you won’t be on a ship with an unusually high proportion of children. When cruising in the Caribbean, you’ll also need to keep in mind the US college holidays so you’re not trapped with a bunch of boozy spring breakers.</p> <p><strong>5. Allow extra time</strong></p> <p>It’s a sad fact of ageing that you’re not as quick on your feet as you used to be. That means you’ll need to factor in extra time for just about everything. Ships can be huge, so you don’t want to be rushing to make a dinner reservation or spa appointment. This applies on shore too. If you’re really late, the ship will leave without you so don’t cut it too fine.</p> <p><strong>6. Choose the right shore excursions</strong></p> <p>Before you book, have a chat with the shore excursions team and get a good idea of the physical requirements. What they consider minimal walking might not be the same as what you consider minimal walking. These tours aren’t cheap, so you want to be sure that you can enjoy everything it involves.</p> <p><strong>7. Look at onboard activities</strong></p> <p>You might not want to get off at every port (which can be exhausting) but still want to be entertained onboard. And adventurous activities like skydiving simulators and giant waterslides may not be your thing any more. Many cruise lines offer fantastic enrichment programs onboard where you can listen to world-class lecturers, learn new skills or watch performances from the likes of the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts or the Lincoln Centre.</p> <p><strong>8. Give yourself time to relax</strong></p> <p>You’re on holiday! If you want to spend a day in bed, watching movies and ordering room service then do exactly that. Don’t feel any pressure to be up and about every day.</p> <p><strong>9. Travel with the right companions</strong></p> <p>Solo, couple, friends or family, there’s a cruise for every group. Cruising is hugely popular with multi-generational groups as there something for everyone to do, but it might not make for the most relaxing holiday. If you’re a solo traveller, you can book a single cabin all to yourself or find a room mate with any number of matching services. Just think carefully – because once you’re onboard with your travel buddy, there’s no getting off.</p> <p><strong>10. Think about medical care</strong></p> <p>Be realistic about any medical needs you may have. Most ships have a decent medical centre, but if you are spending multiple days at sea or cruising to very remote destinations and something happens it might not be enough to help you. If you are concerned, choose cruises that stay close to shore or visit developed countries where you can get proper treatment quickly.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Cruising

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"Am I being too sensitive?": Woman's dilemma after partner forgets 60th birthday

<p>A woman has shared her dilemma on how to approach her partner of 30 years, after he forgot her 60th birthday. </p> <p>"It's my 60th birthday today, and my partner of 30 years has not acknowledged it. Should I tell him?" she titled her post on Reddit. </p> <p>"It's my actual birthday today, and whilst we have planned a big party for next weekend, when I woke up this morning I expected a 'Happy Birthday!' and a smile," she continued. </p> <p>"I didn't get anything. He started my coffee but he does that almost every morning.</p> <p>"At first I thought maybe he forgot but now I am thinking that he thinks he doesn't have to say anything because we are having a big party this weekend. </p> <p>"Am I being too sensitive? Should I tell him? If so, how?" she asked in her post. </p> <p>Hundreds of Reddit users took to the comments to share their thoughts on how to approach the situation, with a few sharing crafty solutions of their own. </p> <p>"I'd make a joke of it. 'I can't believe they moved my birthday!' Or 'I saw on the TV we should ask easy questions to check for dementia- I'll ask you first, when's my birthday?'" one user playfully suggested. </p> <p>"I'm going to say the absolute minimum I'd expect for ANY birthday is my wife wishing me a Happy Birthday. Don't let it fester and ruin your day - just ask him about it" another added. </p> <p>One user saw the bright side of things and said:  "He's handed you the best birthday present of all - the opportunity to use this against him for the next twenty years.</p> <p>"I'd be rubbing my hands with glee. Happy Birthday!" </p> <p>"Happy Birthday. Go out and buy a large cake. Eat it all yourself. Nobody need ever know" to which she responded: "there is a Costco not that far away. Go big or go home." </p> <p>Another Redditor came up with an elaborate plan on how she could get her partner's attention. </p> <p>"Purchase this 'Acknowledge Me' t-shirt of WWE wrestle Roman Reigns. Then write 'Birthday' on a piece of card and use some tape to stick on the t-shirt. 'Acknowledge Me Birthday.' Then just wear it around the house," they said. </p> <p>The woman was onboard with the plan, but luckily she didn't need to apply any of their crafty solutions and shared an update. </p> <p>"He just came up to my home office and gave me a big hug, admitting he had forgotten because he was so focussed on both work and next weekend's party," she wrote. </p> <p>"He apologised sheepishly, which was exactly the best outcome possible. Now I have both my birthday acknowledged as well as a fine story and/or bit of ammo to be saved for another day.</p> <p>"So there you go. I've cancelled the 'acknowledge me' t-shirt order, and shall now share my Costco cake with him instead of eating it from across the table, glaring.</p> <p>"Thank you everyone for the very fine passive aggressive suggestions which made me smile. Much appreciated!"</p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p> <p> </p>

Relationships

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Senior changes will to leave fortune to pets instead of family

<p>An elderly woman in China has decided to leave her $A4.3 million fortune to her pets instead of her three children, after she claims they never visited or took care of her when she was sick. </p> <p>The Shanghai woman, known by her last name Liu, drafted the will a few years ago according to the <a href="https://www.scmp.com/news/people-culture/trending-china/article/3248592/elderly-china-woman-leaves-us28-million-assets-beloved-pets-instead-children-who-never-visited-even" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>South China Morning Post</em></a>. </p> <p>However, as her three children rarely contacted her, and left her on her own while she was sick, Liu decided her cats and dogs were more deserving of her multi-million dollar fortune, and changed her will. </p> <p>Chen Kai, an official from the China’s Will Registration Centre headquarters, told her that leaving her entire inheritance to animals is illegal in China, but there is a way for her to ensure her pets get taken care of. </p> <p>“Liu’s current will is one way, and we would have advised her to appoint a person she trusts to supervise the vet clinic to ensure the pets are properly cared for,” he told the <em>South China Morning Post</em>. </p> <p>Another official added that Liu could always change her mind, if her children changed their attitude. </p> <p>“We told Auntie Liu that if her children change their attitude towards her, she could always alter her will again,” the official said. </p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p> <p> </p>

Family & Pets

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Two senior royals undergo surgery

<p>King Charles and Kate Middleton have postponed their public duties following news that they are both being admitted to hospital for surgery. </p> <p>The news of both procedures were announced within hours of each other, with the Princess of Wales first announcing that had been admitted into hospital for a planned surgery. </p> <p>“Her Royal Highness The Princess of Wales was admitted to The London Clinic yesterday for planned abdominal surgery,” the statement from Kensington Palace read. </p> <p>The surgery was successful and the princess is expected to remain in hospital for 10 to 14 days before returning home to recover. </p> <p>No other details regarding the surgery were given, but a palace spokesmen has revealed that the condition was non-cancerous. </p> <p>“The Princess of Wales appreciates the interest this statement will generate,” the statement added. </p> <p>“She hopes that the public will understand her desire to maintain as much normality for her children as possible; and her wish that her personal medical information remains private.” </p> <p>The palace added that they will “only provide updates on Her Royal Highness’ progress when there is significant new information to share.”</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/C2NDoYrN-9r/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C2NDoYrN-9r/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by The Prince and Princess of Wales (@princeandprincessofwales)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Based on the medical advice, the royal will be out of public duty until after easter, which falls on the 31st of March. </p> <p>They also added that Prince William will also postpone several engagements while his wife is recovering. </p> <p>Less than two hours after the shock announcement, Buckingham Palace revealed that King Charles will also head to hospital next week for a “corrective procedure” on an enlarged prostate. </p> <p>“His Majesty’s condition is benign and he will attend hospital next week for a corrective procedure," the statement read. </p> <p>“The King’s public engagements will be postponed for a short period of recuperation.”</p> <p>Benign prostate enlargement is not a sign of a cancer or a risk of cancer occurring, with one in three men over the age of 50 having symptoms of an enlarged prostate. </p> <p>While few details of Kate's condition were made public, His Royal Highness was keen to share information and encourage other men experiencing symptoms to get their conditions checked. </p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p> <p> </p>

Caring

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Why these dog breeds are ideal for seniors

<p><strong>Reasons why dogs are good for seniors </strong></p> <p>Affectionate, loyal, nurturing: There are lots of reasons why dogs make great companions for seniors. Not only do dogs provide comfort and friendship, but they also help keep seniors healthy and encourage sociability. In fact, a 2019 study found that people who owned dogs were more likely to maintain better heart health and be more active, than those without pets. “Dogs give seniors a reason to get up and move – and walking a dog keeps them fit,” explains veterinarian Dr Anita Kinscher-Juran. Another plus: When you get out of the house for that walk, you have more chances to be social, too, from greeting neighbours on the street to impromptu conversations with fellow dog owners.</p> <p>But adopting a dog is a big decision. Just like with a human companion, you need to understand what you’re looking for in a dog before committing to a long-term living arrangement.</p> <p>Some important points to think about as you search for the best dogs for seniors are energy levels (vets often recommend calm dog breeds for older folks), the size of your home (<a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/pets/13-best-apartment-dogs" target="_blank" rel="noopener">these are the best apartment dogs</a>) and the size of the dog, the breed’s socialness (some breeds, like Pomeranians, make the best emotional support dogs) and a dog’s age and temperament. Health and grooming needs and maintenance requirements (i.e. how often dogs need to be brushed, for instance) are also important considerations. Cocker spaniels, while super cute with their big, long ears, are also known for having frequent ear infections, for instance. And while Havanese, one of the cutest white dog breeds, are very portable, they also require a lot of grooming.</p> <p>The decision to adopt a pet is not one that should be taken lightly. “Bringing a pet into the household is a lifelong decision for that animal,” says Dr Kinscher-Juran. But after thoroughly considering your situation and needs, it’s comforting to know, as Dr Kinscher-Juran says “that there is a dog for everyone and every age.”</p> <p>Here are the top 15 best dogs for seniors.</p> <p><strong>Best overall: Bichon Frise </strong></p> <p>These white powder puffs of a dog are known for their sweet and friendly nature and are perfect for seniors seeking easy companionship – they also make <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/food-home-garden/pets/15-best-dogs-for-first-time-owners" target="_blank" rel="noopener">great pets for first-time dog owners</a>. These low-maintenance pups aren’t difficult to potty train and don’t shed much, which is why they are one of the best dogs for older people, Dr Kinscher-Juran says. (But to keep their snow-white hair looking fluffy, they do require grooming every five or so weeks.)</p> <p>Bichons are gentle and playful and they get along well with other pets and children, so you don’t need to put them in another room if the grandkids stop by! At an average of 5 to 8 kilograms, they are also super portable. Not to mention smart. “One of my favourite bichons knew how to give a kiss in three different languages, one of which was Portuguese,” says Dr Kinscher-Juran.</p> <p>Like the best toy dogs, they are perfectly content to sit on your lap for hours every morning, as you read the paper or watch the news. Bichon Frise’s don’t require long, five kilometre hikes to keep them happy, rather they’re fine with 20- to 30-minute leisurely strolls. What they crave most is attention, something seniors often have time to give.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Breed Overview</em></span></p> <p>Height: 24 to 30 cms  </p> <p>Weight: 5 to 8 kgs</p> <p>Life expectancy: 14 to 15 years</p> <p><strong>Best lap dog: Cavalier King Charles spaniel</strong></p> <p>If you are looking for one of the best dogs for older people, cavalier King Charles spaniels should be high on your list. It’s easy to fall in love with their big eyes and long ears. And Cavalier King Charles spaniels, in turn, like nothing more than to kiss and cuddle with their owners. Cavalier King Charles spaniels have an eager to please personality, which makes them easier to train.</p> <p>They also only require a moderate amount of exercise, which can be good for less active seniors. Beauty, of course, requires attention. Dr Kinscher-Juran suggests brushing their long luxurious coats once a day, which isn’t hard to do, considering they’re one of the best lap dog breeds!</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Breed Overview</em></span></p> <p>Height: 3.5 to 33 cms</p> <p>Weight: 5.8 to 8 kgs</p> <p>Life expectancy: 12 to 15 years</p> <p><strong>Best apartment dog: Pug</strong></p> <p>If you are looking for one of the best dogs for older people, cavalier King Charles spaniels should be high on your list. It’s easy to fall in love with their big eyes and long ears. And Cavalier King Charles spaniels, in turn, like nothing more than to kiss and cuddle with their owners. Cavalier King Charles spaniels have an eager to please personality, which makes them easier to train.</p> <p>They also only require a moderate amount of exercise, which can be good for less active seniors. Beauty, of course, requires attention. Dr Kinscher-Juran suggests brushing their long luxurious coats once a day, which isn’t hard to do, considering they’re one of the best lap dog breeds!</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Breed Overview</em></span></p> <p>Height: 3.5 to 33 cms</p> <p>Weight: 5.8 to 8 kgs</p> <p>Life expectancy: 12 to 15 years</p> <p><strong>Best small dog: Maltese</strong></p> <p>One of the best small dogs for seniors is the Maltese. These adorable white toy dogs were specifically bred to be companions. Loyal, sweet-natured, calm and adaptable, it’s not hard for a Maltese to quickly become seniors’ best four-legged friend. Though they love following their owners around, all they really need for health is short easy walks. At an average of 2 kilograms, Malteses are also easily transportable (which is a good thing since Malteses don’t like to be left alone too long).</p> <p>Their small size also makes them well suited for apartments or homes with limited space. You can’t mention a Maltese without mentioning their long, silky, white mane, which can be braided or put into a bun. “For the person who wants a living Barbie doll, and loves playing with hair, Malteses are your dog,” Dr. Kinscher-Juran says. But if all that grooming becomes too much, you can have the hair trimmed or shaped down.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Breed Overview</em></span></p> <p>Height: 17 to 22 cms</p> <p>Weight: Under 3 kgs</p> <p>Life expectancy: 12 to 15 years</p> <p><strong>Most social dog: Havanese</strong></p> <p>Sweet, friendly and eager for attention: Havanese make great companions for seniors who find themselves at home more. As a breed, Haveneses don’t like to be alone for very long. (There’s a reason they’re called Velcro dogs). These super social dogs crave affection and get along well with other breeds and strangers.</p> <p>Their high intelligence makes them easier to train and potty train. And at about 5 kgs, they are easy to carry. Walks might take a bit longer with Haveneses because they will want to try to say hi to everyone. But for seniors, looking for sociability, this is not such a bad thing! That’s why Havaneses are one of the best dogs for seniors.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Breed Overview</em></span></p> <p>Height: 22 to 30 cms</p> <p>Weight: 3 to 6 kgs</p> <p>Life expectancy: 14 to 16 years</p> <p><strong>Best house dog: Miniature schnauzers</strong></p> <p>Miniature schnauzers are one of the most adaptable breeds of dogs. Originally bred as a farm dog in Germany, miniature schnauzers are just as content living in an assisted living facility as they are roaming outdoors. Small, sturdy, hypoallergenic and affectionate, miniature schnauzers are great with, say, rambunctious grandchildren.</p> <p>And their calmness – and attunement to the moods of humans – make them excellent therapy animals. Miniature schnauzers both play hard and relax hard. They need a moderate amount of daily exercise but are also good at simply lounging around, while their owners watch TV or make dinner.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Breed Overview</em></span></p> <p>Height: 30.5 to 36 cms</p> <p>Weight: 5 to 9 kgs</p> <p>Life expectancy: 12 to 15 years</p> <p><strong>Best large dog: Greyhound</strong></p> <p>With their lean bodies, flexible spines, and long legs, greyhounds are known for their athletic ability and for being the fastest dog breed. What is not as well-known is that their gentle and sensitive temperament and minimal grooming needs make them one of the best dogs for seniors. Older, retired racing greyhounds are often the best choice for seniors,. “As racing dogs, they often live on a track without much positive human and social interaction,” Dr Kinscher-Juran says. “When they’re adopted, they’re far more appreciative of the loving home you are providing, and don’t seem to take that for granted.”</p> <p>And though they do need daily exercise, greyhounds – perhaps surprisingly! – are renowned for their laziness. Weighing anywhere from 27 to 31.7 kgs, these gentle giants, are content to lounge around the house, accepting pets and back rubs.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Breed Overview</em></span></p> <p>Height: 67 to 76 cms</p> <p>Weight: 27 to 31.7 kgs</p> <p>Life expectancy: 10 to 13 years</p> <p><strong>Best with grandkids: Golden Retrievers</strong></p> <p>Golden retrievers are a large breed with an even larger heart. For seniors looking for gentle dog breeds, golden retrievers are loyal, friendly, intelligent, people-pleasers. They are easy to train, famous for their patience and great with the grandkids. Golden retrievers do require consistent, hard exercise every day, but they are more than content for part of that exercise to consist of finding and retrieving balls in the backyard.</p> <p>Though golden retrievers can weigh up to 34 kgs and more, they still think of themselves as lap dogs. “Golden retrievers are happy to sit with you on the patio at the end of the day, with their head on your lap, watching the sunset,” Dr Kinscher-Juran says.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Breed Overview</em></span></p> <p>Height: 54.5 to 61 cms</p> <p>Weight: 25 to 34 kgs</p> <p>Life expectancy: 10 to 12 years</p> <p><strong>Best hypoallergenic: Toy Poodle</strong></p> <p>For seniors with allergies or respiratory issues, poodles are one of the best hypoallergenic dog breeds. Poodles have a single-layer coat that doesn’t shed (though all that beautiful, naturally curly hair requires a lot of brushing and grooming!).</p> <p>They come in multiple sizes, from tiny teacup poodles, that weigh between 1.8 to 2.7 kgs to small toy poodles that weigh between 2.7 to 4 kgs to miniature poodles that weigh between 6.8 to 7.7 kgs to standard poodles that weigh between 20.4 to 31.75 kgs. Like the best sort of human companion, poodles are known for both their beauty and their brains. Their high intelligence makes them easy to train (helpful for seniors) and their affectionate personality makes them easy to love. The smaller toy poodle is a top choice for seniors.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Breed Overview</em></span></p> <p>Height: 25 cms max</p> <p>Weight: 1.8 to 2.7 kgs</p> <p>Life expectancy: 10 to 18 years</p> <p><strong>Best dog for those who like a clean house: Groodle</strong></p> <p>A cross between poodles and golden retrievers, groodles (or goldendoodles), which weigh between 22.6 to 40 kgs, are known for possessing the best traits of both breeds. They’re loyal, obedient and loving. For seniors with allergies, or those who prefer to avoid daily vacuuming, groodles, who mostly don’t shed and are hypoallergenic, make great companions.</p> <p>You don’t need to have been an experienced pet owner to adopt one: Groodle’s intelligence and easy-going temperament make them easy to train. Groodles do love exercise though, especially swimming. Bonus points if you’re a senior that lives by a body of water!</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Breed Overview</em></span></p> <p>Height: 48 to 61 cms</p> <p>Weight: 13.6 to 20 kgs</p> <p>Life expectancy: 10 to 15 years</p> <p><strong>Best for active seniors: Westies </strong></p> <p>Recognisable by their white mane and dark, almond-shaped eyes, the West Highland white terrier (aka Westie) are friendly, loving companions for active seniors. At 5.8 to 9 kgs, Westies are still small enough to handle and make good apartment dogs – as long as they get in their long, daily walks.</p> <p>Westies really, really like to play. Westies are no softies though: beneath their coat is a well-muscled body. Bred to be rodent killers, Westies require little pampering and they rarely shed. For seniors looking for a little bit of excitement in their days, westies will be sure to keep you on your toes.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Breed Overview</em></span></p> <p>Height: 25.5 to 28 cms</p> <p>Weight: 6.8 to 9 kgs</p> <p>Life expectancy: 13 to 15 years</p> <p><strong>Best dog that doesn't bark: Shih Tzu</strong></p> <p>The name Shih Tzu means little lion, but the most fierce thing about this breed is their love for the owner. Shih Tzus bond very quickly with humans, making them great choices for seniors looking for a close canine companion. Weighing an of average 4 to 7 kgs, Shih Tzus, known for their long coats, pack a lot of personality in their small frame.</p> <p>They are a confident, happy-go-lucky breed with a bit of a stubborn streak. But they are less demanding and less yappy than other smaller toy dogs, making them a good choice for seniors who live in apartments. They are also not very energetic and only need a couple of short walks a day, making them perfect for non-active seniors.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Breed Overview</em></span></p> <p>Height: 23 to 26.5 cms</p> <p>Weight: 4 to 7 kgs</p> <p>Life expectancy: 10 to 18 years</p> <p><strong>Easiest dog to care for: French bulldog</strong></p> <p>With their big eyes, adorable scrunchy faces, and short legs, there’s a reason why French bulldogs are increasing popular today and one of the easiest dog breeds. Their gentle personality and low energy make them one of the best dogs for seniors with a less active lifestyle. These dogs are not big athletes, a walk around the block is all the exercise they need for the day.</p> <p>French bulldogs’ small size (they weigh about 8.5 to 12.5 kgs) and the fact that they are not big barkers or yappers also make them one of the best apartment dogs. As an additional bonus, they are also excellent cuddlers and incredibly loyal.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Breed Overview</em></span></p> <p>Height: 28 to 33 cms</p> <p>Weight: Under 12 kgs</p> <p>Life expectancy: 10 to 12 years</p> <p><strong>Best guard dog: Pomeranian </strong></p> <p>At 1.4 to 3 kgs, Pomeranians look like tiny puffballs. Their small size and affectionate personality make them easy to love. And their ability to remain calm in busy situations also makes them one of the best emotional support dogs, Dr Kinscher-Juran says. Pomeranians – whose hair comes in a variety of colours from white to black to cream – don’t seem to realise their small size.</p> <p>They are very alert, with a tendency to bark, making them excellent guard dogs for seniors. Though Pomeranians are lap dogs, they also have an independent streak, so active seniors don’t need to worry about Pomeranians clinging, like a barnacle, to them all day. Sometimes it’s good to have space!</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Breed Overview</em></span></p> <p>Height: 15 to 17.5 cms</p> <p>Weight: 1.4 to 3 kgs</p> <p>Life expectancy: 12 to 16 years</p> <p><strong>Best dog for seniors with a backyard: Beagle </strong></p> <p>For seniors who love being outdoors and would like an impetus to exercise more, beagles are a good choice. Energetic, active and sociable, beagles love to play and take long walks. And unlike other smaller dogs, they don’t require a ton of babysitting. They’re fine – content even – being left alone for a while. For seniors who don’t love playing beautician, beagles, with their short, dense, wash-and-wear coat, are a good choice.</p> <p>They are pretty low maintenance when it comes to grooming. Younger beagles require consistent exercise – so seniors might find adopting an older beagle a less physically demanding choice, Dr Kinscher-Juran says.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Breed Overview</em></span></p> <p>Height: 33 to 38 cms</p> <p>Weight: 9 to 13.6 kgs</p> <p>Life expectancy: 10 to 15 years</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/food-home-garden/pets/15-best-dogs-for-seniors?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Family & Pets

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The top 11 situations to always haggle for a lower price

<p><strong>Mortgage rates</strong></p> <p>Buying a new home is probably the biggest purchase you will make over the course of your life, so every last penny you can save is worth it. “Borrowers should shop their business around to many banks/lenders to see what rates are available,” says mortgage broker Ade Labinjo. “Then use the rates obtained to pit the banks against each other for the purpose of either matching or driving down the rates they were quoted.” </p> <p>Labinjo says that by getting at least one extra quote rate, the average borrower could save up to $1,500. Never settle for the initial quote rate that the bank offers you – haggle for a better price because chances are, they’re not giving you their absolute best offer upfront.</p> <p><strong>Flea markets, farmers markets, garage sales</strong></p> <p>At flea markets, farmers markets, and garage sales the sellers typically set their own price. If you know how to haggle, this is a great opportunity to get a really good deal. Also, see if buying in bulk or large quantities can get you a price reduction.</p> <p><strong>Hotel rooms</strong></p> <p>Hotels want their rooms filled, so it never hurts to haggle with the people at the front desk for a better price or room upgrades. “Hotels have to pay a commission to booking websites, and pass on some of that as a benefit to the user,” says Saurabh Jindal, founder of Talk Travel. </p> <p>If you find that the price is the same on the booking website and the hotel’s website, ask the hotel for a room with a better view or more amenities. “Hotels have rooms allocated to various booking platforms and may give you a better option which has not yet been sold.”</p> <p><strong>Memberships</strong></p> <p>Memberships always come along with extra fees. It might be a renewal fee, startup fee, or a maintenance fee if it’s your gym membership. Ask if they can waive some of the fees or threaten to cancel and go somewhere else. They want to keep making money off of you and might just give you a discount.</p> <p><strong>Lease renewal </strong></p> <p>If you’re considering re-signing your lease, know that it is most likely more expensive for the landlord to prepare your apartment for a new tenant than to lease to you for another year. If you’ve had a good relationship with your landlord, try to negotiate in a deal before you re-sign. If the landlord is going to increase your rent, ask if you can increase it by less or not at all. If you consistently pay rent on time, are a respectful neighbour, and take good care of your apartment they may keep your rent from increasing.</p> <p>It’s important to remember who your lease is with though, says Julie Ramhold, Consumer Expert at DealNews.com. If your apartment is owned by a management company, they probably won’t offer any wiggle room. But, if you’re renting from a single landlord or owner, try negotiating for a lower price.</p> <p><strong>Online selling platforms </strong></p> <p>People who post items for sale online are typically moving or looking to get rid of unwanted items. Use that to your advantage and ask for a lower price – the worst they can say is no. You could also offer to come and pick it up quickly if they give you a better deal.</p> <p><strong>Internet and phone bill</strong></p> <p>As annoying as your internet and phone provider may be, they don’t want to lose you as a customer. “If you’re signing up or looking to renew, sometimes you can get a lower rate by telling a rep what the competitor is offering and saying it works better with your budget,” says Ramhold. </p> <p>A lot of cable companies give you a promotional price for your first year, make sure to call right before the price goes up for your second year. The competitors will most likely offer better prices for new customers and that can work in your advantage and possibly get you a better deal with your current provider.</p> <p><strong>Insurance rates</strong></p> <p>Just like internet providers, insurance companies don’t want you to switch to a different provider. “Use your customer loyalty to your advantage and try to talk to the right person on the phone,” says Kelan Kline a personal finance expert and co-founder of The Savvy Couple. “Tell them the service you are receiving is not good enough for the price.” They might offer you a discount to keep you.</p> <p><strong>Home services</strong></p> <p>If you’re renovating your kitchen or getting some landscaping done, make sure to shop around and get a few different quotes first. Use those quotes to negotiate with the contractor you want to work with. Also, you may be able to haggle for a better price if you offer to pay upfront in cash or schedule a contractor during the winter months when business is typically slower.</p> <p><strong>Jewellery</strong></p> <p>“You should know that the markup on diamond jewellery is anywhere from 50 to 200 per cent and more,” says Chhavi Agarwal, a personal finance expert. There is always room for haggling. Agarwal suggests politely making a counteroffer. You’d be surprised the changes they are willing to make to the bill. If they refuse to come down in price, try to haggle the labour charges.</p> <p><strong>Returned items </strong></p> <p>Never miss an opportunity to haggle for a better price on items that have been returned to stores. Stores will typically mark returned items that have been slightly used or have a ding with a price reduction, but it doesn’t hurt to ask for more off. They know that items that have already been opened aren’t as appealing to customers and they want to get them sold.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 20px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 26px;"><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/food-home-garden/money/11-times-you-should-always-haggle-for-a-better-price?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Money & Banking

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Fun ways to boost memory in seniors

<p dir="ltr">Memory issues can seriously deteriorate the quality of life for seniors. To reverse the typically progressive process of memory loss, many solutions have been put forward. These include creative leisure activities aimed to work on the senior’s brain while providing relaxation.</p> <p dir="ltr">To work on a senior’s memory, it’s optimal to have them work on a project, focusing and seeing the work being done. There are plenty of games and activities available to help memory.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Paint by Numbers</strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Paint by Numbers is a creative art form that involves painting a pre-drawn sketch on a linen canvas with reference numbers. It helps stimulate the intellect and senses. They’re available in colour books as well, you can find them at your local Kmart and select supermarkets.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Diamond painting</strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Diamond painting is a manual activity where the senior creates beautiful pictures using rhinestones to stick onto a self-adhesive canvas. It calls for concentration, reflection, memorisation, and patience from the practitioner, which is beneficial for working on memory.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Scratch painting</strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Scratch painting is a fun activity that involves scratching a picture with a coin or stylus, like a lottery scratch-off. It requires interest and concentration from the individual, who will enjoy the final picture and benefit their memory.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Music therapy</strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Music therapy is used to treat and alleviate disorders, such as relational, behavioural, and communication difficulties. It also has benefits for seniors with memory problems, as it allows them to mobilise concentration, emotions, and memory in a playful way.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-70e6c7d1-7fff-2c54-f0e3-9408829a216a"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credit: Shutterstock</em></p>

Mind

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These senior dogs are paws-itively perfect

<p>US photographer Amanda Jones has built a remarkable career capturing the bond between people and their furry best friends, and now, she has taken things a step further with her Dog Years Project. </p> <p>The endeavour sees Jones photographing animals at different points in their lives, from puppyhood to their senior years, to illustrate the bond people share with their canine companions. </p> <p>“A dog’s love is timeless,” the official Dog Years Project’s website explains. “The bond we share with our canine companions deepens and matures in their journey from playful pups to wise old friends. </p> <p>“Dog Years Project is a beautiful collection of the lives of 50 dogs. In portraying each dog at both young and old ages, photographer Amanda Jones reveals the unique spark of personality that lasts a lifetime. </p> <p>“This powerful collection of photographs reminds us that life really is better with a dog by your side.”</p> <p>Jones’ first dog, a gorgeous long-haired Dachshund named Lily, served as the inspiration for the entire project. Lily was photographed from the first day she joined Jones’ family, and Jones’ next Dachshund, Benny, was the next to feature in the 10 year project.</p> <p>“It was the passing of this VERY special dachshund [Lily] at the age of 15 that inspired Amanda to look back at previous shoots and compare the young imagery with the older photographs,” a post to Jones’ Instagram explained. “Her young and old is a good one, don’t you think? Of course, we’ve got all the years in between as well. What a dog she was! We miss her around the studio each and every day.”</p> <p>And one commenter summed it up well when they admitted, “this really made me cry. I always loved older dogs even more than I love puppies. They all have strong personalities and look like those people with many stories to tell … To those of you who can enjoy your beloved ones pics in this project, be sure you’re blessed.”</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CbGx3wfOyF1/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CbGx3wfOyF1/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Amanda Jones (@amandajonesinc)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The collection of photos see two side-by-side images of the same dog, with some as young as six months old in the first shot, and some as old as 16 years in the second - at different points in their lives, highlighting the differences while revealing the unique personalities that last them a lifetime.</p> <p>As Jones has put it, she believes “people can relate to the visible ageing process that the images show. I think senior dogs in general stir up strong emotions in people.”</p> <p>Jones’ pictures have been compiled into a book titled <em>Dog Years: Faithful Friends, Then &amp; Now</em>, with Jones noting that while working on the publication, she “rejoined dogs, couples, and families” she had met years prior. </p> <p>“Some dogs had been lost to illness and accidents,” she said. “Most are living amazingly long, happy lives in perfect surroundings.”</p> <p>And perhaps most importantly, as Jones herself explained, “one thing that remains constant is the love people and dogs have for each other.</p> <p>“That does not change, no matter how many dog years go by.”</p> <p><em>Images: @amandajonesinc / Instagram</em></p>

Family & Pets

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The truth about video games in aged care homes

<p>Video games sound like a great way to bring senior community homes together, but are they really?</p> <p>A recent study decided to test this theory, based on past studies that have found positive effects as a result of introducing video games into senior homes.</p> <p>Dr. Kathrin Gerling led the project with Dr Regan Mandryk and Dr Conor Linehan. The study implemented a weekly gaming session in two care facilities over a three-month period of time.</p> <p>The games introduced included motion-based games like those of Nintendo Wii and Xbox 360.</p> <p>According to Dr. Gerling, "We were interested in the potential of games to engage older adults in long-term care in group activities. We looked at how people approached video games, to see if they stuck with it and found it enjoyable, and also to find out if this stimulated group activities and resulted in friendships.”</p> <p>The senior users caught on quickly, as Gerling expanded: “Players at the senior residence quickly understood how the games worked and it became an actual group activity. People formed relationships, took more ownership and adapted games to fit in with how they wanted to play.”</p> <p>Still, the experiment brought forth the reality of difficulties the games presented: “We found it more difficult to bring people together at the care home, mostly because of different age-related impairments. In some cases, players needed a lot of support from staff, and depended on them being able to attend gaming sessions."</p> <p>Gerling proposed that while the games benefited some seniors, others may have found more negative results: "You always have a split of people who like playing video games and those who don't, no matter what age. But older people learning to play new games in public may feel particularly uncomfortable if they are experiencing vulnerability over their age-related changes and impairments. Some older adults require extensive support, both to gain access to gaming sessions and throughout play.”</p> <p>Gerling outlined the necessary means for all community members to receive benefit from playing video games: "We need to make sure that video games created for older adults in long-term care are adaptive – there's a fine line between challenging people and giving them something meaningful to accomplish, as opposed to doing harm. To be successful games need to engage players of all abilities and be tailored towards specific groups. It's really important to be mindful of the context in which games will be played and be understanding of the individual abilities of the player. This is particularly important when evaluating the value of games for improving the quality of life, and when creating games with a purpose beyond entertainment, such as therapy and rehabilitation."</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><a href="../health/wellbeing/2015/08/start-exercising-when-youre-older/">Start exercising at any age</a></em></span></strong></p> <p><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><a href="../health/wellbeing/2015/07/dementia-phone-screening/">Would you consider being screened for dementia over the phone?</a></em></span></strong></p> <p><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><a href="../health/wellbeing/2015/07/top-health-worries-of-60-year-olds/">Top 10 health worries when you’re 60-plus (and how to beat them)</a></em></span></strong></p> <p><em>Image credit: Shutterstock</em></p>

Mind

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Senior bank robber’s unexpectedly polite note

<p>A 78-year-old woman has caused some commotion with her bizarre Missouri bank heist. </p> <p>Bonnie Gooch, who already has two bank robbery convictions to her name, has collected a brand new charge - one count of stealing, or attempting to steal, from a financial institution - for her actions at the Goppert Financial Bank in Pleasant Hill. </p> <p>However, it’s the note that Bonnie had for the bank’s teller that has drawn the most attention around the world, with the senior bank robber allegedly stating that she “didn’t mean to scare” anyone. </p> <p>As <em>The Kansas City Star </em>reported, Bonnie supposedly entered the establishment just after 3pm, ‘disguised’ by her facemask and sunglasses. After approaching the counter, she is said to have handed over a note that demanded “13,000 small bills”, and another that read “thank you sorry I didn’t mean to scare you”.</p> <p>Prosecutors in Cass County said surveillance video from inside of the bank showed Bonnie banging on the counter and demanding that the teller hurry up. </p> <p>Bonnie made her getaway from there, but was ultimately caught by law enforcement officers, who reported that her car smelled of alcohol, and had money spread across its floor. Despite this, she is not facing any alcohol related charges. </p> <p>Pleasant Hill Police Chief Tommy Wright described the incident as “just sad’, and noted that Bonnie - as far as they were aware - had not been diagnosed with any notable ailments.</p> <p>“When officers first approached her, they were kind of confused ... it’s a little old lady who steps out,” he explained. “We weren’t sure initially that we had the right person.”</p> <p>He also noted that in his three decades as a police officer, he had never encountered a robbery suspect of a similar age to Bonnie. </p> <p>But it wasn’t Bonnie’s first rodeo, with Bonnie having been convicted for her actions in California in 1977, and again in another Kansas City suburb in 2020. Her probation for the latter only ended in November 2021. </p> <p>At the time of her 2020 theft, court documents cited by <em>Fox 4 </em>note that Bonnie’s son explained she had left the house “angry” and had declared that she was “going to rob a bank”.</p> <p>She is now being held on a $25,000 USD (~$37,500 AUD) bond at a Cass County detention centre for her 2023 crime. </p> <p>And as Police Chief Tommy Wright also revealed to <em>Fox 4</em>, he and his team were evaluating whether or not Bonnie would require further services as her case progressed through the criminal justice system. </p> <p><em>Images: Facebook</em></p>

Legal

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Couple with the same name share the story of their unique path to love

<p>Married couple Nunzia and Nunzio Varricchio took sharing to the extreme on the day of their births. </p> <p>With matching Christian names, the pair were born with mere hours between them in the same Italian village, with the same midwife overseeing both occasions. </p> <p>As their daughter, Vicki Brunello, explained to<em> 7 News</em>, “[the midwife] happened to be Dad’s grandmother. She delivered my dad, hopped on her bike, and a few hours later she delivered my mum.”</p> <p>Apparently, that same grandmother had joked that she’d found her grandson a girlfriend. And although she hadn’t been (entirely) serious at the time, it turns out she’d been right on the money. </p> <p>Cut to 15 years later, when Nunzio decided that he’d ask his partner-in-name to be his girlfriend - just as his grandmother had predicted. </p> <p>Nunzio believed that it had been “love at first sight”, although it seems that Nunzia didn’t quite share his opinion. Although she did eventually fall for him, it took “a little bit of time” to get to the same point. </p> <p>As she put it, “I didn’t say yes straight away.” </p> <p>Nor did the couple make it official immediately. Nunzio and his family actually moved to Australia in the 1960s, far from the village where the two had grown up. </p> <p>He made the decision to farewell Nunzia before he joined his family overseas, and while he might have been hoping for a sweet moment for the subject of his affections, Nunzia - once again - had other ideas. </p> <p>He had hoped to give her a kiss, even going so far as to tell her as much, but as Nunzia explained, “I said ‘forget about it’.” </p> <p>And as she added, she’d even threatened to throw a bucket on his head, far from the heartfelt goodbye he’d envisioned. </p> <p>Nunzia was determined not to be forgotten, and Nunzio was in no position to do so. Writing to her regularly, he told her all about his new life in Australia, and although she took “a little longer” to respond to him, she still did, with the two remaining in constant - if not a little irregular - contact. </p> <p>But even Nunzia couldn’t play hard to get forever, and at just 21 years old, she packed her bags and moved to join Nunzio in Australia, with the couple marrying soon after. </p> <p>However, their shared history decided the time had come to cause a little chaos, with Australian authorities assuming they’d made a mistake on their paperwork while registering their marriage. </p> <p>The issue? The similarities in their applications - their matching names, birthdays, and places of births. It was one they unfortunately encountered again when trying to organise passports. </p> <p>As for problems with their life, neither had anything to report - nor did their three children and six grandchildren, who claimed they’d never so much as seen the 80-year-old Nunzio and Nunzia argue. </p> <p>Nunzio put their success in marriage down to their amicable conflict resolution strategy, and explained that after their wedding, his wife had informed him to “keep quiet” if she started arguing while upset. </p> <p>From there, he said, they simply “cool down and we don’t argue.” </p> <p>“Dad’s a big softie,” daughter Vicki added, “you know, and there’s a lot of love.” </p> <p>“We’re very happy,” Nunzia agreed. </p> <p><em>Images: 7 News</em></p>

Relationships

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Readers Respond: What did you learn about relationships from watching your parents?

<p>We often emulate the love we received, but we also learn from the mistakes our parents have made. That is the cycle of life.</p> <p>Whether or not our parents' relationships were great, there were always lessons we learned from watching their interactions. </p> <p>We asked our Over60 readers about the valuable lessons in love they’ve learned through their parents' relationship. Here are some of your answers: </p> <p>Sue Petersen - Closeness. They were each other’s best friend. </p> <p>Noela Tziarkas- Respect, patience, loyalty. I was very lucky to have wonderful parents and a blessed childhood.</p> <p>Paulette Bakker - The love, friendship, respect, loyalty for each other, u wavering support, humour. Empathy and joy of being together. So much more. I was lucky to find the same with my husband</p> <p>Teresa James- Faithfulness, resilience, love, respect, responsibility.</p> <p>Denise Fernance - Not much I’m afraid. I never heard ‘I love you’ from them so therefore found it difficult to introduce in to our family but I have as it’s just sooo important. There was no relationship between them that I can recall. Their marriage ended in a nasty divorce resulting in my mother suffering a massive stroke. So, what did I learn? I learnt the best thing in life is to love unconditionally and I do.</p> <p>Margaret Bonnington- My parents never ever had a disagreement in front of us. They maintained that they must always go to bed on good terms. They couldn’t keep from touching each other. They were devoted.</p> <p>Thea Matto- How to be amazing parents and love unconditionally</p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p> <p> </p>

Relationships

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“Wear what makes you feel good!”: 73-year-old hits back at critics

<p>Model and fashionista Colleen Heidemann doesn’t let anything stop her - hitting back at critics who deem her outfits “not age appropriate”.</p> <p>The model, who gained over 319,000 followers on TikTok for breaking stereotypes against seniors, posted an empowering video of her rocking various swimsuits.</p> <p>“‘This swimwear is not age appropriate,’ is what they say,” she captioned at the start of her <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@colleen_heidemann/video/7110591110669454597" target="_blank" rel="noopener">TikTok</a>.</p> <p>“I say: Wear what makes you feel good!”</p> <p>The 73-year-old gained a following by consistently proving that age does not matter.</p> <p>The model started her career at the age of 69 and now posts various videos of behind-the-scenes footage during her photo shoots, all her stylish outfits, and workout clips with bold and motivational captions.</p> <p>"Temperatures are climbing and I just want to tell you, wear what makes you feel beautiful. EVERY BODY IS A SWIMSUIT BODY" she captioned.</p> <p>Various viewers have commented on the video, showing their support for her.</p> <p>“OMG YOU ARE GORGEOUS!” commented one user.</p> <p>"I love that kind of positivity," commented another, to which Colleen replied: Thank you, it is so important to find something positive in each day".</p> <p>"You're an inspiration to us 'mature' women and girl you rock that swimwear," another user complimented</p> <p><em>Image: TikTok, Instagram</em></p> <p>Here are some of her stunning looks:</p>

Beauty & Style

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Junior staff are finding better contracts, senior staff are burning out: the arts are losing the war for talent

<p>In 1997, consulting firm McKinsey &amp; Company coined the term “<a href="https://www.fastcompany.com/34512/war-talent">the war for talent</a>” to define increasing labour shortages that had significant potential to impact organisational performance. </p> <p>The war for talent significantly impacted corporations at the time, creating a scarcity mindset and encouraging a wave of employee-focussed initiatives designed to attract and retain staff. </p> <p>For the most part, the arts and cultural sector have been sheltered from the war for talent over past decades. Global growth in creative oriented higher education coupled with the “<a href="https://blogs.lse.ac.uk/lsereviewofbooks/2016/04/26/book-review-be-creative-making-a-living-in-the-new-culture-industries-by-angela-mcrobbie/">romance of being creative</a>” has led to a steady stream of workers willing to enter the sector on low pay. </p> <p>However, in 2022 things have changed.</p> <p>Faced with labour shortages, arts and cultural organisations increasingly find it challenging to operate. In 2021, it was reported screen productions in Australia were <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-09-24/high-demand-creates-film-skill-shortage/100479392">being jeopardised</a> due to lack of technical skills. </p> <p>Now, summer festivals are <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/music/2022/nov/07/will-australias-festivals-survive-a-wet-chaotic-expensive-summer">struggling to find</a> frontline workers, including security, stage crew, ticketing and transport. </p> <p>It’s not just entry-level positions that remain empty. </p> <p>After <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2021/may/11/australias-culture-of-ideas-suffers-when-we-starve-our-creative-institutions-of-funding">a decade</a> of funding cuts and policy neglect, followed by the stresses induced by COVID-19, I am observing arts leaders leaving to find secure, better paid and sustainable work elsewhere. </p> <p>In Australia’s increasingly tight labour market, the arts are finally facing a war for talent. </p> <h2>A culture of burnout</h2> <p>If we consider the role of the “arts manager”, it becomes easy to recognise why arts leaders are abandoning the industry.</p> <p>Arts leaders do not just support the creation of art. They are marketers, customer service specialists, supply chain and logistics experts, grant writers, human resources managers and – increasingly – risk managers. </p> <p>They are trying to bring back audiences post-COVID while juggling a contentious funding landscape that balances the need for revenue with audience, staff and artist <a href="https://overland.org.au/2021/09/the-arts-in-australia-need-to-break-up-with-fossil-fuels/">expectations</a> arts organisations do not partner with corporations that fail to align with organisational values.</p> <p>I am increasingly seeing young people leaving arts jobs for opportunities that recognise their skills and provide secure, better paid work. Art workers are highly valuable in today’s economy where creativity and innovation are seen as <a href="https://australiacouncil.gov.au/news/speeches-and-opinions/creative-skills-in-times-of-crisis-how-the-arts-can-help/">keys to success</a>.</p> <p>This lack of younger workers increases the workloads of senior staff, causing them to be burnt out and leave the sector, too.</p> <p>Staff shortages jeopardise the sector’s ability to get back on its feet after the brutal impact of COVID-19. Those that remain in our arts companies are exhausted, left trying to rebuild programs and audiences with fewer resources. </p> <p>While “<a href="https://theconversation.com/quiet-quitting-why-doing-less-at-work-could-be-good-for-you-and-your-employer-188617">quiet quitting</a>” gets media airtime, others in the sector are asking arts workers to embrace the mantra of “<a href="https://larsenkeys.com.au/2022/09/26/post-covid-or-post-burnout-less-is-necessary/">less is necessary</a>”.</p> <p>Individuals need to take action to address their wellbeing. Still, it is also necessary to consider the systems and structures that underpin our arts organisations and how they impact workers.</p> <h2>Structural issues</h2> <p>One way to address the war for talent is to increase the labour supply. </p> <p>Higher education providers who develop creative talent are lobbying for more resources to expand programs and are pushing for changes to the Job Ready graduate scheme that <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-inequity-of-job-ready-graduates-for-students-must-be-brought-to-a-quick-end-heres-how-183808">imposes higher costs</a> on arts and humanities graduates. </p> <p>The latest <a href="https://www.aare.edu.au/blog/?p=14754">Graduate Outcome Survey</a> shows that the employment outcomes of creative arts and arts and humanities graduates have increased over 20% since 2019. The high rates of graduate employability aligns with Australia’s historically low unemployment rate, but also demonstrates the value creative skills now hold in the broader economy.</p> <p>What these positive statistics do not tell us, however, is the working conditions of those employed. </p> <p>The arts are the original gig economy. Of the over 80% of arts and humanities graduates employed six months after graduation, how many earn a living wage? How many work in the arts? How many recent creative arts graduates are juggling multiple short-term contracts simultaneously to build skills, grow networks and cope with cost of living increases? </p> <p>As Australia’s labour market tightens, arts workers are realising they can take their skills to better paid jobs with secure contracts, in fields such as health, technology and management consulting.</p> <p>Unless arts organisations respond by providing similar security and career paths, the departure of talented workers will only continue. </p> <p>This loss of staff will not only impact the ability of organisations to operate today, but will also influence the make-up of arts organisations in the future. </p> <p>When only those who can afford to work under precarious conditions remain, the ability of the sector to attract and retain leaders from diverse communities <a href="https://www.artshub.com.au/news/features/how-do-we-stop-losing-artists-from-the-sector-2578669/">decreases</a>. </p> <h2>Decent work</h2> <p>Arts leaders eagerly await the launch of a new <a href="https://theconversation.com/a-new-national-cultural-policy-is-an-opportunity-for-a-radical-rethinking-of-the-importance-of-culture-in-australia-188720">National Cultural Policy</a>, hoping for significant change in how the arts are valued. </p> <p>Yet arts organisations need to also get their own house in order. </p> <p>Sustainable arts careers mean <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-crisis-of-a-career-in-culture-why-sustaining-a-livelihood-in-the-arts-is-so-hard-171732">decent work</a>. This means structural changes in how arts workers are employed, a shift away from the reliance on volunteers and <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/culture/art-and-design/why-is-a-major-sydney-arts-festival-working-with-google-to-offer-an-unpaid-internship-20220516-p5als1.html">incorrect appointment of unpaid interns</a>, low-wage casual or fixed-term roles to more secure and fairly paid employment. </p> <p>Many in the sector are championing change. The National Association for the Visual Arts is campaigning to <a href="https://visualarts.net.au/news-opinion/2022/recognise-artists-workers/">recognise artists as workers</a>, highlighting the need for an award to support this group that often falls under the industrial relations radar. The music sector has made similar calls for minimum wages for artists, <a href="https://www.theage.com.au/national/victoria/paying-musicians-a-minimum-wage-would-kill-live-music-tote-owner-20220923-p5bkgw.html">yet face critics</a>. </p> <p>The pandemic showed us how important the arts are to our lives. For the arts to continue to play a vital role in our national identity and represent our diverse communities, the sector must be funded appropriately. </p> <p>It is also essential organisations create safe, secure and viable jobs for arts workers. </p> <p>If the industry can only exist by systematically exploiting workers, then the war for talent will be lost.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/junior-staff-are-finding-better-contracts-senior-staff-are-burning-out-the-arts-are-losing-the-war-for-talent-194174" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. </em></p>

Art

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5 signs you're ready to start dating again

<p>Dealing with a breakup or a loss of a loved one is tough and takes time. It might not seem likely but at some point you may feel like getting back in the “game”. It can be hard to figure out exactly when you are ready to pursue another romantic relationship though. For many people, the thought of dating can be daunting if you’ve been out of the dating world for a long time. But remember there’s a big bright world out there with many wonderful people ready to make your acquaintance. Here are some signs that you might be ready to meet somebody new.</p> <p><strong>You have let go</strong></p> <p>This is the hardest thing to do but once you have truly let go then you are ready to start dating again. Whether you are widowed or divorced, you need to let yourself grieve. There is no time limit and it can be a painful process but there will come a day where you feel like you’re ready to make new memories. This may mean you no longer feel betrayed, hurt or angry. It might mean you know your loved one is gone so now you can look to the future. If you are still thinking of the past, you won’t be ready to give a new relationship a proper go. Think of what the future and the dating world will open up for you. </p> <p><strong>You are at peace alone</strong></p> <p>Are you independent and happy to be alone? Sometimes after a breakup we become dependent on others to fill our time or our sense-of-self has been lost in being a couple for such a long time. Being at peace with yourself is about having a life that it not only yours but one you are satisfied with. After all, how can you be a partner to someone if you aren’t content with your life? It may seem strange but once you are comfortable with being alone, you are ready to meet somebody new. Remember you want to start dating, you don’t need too!</p> <p><strong>You know what you want</strong></p> <p>You don’t have to have everything figured out but it’s important you have an idea of want you want out of life moving forward. This can help you determine what you want (and don’t want) out of a new relationship. When you know what you want in life, the future and a companion, you’ll be able to see much clearer when you’ve found the person for you!</p> <p><strong>You are doing it for the right reasons  </strong></p> <p>The only reason you should begin dating again is if you are genuinely looking to meet someone new. You need to be honest with yourself – if you are looking to fill the void, a confidence boost, make somebody jealous, replace an old partner or afraid to be alone – you aren’t ready to start dating. Dating for the wrong reasons usually ends in disappointment and hurt.</p> <p><strong>Your friends and families tell you</strong></p> <p>After a painful loss or break-up, it’s common to get comfortable in a routine. You might think “that’s it” or it’s “too hard” even when family and friends are telling you to get back out there. It’s not the easiest thing to hear and you might think you know best, but sometimes your loved ones can see things you can’t. If your family and friends (who know you best) think you might be ready to start dating again, it might be the gentle push you need to go out and mingle! </p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

Relationships